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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi everyone would like some advice when messaging people, how/what is the best way to start a message ? also what do you do if message someone and they haven't read it after a week or so even though they have been online do you leave it or try again ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Pretend you're in a bar. Type in what you'd say in real life. Mention something you like in their profile that attracted you to them. Don't bother checking to see if anyone has read your message. If they have and they like you, they will reply. If they don't, they don't. Don't cause yourself unnecessary stress.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks I just get nervous when messaging first time round as to me or to most people i suppose, it is like an ice breaker if you don't get it right the first they more or less wont speak to you again.

or is the me thinking on it to much ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Thanks I just get nervous when messaging first time round as to me or to most people i suppose, it is like an ice breaker if you don't get it right the first they more or less wont speak to you again.

or is the me thinking on it to much ? "

You can have a good guess about what is right and wrong. Things like 'I'm in your town tonight, fancy a shag?' are unlikely to work, whereas a polite and friendly and interesting first message has more chance. Don't overthink it - you can't know what other people are thinking. Be selective. Swinging is a lifestyle choice for many and the social side of it is as much part of it as the sex.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds


"Thanks I just get nervous when messaging first time round as to me or to most people i suppose, it is like an ice breaker if you don't get it right the first they more or less wont speak to you again.

or is the me thinking on it to much ?

You can have a good guess about what is right and wrong. Things like 'I'm in your town tonight, fancy a shag?' are unlikely to work, whereas a polite and friendly and interesting first message has more chance. Don't overthink it - you can't know what other people are thinking. Be selective. Swinging is a lifestyle choice for many and the social side of it is as much part of it as the sex. "

Don't treat every message as a prelude to a meet. Compliment them on their profile, pics, body, face or follow up on something in their profile. If you get a response things can develop. If you started talking to someone at a bus stop you wouldn't expect them to immediately jump into bed with you - no different here, except the people you speak to are probably more liberated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looked at a couple profile, 3 pics of fem no male, it only said 'just looking around' in the profile text, and said they wont meet smokers, so we moved on.

Got the following message a few days later:

Did she not look good enough to get a message from you lol .. O and nice pics

This for me is an example of a really awkward first message!!

...the ones we cant help but want to reply to have interesting questions/random banter/ones that get across personality. Decent questions are good...as it gives us a good starting point for a reply. Not the 'fancy a fuck' kinda question though...ones with a bit more imagination!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be honest and upfront (not meaning i'd love to shag your Mrs, type of honesty) say if you are new & don't lie about whether you have been to clubs etc. It does happen, which leads couples to formulate the wrong impression. Then leads onto a disparity of expectations, ie not understanding why he/her/they are so nervous about attending a venue that they have proclaimed to have frequented multiply times.

Hope that helps a little?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*multple

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Pretend you're in a bar. Type in what you'd say in real life"

Hello, would you like one of my pork scratchings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"*multple"

Love the self correction,i do that myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

make it personal - the recipient will know you have looked at their profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one liners!

Make it interesting and open ended....

Ask a question because if it's rhetorical or just a statement then it doesn't need a response.

Humour, a compliment, a mutual

Interest, all these are good ways to break the ice.

No response? Then you could try once more as some people may miss a message amongst others or forget to respond but don't then message them multiple times or be a stalker...

be nice, be cheeky, be funny, be flirty but don't be weird!

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