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Going through a bad patch...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Are you sure they were laughing at you? You look like you have an amazing body. Can't imagine that you draw the laughs in a club, really!

Still, if they were trying to put you down, that says more about them really than anything else. Shrug it off, and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What could they possibly have to laugh at? They sound awful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you get laughed at there's no hope for the rest of us.

Hope your luck changes x

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

From what I can see of your profile and pics you're gorgeous. All I can say is they must have been jealous!

I know it's easier said than done but forget them. Don't give them another thought.

Live life and enjoy it, it's not like we get a second chance.

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By *REW and HELENCouple
over a year ago

sutton in ashfield

Dont know why they chose to laugh at you. Judging by your pics you look super sexy..x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

VERY sure, as we played near them a little while before but we hs to play alone. But very sure because they both looked us in the eye and pointed. So yeah...

The only thing we can think of is they MAY have thought we wanted tonokay with them, but really if you saw the male you would have to ask why anybody would, he looked like Edd Sheran after a night on the piss...

Regardless, thanks to that our confidence has gone, and we feel like we are constantly putting our foot in it Was one of those nights where we came home and ever since haven't been able to get anywhere, can't even strike up a decent convo now

Totally at a loss as to where to go next, but we both are seriously thinking that after a few years maybe enough is enough and we moved on. Which is a shame as we both love our fun little meets C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You both look fantastic and what's more we would have to say that you must be mistaken there is certainly no way they were laughing at you, was there something odd going on behind you? Even if they were you should be proud of your bodies and confident in your skin and you both look very good indeed xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you sure they were laughing at you? You look like you have an amazing body. Can't imagine that you draw the laughs in a club, really!

Still, if they were trying to put you down, that says more about them really than anything else. Shrug it off, and move on."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lordy lord you are one of the sexiest couples on here and I would be privileged if I bumped into you at a club and you spoke to me never mind played together

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By *ukus 62Woman
over a year ago

Essex


"If you get laughed at there's no hope for the rest of us.

Hope your luck changes x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you get laughed at there's no hope for the rest of us.

"

Exactly what I was thinking. Both M&F looking pretty good to me.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx "
. There are lots of other people apart from the couple that laughed at you. Decent people laugh with each other , not at others . Why bother about two individuals , there are plenty of fish in the sea . You just have to accept that swinging can on occasions be heartless and ruthless and adapt accordingly . Do not worry too much about what others either say or think.

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By *erseyridersCouple
over a year ago

wallasey

dnt let others spoil ur fun ,,,try a new club ,,town house is excellent staff r superb n deffo no 1 will ever laugh at u such a grt crowd vry friendly ,,,dnt give up on ur fun ,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They were obviously just jealous of you both. Some people get their kicks out of belittling others. The couple in the club sound vile. I've seen some sights on my travels but would never dream of making fun of someone. Each to their own and all that. You are both hot so fuck em!!

Maybe get your sexy arses up North. Have a change of scene. Many great clubs up here. Do not give in! If you enjoy doing something don't be bullied out of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Come to paradise in Bournemouth, we are a friendly group and is great at weekends, friendly and fun.

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx "

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

[Removed by poster at 08/02/15 08:07:41]

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

They sound like awful people and you are much better than that.

Put them out of your mind and rise above it, they don't deserve another moment wasted on them.

A change of scene would be a good idea. Perhaps going away for a weekend and trying a new club would help raise your spirits and boost your confidence.

Then if you still feel the same way, maybe hide your profile and take a break?

Don't let a couple of tossers ruin something you enjoy. I hope you get your swinging mojo back soon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't give idiots like that the satisfaction of knowing their callous actions have affected you. Your reactions will only spur them on to their next victim.

As a couple who have had our fair share of odd looks and whispers, we let it go over our heads or offer a sharp and witty retort to snide comments. That usually shuts them up pretty damned quick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think they were laffing at u . Loads prob Laff at me just ignore them they were prob pissed and high .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

"

Just what I was thinking ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Just what I was thinking ... "

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Very sad to hear you feel like that, we have yet to be brave enough to go to a club and reading that makes us even more scared! We have our first single-guy meet this Thursday so hoping that instils some confidence. But as others have said, your profile and pics are super. Currently annoyed as just had our very first "obviously a timewaster" email having sent a very polite "no" to a guy, perhaps I need to get better at blocking and not taking personally. But you guys will be fine, try and move on and remember its the ginger guys bloody loss!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

So you can bad mouth them to all and sundry because of how they and the people they chose to play with look..."recently deceased husband" really?.....because you perceive that they were laughing at you?

