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Dom advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I would like some advice on how to dominate my wife in the bedroom, we have rope, blindfold, dildos and lube.

I want to do it properly so thought I would see if there is any experts on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The trick is to build the anticipation before the act.

You need to ignite her senses, get her on alert so that she is bristling with anticipation....

A blindfold, footsteps, cold gel, hot breath, a finger, a tongue.... Voices in the background... Could be a recording or a stranger, tell her she's being watched....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks, yeh I've already had ' I'll give free advice for pictures of your wife'

Erm no thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/01/15 07:43:13]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the biggest thing is communication. Find out what she wants and expects from dominant you Tell her what you want. Agree limits and then take it slow.

Does she want a pain element. Does she want to totally submit and have you able to do anything you want to her.

As you are asking about advice on how i will assume its more of a roleplay thing. Find out of there are any roles she might like within a dom sub dynamic. master and slave. Teacher and student boss and secretary.

The most important thing is to make sure that you talk and communicate and ensure you are both on the same page

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give her a huge pile of ironing to do and to to the pub. Tell her you're not sure what time you'll be back but she better have your supper ready.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

OP. Don't get done, get Dom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The trick is to build the anticipation before the act.

You need to ignite her senses, get her on alert so that she is bristling with anticipation....

A blindfold, footsteps, cold gel, hot breath, a finger, a tongue.... Voices in the background... Could be a recording or a stranger, tell her she's being watched.... "

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool


"Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense."

lol...I agree!

However, Lady C of Drastic Fantastic pro dungeon here....15 years experience

I started out by going to invite only events as there weren't many or any public events back then. You should try 'munches' which are social gatherings for BDSM players to share experience, interests and basically get a feel for what it's really like to Dominate.

You should then think about attending a BDSM event in a club, where there are DM's (Dungeon Masters/Mistresses) who will be happy to advise and you can see other people at 'play'. Watch and learn is my best advice. Start off simple with your partner, with tie and tease maybe and then evolve from there, based on what you learn at events.

The golden rule which is often forgotten is the sub is in control at all times!!!!! You as a Dominant may have control over her while you are playing but she MUST have a safe word and if she says it, it all stops. Hence, she is in ultimate control. The whole thing is about trusting one another, so basic foundations like this will be a good starting point.

Enjoy! xx

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By *nttake2Couple
over a year ago

South


"Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense."
spot on

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By *rincessAdrestiaTV/TS
over a year ago

Reading


"Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense.

lol...I agree!

However, Lady C of Drastic Fantastic pro dungeon here....15 years experience

I started out by going to invite only events as there weren't many or any public events back then. You should try 'munches' which are social gatherings for BDSM players to share experience, interests and basically get a feel for what it's really like to Dominate.

You should then think about attending a BDSM event in a club, where there are DM's (Dungeon Masters/Mistresses) who will be happy to advise and you can see other people at 'play'. Watch and learn is my best advice. Start off simple with your partner, with tie and tease maybe and then evolve from there, based on what you learn at events.

The golden rule which is often forgotten is the sub is in control at all times!!!!! You as a Dominant may have control over her while you are playing but she MUST have a safe word and if she says it, it all stops. Hence, she is in ultimate control. The whole thing is about trusting one another, so basic foundations like this will be a good starting point.

Enjoy! xx"

^^^ This.

Plus communication is key. Agree what is going to happen in the scene to a degree, don't forget the aftercare and feedback.

Start small as well - you don't have to dive head on into heavy leather or get the staple gun out straight away.

Tease and denial even without restraint can still be incredibly intense and has the same power dynamic. Being told not to touch yourself when you aren't tied up can be soooo much hotter!

