FabSwingers.com forum: Soft & hard swap!

By *nterracial2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Ribble Valley

So, imagine the scenario, you're a couple in a Soft swap, it's just soft swap to start with, but half gets hard, the other two stay soft, and don't go any further!

Has this happened to anyone else?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If soft is a pre-agreed boundary then no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/02/15 21:54:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never, never that would be a total abuse of trust, stick to the agreed levels of play, always.....

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By *nterracial2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Ribble Valley

Thanks, we were discussing soft play, and that came up as a what if! Guess we need to let our inhibitions down or we'll never get up to much.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks, we were discussing soft play, and that came up as a what if! Guess we need to let our inhibitions down or we'll never get up to much."

Do exactly what you want to do and go at your own pace, if you want to chat PM us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks, we were discussing soft play, and that came up as a what if! Guess we need to let our inhibitions down or we'll never get up to much."

Your opening post isn;t about inhibitions. It's about boundaries and they are very different

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By *nterracial2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Ribble Valley

Our inhibitions are caused by the fear of a breakdown of boundaries!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our inhibitions are caused by the fear of a breakdown of boundaries!"

Boundaries are there to be broken !

If you are happy with your relationship tthen you will enjoy breaking them down together

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By *earlyNipsCouple
over a year ago

St Neots

Boundaries are there to be broken !

OP is talking about it happening in the moment.

Sure it's good to stretch boundries together, but doing it on the fly while playing without any prior discussion is the worst time to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/02/15 10:40:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boundaries are there to be broken !

OP is talking about it happening in the moment.

Sure it's good to stretch boundries together, but doing it on the fly while playing without any prior discussion is the worst time to do it. "

Agree with you to a point .

I did say if their relationship was strong , and they must have discussed it to post on here .

After 3 years of swinging we have loved pushing our boundaries , and we continue to do so now

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple
over a year ago

bradford

So did you and your partner stay soft swap or did one of you stray to hard swap

Bit confused

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It shouldn't happen in a pre - arranged and well planned meet, that's not to say it doesn't of course!

If you guys only want soft swap then you have your reasons and they are as valid as a couple who wants full swap. If you meet a couple who are full swap generally then it needs to be made very clear that that isn't your thing!

I've met both. Both are equally fun (to me anyway) as I find and meet people that I like so I personally am always happy to stick to whatever boundaries there are.

I never meet without a social 1st so I can judge (as best you can) the people I am meeting. If I was in doubt after that then I just wouldn't meet them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met with s couple once in a club who were told that we only wanted soft swap that night for our own reasons, chatted away, was fine. But the male half of theirs didn't really understand, and was very dominant about what he wanted. He tried it on, I brushed it off.mtried again and I had to pretty much tell him no to his face. He goes off in a huff calling me frigid and calling gav chubby and this and that...

Do we care? Not really. We laid out the ground rules beforehand and he broke them. That makes him the jack ass.

Rules are there to be followed and not Brock in this scene, all because you need to TRUST who you play with. Does that mean a soft swap night can't turn into a full swap night? No, of course not. But communication is key guys, not just trying to stick your dick inside somebody without even saying anything. C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Boundaries are there to be broken !

OP is talking about it happening in the moment.

Sure it's good to stretch boundries together, but doing it on the fly while playing without any prior discussion is the worst time to do it. "

I agree. To me the difference between full and hard swap is far more than pushing boundaries.

Although to be honest my interpretations of the OP's posts is that having agreed soft swap they don't trust their partner enough to respect those boundaries. To me that's not a healthy way to swing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We met with s couple once in a club who were told that we only wanted soft swap that night for our own reasons, chatted away, was fine. But the male half of theirs didn't really understand, and was very dominant about what he wanted. He tried it on, I brushed it off.mtried again and I had to pretty much tell him no to his face. He goes off in a huff calling me frigid and calling gav chubby and this and that...

We had a very similar meet once. We prefer full swap but will happily soft swap. Arranged to meet a couple at a club who's profile said soft but had told us they wanted full. We were chatting and getting on fine and then she told me that they weren't sure about full. Okay, no massive drama. Byt tgen suggested me and her should soft swap wile crystal and her partner full swap as apparently he'd get jealous seeing her fucked but I wouldn't mind seeing crystal fucked as we were full swap. We said we weren't interested and in their mind sonehow I (not we) was being totally unreasonable and selfish in not going along with their plans

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus! Some people, this is why we have mutual play etc on our profile, cannot believe someone would do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had several similar experiences and chats with couples. tbh this is why we don't meet M/F couples at all.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

Boundaries are there to be broken !

OP is talking about it happening in the moment.

Sure it's good to stretch boundries together, but doing it on the fly while playing without any prior discussion is the worst time to do it. "

100% agree with this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Since we started 6 months ago we have always said soft swap, because A has not felt she was ready nor had met the right people. I on the other hand would have gone further, and made sure A knows this, but have respected the lesser of the two as that is the trustworthy thing to do.

This weekend we met a couple at a club and the chemistry was instant. A quietly told me she wanted to extend the boundaries to new levels. We agreed and had the most amazing full swap night!

Respect boundaries and be patient with yourselves is the answer in our book.

