FabSwingers.com forum: Herpes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, just looking for a bit of guidance.A person I met on this site has herpes but is taking tablets so it prevents outbreaks,just wondering if people have gotten with people with genital herpes and if so can you give oral and if anyone has ever slept with anyone with herpes. Dont know if its worth the risk

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

The best thing would be to ask at your GUM clinic you would get accurate information there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt do oral with one that had herpes, but instead straight on to the action

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its only contagious during a breakout,and medication is very good...as above.ask at a GUM, and/or google....and ask him exactly what he's been advised...had a fling a few years ago with someone with herpes...got to be aware and careful,but its fine as long as you follow proper advice

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By *ugar1andspice2Couple
over a year ago

Leicester

U can not give or receive oral sex with a person who has herpes it is highly infectious and there is no cure once u get the virus u can only manage it when u have an outbreak so personally not worth the risk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The herpes virus can be spread just via contact, that can be through oral or touching and is similar to the same herpes complex that causes coldsore

Like cold sores, there's no treatment, once you have the virus, you have it for life. Treatment just manages the physical breakouts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why even risk it…..

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By *ordic36Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Why even risk it…..

According to wikipedia - Worldwide rates of either HSV-1 and/or HSV-2 are between 60 and 95% in adults.[9] HSV-1 is more common than HSV-2, with rates of both increasing as people age.[9] HSV-1 rates are between 70% and 80% in populations of low socioeconomic status and 40% to 60% in populations of improved socioeconomic status.

and further:

The virus cannot pass through a synthetic condom, but a male condom's effectiveness is limited[47] because herpes ulcers may appear on areas not covered by it. Neither type of condom prevents contact with the scrotum, anus, buttocks, or upper thighs, areas that may come in contact with ulcers or genital secretions during sexual activity.

So that means EVERY OTHER person you have sex with (and we're swingers so, it's a substantial number), already HAS herpes. And condoms will not guarantee anything this time. I'd say it's too late worrying about it now.

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By *ere-for-my-convenienceWoman
over a year ago

Tenbury Wells

"Why even risk it…..

and further:

Very good point

ignorance breeds fear

Knowledge is power

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why even risk it…..

exactly - how do you know if someone has herpes though? and is it only contagious when outbroken or all of the time.....this is making me scared now :O ....i have never had a cold sore in my life and don't want herpes OR cold sore ever...

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By *ordic36Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Why even risk it…..

No point of being scared. If you have herpes that means it does not display any symptoms on you and life goes on just as it has always gone before. If you still havent got it despite all the sex u have had... why should the chances of getting it now be any different?

We carry lot of potentially dangerous things in our bodies all the time - but we can't just give into fear of them or there will be no joy of living your life.

Every 6th person on planet is the carrier of tuberculosis, we all have e.coli living in our arse which, when exposed to urethra can give us urethritis if were lucky or inflammation that can go all the way to the ovaries if you're not doing anything about it. There are tons of other microorganisms who'd love to have our body fcked up...IF we'd let them. Just can't worry about all of them.

Might as well just live your life and enjoy as long as you can.

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By *isexmistressWoman
over a year ago

Prestwich

Herpes is for life...

Way too many people dont take care of their own sexual health and pass it (and other nasties) on without a care in the world..

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By *ordic36Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"Herpes is for life...

Way too many people dont take care of their own sexual health and pass it (and other nasties) on without a care in the world..

True, and the only effective measure against herpes is abstinence. Sucks, huh?

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By *inkxRabbitWoman
over a year ago

Mostly in GU24

I'd keep well away. Herpes is dangerous if a woman had an outbreak when she's about to give birth. You don't want herpes anywhere, let alone your eyes. Steer clear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.....and most of us probably already have it without knowing....

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By *rmagiteMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Here is the thing... if your parents have it.. then your most likely going to.. because tell me when a parent didn't kiss thier baby?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

As you can see op the advice you've been given varies, my original post stands for impartial and accurate information speak to the staff at your GUM.