If you want to get into the more serious stuff then there are plenty of places to go and get advice from real people in the scene, but you are on the wrong site. Go to fetlife or look up Peer Kink London for better ideas.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Visit a specialist event and watch and learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite"

why's that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that? "

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after"

I agree with this in the context of anyone who has got their inspiration from 50 Shades - which is my opinion is a perfect guide for how NOT to behave as a dominant - but for people coming to it naturally - as part of their own sexual growth and experimentation - why is do you feel the need to piss on their attempts to broaden their interests and experiences?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is one I posted to another person:

First point - do not set out to give pain, a small tap to you might result in a wacking great bruise on her arse.

Second point - you are new to this and she wants you to be in charge. So tell her to STFU and let you take things at a pace that is comfortable for you, not because she wants it now.

I would suggest tease and tie, as it is what we call sensation play with little or no pain.

So take her to bed, put some sexy music on, tie her up with some silk scarves and put a blindfold on her.

Leave her mouth open and arrange a safeword, so if she screams "red" you untie her and stop immediately.

So for example I would use items around the home or cheap stuff to play with:

1. Yolk brush - pennies in the kitchen department of any shop which you can tickle and flick her bits with.

2. Balloon - you can pop them and make her jump or play with static electricity

3. Elastic bands - snap them against her skin, makes her think you might hurt er more. Or makes her jump.

4. Popping candy - put some in your mouth and suck, or put some on her body

5. Spray bottle with icy water - makes her gasp

6. Chocolate spread/whipped cream - lick it off

7. Wooden spatula - good for tapping her and building up to smacking

8. Wooden kebab skewers - light poking is fun

9. A furry car mitt thing - good for stroking

+ loads more

Where I have suggested stuff like the kebab sticks or elastic bands, it is more of a sharp shock versus putting her into a happy place with the nice things.

Part of the joy of submission is not knowing what Mr dom is doing next, keeping her a quivering mess of sensation.

And not a whip or hurty thing in sight x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after

I agree with this in the context of anyone who has got their inspiration from 50 Shades - which is my opinion is a perfect guide for how NOT to behave as a dominant - but for people coming to it naturally - as part of their own sexual growth and experimentation - why is do you feel the need to piss on their attempts to broaden their interests and experiences?"

Simply because anybody who really feels themselves to be said 'Dom', wannabe Dom or whatever would surely not feel the need to ask random people questions about it. The OP thread would better suit a 'how to be a cuckolded man' type lifestyle than anything of a Dom variety

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense.

lol...I agree!

However, Lady C of Drastic Fantastic pro dungeon here....15 years experience

I started out by going to invite only events as there weren't many or any public events back then. You should try 'munches' which are social gatherings for BDSM players to share experience, interests and basically get a feel for what it's really like to Dominate.

You should then think about attending a BDSM event in a club, where there are DM's (Dungeon Masters/Mistresses) who will be happy to advise and you can see other people at 'play'. Watch and learn is my best advice. Start off simple with your partner, with tie and tease maybe and then evolve from there, based on what you learn at events.

The golden rule which is often forgotten is the sub is in control at all times!!!!! You as a Dominant may have control over her while you are playing but she MUST have a safe word and if she says it, it all stops. Hence, she is in ultimate control. The whole thing is about trusting one another, so basic foundations like this will be a good starting point.

Enjoy! xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all. "

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after

I agree with this in the context of anyone who has got their inspiration from 50 Shades - which is my opinion is a perfect guide for how NOT to behave as a dominant - but for people coming to it naturally - as part of their own sexual growth and experimentation - why is do you feel the need to piss on their attempts to broaden their interests and experiences?

Simply because anybody who really feels themselves to be said 'Dom', wannabe Dom or whatever would surely not feel the need to ask random people questions about it. The OP thread would better suit a 'how to be a cuckolded man' type lifestyle than anything of a Dom variety"

So how would people learn in your elitest world is they couldnt ask questions?

Not everyone is naturally dominant not everyone knows where to go to find this sort of information. It might not work out if it isnt a natural dynamic for the OP but why not let them find out themselves

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit"

Ah, an opinion, not behavioural experience, I see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after

I agree with this in the context of anyone who has got their inspiration from 50 Shades - which is my opinion is a perfect guide for how NOT to behave as a dominant - but for people coming to it naturally - as part of their own sexual growth and experimentation - why is do you feel the need to piss on their attempts to broaden their interests and experiences?