I think you might need to step away from this and concentrate on other things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From looking at your pics, I would say it was envy that they were experiencing. As for the laughing, well ignore them. But it can be hurtful in a public place and I have never been to a club before but this would put me off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldn't worry or care what others think, if in a busy club only one set of couples laugh at you then well at least they were entertained by you so you were important in their lives for a little while.

Many of us suffer with body confidence but at the same time want to express ourselves, the club in question is one my partner and I attend, both of us are body conscious but it doesn't stop us getting naked at events especially Mo who is usually naked within an hour of arriving. Where ever you go in life someone will need to crtisise what they see not because they are looking at something particularly bad but because they need to make themselves feel better, it's in most peoples nature to do it, infact you have done it in your own post big fat fingers have souls too and I hope to still be swinging when I have one foot in the grave.

By what you have said it seems your a little extra sensitive because you were ridiculed what you are in a lull in your swinging life, you were kicked when you were already down and that is when it hurts the most.

Your both hotties and im not sure the Dr designed a sonic screwdriver for the purposes your using it for, but maybe some time out will do you good my partner and I left the swinging world for a few months before Christmas and we are back with a new passion for it. Consentrait on each other for a bit and come back with a vengeance.

Good luck whatever you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know a swinging club is the one place we feel that others don't judge like a vanilla club would.

So many different shapes, sizes,ages and orientations.

People can indulge fetish, kinks, and an open minded attitude.

Weather you were judging them or vice versa kinda defeats the whole meaning of the swinging lifestyle.

Having boundaries and a certain standard is fine.

Having opinions that may upset and offend others is not.

We only have your side of the story and if thing's happened as you said then the other couple were completely out of order and a complaint to the club owners should be forthcoming.

However maybe go thru the events of the night and ask where you completely blameless?

I am not suggesting that you did anything to warrant what happened, merely asking you to rethink if you both could have caused some tension between you?

On the slump, well even a hot couple can't expect it to be there on tap when it suits.

As we are finding out you

Need to put in some effort yourself to reap the benefits (btw not saying we are a hot couple)

Like everything in life things ebb and flow sometimes it's easy most of the time it's hard.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You shouldn't worry or care what others think, if in a busy club only one set of couples laugh at you then well at least they were entertained by you so you were important in their lives for a little while.

Many of us suffer with body confidence but at the same time want to express ourselves, the club in question is one my partner and I attend, both of us are body conscious but it doesn't stop us getting naked at events especially Mo who is usually naked within an hour of arriving. Where ever you go in life someone will need to crtisise what they see not because they are looking at something particularly bad but because they need to make themselves feel better, it's in most peoples nature to do it, infact you have done it in your own post big fat fingers have souls too and I hope to still be swinging when I have one foot in the grave.

By what you have said it seems your a little extra sensitive because you were ridiculed what you are in a lull in your swinging life, you were kicked when you were already down and that is when it hurts the most.

Your both hotties and im not sure the Dr designed a sonic screwdriver for the purposes your using it for, but maybe some time out will do you good my partner and I left the swinging world for a few months before Christmas and we are back with a new passion for it. Consentrait on each other for a bit and come back with a vengeance.

Good luck whatever you do. "

* Gingers not fingers lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really wouldn't view that one experience as a big reason to leave the scene. Ultimately only you can both decide on if you want to continue.

And I'm sure you can attract who you want - if you're profile is anything to go by, and you're positive etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How could you have been laughed at you have a great profile great pics and you seem to be very respectful and well mannered x we can't seem to find any sort of meet at the min x but don't give up good things come to those who wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you can bad mouth them to all and sundry because of how they and the people they chose to play with look..."recently deceased husband" really?.....because you perceive that they were laughing at you?

I think you might need to step away from this and concentrate on other things."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How could you have been laughed at you have a great profile great pics and you seem to be very respectful and well mannered x we can't seem to find any sort of meet at the min x but don't give up good things come to those who wait "

You think the OP was respectful and well mannered? Is that sarcasm?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your pics are hot and you're very sexy - shame we weren't closer. We've had a dry spell too not had a meet since March, keep getting let down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you mean by a bad patch?

