FabSwingers.com forum: okay.. time for a discussion...profile advice giving

By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

how about we come to some of uniformity about the advice that is given...

for example... no specifics....

we see profiles that may have tell tells which may be no no's for a lot of people.... for example, bareback, married, ect ect.... and as soon as these are blurted out person removes them....

doesn't really help the people behind looking at the profile after because its then selective honesty...

pictures and things seen in pictures for example.... if they cant see why they may put people off, why should we have to point it out for them (file that one under basic common sense)

i'm all for being general... more pics/type of pics/more in profile ect/ you've only been here x weeks/patience/ think about what you are writing...

but i don't think information should be spoonfed to people (again filed under basic common sense) making their own way and individuality go a long long....

lets not turn it into template city because in the end that doesn't help anyone......

and discuss........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabio, you never fail to deliver on the common sense front.

I see it as two types of people seeking advice:

The new people trying to get established and the terminally lazy expecting instashag.

Guiding newbies to finding their own way is commendable and should be encouraged.

The remainder are looking for a quick fix.

If the plethora of where am I going wrong with my profile threads could be contained elsewhere, it would help.

You know yourself, some are veiled look at me. Some are blatant sarcasm look at me. Some are genuinely looking for advice and will act on it. Tricky to determine which is which.

The old hands get fatigued so give out the same general advice. This leads to generic profiles.

Best to let people find their own way. The savvy will learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Consider myself new, only being here since December. Currently going through a profile crisis in that it's constantly changing. There's a few people whom have noticed and given help to which I'm grateful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Advice is using your own experiences to help others. The important thing is to remember it is just advice and not a command. If you want to give it don't expect it to be followed every time,or at all. Don't complain that you keep giving the same advice over and over. If it's being ignored then stop contributing. Be aware that your advice won't be useful for everyone or possibly anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Consider myself new, only being here since December. Currently going through a profile crisis in that it's constantly changing. There's a few people whom have noticed and given help to which I'm grateful. "

That is good but remember their experience on here could be wildly different to what you want or will get. Don't be a clone,be yourself. Feel free to ignore my advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Advice is using your own experiences to help others. The important thing is to remember it is just advice and not a command. If you want to give it don't expect it to be followed every time,or at all. Don't complain that you keep giving the same advice over and over. If it's being ignored then stop contributing. Be aware that your advice won't be useful for everyone or possibly anyone. "

agree with this also is not part of the site to be seen by people who may be interested in a meet so cant see the harm with the look at me threads, yes some are more blatant than others but we all have the choice as to what we read and respond to on forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a profile should be about the person. Only the person knows themselve.

Id rather have a shit profile that explains me, Than be all fake

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I don't mind...

I am happy to give it.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and profile advice...

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

A profile isn't gospel

I prefer a phone call early on and that decides if I meet or not

Not whether they've ticked a box that says they love fisting

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"and profile advice..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I asked for some advice on my profile a while ago and I got some lovely helpful responses and a pm from a lovely lady too. So its not all bad on here, just that I know sometimes the requests are all the same type of thing, so its understandable that people get fedup.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

If you don't like the advice being dished out on profile advice threads don't read them.

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By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"If you don't like the advice being dished out on profile advice threads don't read them. "

thats not the point, being made....

its that by telling them specifics you make it harder for other people to work out if they are for them.....

for example. lets say if someone said they adored bareback...

them someone says..." bareback is a no no for a lot of people yuk yuk!!!" that person then takes that out of their profile...

that selective honest may help the person who removed it....... but it doesn't help the people who then look at the profile, because they never knew and it may be information that would have been used to make a more informed decision...

so it may be something to say for example ....."there are various things in your profile that may turn off people" without actually laying out what those things would be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP i think you have a really valid point as i have seen the removal of things from profiles after a thread post

i personal think peeps who do have things like loves bareback or male is bi bi curios is actually quite respectful of others as it highlights activities you may yourself find distasteful same with pics that show sexual activity without the use of protection that may help you make an informed decision on making contact

Personally i choose to avoid meeting if i see something on a profile i do not like the look of it doesnt mean the person (s) in that profile are bad people it just means they choose aspects of the swinging lifestyle i personally wish to avoid

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By *he tactile technicianMan
over a year ago

the good lands, the bad lands, the any where you may want me lands

Glad you've brought up the topic Fabio; even if none of it made anysense at all, must be the ex colonial in you...now I digress. Over the last couple of days my profile was hacked and some comedian amongst has gone to work....