Simply because anybody who really feels themselves to be said 'Dom', wannabe Dom or whatever would surely not feel the need to ask random people questions about it. The OP thread would better suit a 'how to be a cuckolded man' type lifestyle than anything of a Dom variety

So how would people learn in your elitest world is they couldnt ask questions?

Not everyone is naturally dominant not everyone knows where to go to find this sort of information. It might not work out if it isnt a natural dynamic for the OP but why not let them find out themselves"

How is voicing an opinion preventing anybody from doing anything?

My elitist world, ah, you mean a world where I think Dom is a stupid term for probable bullies? I'm about as far from elitist as you can get.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Ah, an opinion, not behavioural experience, I see. "

No, I am not a Dom at all. I'm just a big muscley man who likes women, and swinging with my gorgeous lady. Never had to claim to be a Dom to be able to have great fun with many ladies xx

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Ah, an opinion, not behavioural experience, I see.

No, I am not a Dom at all. I'm just a big muscley man who likes women, and swinging with my gorgeous lady. Never had to claim to be a Dom to be able to have great fun with many ladies xx"

Do you have a lot of opinions about thing you claim not to be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I agree that some bullies and misogynists hide behind the 'dominant' tag.

Implying that all men who are sexually dominant are bullies shows a TOTAL lack of understanding of the D/s dynamic in its healthy, consensual form

It is a huge sweeping statement that shows deep ignorance. and is akin to saying that a husband and wife who swing dont have a strong marriage.

And who said you have to claim you are dominant to have fun - I enjoy Alpha submissive women, Ball breaker types who like strong minded, sexually alpha men. And I have great fun with them. its each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Ah, an opinion, not behavioural experience, I see.

No, I am not a Dom at all. I'm just a big muscley man who likes women, and swinging with my gorgeous lady. Never had to claim to be a Dom to be able to have great fun with many ladies xx

Do you have a lot of opinions about thing you claim not to be?"

I reserve the right to be opinionated about things that annoy me. Doms annoy me. If the Doms actually stood out as anything other than sad and deluded I wouldn't give a toss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I reserve the right to be opinionated about things that annoy me. Doms annoy me. If the Doms actually stood out as anything other than sad and deluded I wouldn't give a toss."

Please feel free to explain that

what makes a dominant sad and deluded?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I reserve the right to be opinionated about things that annoy me. Doms annoy me. If the Doms actually stood out as anything other than sad and deluded I wouldn't give a toss.

Please feel free to explain that

what makes a dominant sad and deluded?"

Hey, I'm sure you've seen the profiles and pictures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you are basing your judgement on a few profiles?

I agree that there are wannabes and people who don't get it is the same for all walks of life.

There are swingers profiles on here for people that don't have a clue, but that doesn't mean that all swingers are sad and deluded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So you are basing your judgement on a few profiles?

I agree that there are wannabes and people who don't get it is the same for all walks of life.

There are swingers profiles on here for people that don't have a clue, but that doesn't mean that all swingers are sad and deluded"

I never said swingers, I said Doms.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Ah, an opinion, not behavioural experience, I see.

No, I am not a Dom at all. I'm just a big muscley man who likes women, and swinging with my gorgeous lady. Never had to claim to be a Dom to be able to have great fun with many ladies xx

Do you have a lot of opinions about thing you claim not to be?

I reserve the right to be opinionated about things that annoy me. Doms annoy me. If the Doms actually stood out as anything other than sad and deluded I wouldn't give a toss."

So, you allow your opinions to annoy you, not very supportive opinions some might say, interesting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you said - I was making a point - you cant say that all doms are sad and deluded just because of a few profiles made by people without a clue.

The OP here asked a question and you pissed on him because you think doms are sad and deluded because you have seen some dodgy profiles

Well done you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Ah, an opinion, not behavioural experience, I see.

