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Help me? Chat/meets.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't prearrange meets, although if someone says they'll be free around certain days and i know i'm not busy i'll ask them to message me on the day to check i'm still free. Just explaining why i have this question.

Right, here's my question.

I don't like dirty chat, unless it's with someone i've fucked and feel comfortable with and am in the mood (which isn't often if i'm honest). So when i am talking to people who are asking what sort of stuff i'm into this puts me off, feel like i'm trying to be dirty chatted? Are they trying to because i can understand they want to know what they'll get out of the meet but it's on my profile all i want is 'normal' sex. The usual boring stuff, coz that's all i'm comfortable with when i first meet someone. If we get up to anything else on later meets then fair enough.

Also, would it be acceptable to have my actual kinks on my page as interests and still expect guys not to ask about them if we're gonna meet?

Dunno, tempted to just block guys who cba to read my profile, even after i have told them i considered meeting them. Or wondering if my profile is confusing or too long to absorb.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'd leave them off to be honest as I have a few and had them on my profile before. BIG MISTAKE! Because that is all the wannabe's focus on, so meet under 'normal' circumstances and take it from there if you want to x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd leave them off to be honest as I have a few and had them on my profile before. BIG MISTAKE! Because that is all the wannabe's focus on, so meet under 'normal' circumstances and take it from there if you want to x "

Yeah thanks.

I'm not that bothered about doing my kinks with new people anyway and do like just normal sex and get a lot out of that, am gonna leave them off.

Not sure what to tell people about what we'll get up to on a meet. Gonna say i don't enjoy dirty chat and leave it at that?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I'd leave them off to be honest as I have a few and had them on my profile before. BIG MISTAKE! Because that is all the wannabe's focus on, so meet under 'normal' circumstances and take it from there if you want to x

Yeah thanks.

I'm not that bothered about doing my kinks with new people anyway and do like just normal sex and get a lot out of that, am gonna leave them off.

Not sure what to tell people about what we'll get up to on a meet. Gonna say i don't enjoy dirty chat and leave it at that?"

I don't do dirty chat either, they are the one's that are sitting at home wanking with no intention of meeting! All from reading words on a screen!

If anyone ask what I am into I just give brief examples of what I like and don't like I don't feel the need to go into detail.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't do dirty chat either, they are the one's that are sitting at home wanking with no intention of meeting! All from reading words on a screen!

If anyone ask what I am into I just give brief examples of what I like and don't like I don't feel the need to go into detail."

Ok, i already told the guy i'm only after normal sex and oral so he's had his reply already really and shouldn't have pressed for more info. Looks like he is trying to dirty chat me.

Thanks so much for your advice. Found it really helpful.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I don't do dirty chat either, they are the one's that are sitting at home wanking with no intention of meeting! All from reading words on a screen!

If anyone ask what I am into I just give brief examples of what I like and don't like I don't feel the need to go into detail.

Ok, i already told the guy i'm only after normal sex and oral so he's had his reply already really and shouldn't have pressed for more info. Looks like he is trying to dirty chat me.

Thanks so much for your advice. Found it really helpful."

I'm glad and your welcome x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think if a lady puts too much detail of what she likes on her profile then wannabes and chancers and ne'er-do-wells will simply say that's what they are into in their messages. Leave out the detail and ask the men what they are into and that provides you with a convenient filter. Actually, I think that's what FoxyMinx said as well but I've typed it now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think if a lady puts too much detail of what she likes on her profile then wannabes and chancers and ne'er-do-wells will simply say that's what they are into in their messages. Leave out the detail and ask the men what they are into and that provides you with a convenient filter. Actually, I think that's what FoxyMinx said as well but I've typed it now."

Hmm yeah. I don't actually make any demands on my profile for that reason, so that guys can message me however they want to and if i don't like what they say then i don't meet them.

Yeah you said it in a different way though so i thought about something else lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found putting my kinks fetishes and intersts was hassle.

Brought me crap one liners or people who wasnt actually into either lifestyles.

X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards "

Which bush we meeting at babe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

Which bush we meeting at babe? "
Was thinking, the bush at betts park in the middle of the park x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I found putting my kinks fetishes and intersts was hassle.

Brought me crap one liners or people who wasnt actually into either lifestyles.

X"

Yeah i noticed people use certain kinks to be completely selfish.

Eeh, thanks all of you. I feel back to being chilled and not stressed on here now. My inbox is a lot quieter too and think i remember why i stopped planning meets now.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

Which bush we meeting at babe?

Was thinking, the bush at betts park in the middle of the park x"

On my way now gonna pop in the spar for some haribos. If i'm late it's coz the police pulled me over for speeding...

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I think the answer is to be sensitive to who's doing the asking/chatting with you, and their style. I get turned-off immediately if I sense that someone's just trying to do cyber, to turn themselves on, or is playing any sort of dishonest game.

You can always leave discussion of interests to listing things, rather than elaborating. Getting them to elucidate more than you, and checking out how they're communicating, to see if it's likely to be trying to turn themselves on etc.