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Surely a profile is about its author and what he/she can provide, personality and what he/she is seeking. So if the person cannot sell themselves, why should they expect others to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Browse - At other profiles for tips

Read - Other threads on the subject

Evolve - Your profile/pics overtime

Arrange - Meets/Socials club visits

Don't - Be abusive if they don't reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab the best thing since sliced bread

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By *apillonNoirWoman
over a year ago

There...

My profile has evolved over time. It gets refreshed from time to time and always reflects the 'real' me - the me that's on Fab anyway. It's all about what I want from the site and although I appreciate it cuts down (along with my filters) the number of messages I get, that's a good thing in my book. One line profiles, silhouettes and status updates saying things like 'bored' don't get responses if they've sent a message - especially if the subject line says something imaginative like 'x'...

I may miss out on a few gems but hey, that's life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Havn't you posted this before Fabio?

Christos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Problem is will people even notice this post to even take the advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you don't like the advice being dished out on profile advice threads don't read them.

thats not the point, being made....

its that by telling them specifics you make it harder for other people to work out if they are for them.....

for example. lets say if someone said they adored bareback...

them someone says..." bareback is a no no for a lot of people yuk yuk!!!" that person then takes that out of their profile...

so it may be something to say for example ....."there are various things in your profile that may turn off people" without actually laying out what those things would be"

A very good point, telling people specifically what's wrong with the profile when the author is being honest actually leads to a deceptive profile which the author thinks will appeal to more people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People be what they are and lack success.

So people become what others want them to be.

They get lost in the fog of trying to gain popularity. The most successful people represent themselves the best within their profile.

I would rather some block me for my profile, knowing that others I appeal to know exactly what they are getting. Not a bit of that profile or a line of another.

Me with all my faults and charm in equal measure!

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

i find that hardly any one actually bothers to read p

es anyway .

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"If you don't like the advice being dished out on profile advice threads don't read them.

thats not the point, being made....

its that by telling them specifics you make it harder for other people to work out if they are for them.....

for example. lets say if someone said they adored bareback...

them someone says..." bareback is a no no for a lot of people yuk yuk!!!" that person then takes that out of their profile...

so it may be something to say for example ....."there are various things in your profile that may turn off people" without actually laying out what those things would be"

It is the point being made. You don't agree that people should give specific advice because you think it makes it harder for people to find 'genuine' swingers etc

People like to give advise in terms of what they look for in a profile. That's never going to change. That's not to say that the people asking for advise have to make those changes and on fact they rarely do.

I rarely post on profile advise threads as my point have often been made several times over but I know that you do. This seems to be a bit of an issue for you, people asking for advise on their profile.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Advice is rarely taken up. It's more a sympathy shag attempt in many cases. A hiding to nothing in many cases.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely a profile is about its author and what he/she can provide, personality and what he/she is seeking. So if the person cannot sell themselves, why should they expect others to?"

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By *rank EinsteinMan
over a year ago

Burton upon stather

I still get the image of people asking for profile advice just to get visitors and then jacking off as the counter goes up and they think Yeeeeah I'm the man. I have no doubt that doesn't actually happen but it makes me giggle

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By *eithoWoman
over a year ago

Chatham

I'd rather people had profiles that reflected who they really are and what they like.

If you're lazy and unimaginative with a profile that says something simply like 'looking for fun' I'd rather it was left like that, helps to find someone who actually will make effort, with their profile and with me.

Mentions of bareback are irrelevant though, I assume everyone does it and I play safe. It's shocking the bumper of guys who state safe sex on profile and then ask to forget the condom mid play.

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