No, I am not a Dom at all. I'm just a big muscley man who likes women, and swinging with my gorgeous lady. Never had to claim to be a Dom to be able to have great fun with many ladies xx

Do you have a lot of opinions about thing you claim not to be?

I reserve the right to be opinionated about things that annoy me. Doms annoy me. If the Doms actually stood out as anything other than sad and deluded I wouldn't give a toss.

So, you allow your opinions to annoy you, not very supportive opinions some might say, interesting. "

I'll pretend I understand what you are trying to say and reply that others opinions can annoy me if I find them stupid/distasteful, but that does not mean I don't enjoy hearing/debating said opinions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

referring to his request as 'A load of shite' is not the response of someone looking to foster well balanced debate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know what you said - I was making a point - you cant say that all doms are sad and deluded just because of a few profiles made by people without a clue.

The OP here asked a question and you pissed on him because you think doms are sad and deluded because you have seen some dodgy profiles

Well done you

"

Hey, the more profiles from fat/think weirdos claiming to be doms the better. Leaves more room for genuine and normal people to get seen on the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after

I agree with this in the context of anyone who has got their inspiration from 50 Shades - which is my opinion is a perfect guide for how NOT to behave as a dominant - but for people coming to it naturally - as part of their own sexual growth and experimentation - why is do you feel the need to piss on their attempts to broaden their interests and experiences?

Simply because anybody who really feels themselves to be said 'Dom', wannabe Dom or whatever would surely not feel the need to ask random people questions about it. The OP thread would better suit a 'how to be a cuckolded man' type lifestyle than anything of a Dom variety"

The guys asking for a bit or advice and a push in the right direction, you're clearly offering none of these, why the need for all the negativity

As others have said OP "munches" would be a good bet to get some experience

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By *rincessAdrestiaTV/TS
over a year ago

Reading


"So you are basing your judgement on a few profiles?

I agree that there are wannabes and people who don't get it is the same for all walks of life.

There are swingers profiles on here for people that don't have a clue, but that doesn't mean that all swingers are sad and deluded

I never said swingers, I said Doms."

Missed the point I believe, but never mind. If you form your opinions from a limited selection of data then your opinions carry less weight. That is the point trying to be illustrated.

There are some incredibly amazing Doms (and Dommes) out there that can take you into some fantastic spaces that you didn't know exist. But that requires trust and openness on your part, and it's not an overnight thing.

Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't happen

Having said that, the whole 50 shades of grey thing is quite saddening as it is closer to the story of an abusive relationship rather than a proper D/s one. And quite a few wannabe Doms have taken this as their new bible...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know what you said - I was making a point - you cant say that all doms are sad and deluded just because of a few profiles made by people without a clue.

The OP here asked a question and you pissed on him because you think doms are sad and deluded because you have seen some dodgy profiles

Well done you

Hey, the more profiles from fat/think weirdos claiming to be doms the better. Leaves more room for genuine and normal people to get seen on the site."

Ain't you a cheery soul.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Ah, an opinion, not behavioural experience, I see.

No, I am not a Dom at all. I'm just a big muscley man who likes women, and swinging with my gorgeous lady. Never had to claim to be a Dom to be able to have great fun with many ladies xx

Do you have a lot of opinions about thing you claim not to be?

I reserve the right to be opinionated about things that annoy me. Doms annoy me. If the Doms actually stood out as anything other than sad and deluded I wouldn't give a toss.

So, you allow your opinions to annoy you, not very supportive opinions some might say, interesting.

I'll pretend I understand what you are trying to say and reply that others opinions can annoy me if I find them stupid/distasteful, but that does not mean I don't enjoy hearing/debating said opinions."

So, what criteria do you use in establishing others behaviours are "stupid/distasteful" when you are not basing anything with experience?

Conjecture doesn't, from my perspective, make for good debate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?

"

Like I've said. Be a man. The rest will sort itself out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?

