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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

want to, unsure of, shy and a little anxious about the whole thing, but i wish to make my partner happy.

She is bi sexual, bi curious... i dunno what it is, but i do feel a little selfish by expecting her to remain with me and deny her self the pleasures that she rightly deserves.

how do you get started, how do you get comfortable with the whole situation?

Help and input required? unsure of what to expect or how to get started??

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"want to, unsure of, shy and a little anxious about the whole thing, but i wish to make my partner happy.

She is bi sexual, bi curious... i dunno what it is, but i do feel a little selfish by expecting her to remain with me and deny her self the pleasures that she rightly deserves.

how do you get started, how do you get comfortable with the whole situation?

Help and input required? unsure of what to expect or how to get started??"

I'm new to this too...only been on here a couple of weeks, though Paul has got a few years experience..

I think it's important that you and your wife are both honest with each other about what you want from this and about how it makes you feel...take it one step at a time and keep talking to each other about it...

Most important thing is to enjoy the experience...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"want to, unsure of, shy and a little anxious about the whole thing, but i wish to make my partner happy.

She is bi sexual, bi curious... i dunno what it is, but i do feel a little selfish by expecting her to remain with me and deny her self the pleasures that she rightly deserves.

how do you get started, how do you get comfortable with the whole situation?

Help and input required? unsure of what to expect or how to get started??

I'm new to this too...only been on here a couple of weeks, though Paul has got a few years experience..

I think it's important that you and your wife are both honest with each other about what you want from this and about how it makes you feel...take it one step at a time and keep talking to each other about it...

Most important thing is to enjoy the experience... "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

she tells me good things about myself, trying to build up my confidence and my self esteem i think.

She keeps telling me i can do what i want, main thing is its not cheating if she's present..

How does iot make you feel, the whole experience?

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"she tells me good things about myself, trying to build up my confidence and my self esteem i think.

She keeps telling me i can do what i want, main thing is its not cheating if she's present..

How does iot make you feel, the whole experience?"

So far...so good...We've been having so much fun...Paul has got a real kick out of seeing me enjoying myself...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thats what i want, i want to see her enjoy herself and continue to explore her bi side, i feel a little selfish to say you cant and not support her decision that she wishes,

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

You should consider visiting some clubs eg Cupids on Wednesday Couples night, or Amour or whatever takes your fancy.You don't have to do anything you don't want to.

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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago

huddersfield/manchester

Im visiting Cupids on Thursday 12th. Happy to meet up with first timers. No expectations.I remember my first time as a single male. Very daunting but great once you get inside!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to be sure that you are both going into swinging with your eyes wide open. That you are both happy to do it. Not just you wanting to do it for your partner.swinging is a thing that will either make u or break you and your relationship. Myself and my husband who have been together almost 17 years were very unsure at first but now we are stronger than we have ever been . Good luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"want to, unsure of, shy and a little anxious about the whole thing, but i wish to make my partner happy.

She is bi sexual, bi curious... i dunno what it is, but i do feel a little selfish by expecting her to remain with me and deny her self the pleasures that she rightly deserves.

how do you get started, how do you get comfortable with the whole situation?

Help and input required? unsure of what to expect or how to get started??"

In a word; talking.

You have to be open and honest with each other. Talk it all through.

Then you could go to a club and get talking with some other couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most important thing is communication, there will be a lot of difficult conversations but I'm guessing you've already had the first big one!

You'll both find there are times when you think "they don't need to know that, it'll just hurt them". You need to be brave enough to push past that and be totally transparent, however hard it is. Good luck, it's still a journey that we're slowly making x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

PS The first time I slept with somebody else I cried my eyes out afterwards - it does get easier with lots of reassurance from your partner and other couples x

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"You need to be sure that you are both going into swinging with your eyes wide open. That you are both happy to do it. Not just you wanting to do it for your partner.swinging is a thing that will either make u or break you and your relationship. Myself and my husband who have been together almost 17 years were very unsure at first but now we are stronger than we have ever been . Good luck xxx"

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By *organ and rob zombieCouple
over a year ago

bradford

As Rachael has already said

Talk talk talk

I know your newly married, but is the relationship quite new???

If so, slowly, slowly, no rush for anything

Talk about fears expectations any concerns

Be prepared if possible, for things not always to be how you imagined it!!!

Reality and fantasy are quite different

To be honest I'd have a club visit 1st, arranging a meet on here could be difficult and awkward at 1st

Good luck

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

[Removed by poster at 11/02/15 10:53:25]

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"As Rachael has already said

Talk talk talk

I know your newly married, but is the relationship quite new???

If so, slowly, slowly, no rush for anything

Talk about fears expectations any concerns

Be prepared if possible, for things not always to be how you imagined it!!!

Reality and fantasy are quite different

To be honest I'd have a club visit 1st, arranging a meet on here could be difficult and awkward at 1st

Good luck "

Totally agree with this advice. We also recommend a club as a good place to start - no pressure to do anything you don't want to do and plenty of opportunity to watch others. Also never give anything a try that both of you are not entirely comfortable with, particularly if one of you is doing it just to please the other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You say you are new to swinging and yet you have been a member of the site for over a year, so I don't really understand

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By *parkybunnyCouple
over a year ago

Zurich. NOT London.


"You say you are new to swinging and yet you have been a member of the site for over a year, so I don't really understand "

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"You say you are new to swinging and yet you have been a member of the site for over a year, so I don't really understand "

We talked about swinging for years before we finally dipped our toes in (now we're fully submerged!). Perhaps they are in the same situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and I have sat chatting with several newbie couples in clubs. Most people are happy to chat. The "are you here to fuck or not" type of people are very rare.

We all started as newbies once and we all remember how that felt.

If you go to a club and decide it's not for you, then that's fine.

Perhaps you won't do anything but talk and watch for your first few visits. Perhaps you may just play together in a locked room. Or in an area where you can be seen.

Or you might walk in and all your worries drop away. That's what happened to us. Our favourite club, chams, (hence the logo tattooed on my ass) made us feel so welcome and it was like entering a new world. Playing just came naturally for us.

We keep talking all the time even now. Communication is key.

Good luck.

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester


"My wife and I have sat chatting with several newbie couples in clubs. Most people are happy to chat. The "are you here to fuck or not" type of people are very rare.

We all started as newbies once and we all remember how that felt.

If you go to a club and decide it's not for you, then that's fine.

Perhaps you won't do anything but talk and watch for your first few visits. Perhaps you may just play together in a locked room. Or in an area where you can be seen.

Or you might walk in and all your worries drop away. That's what happened to us. Our favourite club, chams, (hence the logo tattooed on my ass) made us feel so welcome and it was like entering a new world. Playing just came naturally for us.

We keep talking all the time even now. Communication is key.

Good luck. "

What a wonderful answer

Him

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

we've been together 8yrs, its something we've talked about... I've been very insecure, as you can imagine, I married her so I feel very secure with her, myself I like cam, I like to be watched. I've always wanted to be directed, told what to do with her, but I'm quite shy around other people, that's whats help us back..

Kate is more than happy to as she is very adventurous, her job prevents us doing things I would love to, But cam seems the best place so far. my hardest part is getting to know people first as I'm shy.. the cam thing makes me feel a little more confident, being watched makes me last longer for some reason.

But it is something we spoke about over a year ago, but my insecurities got in the way.

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