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By *oci1Couple
over a year ago

Trim

We started as soft swap and kept to just that until recently.(no regrets) our advice would be do what makes you comfortable communication is vital .though myself miss toci is and don't think I will ever be anything only soft swap but loved watching mr t doing full

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By *UN TIME COUPLECouple
over a year ago

redditch

We've been a soft swap couple for some time now only reason being we tried full swap once an had a bad experience with it so even though i have no issues playing touching giving oral to a guy or even my hubby the same with a female i wont take another mans cock inside me its strange to say i can do that to a guy but wont have him inside me i have my reasons

We've had plenty of fun on our swinging jorney an people have had fun with us too its all about how comfy an relaxed you all are having fun not bieng forced or told to do something when you dont want too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We've been a soft swap couple for some time now only reason being we tried full swap once an had a bad experience with it so even though i have no issues playing touching giving oral to a guy or even my hubby the same with a female i wont take another mans cock inside me its strange to say i can do that to a guy but wont have him inside me i have my reasons

It's interesting how people have different ways of having fun. Personally I-the male half-will not fuck another woman, and tbh don't really enjoy oral from them, but will give and play etc. Yet I love N to play full with other couples and singles. Part of this is my own extreme aversion to condoms, so it massively limits play, but it shows it takes all sorts.

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By *UN TIME COUPLECouple
over a year ago

redditch

Dont get me wrong i enjoy pleasing a guy an a woman as well as watching my fella please a female considering when we 1st got into this i would'nt even let a guy near me lol things change but as for the full swap im more than happy keeping it soft its just our bit of fun for each other but can also understand other people have different ways/rules etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont get me wrong i enjoy pleasing a guy an a woman as well as watching my fella please a female considering when we 1st got into this i would'nt even let a guy near me lol things change but as for the full swap im more than happy keeping it soft its just our bit of fun for each other but can also understand other people have different ways/rules etc "

Yes, it's so not the case that there is one type of swinger single or couple. There are many different approaches. Personally I'm a very confident man in real life, and due to some previous infedlities am aware I can 'pull' plenty of nice looking ladies, just in this realm of my life I feel different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We started off not knowing what we wanted and enjoyed sponenaity . As time went on Sabrina loved attention from men and women and really loved giving her all so i happily agreed this was cool .

I realised iwas more satisfied after a more voyeuristic night of fun and Ii also hate condoms .

So whether i play or not is inconsequential to our fun , and Sabrina can do as much as she likes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We started off not knowing what we wanted and enjoyed sponenaity . As time went on Sabrina loved attention from men and women and really loved giving her all so i happily agreed this was cool .

I realised iwas more satisfied after a more voyeuristic night of fun and Ii also hate condoms .

So whether i play or not is inconsequential to our fun , and Sabrina can do as much as she likes

What he said, exchange Natalie for Sabrina and that's spot on.

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By *nterracial2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Ribble Valley

This never happens to us, but we have been talking about the idea of soft swap, and that's one thing that freaked us out was what if one lot suddenly got into the full swing all of a sudden!

We're not breaking down any pre agreements, but just wondering if this happens and if so, how do you deal with it, as it's pretty much a breakdown of trust! Just scared us a bit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This never happens to us, but we have been talking about the idea of soft swap, and that's one thing that freaked us out was what if one lot suddenly got into the full swing all of a sudden!

We're not breaking down any pre agreements, but just wondering if this happens and if so, how do you deal with it, as it's pretty much a breakdown of trust! Just scared us a bit!"

Just be clear with people as lots of people have different definitions of soft swap, ours is no fucking other people, everything else is cool, as long as your clear should never be an issue, we have 3 rules with everyone we meet

DO WE LIKE THEM?

DO WE FANCY THEM?

DO WE TRUST THEM?

if the answer is yes to all 3 then you should be fine, just go with your gut instinct and you'll be fine x

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"Since we started 6 months ago we have always said soft swap, because A has not felt she was ready nor had met the right people. I on the other hand would have gone further, and made sure A knows this, but have respected the lesser of the two as that is the trustworthy thing to do.

This weekend we met a couple at a club and the chemistry was instant. A quietly told me she wanted to extend the boundaries to new levels. We agreed and had the most amazing full swap night!

Respect boundaries and be patient with yourselves is the answer in our book."

If you don't want to start out full swap then the above is a very sensible approach. We enjoy full swap but don't always have full penetrative sex with the person we are with because we are enjoying everything else so much.

Him

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By *ayandess1Couple
over a year ago

bridgwater

Yes this has happened to us.

We started soft and as the evening drew on and we got mire and more into it, it was decided that we should full swap.

Problem was the husband of the other couple got a case of the nerves and couldnt get it up.

I ended up fucking both women that night (with his blessing of course).

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By *lwaysup4it69Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield

"Yes this has happened to us.

We started soft and as the evening drew on and we got mire and more into it, it was decided that we should full swap.

Problem was the husband of the other couple got a case of the nerves and couldnt get it up.

I ended up fucking both women that night (with his blessing of course). "

I guess for us it's always been easy we both wanted to push the boundaries from the start and we decided full swap was what we wanted and we love seeing each other doing everything with other people. Trust is key for sure

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