Like I've said. Be a man. The rest will sort itself out."

Define being a man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What has gender got to do with it?

you are not making sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be strong-mentally and physically.

Be a good leader if you have children.

Don't be abusive towards people, especially women and children.

Have a beard.

Never wear lumberjack style shirts unless a lumberjack.

Enjoy manly pursuits-this should not include baking.

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By *rincessAdrestiaTV/TS
over a year ago

Reading


"Be strong-mentally and physically.

Be a good leader if you have children.

Don't be abusive towards people, especially women and children.

Have a beard.

Never wear lumberjack style shirts unless a lumberjack.

Enjoy manly pursuits-this should not include baking.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because we're MEN

We're men in tights

We run around the forest looking for fights

Because we're MEN

manly MEN

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because we're MEN

We're men in tights

We run around the forest looking for fights

Because we're MEN

manly MEN "

Precisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know what you said - I was making a point - you cant say that all doms are sad and deluded just because of a few profiles made by people without a clue.

The OP here asked a question and you pissed on him because you think doms are sad and deluded because you have seen some dodgy profiles

Well done you

Hey, the more profiles from fat/think weirdos claiming to be doms the better. Leaves more room for genuine and normal people to get seen on the site."

Are you saying Doms aren't normal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know what you said - I was making a point - you cant say that all doms are sad and deluded just because of a few profiles made by people without a clue.

The OP here asked a question and you pissed on him because you think doms are sad and deluded because you have seen some dodgy profiles

Well done you

Hey, the more profiles from fat/think weirdos claiming to be doms the better. Leaves more room for genuine and normal people to get seen on the site.

Are you saying Doms aren't normal?"

No, just ridiculous for the most part, but perfectly normal. Their is a rich tapestry of life, especially on here, and al of to perfectly normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be strong-mentally and physically.

Be a good leader if you have children.

Don't be abusive towards people, especially women and children.

Have a beard.

Never wear lumberjack style shirts unless a lumberjack.

Enjoy manly pursuits-this should not include baking.

"

Be strong mentally? Seems quite damming to anyone with mental health issues?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Be strong-mentally and physically.

Be a good leader if you have children.

Don't be abusive towards people, especially women and children.

Have a beard.

Never wear lumberjack style shirts unless a lumberjack.

Enjoy manly pursuits-this should not include baking.

Be strong mentally? Seems quite damming to anyone with mental health issues? "

Only if you choose to believe that people struggling with mental health issues are not mentally strong.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?

Like I've said. Be a man. The rest will sort itself out."

Have to say.. For the most, can't agree with you enough. " I am want to being a dom very much too "

Pleasingsinglys thankings lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?"

If little old me can Domme a guy taller and fiercer than me... it's got nowt to do with muscles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

2. Balloon - you can pop them and make her jump or play with static electricity

"

I like to make balloon animals and torment my partner with them. And then shove them up her arse.

Erotic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

WOW, well firstly I'll start by saying thankyou for all the amazing advice. It has helped.

Secondly, I'll address the negative comments. It's just abit of fun. Abit of roleplay. You never know we might try it and not like it, we might love it though and decide to delve deeper into the bdsm world.

Also, about not being a man hmmm, well does going to war for your country make you a man? Fighting an enemy that wants to kill you and knowing that the next step you take could be your last, that make me a man? Or a sad little fat weirdo as you make out??

I've probably done and been through a hell of a lot more than you will in the next 50 years of your life.

Nobody asked you to come here and be negative about people who choose a certain life style.

People tar swingers with the same brush don't they? Weird, ugly fat couples with no morals etc. can I call you that?

Didn't think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

2. Balloon - you can pop them and make her jump or play with static electricity

I like to make balloon animals and torment my partner with them. And then shove them up her arse.

And when she farts does she go squeeky with the helium?

Erotic."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's just silly.

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

It seems I'm a weirdo...Well I embrace my weirdness! hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That's just silly."

But a putting a balloon giraffe up someones bum isn't?

