FabSwingers.com forum: Cheating...

By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I spend lots of time with my gf, care for her deeply, look after her, support her financially and emotionally and have done for the last 4 years. She is in a far better position emotionally, financially and other ways that it is likely she would have been without me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/04/15 00:44:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the feeling.

The last thing you need is someone preaching to you.

I'm not proud of myself but hey nobody's perfect!?

People in glasshouses etc etc!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Prepare to be judged by people who say that cheating is wrong but having sex with other people with each other's consent is right because it brings you closer together.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

I have been on the site a while and I know how it works with the judgy people. They can waste their words if it makes them happy - they can neither offend jor influence me as over the last year I have considered many different opinions and _iews.

I am curious if anyone else cheats but is happy in their relationship more than anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You probably don't feel guilty as you see it as her fault that the sex is shit.

In my opinion anyways

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"You probably don't feel guilty as you see it as her fault that the sex is shit.

In my opinion anyways "

I thought that but I don't blame her - she tries, she has tried my suggestions - it just doesn't feel as good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem to justify that because you look after all her needs then you're entitled to look after your own too, which is fair enough and i agree with you that you should attend your own needs. Placing your own needs as unimportant can work for some people but most of us would be unhappy with it.

Although i don't agree with you hiding it or lying to someone about it, because it implies you now your partner wouldn't be happy with what you are doing. So although i do believe you love and care for her i also think you don't want to lose her but are prepared to take that risk because you can't bear to feel unfulfilled yourself.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

I guess some people just don't feel guilt.

If you truly believe that you're somehow doing her a favour by staying with her yet seeking your thrills elsewhere, surely you wouldn't see it as you doing anything wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your cheating on your gf and still using your couples account? get rid of the account and pics of her.

As for cheating, I suggest you leave her so she can find someone she deserves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!"

you sound like s psychopath....they have little empathy or guilt....not that you are going to kill anyone or anything....but that is definitely two of the personality traits....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to choose one or the other, sex or your gf? You cant have both, ot will all end in tears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it just this situation you don't feel sympathy for? Or others?

If it is just this situation then I don't know, I don't think I can help you. If if is others too, I advise you to seek medical advice as that would be pretty worrying...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You need to choose one or the other, sex or your gf? You cant have both, ot will all end in tears"

She's right. Man up and choose. I chose to have a non sexual relationship with my girlfriend because she didn't want sex. Now I'm single and can have all the sex I choose. Problem is that you want it both ways and by the way you post, you won't listen anyway. You're welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!"

try to use the "swinger umbrella" to justify this? cheats are scum end of! it destroys emotions and confidence once caught! no more said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because you have successfully rationalised it to yourself.

One thing to think about if you think the sec is rubbish have you ever considered she does too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I think monogomy is outdated and unnecessary unfulfilling and limits experiences. I've cheated I've shared and I've been honest. I prefer honesty it's less stressful. But we all justify things as we see fit and to be honest if we are comfortable with that then why should others judge. I have come to the conclusion all my needs can't be met by a single person. That doesn't make be a bad person just self aware and honest with myself.

If what I do causes negative consequences then I have to accept that.. tears or no tears

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she is doing the same. Ever thought of that lol.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if you know that some people won't agree with you or that you don't care about their opinions....

why ask ?

just keep on shagging your gf and other women you meet in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your girlfriends number?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You probably don't feel guilty as you see it as her fault that the sex is shit.

In my opinion anyways

I thought that but I don't blame her - she tries, she has tried my suggestions - it just doesn't feel as good."

Have you tried her suggestions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think i've figured it out:

"I spend lots of time with my gf, care for her deeply, look after her, support her financially and emotionally and have done for the last 4 years. She is in a far better position emotionally, financially and other ways that it is likely she would have been without me."

I am so great my girlfriend would put up with anything to be with me.

You're just shallow OP, plenty of people are like that, and many guys have cheated on their partners and not cared coz they're selfish. It's not abnormal if that's why you're worried? Sometimes women do put up with it because the alternative would be worse, you must feel she would. I do wonder if she's vulnerable in some way and you don't mind preying on that, if so then yes i hope she doesn't mind being treated the way you are treating her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

Above we have a poster calling the OP a "psychopath" because he has sex with persons other than his GF. There is no evidence that he displays violent social behaviour? How is that an acceptable comment?

Why does what is primarily a pleasant and necessary physical act get such high billing in the human world? Why can failure to comply with an unnatural social and religious construct be used to destroy otherwise very good relationships and condemn a persons of otherwise ordinary character to being among the most socially unacceptable of all?

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"Above we have a poster calling the OP a "psychopath" because he has sex with persons other than his GF. There is no evidence that he displays violent social behaviour? How is that an acceptable comment?"

That poster did say that they are not calling the O.P violent, just that lack of empathy and guilt are two typical signs of being a psychopath.

Psychopathic doesn't automatically mean violent.

Sure, it's random but the O.P asked for suggestions as to why he may not feel guilty (hey, if he doesn't know, how the fuck are we supposed to?).

So really, said poster was just throwing a possible option/idea out there - which is technically what the O.P asked for!

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By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!"