You've had meets in the last month? How is that a bad patch?

And the way that you have described this couple and their friends is in pretty poor taste, and just makes you as bad as them for laughing at you, if in fact they were laughing at you.

Your in a swinging hot spot, so really can't believe that your not getting meets, are you actively looking by sending messages out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your pics are hot and you're very sexy - shame we weren't closer. We've had a dry spell too not had a meet since March, keep getting let down.

"

Doh not had a meet since November - was let down last night.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"What do you mean by a bad patch?

You've had meets in the last month? How is that a bad patch?

And the way that you have described this couple and their friends is in pretty poor taste, and just makes you as bad as them for laughing at you, if in fact they were laughing at you.

Your in a swinging hot spot, so really can't believe that your not getting meets, are you actively looking by sending messages out? "

They have achieved what they set out to do I suspect.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Swinging is like everything else - you get good bits and you get bad bits. And you have no control over either really. I get purple patches on here, where I can do no wrong and messages roll in, then a week or so later (usually when I am horny and available), not a message will appear!

With regards to clubs, I have had many nights where no-one has come near me and I've ended up chatting to the bar staff all night. Then next time I go its like a feeding frenzy.

Knocking all this on the head due to one bad patch is a bit weird, but maybe you need a rest. We can get a bit narrow focused about this and the end result starts being the only important thing. Hide your profile, go out together or watch DVDs. The weather is improving so go for some walks. Then come back refreshed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meant the couple just seem very nice x and nobody enjoys being taunted humiliated and laughed at x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

"

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club..."

How do you know they didn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We empathise totally with you and yes sometimes you do get bad patches but then you get a good meet and suddenly it's all worth while again.

Anecdotely as you get older you do find you get left on shelf more and more but I cannot for one second see that being the case with you guys.

Perhaps have a little rest from it and do it when you feel like it rather than be someone else's pervy agenda.

As for the couple in the club you probably didn't hear what they were saying. Perhaps they were perving over your gorgeous young looks or perhaps they were just jealous about your youthfulness and poking fun to make you feel self conscious. It does seem a bit rude to do what they did but a similar thing happened to us at a club and we decided to give it a break for a while. The break continues LOL. we haven't been back for 2 years or so.

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only thing we can think of is they MAY have thought we wanted tonokay with them, but really if you saw the male you would have to ask why anybody would, he looked like Edd Sheran after a night on the piss"

sticks and stones wont make it right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about."

troll?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club...

How do you know they didn't?"

Well, because they havent said they did, so i have no reason to think they did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only thing i can think of is they were jealous/childish. There is absolutly nothing wrong with you, you look very sexy

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

troll?"

A horrible person then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

troll?

A horrible person then"

i hope she doesnt read that she was fat and looked a mess in a clingy dress

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

Ive just looked at your public photos, and can honestly say that you are both physically gorgeous!

The lady has such a pretty face (as well as other attributes) and the gentleman a fantastic physique so I cant see what you have to worry about.

Your are young, healthy and attractive - sod 'em and have fun!

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

[Removed by poster at 08/02/15 10:35:07]

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

troll?

A horrible person then

i hope she doesnt read that she was fat and looked a mess in a clingy dress"

What are you on about?

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By *igertigerCouple (MM)
over a year ago

nr Letterkenny

Mrs T you shouldn't give that couple a second thought you are young and fit...more good times lie ahead!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

troll?

A horrible person then

i hope she doesnt read that she was fat and looked a mess in a clingy dress

What are you on about?"

The woman said she looked fat in front of so I think she already knows??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it's the time of Year but we are going through a dry patch. We go clubbing about once a week, Chams, or THI usually and always found loads who wanted to play. The last month or so this has dwindled to no one! It does seem less people playing as well generally, maybe the weather? Or should I trade the old girl in for a new fitter version, lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post is a wind up obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

troll?

A horrible person then

i hope she doesnt read that she was fat and looked a mess in a clingy dress

What are you on about?

The woman said she looked fat in front of so I think she already knows??

"

ahh i need more coffee lol sorry!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"This post is a wind up obviously "

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

troll?

A horrible person then

i hope she doesnt read that she was fat and looked a mess in a clingy dress

What are you on about?