I find pre-meet discussions to be absolutely important, to help me out the unsuitable from the good and great. I'm not huge on lots of messages and move things to a phone conversation, where it's easy to get more insight into someone, than 2 dimensional texts.

I do pre-agreed meets, also ensuring there's nearer the time confirmation.

Remember that with fab mails, you don't have to reply immediately, so it can take some of the risk of them being a wanker out of the equation. Even if it's 1 message a day, it can cut the risk.

It's a bit like sales - and I've not sold much in my life - the risk of a sales person is to not close the deal when they can, and to continue to sell, missing the cues from the buyer.

Provide the information at any point that you're comfortable with, and no more, ever. Choose your style and format. Make them go on camera live, so you can see if they're wanking, deceiving you etc. You don't have to be on cam, giving them an extra turnon.

Overall, as you gain experience, you'll improve your abilities to pick out the tossers.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

Which bush we meeting at babe?

Was thinking, the bush at betts park in the middle of the park x

On my way now gonna pop in the spar for some haribos. If i'm late it's coz the police pulled me over for speeding... "
Nice and yes don't speed to much and get extra cola buttls for me, some wine is waiting for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think the answer is to be sensitive to who's doing the asking/chatting with you, and their style. I get turned-off immediately if I sense that someone's just trying to do cyber, to turn themselves on, or is playing any sort of dishonest game.

You can always leave discussion of interests to listing things, rather than elaborating. Getting them to elucidate more than you, and checking out how they're communicating, to see if it's likely to be trying to turn themselves on etc.

I find pre-meet discussions to be absolutely important, to help me out the unsuitable from the good and great. I'm not huge on lots of messages and move things to a phone conversation, where it's easy to get more insight into someone, than 2 dimensional texts.

I do pre-agreed meets, also ensuring there's nearer the time confirmation.

Remember that with fab mails, you don't have to reply immediately, so it can take some of the risk of them being a wanker out of the equation. Even if it's 1 message a day, it can cut the risk.

It's a bit like sales - and I've not sold much in my life - the risk of a sales person is to not close the deal when they can, and to continue to sell, missing the cues from the buyer.

Provide the information at any point that you're comfortable with, and no more, ever. Choose your style and format. Make them go on camera live, so you can see if they're wanking, deceiving you etc. You don't have to be on cam, giving them an extra turnon.

Overall, as you gain experience, you'll improve your abilities to pick out the tossers.

Good luck!"

Thanks so much, and this is really good info for me to have, hope i remember this.

especially. ""Remember that with fab mails, you don't have to reply immediately, so it can take some of the risk of them being a wanker out of the equation. Even if it's 1 message a day, it can cut the risk.""

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

Which bush we meeting at babe?

Was thinking, the bush at betts park in the middle of the park x

On my way now gonna pop in the spar for some haribos. If i'm late it's coz the police pulled me over for speeding... Nice and yes don't speed to much and get extra cola buttls for me, some wine is waiting for you "

Haha, actually would love to meet you one day. You're awesome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I found putting my kinks fetishes and intersts was hassle.

Brought me crap one liners or people who wasnt actually into either lifestyles.

X

Yeah i noticed people use certain kinks to be completely selfish.

chilllll and relax x x

Eeh, thanks all of you. I feel back to being chilled and not stressed on here now. My inbox is a lot quieter too and think i remember why i stopped planning meets now."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

Which bush we meeting at babe?

Was thinking, the bush at betts park in the middle of the park x

On my way now gonna pop in the spar for some haribos. If i'm late it's coz the police pulled me over for speeding... Nice and yes don't speed to much and get extra cola buttls for me, some wine is waiting for you

Haha, actually would love to meet you one day. You're awesome."
Thanks and yes same here, would like to meet you one day as well x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/02/15 23:06:44]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

Which bush we meeting at babe?

Was thinking, the bush at betts park in the middle of the park x

On my way now gonna pop in the spar for some haribos. If i'm late it's coz the police pulled me over for speeding... Nice and yes don't speed to much and get extra cola buttls for me, some wine is waiting for you

Haha, actually would love to meet you one day. You're awesome.Thanks and yes same here, would like to meet you one day as well x."

Promise not to eat you alive, unless you like that sort of thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am usually free any day after my gym workout around 1pm and onwards

Which bush we meeting at babe?

Was thinking, the bush at betts park in the middle of the park x

On my way now gonna pop in the spar for some haribos. If i'm late it's coz the police pulled me over for speeding... Nice and yes don't speed to much and get extra cola buttls for me, some wine is waiting for you

Haha, actually would love to meet you one day. You're awesome.Thanks and yes same here, would like to meet you one day as well x.

Promise not to eat you alive, unless you like that sort of thing?"
YEs. I kinda like that thing you know, but nibble first, I like to eat you to x.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Haha, nibble it is then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have too agree sometimes attracts the wrong attention

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City


"I found putting my kinks fetishes and intersts was hassle.

Brought me crap one liners or people who wasnt actually into either lifestyles.

X"

Same here. Ended up with loads of "Mistress, I'll be your sub", when I never even mentioned being Domme. Or worse still, messages that contained illegal acts, *shudders*

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