The only reason you dont care ...is because you havnt been found out yet ... when u do youll cry like a baby

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

You probably just get off on the thrill of not being caught but you will be eventually and she will no doubt already have her suspicions shes just cant prove it yet. Most cheated parties know the other person is doing it long before they can prove it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Day 2 in fab world & another cheating thread

Anyway I digress....

Reading between the lines I conclude OP your actions don't bother you because of the way you _iew your girlfriend, she's not an equal in your eyes.

You feel you give her a better life so I ask you what does she bring to the table in your relationship ~ if it's nothing then you have your answer?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!"

People have different reasons for cheating etc but I really don't think you've done yourself any favours for posting this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

People have different reasons for cheating etc but I really don't think you've done yourself any favours for posting this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

Psychopaths do not always display violent social behaviour...James Bond does not display violent social behaviour..if he did he would not be able to stay undercover..you don't know the true meaning of a psychopath...calm under pressure, no empathy, calculated risks, charm, charisma, focus, self confidence...those are the traits of a psychopath...I think you are thinking of a sociopath...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That poster did say that they are not calling the O.P violent, just that lack of empathy and guilt are two typical signs of being a psychopath.

Psychopathic doesn't automatically mean violent.

Sure, it's random but the O.P asked for suggestions as to why he may not feel guilty (hey, if he doesn't know, how the fuck are we supposed to?).

So really, said poster was just throwing a possible option/idea out there - which is technically what the O.P asked for!"

It's not random. Psychopath is a term that would describe the OP's behaviour. He said he had researched psychology, which is why I think she used the term- as he may understand what it means.

OP, also look up cognitive dissonance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you feel your looking after her so you can do as you please as its like your paying her in some way . Would you be ok if she was doing this to you think how would you feel.? Myself I think it takes a brave man to tell the truth and you don't come across as brave .. Karma has its own way I find sorting things out .. You see as seen it time and time again .

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

The op says he does not care that he is cheating.

1If ypur girfriend is devastated and hurt when she finds out, would you care then, that she is suffering.

2 If she is upset by something that happens to her that has nothing to do with you, does that affect you at all.

3 If she cheatedbehind your back andhad great sex with someone else would you care?

4 If she was not in your life would you care?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't feel guilty because you feel that something is missing from your relationship and you are using swinging to fill that gap. It's that simple. Everyone who swings goes against the normal accepted rules of society. We all know this. Quite why people feel the need to judge you is beyond me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if your meeting alone and she is not around why on a couples profile .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you have sex outside your relationship because you can. I think you feel no guilt because as you said you don't care about anyone elses opinion on the matter.

You write almost as an observer of your situation perhaps you've disconnected yourself from feeling things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you didn't have sex with someone else to get the desires you need, your frustration would come out into your relationship. Il be shot at dawn for this, but in my opinion you don't feel guilt as your head is telling your heart you are taking your pleasures else where to keep your relationship alive. What I would suggest is along the way, spend time slowly letting that wild side come out with your girlfriend. Your only as good in bed as the person whos with you. Share that steam and grow together. You may be surprised, and I hate to point out, she may be doing exactly the same thing to you. Xx

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

"You don't feel guilty because you feel that something is missing from your relationship and you are using swinging to fill that gap. It's that simple. Everyone who swings goes against the normal accepted rules of society. We all know this. Quite why people feel the need to judge you is beyond me."

Hes not swinging hes cheating. The op can see this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you didn't have sex with someone else to get the desires you need, your frustration would come out into your relationship. Il be shot at dawn for this, but in my opinion you don't feel guilt as your head is telling your heart you are taking your pleasures else where to keep your relationship alive. What I would suggest is along the way, spend time slowly letting that wild side come out with your girlfriend. Your only as good in bed as the person whos with you. Share that steam and grow together. You may be surprised, and I hate to point out, she may be doing exactly the same thing to you. Xx "

This is good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He asked why he was not feeling guilty not to be judged. I've been cheated on many times I've kind of grown used to it. Hardened to it i suppose. It gives you a more clinical outlook on life i guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He asked why he was not feeling guilty not to be judged. I've been cheated on many times I've kind of grown used to it. Hardened to it i suppose. It gives you a more clinical outlook on life i guess."
why he don't feel guilty as paying her and he thinks he has a right maybe.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Asking not to be judged is fine but not feasible we all judge one way or another. I'm not sure why the op asks for our opinion on one aspect of his life but forbids it on another while claiming to feel no guilt. I suspect there is more behind the question or why would he have asked it?

Whatever the reasoning I'm not particularly concerned since it has no negative impact on me and i suspect that might partly explain the ops lack of guilt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

May i suggest an alternative to mental instability?. The creation of this great importance surrounding sex and monogamy is a relatively recent social and religious construct. Like you may or may not be religious you also may or may not value the concept of monogamous sex depending on how well you were indoctrinated as a child.

Whilst "proper swingers" may reach agreements with each other on the matter, which indemnifies them within the swinging group from criticism, ultimately they are still cheating in the eyes of society in general. So to understand the OP's position look within yourselves.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"May i suggest an alternative to mental instability?. The creation of this great importance surrounding sex and monogamy is a relatively recent social and religious construct. Like you may or may not be religious you also may or may not value the concept of monogamous sex depending on how well you were indoctrinated as a child.

Yes there's also that. However the op himself appears to suggest that he feels he ought to be feeling guilty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes there's also that. However the op himself appears to suggest that he feels he ought to be feeling guilty."