The woman said she looked fat in front of so I think she already knows??

"

The woman I was talking to got insulted she was neither fat or ugly pay attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post is a wind up obviously "

Im starting to think you might be right actually.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club..."
Does that not make it even worse ? If someone is recently deceased it is in very poor taste to make any derogatory comments about them . Age or looks should not be a barrier to enjoying yourself

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club... Does that not make it even worse ? If someone is recently deceased it is in very poor taste to make any derogatory comments about them . Age or looks should not be a barrier to enjoying yourself "

They meant that the husband was so old he looked as if he was recently deceased. which is worse really the poor chap.

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"This post is a wind up obviously

"
Or maybe just an attempt to obtain profile views

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club... Does that not make it even worse ? If someone is recently deceased it is in very poor taste to make any derogatory comments about them . Age or looks should not be a barrier to enjoying yourself "

How did they make any derogatory comments about the recently deceased person?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You get arseholes everywhere when I was at Xtasia recently I was chatting to a lovely lady and some troll I won't say woman said she looked fat in her clingy dress luckily she just shrugged it off there really are some horrible fuckers about.

troll?

A horrible person then

i hope she doesnt read that she was fat and looked a mess in a clingy dress

What are you on about?

The woman said she looked fat in front of so I think she already knows??

The woman I was talking to got insulted she was neither fat or ugly pay attention "

I meant she already knows the other woman said she was fat, pay attention yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They obviusly said "We should invite them to play with us, we are obviously their type" Then fell about laughing at themselves for being so sad and awful.

I have had a "bad patch" For the last 7 months, so frustrating !! X

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

But that's the point she didn't know her and she was pissed off that said woman said it and it upset her

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"They obviusly said "We should invite them to play with us, we are obviously their type" Then fell about laughing at themselves for being so sad and awful.

I have had a "bad patch" For the last 7 months, so frustrating !! X"

I think the point is that none of us know exactly what went on or what was going through the minds of these unfortunate club goers. However honour is restored and self esteem boosted by all the people who don't know what went on sympathising

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"Ironically, being ignored has a similar effect. Imagine you recently joined a swinging site and had received a reply from every single message you'd sent - not that you'd sent many, mind. Then one day, whilst having a happy half hour in the forum, you message a couple. And they totally blank you. And 2 years later you look on their profile and you can see that you'd messaged them and they hadn't replied. For a while, it made that guy feel really bad about himself. Then he sat back and thought 'one day, they will feel as bad as I did' and he forgot about them. "
Why would anyone expect to receive a reply to every message that they send ? Surely a reply is only necessary if the message is of interest to the recipient . Sending messages is not like giving a present and expecting someone to say thank you . ( same principle applies when opening the door to someone ) . We are in cyber world where a oompletely different set of rules apply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But that's the point she didn't know her and she was pissed off that said woman said it and it upset her "

Not surprised. But I was referring to the post from the other poster who said that the insulted women may read about it here and get upset. I was pointing out that she already knew the woman said it as it was said in front of her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh i do so enjoy the Milk Tray Brigade

Gimp

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club... Does that not make it even worse ? If someone is recently deceased it is in very poor taste to make any derogatory comments about them . Age or looks should not be a barrier to enjoying yourself

They meant that the husband was so old he looked as if he was recently deceased. which is worse really the poor chap."

That bit made me snigger. I'm a bad person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP we've chatted. You're a lovely couple. Your pics are lovely. But I wonder about your expectations.

I met a young couple in a club a while back. He was pacing up and down in the smoking area obviously furious. We got chatting and it turned out that he couldn't understand why single fems weren't sweeping her off her feet as she was stunning - which she was. But they came as a couple and he said he was 'only along for the ride'. I explained as a single bi fem that, although she was lovely, his attitude would make me run a mile.

Sometimes it pays to look at your own attitude to this. I'm not saying this is the case, just that it might be.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Hmmmm I wonder how much the club charged the dead guy to get in?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hmmmm I wonder how much the club charged the dead guy to get in? "

they let him in free because he was guaranteed to remain stiff all night

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Em, theyve only said that in here AFTER the event. Im pretty sure they didnt talk about them like that in the club... Does that not make it even worse ? If someone is recently deceased it is in very poor taste to make any derogatory comments about them . Age or looks should not be a barrier to enjoying yourself

They meant that the husband was so old he looked as if he was recently deceased. which is worse really the poor chap.