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By *adysueandneroCouple
over a year ago

witney

Having oral sex with someone is a good way to check if they have genital herpes as the blisters and sores will be very visible. If you see anything suspicious just say no.

But the best advice is to look it up yourself and not just take for granted what other people say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi, just looking for a bit of guidance.A person I met on this site has herpes but is taking tablets so it prevents outbreaks,just wondering if people have gotten with people with genital herpes and if so can you give oral and if anyone has ever slept with anyone with herpes. Dont know if its worth the risk"

Why would anyone knowingly sleep with someone with herpes?

If you have any STI it is advised to stop any sexual contact till treatment is finished and the condition is cleared up

No clinic going will say its fine to have sexual contact while having herpes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having oral sex with someone is a good way to check if they have genital herpes as the blisters and sores will be very visible. If you see anything suspicious just say no.

But the best advice is to look it up yourself and not just take for granted what other people say. "

This is no guarantee as the virus can be active and present on the skin for a number of days before there are physical signs of an outbreak

As said - go to GUM for advice

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

There's a shed load of misinformation, ignorance and scare mongearing on this thread.

Go and do some proper research to find the truth, it's all out there, some of which IS on this thread.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I get a cold sore on my lip now and then.. I do not have genital herpes.

I never kiss nor do I give oral sex when I get a cold sore but am not contagious at any other time.

I think sense would show when people have an outbreak then avoid sex or use barrier methods.

check with a GUM clinic

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By *MaleMan
over a year ago

First port of call for me whatever would be the GUM clinic

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By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

The danger is during outbreaks. Any visible sores and no sex should be taking place, just to be on the safe side. But as mentioned, talk to the nurses at the GUM clinic. You can still enjoy sex as long as you have the facts and play safe. Plus, outbreaks vary for different peopleand usually become more sporadic after time.

Good luck.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

im not 100% sure but if a bloke has a cold sore I think it can pass to the woman as genital herpes

the medication is only taken when the sores blister I think ask at GUM clinic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would never risk my health for a shag, even if infection rates are low and condoms still used, no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wellif it makes you happier.

I would turn someone down who had a cold ,

You only get one body look after it and don't take chances with it

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Interesting fact - they can also mutate.

I saw a herpes with his foot caught in a railway track. Just before he got mashed by the incoming train I heard him shout 'oh fuck I'm a gonorrhoea'

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I don't need to empty my scrotum that much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There has to be a website for people with herpes by now, right?

If not then I'll make it and make MILLIONS mwahahahahahahaha

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"Why even risk it…..

As stated on this thread ... The virus is only contagious during an outbreak. The ulcers are obvious and painful. I doubt if the sufferer would want to have sex at this time. However, it's always worth having a good look at what you're playing with!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There has to be a website for people with herpes by now, right?

If not then I'll make it and make MILLIONS mwahahahahahahaha

There are sites yeah, and AIDS and many other STDs.

Don't think i'd risk getting herpes myself, sounds really painful and itchy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think i'd risk getting herpes myself, sounds really painful and itchy."
then I presume you'll be having no physical contact with anyone...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging can be a scary thing if you aren't aware of what's out there. It always pays to do your research before deciding whether it's for you or not. Did you know for instance that 80-90% of sexually active adults have the HPV virus? I'd guess as swingers we'd be at the top end of that percentage!!

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

"There has to be a website for people with herpes by now, right?

If not then I'll make it and make MILLIONS mwahahahahahahaha

There are sites yeah, and AIDS and many other STDs.

Don't think i'd risk getting herpes myself, sounds really painful and itchy."

You may have it already.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't think i'd risk getting herpes myself, sounds really painful and itchy. then I presume you'll be having no physical contact with anyone...

I definitely wouldn't go with anyone who has sores.

I probably have the face virus anyway, my sisters have both had symptoms and so has my ex, i've never had any symptoms though and nobody has said anything during tests, not sure if they test for that virus though.

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By *adysueandneroCouple
over a year ago

witney

The only way to be sure you won't get the herpes virus is to stop having sex. Even using condoms won't protect you.