I suggest he feels that because that is what he has been taught. That is what social and religious indoctrination does to you.

For example, I eat and enjoy bacon all the time, yet to the devout Muslims and Jews that would be enough to traumatised them. Yet their bodies are perfectly capable of eating pork without ill effect. In a similar way social conditioning tells us to be monogamous and also to feel hurt if our partner us not faithful.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Well this was fun.

I have considered psychopathic behaviour but I have high levels of empathy in other situations - though I do struggle with sympathy at times.

I have been cheated in in the past and cheated on someone else so had both sides of it. I have experienced both but hasn't changed my desire to cheat which is a whole other can of worms.

Not quite sure where the couple's account came into things? My account here is a single male and unless you are particularly good a detective work I would really expect people to find my couples account (if you did you would find it is for my submissive and I).

I regularly try to spice things up with gf and listen to her suggestions as well. It is more the physical sensation that isn't as good - not necessarily what/how we do it.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I find the OP irrelevant.

He doesn't care as he is cheating on the girlfriend he is supposed to love. So why would anyone else's opinions on here going to bother him at all??

It's a pointless conversation. If he had feelings and cared then how he feels about his girlfriend would be enough to put him to shame to change.

As he says he doesn't have any feelings about it would he care if his girlfriend did the same to him? Would he care to see her satisfied by another man, lady or both?

As others said, give us her number lol.

I think a sociapath is a good word. Aresehole is another.

If she left him and found an honest relationship would he care....I doubt it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Prepare to be judged by people who say that cheating is wrong but having sex with other people with each other's consent is right because it

ive always wondered about that one too.

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

Just read your last post OP as it came on while I was typing mine.

Sounds like a sociapath isn't a fair word after all.

In that case there are many other words to describe you. I can think of many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well this was fun.

I have considered psychopathic behaviour but I have high levels of empathy in other situations - though I do struggle with sympathy at times.

I have been cheated in in the past and cheated on someone else so had both sides of it. I have experienced both but hasn't changed my desire to cheat which is a whole other can of worms.

I regularly try to spice things up with gf and listen to her suggestions as well. It is more the physical sensation that isn't as good - not necessarily what/how we do it.

Did you get the answer you were looking for?

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Well this was fun.

I have considered psychopathic behaviour but I have high levels of empathy in other situations - though I do struggle with sympathy at times.

I have been cheated in in the past and cheated on someone else so had both sides of it. I have experienced both but hasn't changed my desire to cheat which is a whole other can of worms.

I regularly try to spice things up with gf and listen to her suggestions as well. It is more the physical sensation that isn't as good - not necessarily what/how we do it.

Did you get the answer you were looking for?"

In all honesty I am not sure there is an answer Inam looking for - it is an interesting mix of cultural and social pressure, moral obligations and beliefs, opinions and a whole load of other stuff.

It is interesting to consider and helps me think about things - got a few more things to consider and look into so probably worth it..

Thank you.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

People have different reasons for cheating etc but I really don't think you've done yourself any favours for posting this

Definately

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

People have different reasons for cheating etc but I really don't think you've done yourself any favours for posting this

Definately

I am honest with anyone I meet on here that I am cheating? I have verifications from people to prove that when I meet I am not a crazy person.

In some respects I am less likely to become infatuated and obsessive like some have my friends have experienced on here.

I am curious how I haven't done myself any favours?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are justifying it in your head that you are doing no wrong, thats why no guilt.

It is a shame people cheat and lose, if she has not picked up you are cheating already she will.

Then you may have to justify why she left, because one mans downfall is another mans treasure.

Her

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

The its a couple profile could come from the fact you have a woman sucking your cock and a profile pic combied with your username, even though jeckel and hyde are actually the same person it implies theres two of you.

To be fair, given your detached _iew of your cheating I can see the username is quite aptly picked

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"The its a couple profile could come from the fact you have a woman sucking your cock and a profile pic combied with your username, even though jeckel and hyde are actually the same person it implies theres two of you.

To be fair, given your detached _iew of your cheating I can see the username is quite aptly picked "

Method in my madness

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

Oh my God I am all them things,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having cheated on my husband for many years and actually getting quite a buzz from having someone else in his bed I'd say it's not just you. Although in my case I despised him and felt trapped by him so the love wasn't there. I loved the thrill of getting away with it. Having my own little secret. I imagine there are many who feel like that in happy relationships too. Some even have a great seXlife with their partners but just want the extra excitement. It's no one's place to judge anyone on here. Don't beat yourself up for not feeling guilty. Life is hard enough x

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By *he WickedsCouple
over a year ago

Swingtown

so well said! Couldn't have put it any better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!"
Your justifying your actions to yourself and a bunch of strangers...tell your insignificant other half what you are doing and see how well her confidence holds up or even better you turn her away from men and relationships forever,The decent thing to do is dump her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

People have different reasons for cheating etc but I really don't think you've done yourself any favours for posting this

Definately

I am honest with anyone I meet on here that I am cheating? I have verifications from people to prove that when I meet I am not a crazy person.

In some respects I am less likely to become infatuated and obsessive like some have my friends have experienced on here.

I am curious how I haven't done myself any favours?"