That bit made me snigger. I'm a bad person. "

You are very bad indeed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I won’t continue to post in this thread other than to clear up a few things.

1) We actively search, message, chat, and are polite.

2) We never bad mouth other couples, its just not on. However in this case we have without naming them, without even saying they are on FAB.

3) We never speak with this couple, never have any intention of meeting, and don't really want to. Its not a "meet gone wrong".

4) We were pointed and laughed at first. That may seem like "playground rules", but when you get laughed at for no reason in a swinging club, a place designed solely for that to NOT happen, it gets at you. Even more so that now we don't know if we are going back.

5) Debs, are expectations are that we are here to social, with a view to meet later on if possible. We are here to make friends, not enemies. We don't actively search for people to piss off, annoy, hurt or make them feel small. Sadly this site has a LOT of those people. Its hard finding normal couples/singles on here, even harder when you have set check lists of your own that has to match.

6) On the subject of replies, we aim to reply to as many as we can, but sometimes its just not possible. We have over 100 messages a day, most of which are badly typed, pointless messages. Sadly the few that are nicely written are from people who don't even read our profile and see they are out of our age range or what we are looking for. Even then we do TRY and reply, but that’s not always possible.

7) Finally in closing, sticks and stones won't make anything right or change. But I can promise you, the only time we laughed at anything that night was in the chill out room because as usual the porn on the TV was AWFUL. We sat there for a good 10 minutes laughing because we wasn't sure if the woman had an "innie" or an "outie" belly button, because with every thrust it would pop in, then pop out... We have never laughed at a single person in any club, never would. We are both VERY insecure people, and we value our friendships far more than getting our ends away. We love the social side of things and will happily chat with people who are not anywhere near close to what we want in the bedroom simply because its polite. So to be stood there, minding our own business, and have people POINT, LAUGH and TALK about you, then proceed to tell another couple, who DO THE SAME THING... All while you are stood there in this: http://www.fabswingers.com/profile/telfordcouple86/display/021b31c6-7253-4d35-b6b4-770d46b40542 IS VERY DIFFICULT... Its damn near impossible. In fact we left the club a few minutes later after getting changed because that was the first time we had ever seen this happen.

One last time, for the sake of those who can't/won't read:

WE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING. We only felt the need to insult to let off some steam. Hell, they really are far, far from the nicest looking people on the planet, and the fact they feel they could laugh at another couple shows that they are really shallow, ugly people, regardless of looks. So if I can't do a retrospect insult at them after they made us feel so bad we had to leave a club and drive 40 miles home, then I'm ever so sorry.

C xx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I won’t continue to post in this thread other than to clear up a few things.

1) We actively search, message, chat, and are polite.

2) We never bad mouth other couples, its just not on. However in this case we have without naming them, without even saying they are on FAB.

3) We never speak with this couple, never have any intention of meeting, and don't really want to. Its not a "meet gone wrong".

4) We were pointed and laughed at first. That may seem like "playground rules", but when you get laughed at for no reason in a swinging club, a place designed solely for that to NOT happen, it gets at you. Even more so that now we don't know if we are going back.

5) Debs, are expectations are that we are here to social, with a view to meet later on if possible. We are here to make friends, not enemies. We don't actively search for people to piss off, annoy, hurt or make them feel small. Sadly this site has a LOT of those people. Its hard finding normal couples/singles on here, even harder when you have set check lists of your own that has to match.

6) On the subject of replies, we aim to reply to as many as we can, but sometimes its just not possible. We have over 100 messages a day, most of which are badly typed, pointless messages. Sadly the few that are nicely written are from people who don't even read our profile and see they are out of our age range or what we are looking for. Even then we do TRY and reply, but that’s not always possible.