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

There is a lovely well equipped fetish studio in bristol you can hire I would be able to join you there to offer guidance and assistance and show you the ropes

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By *ayandess1Couple
over a year ago

bridgwater


"WOW, well firstly I'll start by saying thankyou for all the amazing advice. It has helped.

Secondly, I'll address the negative comments. It's just abit of fun. Abit of roleplay. You never know we might try it and not like it, we might love it though and decide to delve deeper into the bdsm world.

Also, about not being a man hmmm, well does going to war for your country make you a man? Fighting an enemy that wants to kill you and knowing that the next step you take could be your last, that make me a man? Or a sad little fat weirdo as you make out??

I've probably done and been through a hell of a lot more than you will in the next 50 years of your life.

Nobody asked you to come here and be negative about people who choose a certain life style.

People tar swingers with the same brush don't they? Weird, ugly fat couples with no morals etc. can I call you that?

Didn't think so"

Fucking bravo!!!

If that dont work then nothing will. Fair play to you.

Start small, no one can tell you what to do except your wife. Afterall your playing this game for her.

We have been in a d/s relationship for years and are heavily involved with the scene and the most important piece of advice i can give you is - listen to your misses.

I dont mean just hear her, i mean really really listen to what she wants,likes, desires. Then read between the lines.

Balloon popping is great unless she is one of those people who are terrified of balloons. (Dont laugh, it happens)

Your mission is to make your wife happy, the only person who can tell you how to do that is your wife.

Ask her what turns her on, what gets her going, what she thinks about when her eyes are closed and your fucking her.

All the answers are there, you just need to listen.

Sometimes setting homework is good. Get her to write out her deepest fantasies.

If you get it right, its amazing how quickly those get replaced with new ones.

As an experienced Dom/ugly/fat person thats the best advice i can give.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/01/15 10:46:07]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its something you know, not something you learn.

You can fake it, but its easy to spot.

Sorry mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know what you said - I was making a point - you cant say that all doms are sad and deluded just because of a few profiles made by people without a clue.

The OP here asked a question and you pissed on him because you think doms are sad and deluded because you have seen some dodgy profiles

Well done you

"

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I can see no problem asking for behaviour advise, this in no way is an identity statement, well that is unless you know it all.

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit"

Really we couldn't tell.

If you don't like it don't hijack a thread about it.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

It's interesting to note that someone who seems to set great store in 'being a man' has managed to come across as completely immature.

You are what you post, as they say!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I reserve the right to be opinionated about things that annoy me. Doms annoy me. If the Doms actually stood out as anything other than sad and deluded I wouldn't give a toss."

people who are rude and arrogant annoy me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

to the op:

there are some good books on the market. maybe it would be good to get the background and the whole idea first. because it is so much more behind it.

and I like the advice someone gave here about going to an event and watch and learn and get inspired.

I might do that too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite"

Mmm prepare yourselves for the onslaught after that bloody film is released

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just begun to read that book to see why people went crazy for it. never finished reading it because I found it terribly boring and empty.

not all the people who are interested in that topic are just stupid mainstream people who have no idea about anything.

some people in here should think about their manners and if their arrogance and feeling superior to other people is really needed in here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"WOW, well firstly I'll start by saying thankyou for all the amazing advice. It has helped.

Secondly, I'll address the negative comments. It's just abit of fun. Abit of roleplay. You never know we might try it and not like it, we might love it though and decide to delve deeper into the bdsm world.

Also, about not being a man hmmm, well does going to war for your country make you a man? Fighting an enemy that wants to kill you and knowing that the next step you take could be your last, that make me a man? Or a sad little fat weirdo as you make out??

I've probably done and been through a hell of a lot more than you will in the next 50 years of your life.

Nobody asked you to come here and be negative about people who choose a certain life style.

People tar swingers with the same brush don't they? Weird, ugly fat couples with no morals etc. can I call you that?

Didn't think so

Fucking bravo!!!

If that dont work then nothing will. Fair play to you.