Well you've been called a psychopath (not by me) lol not really the impression you want to give is it?

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

People have different reasons for cheating etc but I really don't think you've done yourself any favours for posting this

Definately

I am honest with anyone I meet on here that I am cheating? I have verifications from people to prove that when I meet I am not a crazy person.

In some respects I am less likely to become infatuated and obsessive like some have my friends have experienced on here.

I am curious how I haven't done myself any favours?

Well you've been called a psychopath (not by me) lol not really the impression you want to give is it?

Depends what people are into I guess - lol. I have been called many things! And doubtless will be called many more before my time is through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

your a control freak!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I think you probably don't feel guilt because you don't come across as thinking your G.F is equal to you....plus and attitude of I am providing for her, I can do what I want.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"your a control freak!"

That is entirely possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

People have different reasons for cheating etc but I really don't think you've done yourself any favours for posting this

Definately

I am honest with anyone I meet on here that I am cheating? I have verifications from people to prove that when I meet I am not a crazy person.

In some respects I am less likely to become infatuated and obsessive like some have my friends have experienced on here.

I am curious how I haven't done myself any favours?

Well you've been called a psychopath (not by me) lol not really the impression you want to give is it?

Depends what people are into I guess - lol. I have been called many things! And doubtless will be called many more before my time is through."

True I suppose you could've been called worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hey people!

The OP could be collecting _iews to write about after all. So, don't take it seriously

Check my profile! No, his I meant

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

From a pychological stand point the reason your questioning why your not "guilty" could be a subconcious admittance of guilt

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"hey people!

The OP could be collecting _iews to write about after all. So, don't take it seriously

Check my profile! No, his I meant

;) I'm always after new ideas!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex husband cheated because he has to feel wanted and adored. Having me wasn't enough,he needed constant adoration and I love you messages from his other woman. I saw the texts,he never said he loved me but demanded she said it to him. Probably made him feel more powerful. All the time he was falsely accusing me of cheating,which I wasn't. He refused me sex and laid the blame on me,to transfer his guilt. One day you could wake up with all that guilt suffocating you.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"My ex husband cheated because he has to feel wanted and adored. Having me wasn't enough,he needed constant adoration and I love you messages from his other woman. I saw the texts,he never said he loved me but demanded she said it to him. Probably made him feel more powerful. All the time he was falsely accusing me of cheating,which I wasn't. He refused me sex and laid the blame on me,to transfer his guilt. One day you could wake up with all that guilt suffocating you."

Could do...

Never accused gf of cheating and would be happy swinging with her but she isn't interested. Never refused her sex and always do my best to make sure she enjoys it. If I'm honest I do like the feeling I get after making someone cum.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Ah the classic reflection/transferrence of guilt scenario. I had that with my ex too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why does what is primarily a pleasant and necessary physical act get such high billing in the human world? Why can failure to comply with an unnatural social and religious construct be used to destroy otherwise very good relationships and condemn a persons of otherwise ordinary character to being among the most socially unacceptable of all?

As such, could In vitro fertilisation be classified as evolution? Does one disconnect feelings from senses? Would that create a more psychopathic society? Not talking about religion, more how the act of sex for procreation or not, has developed humanity into what it is today . Would we still have sex if it wasn't necessary for both procreation and pleasure because humanity evolved?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you don't feel guilty because you have justified all the other "right" things in your relationship.

I am really anti cheating. The betrayal and lying and looking into someones eyes, telling them you love them when you know what you are doing behind their back?!?!

We get contacted by people in your situation and for me its an instant delete cas you are not just cheating, you are trying to cheat with multiple people!

We were at a party where there were two people, both married, who were swinging together. It was so uncomfortable and I felt it was anti-swinging.

The whole thing about swinging is that it's something a couple can do together.

Anyways,Sex is a huge part of a relationship and if its not there then what's the point of being together?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could do...

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Could do...

Interesting you picked up on that. With my submissive I can fuck her to 30 orgasms in 2-3 hours (we counted) - my gf however I can only get off with fingers and tongue. Comes down to that sensations thing again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That poster did say that they are not calling the O.P violent, just that lack of empathy and guilt are two typical signs of being a psychopath.

Psychopathic doesn't automatically mean violent.

Sure, it's random but the O.P asked for suggestions as to why he may not feel guilty (hey, if he doesn't know, how the fuck are we supposed to?).

So really, said poster was just throwing a possible option/idea out there - which is technically what the O.P asked for!

It's not random. Psychopath is a term that would describe the OP's behaviour. He said he had researched psychology, which is why I think she used the term- as he may understand what it means.

OP, also look up cognitive dissonance. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could do...

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!

you sound like s psychopath....they have little empathy or guilt....not that you are going to kill anyone or anything....but that is definitely two of the personality traits...."

I was thinking more sociopath.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"if you know that some people won't agree with you or that you don't care about their opinions....

why ask ?

just keep on shagging your gf and other women you meet in life.

Sigh...If only they'd refrain from justifying and sharing.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Let me think...because he posted this thread on an open forum inviting comments or did I get that wrong?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never cease to be amazed that on a swingers site there still remains an apparently simplistic and seemingly almost religious commitment to monogamy.

If polygamy is truely acceptable, by agreement, why does monogamy need to exist in the first place? It is surely one the most unjustified yet destructive and divisive social construct?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find the OP irrelevant.