But lets get real folks. It's not a death sentance.

There will be people on here that have the virus who will be feeling like lepers after reading some of the comments by uninformed people.

And before anyone asks. Neither of us has it. We just feel sorry for the unfortunate people that do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Swinging can be a scary thing if you aren't aware of what's out there. It always pays to do your research before deciding whether it's for you or not. Did you know for instance that 80-90% of sexually active adults have the HPV virus? I'd guess as swingers we'd be at the top end of that percentage!!"

Do you mean HSV? Herpes Simplex Virus or HPV,Human papilloma virus? Completely different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

BTW you can be vaccinated against HPV, so it will become less widespread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genital herpes is caused by a herpes simplex virus (type 1 or type 2) – nearly everyone (70%) will catch at least one type, sooner or later so get it on bang a gong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mean HSV? Herpes Simplex Virus or HPV,Human papilloma virus? Completely different things

HPV,Human papilloma virus. I know they are different things but mentioned it as it's another STI that a lot will have but not necessarily show the symptoms of a indeed won't know they have.

Sorry was maybe a little off topic.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BTW you can be vaccinated against HPV, so it will become less widespread

Not if you already have it you can't and when I looked at the statistics if you are already active then chances are it's a useless vaccination.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's so much bollocks being spouted on this thread. Ever had a coldsore? You have the herpes virus. An even larger proportion of the population carry it without getting symptoms. There's a difference between HSV type 1 and 2. If you're worried, educate yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BTW you can be vaccinated against HPV, so it will become less widespread

Not if you already have it you can't and when I looked at the statistics if you are already active then chances are it's a useless vaccination."

Yes, I understand that. All teenage girls are offered vaccination as a routine. So in a couple of generations it will be rare wax the point I was making. Vaccination is not a treatment its a prophylactic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's so much bollocks being spouted on this thread. Ever had a coldsore? You have the herpes virus. An even larger proportion of the population carry it without getting symptoms. There's a difference between HSV type 1 and 2. If you're worried, educate yourself. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why even risk it…..

If you're scared, you should probably never have sex again. Or kiss anyone, for that matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BTW you can be vaccinated against HPV, so it will become less widespread

Not if you already have it you can't and when I looked at the statistics if you are already active then chances are it's a useless vaccination.

Ah ok got you now, sorry if I misunderstood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would anyone knowingly sleep with someone with herpes?

If you have any STI it is advised to stop any sexual contact till treatment is finished and the condition is cleared up

No clinic going will say its fine to have sexual contact while having herpes "

Herpes is NEVER cleared up tho. If you get it you get it FOREVER. Though symptoms /outbreaks may be sporadic and rare and you are only contagious during an outbreak.

As has been pointed out above....and I have just checked the stats, very large numbers of people have the virus. According to WHO it is up to 70% of population. However many are asymptomatic so never know they have it.

Basically of each 10 people posting here, or reading this 7 of us/you have it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would anyone knowingly sleep with someone with herpes?

If you have any STI it is advised to stop any sexual contact till treatment is finished and the condition is cleared up

No clinic going will say its fine to have sexual contact while having herpes

Herpes is NEVER cleared up tho. If you get it you get it FOREVER. Though symptoms /outbreaks may be sporadic and rare and you are only contagious during an outbreak.

Basically of each 10 people posting here, or reading this 7 of us/you have it!

Probably higher amongst swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the ignorance astounds me sometimes....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the ignorance astounds me sometimes...."

It kind of scares me that sexually active adults can be so ignorant of facts about sexual health

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the ignorance astounds me sometimes....

It kind of scares me that sexually active adults can be so ignorant of facts about sexual health

I try my best....But I'm northern.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her"

You could still have it and be asymptomatic. As could many, many people you've met before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her"

Jeez...it doesn't mean that you don't have it! Many are blissfully unaware....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her

Jeez...it doesn't mean that you don't have it! Many are blissfully unaware...."

I don't have it, I've been tested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her

Jeez...it doesn't mean that you don't have it! Many are blissfully unaware....