Start small, no one can tell you what to do except your wife. Afterall your playing this game for her.

We have been in a d/s relationship for years and are heavily involved with the scene and the most important piece of advice i can give you is - listen to your misses.

I dont mean just hear her, i mean really really listen to what she wants,likes, desires. Then read between the lines.

Balloon popping is great unless she is one of those people who are terrified of balloons. (Dont laugh, it happens)

Your mission is to make your wife happy, the only person who can tell you how to do that is your wife.

Ask her what turns her on, what gets her going, what she thinks about when her eyes are closed and your fucking her.

All the answers are there, you just need to listen.

Sometimes setting homework is good. Get her to write out her deepest fantasies.

If you get it right, its amazing how quickly those get replaced with new ones.

As an experienced Dom/ugly/fat person thats the best advice i can give. "

Brilliant post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh, another man talking about 'domming'. What a complete load of shite

why's that?

The sudden fascination with being Dom, whatever the fuck that means. I'd say that some men should focus on being men first, and worry about the rest after"

haha

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge


"WOW, well firstly I'll start by saying thankyou for all the amazing advice. It has helped.

Secondly, I'll address the negative comments. It's just abit of fun. Abit of roleplay. You never know we might try it and not like it, we might love it though and decide to delve deeper into the bdsm world.

Also, about not being a man hmmm, well does going to war for your country make you a man? Fighting an enemy that wants to kill you and knowing that the next step you take could be your last, that make me a man? Or a sad little fat weirdo as you make out??

I've probably done and been through a hell of a lot more than you will in the next 50 years of your life.

Nobody asked you to come here and be negative about people who choose a certain life style.

People tar swingers with the same brush don't they? Weird, ugly fat couples with no morals etc. can I call you that?

Didn't think so

Fucking bravo!!!

If that dont work then nothing will. Fair play to you.

Start small, no one can tell you what to do except your wife. Afterall your playing this game for her.

We have been in a d/s relationship for years and are heavily involved with the scene and the most important piece of advice i can give you is - listen to your misses.

I dont mean just hear her, i mean really really listen to what she wants,likes, desires. Then read between the lines.

Balloon popping is great unless she is one of those people who are terrified of balloons. (Dont laugh, it happens)

Your mission is to make your wife happy, the only person who can tell you how to do that is your wife.

Ask her what turns her on, what gets her going, what she thinks about when her eyes are closed and your fucking her.

All the answers are there, you just need to listen.

Sometimes setting homework is good. Get her to write out her deepest fantasies.

If you get it right, its amazing how quickly those get replaced with new ones.

As an experienced Dom/ugly/fat person thats the best advice i can give.

Brilliant post.

"

spot on from another fat/ugly/misogynistic/woman-hating/bully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I just begun to read that book to see why people went crazy for it. never finished reading it because I found it terribly boring and empty.

not all the people who are interested in that topic are just stupid mainstream people who have no idea about anything.

some people in here should think about their manners and if their arrogance and feeling superior to other people is really needed in here."

50 shades is woefully written and not even remotely indicative of the bdsm world in general.

I'd liken it to the swingers in the show benidorm, crude, one dimensional caricatures written by people who likely have very little insight...

But hey that's just my opinion

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester


"I would like some advice on how to dominate my wife in the bedroom, we have rope, blindfold, dildos and lube.

I want to do it properly so thought I would see if there is any experts on here "

Not a expert but experienced. Research kinbuku and Shibari for rope play, I personally prefer Shibari and western style ropework.

look for single and double column ties.i can provide links just not on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like some advice on how to dominate my wife in the bedroom, we have rope, blindfold, dildos and lube.

I want to do it properly so thought I would see if there is any experts on here "

Try fetlife.

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By *isexmistressWoman
over a year ago

Prestwich

Get her the paperback version of `The storey of O ` for her birthday..

Then ask her what she thought after

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense."

Just to address this point for any submissives worried about spotting the wannabes when they come charging through the door post 50 Shades film release.