He doesn't care as he is cheating on the girlfriend he is supposed to love. So why would anyone else's opinions on here going to bother him at all??

It's a pointless conversation. If he had feelings and cared then how he feels about his girlfriend would be enough to put him to shame to change.

As he says he doesn't have any feelings about it would he care if his girlfriend did the same to him? Would he care to see her satisfied by another man, lady or both?

As others said, give us her number lol.

I think a sociapath is a good word. Aresehole is another.

If she left him and found an honest relationship would he care....I doubt it"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

You obviously haven't taken the time to look up the psychologically accurate meaning of "psychopath", the poster was in no way suggesting that the OP is violent.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

You obviously haven't taken the time to look up the psychologically accurate meaning of "psychopath", the poster was in no way suggesting that the OP is violent.

Psychopath

noun

a person with a psychopathic personality, which manifests as amoral and antisocial behavior, lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, extreme egocentricity, failure to learn from experience, etc.

I have lots of relationships with meaning (not all sexual either) lol

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Could do...

No she hasn't been able to. She says it feels good and she enjoys it but can't cum.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

You obviously haven't taken the time to look up the psychologically accurate meaning of "psychopath", the poster was in no way suggesting that the OP is violent.

Psychopath

noun

I have lots of relationships with meaning (not all sexual either) lol"

Sociopath

noun, Psychiatry.

a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could do...

No she hasn't been able to. She says it feels good and she enjoys it but can't cum."
do you think you would still "see" other women if she did cum for you during full sex?

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Could do...

No she hasn't been able to. She says it feels good and she enjoys it but can't cum. do you think you would still "see" other women if she did cum for you during full sex? "

Now that is an interesting question and one to which I am honest enough to say I am not sure. That comes down to my motivation for cheating and sleeping with other people. I would certainly be happier with our sex if she could. I am not sure if that would stop me cheating though.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I never cease to be amazed that on a swingers site there still remains an apparently simplistic and seemingly almost religious commitment to monogamy.

If polygamy is truely acceptable, by agreement, why does monogamy need to exist in the first place? It is surely one the most unjustified yet destructive and divisive social construct? "

Yes it is but we're stuck with it and it's consequences therefore must deal with what is, not what we would like to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

You obviously haven't taken the time to look up the psychologically accurate meaning of "psychopath", the poster was in no way suggesting that the OP is violent.

The Oxford English dictionary defines psychopath as "A person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behaviour"

A recent survey of 3% of the married population indicated 25% of married men and 18% of married women in the UK "cheat". If cheating makes you a psychopath then Britain has one hell of a mental problem! .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let me think...because he posted this thread on an open forum inviting comments or did I get that wrong?!!

Specifically asking why he didn't feel guilty. I appreciate it was inevitable that he was going to be judged. But just because I knew it was going to happen I still don't get why. If his post said hey I'm cheating on my partner take that bitches I could understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could do...

No she hasn't been able to. She says it feels good and she enjoys it but can't cum. do you think you would still "see" other women if she did cum for you during full sex?

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Could do...

No she hasn't been able to. She says it feels good and she enjoys it but can't cum. do you think you would still "see" other women if she did cum for you during full sex?

I have many flaws. Lol

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

Out of pure curiosity OP out of these 30 orgasms you gave your fuck buddy in 2 hours how many can you 100% guarentee werent faked for your benefit?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Out of pure curiosity OP out of these 30 orgasms you gave your fuck buddy in 2 hours how many can you 100% guarentee werent faked for your benefit? "

Lol

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now that is an interesting question and one to which I am honest enough to say I am not sure. That comes down to my motivation for cheating and sleeping with other people. I would certainly be happier with our sex if she could. I am not sure if that would stop me cheating though. "

If a man is trying to make me come, I never come. Never. The pressure puts me right off.

I'm just saying...

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies. "

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man is trying to make me come, I never come. Never. The pressure puts me right off.

I'm just saying..."

Im the same from a male perspective obviously.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real? "

Trust...

Ironic I know - sex is very open and honest between us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a man is trying to make me come, I never come. Never. The pressure puts me right off.

I'm just saying..."

This for me too, can't cum on demand!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real?

Trust...

Ironic I know - sex is very open and honest between us."

You're very self aware. This has been an interesting discussion in many ways.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Quick question, I notice that you say you "care for your girlfriend deeply", but do you actually LOVE her?

And when you say your relationship with your submissive is more than fuckbuddies, what exactly do you mean by that?

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real?

Trust...

Ironic I know - sex is very open and honest between us."

So YOU think...

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real?

Trust...

Ironic I know - sex is very open and honest between us."

After reading between the lines of more recent comments it sounds to me that you dont feel guilty as you have a better relationship with your fuck buddy id go as far to say you love her not you gf, personally think.if you havent yet realised it you soon will enough. That is only my opinion of course

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real?

Trust...

Ironic I know - sex is very open and honest between us.

So YOU think..."

That is possibly what every relationship is based n though, what an individual thinks is true based on what the other people say or do.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real?

Trust...

Ironic I know - sex is very open and honest between us.

So YOU think...

That is possibly what every relationship is based n though, what an individual thinks is true based on what the other people say or do. "

I know that but as it's a concept that keeps being thrown around, I thought it would apply here as well.