7) Finally in closing, sticks and stones won't make anything right or change. But I can promise you, the only time we laughed at anything that night was in the chill out room because as usual the porn on the TV was AWFUL. We sat there for a good 10 minutes laughing because we wasn't sure if the woman had an "innie" or an "outie" belly button, because with every thrust it would pop in, then pop out... We have never laughed at a single person in any club, never would. We are both VERY insecure people, and we value our friendships far more than getting our ends away. We love the social side of things and will happily chat with people who are not anywhere near close to what we want in the bedroom simply because its polite. So to be stood there, minding our own business, and have people POINT, LAUGH and TALK about you, then proceed to tell another couple, who DO THE SAME THING... All while you are stood there in this: http://www.fabswingers.com/profile/telfordcouple86/display/021b31c6-7253-4d35-b6b4-770d46b40542 IS VERY DIFFICULT... Its damn near impossible. In fact we left the club a few minutes later after getting changed because that was the first time we had ever seen this happen.

One last time, for the sake of those who can't/won't read:

WE WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING. We only felt the need to insult to let off some steam. Hell, they really are far, far from the nicest looking people on the planet, and the fact they feel they could laugh at another couple shows that they are really shallow, ugly people, regardless of looks. So if I can't do a retrospect insult at them after they made us feel so bad we had to leave a club and drive 40 miles home, then I'm ever so sorry.

C xx"

Honestly and with the best possible intent you need to step back from this. Read your last paragraph back to yourself. For your own peace of mind, self esteem and sanity take a bit of a break. I wish you luck and peace of mind. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Oh indeed, I know... But seeing as I can't/Don't drink, this was the next best thing... Its a pitty really... I really like Ed Sheeran C x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Oh indeed, I know... But seeing as I can't/Don't drink, this was the next best thing... Its a pitty really... I really like Ed Sheeran C x"

Eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I totally agree that there is no need for people to point and laugh.

Were they around when you were laughing at the porn film? Perhaps they thought you were laughing at them...?

No need at all for the horrible comments you made on here about them though.

Don't let one shit incident put you off clubs. Some people are friendly, some aren't.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

"

Yep, the irony didn't evade me either.

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By *zanyCouple
over a year ago

truro

Get yourselves to chameleons it is by far the best club we have been too. It is a great place to get to know people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest how one incident can provoke such a reaction in someone.

There has to be a deeper issue here because if you were that insecure you would never set foot into a club or be swinging at all.

As I said your in a bit of a lull at the moment so not feeling great so this insident has touched an already raw nerve.

I can not imagine this sort of playground stuff provoking such a reaction from adults in the right state of mind.

State of mind is the issue here and looking at the big picture it sounds like you felt like everyone was against you, surely you had people in there that you knew to reassure you?

The best advise I can see you have already been given here is take time out off the scene concentrate on each other make yourselves feel good again and then if you still want to come back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh indeed, I know... But seeing as I can't/Don't drink, this was the next best thing... Its a pitty really... I really like Ed Sheeran C x"

Ahh now we get to the crux of the problem.

They were obviously pointing and laughing at you because they heard that you like Ed Sheeran.

Dump the Cheesy stuff n go out and buy some Springsteen and Stones..Problem solved

Sorted.

The Invoice is in the Post

Dr Gimp

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"So you can bad mouth them to all and sundry because of how they and the people they chose to play with look..."recently deceased husband" really?.....because you perceive that they were laughing at you?

I think you might need to step away from this and concentrate on other things."
exactly this

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"To be honest how one incident can provoke such a reaction in someone.

There has to be a deeper issue here because if you were that insecure you would never set foot into a club or be swinging at all.

As I said your in a bit of a lull at the moment so not feeling great so this insident has touched an already raw nerve.

I can not imagine this sort of playground stuff provoking such a reaction from adults in the right state of mind.

State of mind is the issue here and looking at the big picture it sounds like you felt like everyone was against you, surely you had people in there that you knew to reassure you?

The best advise I can see you have already been given here is take time out off the scene concentrate on each other make yourselves feel good again and then if you still want to come back.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

The funniest thing in this thread is the dead guy

The rest is even more childish than me laughing at that

Paranoia seems to be alive and kicking though

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By *bony in IvoryCouple
over a year ago

Black&White Utopia


"Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx "
No we have never had this... Any laughing at clubs is usually with all we meet and have a laugh with .. To be honest No one would ever make me/ us feel bad in the way you are describing... If ever any anamosity was felt.. It would be delt with there n then. The way you describe events, what do you think they were laughing at? And is it not possible they were just laughing and you just thought it was at you? People can only make us feel inferia if we ourselves allow that.... Expressing how bad they made you feel by then totaly picking em apart and being quite nasty about em to justify how they made you feel is crazy! Aint that just as bad? Someone laughing , and you assume it was AT you ... And it's now ' destroyed your confidence' is possibly something you need look at closer as to why that effected you in this way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the end, the only people making you feel this way are yourselves...I don't imagine that the couple you are referring to are even giving you a second thought today...it's your insecurity eating away at you and persistently thinking about it is making it even worse...