I don't have it, I've been tested"

Each time you go for screening? Our GUM would only test if you have symptoms. Looks like we get a raw deal in salisbury.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her

Jeez...it doesn't mean that you don't have it! Many are blissfully unaware....

I don't have it, I've been tested

Each time you go for screening? Our GUM would only test if you have symptoms. Looks like we get a raw deal in salisbury."

Some things can't be tested until the symptoms show...apparently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her

Jeez...it doesn't mean that you don't have it! Many are blissfully unaware....

I don't have it, I've been tested

Each time you go for screening? Our GUM would only test if you have symptoms. Looks like we get a raw deal in salisbury.

Some things can't be tested until the symptoms show...apparently."

That is what I was told at my local GUM.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her

Jeez...it doesn't mean that you don't have it! Many are blissfully unaware....

I don't have it, I've been tested

Each time you go for screening? Our GUM would only test if you have symptoms. Looks like we get a raw deal in salisbury.

Some things can't be tested until the symptoms show...apparently.

That is what I was told at my local GUM."

Not just Salisbury. It's not routinely tested for unless you have symptoms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I've never had a cold sore. If my mum has one, I don't kiss her

Jeez...it doesn't mean that you don't have it! Many are blissfully unaware....

I don't have it, I've been tested

Each time you go for screening? Our GUM would only test if you have symptoms. Looks like we get a raw deal in salisbury.

Some things can't be tested until the symptoms show...apparently.

That is what I was told at my local GUM.

Not just Salisbury. It's not routinely tested for unless you have symptoms."

I've been tested for it but was told I couldn't be tested for HPV!! apparently there is no test until the symptoms show.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont know if it is worth the risk? seriously? you have just proberly lost any fans

Her

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Ever had chickenpox? That's just another herpes virus (VZV/zoster).

HSV1 and 2 might be oral, from a kiss.

Not a herpes but glandular fever hides itself away and can be passed on. It was called the kissing disease for a reason. So all of you with kissing is a must on your profiles you'd better make sure you're clear and everyone you come into contact with is too.

If you see a raw or open sore anywhere don't stick your most delicate tissue or excretions anywhere near it. That bit is simple.

Not everyone will know they are carrying so you can only protect yourself so far.

At the risk of reducing my meets even further I have herpes: I get cold sores and I have had chickenpox!

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ever had chickenpox? That's just another herpes virus (VZV/zoster).

HSV1 and 2 might be oral, from a kiss.

If you see a raw or open sore anywhere don't stick your most delicate tissue or excretions anywhere near it. That bit is simple.

Not everyone will know they are carrying so you can only protect yourself so far.

At the risk of reducing my meets even further I have herpes: I get cold sores and I have had chickenpox!

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

I've got a radiation suit and the plague.......Up for it if you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A male family member of mine was dating a woman last year, a few weeks (and shags) into the relationship she told him her ex had given her herpes, but that she'd only ever had one outbreak. He freaked a bit and went to the GUM clinic to get checked and for advice, he was told that there is no reliable test available to test if you have herpes unless you are symptomatic (have an outbreak of sores). He was basically told that with the number of women he's slept with it is highly probable he already has herpes and is a carrier. He made the decision to keep seeing her (they practiced safe sex anyway, but he did say he did oral), and they were together for about 8 months, she didnt have an outbreak in that time, and he's never shown any symptoms since.

In your situation I think its great that she's been upfront with you about it, so as others have said, it gives you a chance to get some impartial advice from your gum clinic and make a decision based on that

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Ever had chickenpox? That's just another herpes virus (VZV/zoster).

HSV1 and 2 might be oral, from a kiss.

If you see a raw or open sore anywhere don't stick your most delicate tissue or excretions anywhere near it. That bit is simple.

Not everyone will know they are carrying so you can only protect yourself so far.

At the risk of reducing my meets even further I have herpes: I get cold sores and I have had chickenpox!

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

I've got a radiation suit and the plague.......Up for it if you are

Bubonic?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ever had chickenpox? That's just another herpes virus (VZV/zoster).