Like when the cheating debate typically starts and someone trying to justify themselves will always say "to all you couples, how do you know your partner isn't cheating on you?".

As Curvymama said, some are absolute experts at faking orgasms. So although you may think she's being honest, who's to say she's not just keeping up pretences as not to blunt your ego?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real?

Trust...

Ironic I know - sex is very open and honest between us.

So YOU think...

That is possibly what every relationship is based n though, what an individual thinks is true based on what the other people say or do.

I know that but as it's a concept that keeps being thrown around, I thought it would apply here as well.

Like when the cheating debate typically starts and someone trying to justify themselves will always say "to all you couples, how do you know your partner isn't cheating on you?".

As Curvymama said, some are absolute experts at faking orgasms. So although you may think she's being honest, who's to say she's not just keeping up pretences as not to blunt your ego?"

Ok.

I think we've been asked to infer plenty about the op I'm not sure we can infer anything about the women in his life.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

I guess what I really want to know is, would you care if your sub was faking it?

And as you don't seem to feel guilt about your GF and don't seem to be sure how you'd feel if she was actually getting fucked senseless elsewhere, we'll take it to your sub. - So knowing how much trust a D/s relationship takes, if your submissive started seeing someone without your knowledge or consent, would you care THEN?

And based on that answer, are you sure that your love doesn't lie with your sub rather than your girlfriend?

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"Ok.

I think we've been asked to infer plenty about the op I'm not sure we can infer anything about the women in his life."

I know. I'll admit, I got a little bit sidetracked. x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Ok.

I think we've been asked to infer plenty about the op I'm not sure we can infer anything about the women in his life.

I know. I'll admit, I got a little bit sidetracked. x"

I'm working on not getting sidetracked, it's tough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like when the cheating debate typically starts and someone trying to justify themselves will always say "to all you couples, how do you know your partner isn't cheating on you?".

As Curvymama said, some are absolute experts at faking orgasms. So although you may think she's being honest, who's to say she's not just keeping up pretences as not to blunt your ego?"

I wonder if his 'sub' is free to see whoever she wants, since he's also seeing whoever he wants?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every single one - the first time I did it she didn't know I get off on making people cum, she was also as shocked as I was at how fast and quickly she came.

There was an intensity to them and the state she was in afterwards.

I also didn't meet her in here and she isn't fucking others - the relationship is more than fuckbuddies.

Any woman thats had a true orgasms knows how to fake them even down to the intensity and after effects, so again I ask can you guarentee they were all real? "

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

This is promoting very interesting discussion! Thank you to ther person who said I am self aware - I do try to be - I think challenge like this threat helps that.

It is easy to simply justify the cheating and move on ignoring it.

I would rather consider it carefully.

I have feelings for my sub. They could be considered love - except that I have similar feelings for my gf - so another question - can someone love two people the same but for different reasons?

I have discussed everyone I have met separately with my sub - she has full disclosure on my sex life. We have discussed her meeting other people - I would be willing in certain situations to allow that to happen (sub dynamic is different to gf dynamic so harder to compare) however she has said she isn't interested. She would like to play with a female and me as she is Bi.

Hmmmm trying to remember what else was on the comments...

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"I guess what I really want to know is, would you care if your sub was faking it?

And based on that answer, are you sure that your love doesn't lie with your sub rather than your girlfriend?"

This was the one I was trying to remember - if sub started cheating on me then I would care, because I have given her the option to do that and she has submitted to me - so that would be a deliberate choice when given the option.

Someone mentioned control before and that is quite a big thing for me - not in a crazy person 'not allowed to go out and see your friends kinda way' but certainly with my sub it is a big part of our relationship.

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

The saying having your cake springs to mind , but what happens when she finds out . Do you break her heart and smash her confidence . Or does she flip and do a bobbit .

You cant build a relationship based on sex alone ,if that's your main worry then your with the wrong person or perhaps they are with the wrong person

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This is promoting very interesting discussion! Thank you to ther person who said I am self aware - I do try to be - I think challenge like this threat helps that.

It is easy to simply justify the cheating and move on ignoring it.

I would rather consider it carefully.

I have feelings for my sub. They could be considered love - except that I have similar feelings for my gf - so another question - can someone love two people the same but for different reasons?

Hmmmm trying to remember what else was on the comments... "

It was me who said you are self aware. Acknowledging what you are doing and feeling no remorse for those potentially harmful actions even though you are aware of them is fairly common in my experience. I don't think you're unusual feeling the way you do but I think you've articulated it well and avoided the justification that some people use.

I hope that everyone concerned learns and grows from their experiences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting debate that. Nice one OP.

Firstly, In every other way other than sex it appears your GF is fairly ''looked after'' ie: your sub. This I would see as some where you may not feel guilt about as perhaps in your eyes if she TRULY loved you she would go the full mile and submit in every way.

Second, From your transcript, Id suggest this threatens the ego driven controlling side.

Your sub could be considered perfection then.....however...clearly there is a ''guilt'' felt in hurting your girlfriend by letting her go. Also, the underlying idea that something with your sub is not like with your GF. ie: sex=sub politicalsocio debate = GF.