I know this is easier said than done, but why on earth are you allowing the apparent opinion of 2 people that you don't even know affect you in this way? The only opinions that matter to me are those of the people whose good regard of me matters...if that makes sense...strangers that I've never met don't count in the slightest particularly if they appear to be judging me on just one facet of my entire being...and particularly in this hobby of ours where you have absolutely no idea of the criteria people are applying to figure out if you're worthy of their time...

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

You look gorgeous - in fact at the risk of sounding like pervs you have been on our hotlist for some time. Don't let people drag you down - their rudeness says more about them than it does about you. But by the same token rise above talking about others in derogatory terms. It does you no favours and may well turn other people off, or even against, you. Keep smiling!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx No we have never had this... Any laughing at clubs is usually with all we meet and have a laugh with .. To be honest No one would ever make me/ us feel bad in the way you are describing... If ever any anamosity was felt.. It would be delt with there n then. The way you describe events, what do you think they were laughing at? And is it not possible they were just laughing and you just thought it was at you? People can only make us feel inferia if we ourselves allow that.... Expressing how bad they made you feel by then totaly picking em apart and being quite nasty about em to justify how they made you feel is crazy! Aint that just as bad? Someone laughing , and you assume it was AT you ... And it's now ' destroyed your confidence' is possibly something you need look at closer as to why that effected you in this way? "

Yes !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people on here can only see your pics but having met you all I can say is they must have been high on drugs or something. Next time you want to go out to Xtasia give us a shout. We will buy you a drink or two.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You wrote 'We are both very insecure people' and that, my lovely friends would seem to be the problem. Insecurities are a bitch to get rid of and we've all got them, but honestly, it's time to shrug them off and have go have some fun. Party like nothing matters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You wrote 'We are both very insecure people' and that, my lovely friends would seem to be the problem. Insecurities are a bitch to get rid of and we've all got them, but honestly, it's time to shrug them off and have go have some fun. Party like nothing matters. "

We both are, sure, but not in swinging, its the one area we are confident. But when you get pointed at and laughed at and its clearly NOT just your mind playing tricks, it makes things a whole lot worse. C x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"You wrote 'We are both very insecure people' and that, my lovely friends would seem to be the problem. Insecurities are a bitch to get rid of and we've all got them, but honestly, it's time to shrug them off and have go have some fun. Party like nothing matters.

We both are, sure, but not in swinging, its the one area we are confident. But when you get pointed at and laughed at and its clearly NOT just your mind playing tricks, it makes things a whole lot worse. C x"

You might want to look at all the positive comments you have had here..and ignored! Take those on board, they are by far the majority but you choose to concentrate on the negative. That way lies madness and it will do you no good at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You wrote 'We are both very insecure people' and that, my lovely friends would seem to be the problem. Insecurities are a bitch to get rid of and we've all got them, but honestly, it's time to shrug them off and have go have some fun. Party like nothing matters.

We both are, sure, but not in swinging, its the one area we are confident. But when you get pointed at and laughed at and its clearly NOT just your mind playing tricks, it makes things a whole lot worse. C x

You might want to look at all the positive comments you have had here..and ignored! Take those on board, they are by far the majority but you choose to concentrate on the negative. That way lies madness and it will do you no good at all."

Pointing and laughing is something primary school children do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You wrote 'We are both very insecure people' and that, my lovely friends would seem to be the problem. Insecurities are a bitch to get rid of and we've all got them, but honestly, it's time to shrug them off and have go have some fun. Party like nothing matters.

We both are, sure, but not in swinging, its the one area we are confident. But when you get pointed at and laughed at and its clearly NOT just your mind playing tricks, it makes things a whole lot worse. C x

You might want to look at all the positive comments you have had here..and ignored! Take those on board, they are by far the majority but you choose to concentrate on the negative. That way lies madness and it will do you no good at all."

