FabSwingers.com forum: Nice wife but pushy fella...why?

By *layfulpairsx OP Couple
over a year ago

Southend

Why are there so many couples on here where the lady is lovely but the guy is pushy and won't back off. Then when told to ease off as the lady is uncomfortable gets arsey then blocks you. It's disheartening. Are men that unsophisticated?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never come across that so can't answer it really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its easy, ask the woman when hubby goes to work lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not everyone understands the simple concept of respect. That as much as we all like sex, just because it's a swinging site doesn't mean it can be a meat market.

Plus, you will likely find that there will always want to be some that feel the need to try and control others. This is their problem, not yours. As much as I sympathise with your dilemma, in my opinion, a couple are treated as one in their choices and the way they act. Unless they both agree over meets, and everything that goes on within that then it's a no go.

There are many good people in the community, you'll find them with perseverance.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Never come across that so can't answer it really.

Nor us. I imagine being blocked is a blessing except of course you can't tell them how you feel privately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its easy, ask the woman when hubby goes to work lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fortunately, we've only ever come across really pleasant and respctful couples on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest we have had it both ways.. We have had a woman that decided to ignore their own rules and actually pushed me away from my Mr so she could play...

So it works both ways....

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By *rettyLittleThingWoman
over a year ago

Swansea

When meeting other couples with my partner we tend to get an awful lot of the male on their side leading the chat and meets and it genuinely seeming like the female half isnt interested (I go out my way to speak to her but all i ever end up doing is speaking to him more so than her).

I dont know what it is, we as a whole are quite relaxed but when hes constantly flirting and just doing the talking and then female half isnt talking to me it is a bit of a put off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never really came across it to be honest but if we meet off here which we don't much we tend to arrange to meet in a club not into lots of back and forth with messages I tend to do the messaging as Gilly to be frank is really blunt she is a lot better in person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to come across this problem a lot - either at the messaging stage, which just kills my interest, or else at the bed stage when the guy gets all pushy as soon as he is aroused and turns into a bolshy nightmare -

It's happened to me so many times that I've rather given up on couples as a result... not by choice but because it's all just too much hassle to deal with.

I would like to play with couples, but it's a real and recurring problem that's made me very wary!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have you met a guy called Graham then? I won't give profile name as it's not allowed but let's just say he (and sadly his lovely wife won't be attending any future parties of mine or quite a number of my friends.

Think it comes from Viagra. Taken a couple of pills (can't perform otherwise) then demands he gets his monies worth from them....

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Can't say we have experienced this too often...

Surely if they made you feel uncomfortable, them blocking you is a good thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not happened to us either meet some really lovely people on here . But pushy is open to interprutation . Some may call it pushy some may call it being forward and some may says bloody horny

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By *layfulpairsx OP Couple
over a year ago

Southend

[Removed by poster at 31/03/15 18:33:50]

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By *layfulpairsx OP Couple
over a year ago

Southend

We think you need to judge your audience. Generally we think when in doubt don't push your luck. In our and especially his, experience if you let the lady lead it pays dividends longer term. You KNOW when a woman is really horny and you can push the envelope, but ONLY once trust has been built. Too often men just ignore all the negative responses from women and just steam ahead oblivious. In any other context you could argue it's indecent assault(which can be verbal as well as physical).

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By *rinhueCouple
over a year ago

Blackpool

We generally split the workload. Almost all new messages that come in are perused by both of us but answered by Ann, whereas I'll specifically look for couples from our 'looked at you' list, winks and friend requests. Chances are if you message us you'll get Ann, but if we message you it'll be me.

In an actual swinging situation I'm the more nervous of the two though, so Ann takes the lead. Early on she kind of forgot about me on a few occasions. Now, having played with women and with more of an interest in seeing me with another women, she's actively pursuing women for the first time.

I'll still be nervous, but she always takes charge in any sexual situation until i'm ready to take over.

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By *IkKiChRiSCouple
over a year ago

immingham

We've come across a few pushy couples on here so we just block and move on. There's nothing worse than it being planned military style before a first meet! BIG turnoff!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

". But pushy is open to interprutation . Some may call it pushy some may call it being forward and some may says bloody horny

Being forward is asking outright were as being pushy is asking getting told no and asking again in our opinion. We are not pushy people and even if we have a play meet planned we still treat it as just a social and don't expect anything else. Doesn't get you any where being pushy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When meeting other couples with my partner we tend to get an awful lot of the male on their side leading the chat and meets and it genuinely seeming like the female half isnt interested (I go out my way to speak to her but all i ever end up doing is speaking to him more so than her).

I dont know what it is, we as a whole are quite relaxed but when hes constantly flirting and just doing the talking and then female half isnt talking to me it is a bit of a put off."

We have found this to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are there so many couples on here where the lady is lovely but the guy is pushy and won't back off. Then when told to ease off as the lady is uncomfortable gets arsey then blocks you. It's disheartening. Are men that unsophisticated?"
We play together equally and we never push it. We come as a pair so if someone tries to divide and conquer then we walk away as a pair also.

People don't like that, we'll they know where the block button is. Won't see us crying about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've come across a few pushy couples on here so we just block and move on. There's nothing worse than it being planned military style before a first meet! BIG turnoff!! "
Here here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i need a bi sub female swing partner and a few meets to comment sorry ill get bck to you asap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this on a number of occasions. We're all getting on well and then he starts messaging all day, trying to push the meet date forward, making overtly sexual comments or wanting sexy chat. I end up saying I no longer want to meet which I'm sure makes me look like a twat in her eyes. I'd like to be able to explain why, but not sure if it would cause an argument between then so I just leave it at that.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Over eagerness perhaps, dunno really. We're not that way but probably because of our laid back approach to the scene, often wonder if our approach is bordering the sedate, far too chilled at times, lol.

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

A hell of a lot of men are total arseholes. I notice this more and more as I wander through life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A hell of a lot of men are total arseholes. I notice this more and more as I wander through life

Couldn't agree more. ( that's not a dig at you.)

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By *oward1978Man
over a year ago

Rotherham

"A hell of a lot of men are total arseholes. I notice this more and more as I wander through life

Couldn't agree more. ( that's not a dig at you.)"

No offence taken. Turns out I'm a pretty great guy, even if I do say so myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankfully I have only had the bad luck to speak with some, quite frankly horrible and egotistical numptys on a few occasions here.

I actually find it funny when people behave this way - it makes me feel better that I discover this early on and ensures that I don't waste my time further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is fairly easy to spot couples that don't play in equal terms to ours.

We have met couples where the ladies were less keen/vocal in social meets which has meant I (Miss T) have had to try really hard to talk to her which is not really fun. We have also had chaps that are like overexcited little bunnies that can't wait to show their incredible skills which is so off putting.

We just find it much more fun to be able to engage both partners when chatting on here and if we take it to a chat app. It doesn't take long to realise if there is only one driving force behind all the words.

Stay positive - you are not facing an uncommon situation x

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