The point I guess is perfection is a very difficult cup to fill. I and Mrs are in an enviable position that we would never lie, or in her words how can it be unfaithful if your watching lol. Just a few thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if you know that some people won't agree with you or that you don't care about their opinions....

why ask ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and to whoever said you cant base a relationship solely on sex.....

I completely disagree. Thats how we started, thats how we continue, and thats how they'll nail the lid down 10 years on and the ONLY woman I have never been unfaithful to, all just because of honesty by us both for the first time in a relationship. Not sure we would have had that honesty or been comfortable being honest about sex with out our relationship being built around it,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I guess what I really want to know is, would you care if your sub was faking it?

And based on that answer, are you sure that your love doesn't lie with your sub rather than your girlfriend?

Not that I care what you do but personally as a guy who is cheating I feel you have no rights to care or be hurt if someone is cheating on you after all they are only doing the same as you

In fact seeing as you live with someone else and just knocking this sub off is it actually cheating if she did fuck someone else without asking you

That is all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day! The question is, what if she was doing it to you? How would you feel. Now if you feel nothing now, break up. If you do, you'll realise something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like an a level psycology class in here...I never did put much stock in psychology......

Did you ever consider you were just an old fashioned 'orrible wanker?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It sounds like an a level psycology class in here...I never did put much stock in psychology......

Did you ever consider you were just an old fashioned 'orrible wanker? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It sounds like an a level psycology class in here...I never did put much stock in psychology......

Did you ever consider you were just an old fashioned 'orrible wanker? "

Say it how it is

Sorry did make me laugh though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do relationships develop if the sex isn't good in the first place? That's what I don't understand when cheats use lack of sex as their reason. Ok I understand it a bit more if it's stopped suddenly but in this case from what he's written it sounds like he's never been satisfied with it from the start, so why let it go on 4 years?

Personally if a guy was a shit rub and I didn't see any potential in him I wouldn't have a relationship with him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So how would you feel if you found out that your gf had a fb like you? You have avoided answering that question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It sounds like an a level psycology class in here...I never did put much stock in psychology......

Did you ever consider you were just an old fashioned 'orrible wanker?

Say it how it is

Sorry did make me laugh though

Call a spade a spade....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do relationships develop if the sex isn't good in the first place? That's what I don't understand when cheats use lack of sex as their reason. Ok I understand it a bit more if it's stopped suddenly but in this case from what he's written it sounds like he's never been satisfied with it from the start, so why let it go on 4 years?

Personally if a guy was a shit rub and I didn't see any potential in him I wouldn't have a relationship with him.

I think it depends on what you want out of a relationship

Some guys want a woman at home, the mother the cook the cleaner and she get as a homely person to look after him and his kid, while they look elsewhere for the excitement in their lives

How many times have you hear guys in clubs etc proclaim they would never take their wife's to a place like this but would quite happily go with the likes of us

Some just don't see their home maker as sexual beings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one knows why It doesn't bother you,apart from you!.

Try asking yourself,If indeed you care if she were to have her heart broken by this .

If you don't care about her feelings ,You don't love her and should leave her and get a life

.As a life without love is no kind of life.

For her or for you -

If you haven't ever cared for anything truly there is quite possibly something wrong with you ,Dont worry its very common on all walks of life ,if this is so , you cannot change that ,its a disability .

No matter how many people slag you off or call you names -you wont feel the feelings others do in quite the same way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if a guy was a shit rub and I didn't see any potential in him I wouldn't have a relationship with him.

I think it depends on what you want out of a relationship

Some guys want a woman at home, the mother the cook the cleaner and she get as a homely person to look after him and his kid, while they look elsewhere for the excitement in their lives

How many times have you hear guys in clubs etc proclaim they would never take their wife's to a place like this but would quite happily go with the likes of us

Some just don't see their home maker as sexual beings "

My ex of 10 years and the father of my child said to me he would not be able to see his baby coming out of me cos it would put him off sleeping with me again! As it happened we split up 3 months before I gave birth but managed to "soldier on" for one last performance and give me some sperm the day before I was due which got everything going!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had yet another guy message..normal chat on here...ask to whatsapp him..no he only has kik..can only do daytime meets....yup, you guessed married guy...grrrr

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Just had yet another guy message..normal chat on here...ask to whatsapp him..no he only has kik..can only do daytime meets....yup, you guessed married guy...grrrr"

You didn't actually read the nature of this thread then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you think if you found out your partner was fucking your mate

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By *isexmistressWoman
over a year ago

Prestwich

"your cheating on your gf and still using your couples account? get rid of the account and pics of her.

As for cheating, I suggest you leave her so she can find someone she deserves"

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By *isexmistressWoman
over a year ago

Prestwich

"I am curious... And also an asshoke I am sure...

I am cheating on my gf. I am aware it is morally reprehensible, culturally wrong and all the rest - you don't like it, I don't care.

What I am curious about is why it doesn't bother me.

I am happy in the relationship apart from the sex. I have now been having an affair for around a year - amazing, hot sex, kinky and just the way I like it.

Good friends with my fuck buddy and incredibly discrete.

What I don't get is why I don't feel guilty? And people have tried to make me feel guilty before so I wouldn't waste your breath with an angry rant.

Must people cheat because they are unhappy - and lack the courage to leave - I don't want to leave I just like the better sex...