Trust us, we are, belie e me we are? We have had a few lovely messages from amazing people too! I just don't want people think think we are mean all the time that's all! We just had a momentally lapse of judgement was all (the negative words) C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx "

Do you think you are maybe overthinking things? Without sounding like a brown noser you are obviously a very sexy woman with a great body. I seriously doubt they were laughing at you. If they were laughing at you then they need to go to specsavers.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx

Do you think you are maybe overthinking things? Without sounding like a brown noser you are obviously a very sexy woman with a great body. I seriously doubt they were laughing at you. If they were laughing at you then they need to go to specsavers. "

Gav and I were talking about it last night, and the only thing we can think of that would have anything even remotely to do with it was that at one point we played with each other (alone) in the dungeon, and they were there near. We moved to the bed from the chairs, which was close to where they were, but moved back once we saw there was very little room anyway, but they were not on the bed anyway... But that's the only time we were even near them. When we were laughing at the tv upstairs they never even entered the room.

Of course now gavs paranoid that it's his size, because his ex used to take the mick out of him as well. Im not exactly body confident at all, but both of us when out swinging usually are very good, we put it all aside and dont worry at all. But this time it was just way too obvious t was us that was being laughed at and pointed at, mainly because there was nobody near us when it was happening.

For all those saying get over it, grow up, move on... We actually have, trust me. I'm only replying to this now as its an ongoing point. But I bet you would have your confidence knocked as well if it happened to you. Since this post went live we have had three different couples not only ask, but also tell us about this same couple by describing them, but not on the same night.

That's why we don't care anymore. This couple clearly has an ego, and they don't mind showing it! To be told they have been rude to a few people just shows it's not us!

We ARE over it! Believe me! But man, what an awful attitude this couple must have! C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

"

Once again... This was said in anger a few days after everything happened, after everything was done from their end, not ours. If you read the thread it doesn't take much to figure that out. C x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps they heard you calling them a sad old ginger git/ recently deceased/ ugly Barbie doll etc etc?

Once again... This was said in anger a few days after everything happened, after everything was done from their end, not ours. If you read the thread it doesn't take much to figure that out. C x"

just let it go move on and have fun

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

[Removed by poster at 09/02/15 19:07:45]

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford


"Seems we have hit one of those famed "bad patches" where you can't seem to catch a break or get anything right :p No meets in a long time, no socials, and worse still last time we went to a club we were laughed at and made to feel humiliated by a fat old ginger git and his odd Barbie lookalike younger girlfriend... And we never even played with them or knew them

Seems to be we may be hitting retirement age quicker than we thought Not much advice to give us in this case I'm sure, but it sure does feel like it's time to hang up our swinging boots!

I guess we wouldn't feel so torn if it wasn't for that one couple in Xtasia... I wouldn't even care, but we not only didn't play with them (they were playing with an old lady and her recently deceased husband most of the night from what we saw) but we also hadn't spoke to them, making the whole "let's laugh, point, then procede to talk to another couple about them" routine such a downer... It's totally destroyed my body confidence

I do hope we get another social/meet soon, as we are looking for a new club and/or social. It's time we had some more sexy fun with a girl (or fun couple!).

Hopefully soon because we have a week off from teaching on the 13th and it would be a shame to waste it!

Anybody else ever suffer the horrible shit that is being laughed at for (what you can see) no reason?

C xx "
. Your status update states that you are teachers . I would have thought that as a teacher you would appreciate that it is completely unacceptable to describe someone as a sad old git . Posts on these forums are a good indication of peoples attitude towards others . General it is best to treat others as you would wish to be treated and to refrain from making derogatory comments.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

In this thread, you learn that teachers are in fact people too, and have their own lives, their own personalities, and their own ways. Just because I'm a teacher, it doesn't mean I give up the right to say negative comments or, dare I say it, be an arse. Shocking I know.

As a teacher, my work ethic does extend beyond the classroom. But that doesn't mean I have to act like a saint all the time. Its "completely unacceptable" to rape somebody, murder somebody, touch a child... Its not "completely unacceptable" to slag off somebody that is as ugly as they come personality wise that has made you feel low. If you really think that "teachers" don't have the right to be pissed off, angry, hurt or upset, then you have a very hard road ahead of you. C x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I completely agree that teachers are human and fallible. My advice to any teacher on here would be to avoid advertising the fact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This post is a wind up obviously

Or maybe just an attempt to obtain profile views "

This

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