HSV1 and 2 might be oral, from a kiss.

If you see a raw or open sore anywhere don't stick your most delicate tissue or excretions anywhere near it. That bit is simple.

Not everyone will know they are carrying so you can only protect yourself so far.

At the risk of reducing my meets even further I have herpes: I get cold sores and I have had chickenpox!

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

I've got a radiation suit and the plague.......Up for it if you are

Bubonic?"

No not Bubonic...Have you seen The Stand?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

I've got a radiation suit and the plague.......Up for it if you are

Bubonic?

No not Bubonic...Have you seen The Stand?"

No. Should I be worried? Will my bubble suit protect me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

I've got a radiation suit and the plague.......Up for it if you are

Bubonic?

No not Bubonic...Have you seen The Stand?

No. Should I be worried? Will my bubble suit protect me?

You should be fine! The pustules are pretty stable if you don't get too rigorous

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

I've got a radiation suit and the plague.......Up for it if you are

Bubonic?

No not Bubonic...Have you seen The Stand?

No. Should I be worried? Will my bubble suit protect me?

You should be fine! The pustules are pretty stable if you don't get too rigorous

Perhaps I should wear an inflatable Sumo suit over my bubble suit, just to be safe.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Wrap up in a bubble suit and have virtual contact only with the rest of the world.

I've got a radiation suit and the plague.......Up for it if you are

Bubonic?

No not Bubonic...Have you seen The Stand?

No. Should I be worried? Will my bubble suit protect me?

You should be fine! The pustules are pretty stable if you don't get too rigorous

Perhaps I should wear an inflatable Sumo suit over my bubble suit, just to be safe.

The squeaking will be epic!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I think I may just never have sex again!

Mind you, I seem to be doing a pretty good job of not having sex without meaning not to.

This life business is dangerous. Fatal, even!

I'm going back to bed and I'm staying there!

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I think I may just never have sex again!

Mind you, I seem to be doing a pretty good job of not having sex without meaning not to.

This life business is dangerous. Fatal, even!

I'm going back to bed and I'm staying there!

Don't do that! The research indicates spending too long in bed can lead to an increased chance of stroke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I may just never have sex again!

Mind you, I seem to be doing a pretty good job of not having sex without meaning not to.

This life business is dangerous. Fatal, even!

I'm going back to bed and I'm staying there!

Make sure you wear Pjs. I got the clap from bed bugs once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I may just never have sex again!

Mind you, I seem to be doing a pretty good job of not having sex without meaning not to.

This life business is dangerous. Fatal, even!

I'm going back to bed and I'm staying there!

Don't do that! The research indicates spending too long in bed can lead to an increased chance of stroke.

And statistically more people die in bed than anywhere else!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I think I may just never have sex again!

Mind you, I seem to be doing a pretty good job of not having sex without meaning not to.

This life business is dangerous. Fatal, even!

I'm going back to bed and I'm staying there!

Don't do that! The research indicates spending too long in bed can lead to an increased chance of stroke.

Oh oh, choices!

I can't decide between denying that "too long in bed" is a possible concept and making some smutty comment about it usually being in bed that I stroke myself.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I think I may just never have sex again!

Mind you, I seem to be doing a pretty good job of not having sex without meaning not to.

This life business is dangerous. Fatal, even!

I'm going back to bed and I'm staying there!

Don't do that! The research indicates spending too long in bed can lead to an increased chance of stroke.

And statistically more people die in bed than anywhere else!"

Well, since I've now given up sex and I'm on a diet so chocolate is forbidden too, what is left to live for?

*sighs in a melodramatic fashion*

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By *ordic36Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Well, since I've now given up sex and I'm on a diet so chocolate is forbidden too, what is left to live for?

*sighs in a melodramatic fashion*"

I'd recommend cuddling but I don't know anyone who's into just cuddling.

Tried an all-night cuddling yesterday but the chemistry grew soo intense we couldnt't stick to just cuddling. So - cant recommend myself for the job.

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