Had a few drinks and contemplating this - was reading done psychology pages etc and wondered if other people ended up in similar situations? Or why other people cheat.

Evening!"

Not judging you but,poor her methinks..Not that you care

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Without reading the thread again, where does he say he has a couples account with his G/F?

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"What would you think if you found out your partner was fucking your mate

This was addressed earlier - if it was happening I probably would have arranged it!

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Without reading the thread again, where does he say he has a couples account with his G/F?"

It doesn't - people have a poor grasp of horror themed fiction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to agree with the poster that you may be a psychopath. I should go and speak to a councellor about the way you are feeling and try to understand why you are a bit cold about your lovely understanding partner.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

"Not quite sure where the couple's account came into things? My account here is a single male and unless you are particularly good a detective work I would really expect people to find my couples account (if you did you would find it is for my submissive and I)."

Although not too hard to find the account with the sub sir.

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

Although not too hard to find the account with the sub sir.

That is also true! Carlisle is a small place! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sociopath maybe but not psychopath. Maybe you need to think about how you would feel if she left you? If you wouldn't be at all bothered then you are not in the loving relationship you think you are and neither is she and soon she will smell the bullshit.

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

Although not too hard to find the account with the sub sir.

That is also true! Carlisle is a small place! Lol"

No need, just follow your verifications.

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By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Without reading the thread again, where does he say he has a couples account with his G/F?

It doesn't - people have a poor grasp of horror themed fiction."

Not all people i got it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There loads of people who are cheating on each other ,but mainly men ,Because there wife's or girlfriend s have gone of sex ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A monogamous sexual relationship is not a valid measure of love, caring and affection. If it was you could not love your parents, children, grandparents, friends, etc.

If you read the comment that mentioned psychopath, they did say weren't saying they were violent, only that traits for his behaviour were two traits from a psychopath

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By *urvybrunette91Woman
over a year ago

tidworth

OP - You don't care, because you are very self-absorbed and selfish. I doubt that your GF would be in a 'worse off position' without you. She may actually be in a happy relationship, which is satisfying and based on a mutual respect for each other. Instead she is with a lying, cheating, self absorbed ass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hey people!

The OP could be collecting _iews to write about after all. So, don't take it seriously

Check my profile! No, his I meant

;) I'm always after new ideas!"

Well your ideas and erotic writing must be shit.You been reading them 50 shades of shite books. You and your gf have tried loads of different things and still you find the need to cheat and lie if i was you i would stand in the mirror look at yourself ( give your head and ego a shake) and try HARDER to make things work with your gf

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"hey people!

The OP could be collecting _iews to write about after all. So, don't take it seriously

Check my profile! No, his I meant

;) I'm always after new ideas!

Oh damn - that's where I was going wrong! Thanks - looking at myself in the mirror fixed everything!

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"Without reading the thread again, where does he say he has a couples account with his G/F?

It doesn't - people have a poor grasp of horror themed fiction.

Not all people i got it

Thank you! Lol - it appears the intelligent comments came yesterday! (For the most part)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

op im getting a little lost just clear things up if you can...

you are cheating on a gf you say you love yet you cant make her cum during penetrarive sex. you have a sub who gushes for you and you love her too but she doesnt know your cheating correct so far?

now ive sensed your a bit of a control freak and a very good liar by all accounts, but why?

Why are you doing this to 2 women? If you love either woman you have to stop and come clean, for your mental state as well as theirs if you carry on you will be caught.

For the gf i think you are being selfish and you dnt love her at all you love the stability she brings.

For the sub (if she doesnt know abt your gf) i think your controlling attitude will knock her confidence as all what you have shared is based on lies.

you seem to be relishing the attention on here and im not going to be shocked if you have made all this up.

But your attitude towards women you proport to "love" is disgraceful! I concur sir you are indeed a cad!

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By *ordweaver2018 OP Man
over a year ago

Carlisle

"op im getting a little lost just clear things up if you can...

you are cheating on a gf you say you love yet you cant make her cum during penetrarive sex. you have a sub who gushes for you and you love her too but she doesnt know your cheating correct so far?

now ive sensed your a bit of a control freak and a very good liar by all accounts, but why?

Why are you doing this to 2 women? If you love either woman you have to stop and come clean, for your mental state as well as theirs if you carry on you will be caught.

For the gf i think you are being selfish and you dnt love her at all you love the stability she brings.

For the sub (if she doesnt know abt your gf) i think your controlling attitude will knock her confidence as all what you have shared is based on lies.

you seem to be relishing the attention on here and im not going to be shocked if you have made all this up.

But your attitude towards women you proport to "love" is disgraceful! I concur sir you are indeed a cad!

Gf does bring stability - for the most part and I do appreciate that. Sub knows about gf and is happy with the set up we have (there are a lot of reasons personal to her that aren't really relevant at this point).

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By *urvybrunette91Woman
over a year ago

tidworth

"Without reading the thread again, where does he say he has a couples account with his G/F?

It doesn't - people have a poor grasp of horror themed fiction.

Not all people i got it

Thank you! Lol - it appears the intelligent comments came yesterday! (For the most part)"

It may appear that way. Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. I am sure than a man of your age, who believes himself to be intelligent, could've worked out all of the above responses. Without needing to post an attention seeking thread.