If you are curious about BDSM because of 50 Shades please please please talk to someone who knows the scene before you look for your ‘Mr Grey’ Feel free to message me and I will discuss just how wrong it all is and point you in the direction of sources of information you can use to learn how BDSM, domination and submission SHOULD be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would like some advice on how to dominate my wife in the bedroom, we have rope, blindfold, dildos and lube.

I want to do it properly so thought I would see if there is any experts on here "

I would suggest going on a site for doms/subs and getting your information from someone with proper experience

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By *awkesWoman
over a year ago

Corwen


"Get her the paperback version of `The storey of O ` for her birthday..

Then ask her what she thought after "

That's exactly what a Dominant told me to do a long time ago. Thinking back on it...He was one of the most caring, attractive , healthy looking persons I've had the pleasure to meet without any ego and he was very much a man... lol. Plus we had a very interesting discussion on the book and how it made me feel and why.. which furnished him with deeper understanding of me. Which is the sign of a fantastic man. ...of course.. only my opinion based on 15 years.

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By *aeganaWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

I started in the bdsm lifestyle when I was 15 im sub naturally. joining fab helped me find a midpoint so I now enjoy my kink still but enjoy the social and also fun carefree sex also. With bdsm start off light don't throw your mrs into the deep end as it will just scare her off and yes it can cause psychological damage ive had bad experiences from those bullies who hide themselves under the term dom and trust me it is not pleasant so I can see why some don't like the whole aspect. Find her limits have fun with it my personal favourite is forced orgasms sometimes pleasure can be turned into punishment hehe. Floggers are good to start with instead of whips and canes soft hits with a flogger to heighten the senses and then more if she asks for it. Also like townhouse said go to events and watch ask the professionals for advise and watch others playing get involved and have fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?"

Personally I think it has a lot to do with sexual confidence and a far more mental than physical.

Being Dominant and being a Dom are to seperate things IMHO.

Try watch dominant porn together,talk about what parts your partner liked and found a turn on then gradually introduce it into play.

Your not going to turn dominant over night but exploring and experimenting it together should be a great experience for you both.

Have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is the 2nd time you have refereed to physicality when it talking about domination.

You do know that it has nothing to do with physical size or strength dont you?

Personally I think it has a lot to do with sexual confidence and a far more mental than physical.

Being Dominant and being a Dom are to seperate things IMHO.

Try watch dominant porn together,talk about what parts your partner liked and found a turn on then gradually introduce it into play.

Your not going to turn dominant over night but exploring and experimenting it together should be a great experience for you both.

Have fun "

Forgot the , and some shocking spelling errors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good advice sub fi

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit"

Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense."

Nonsense on here?!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"I would like some advice on how to dominate my wife in the bedroom, we have rope, blindfold, dildos and lube.

I want to do it properly so thought I would see if there is any experts on here "

There is no 'right' way. Well, only the way your wife wants to be 'controlled'. If she does, of course. Or is this something you want/feel the need to do.

Find out what what 'does' it for her. In my limited experience - it's predominantly in the mind - with the 'implementation' simply augmenting that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it is "

How can someone's opinion be wrong? It is their opinion and it may differ from yours, doesn't make it wrong though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is an interesting thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are books 'the loving dominant' for instance....plenty of others available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very very interesting thread for many reasons.

Having been with my man for many years where he takes a Dom role automatically it really does interest me the opinion of people who really don't understand the concept, nor care for it but feel their nasty comments are of any use or value.

Good people on here have given great and supportive advice to the OP. If it's not their thing, don't comment!!

But I can assure people of the same view my man is Dom and a beautiful gent too.

I really hope the OP takes his time a relishes the enjoyment Dom/sub can bring.

Mrs x

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By *mmabluTV/TS
over a year ago

upton wirral


"Oh dear..... Whilst there are, undoubtedly a few real/genuone/experienced doms on here, the site is currently flooded with wannabes whose sole experience comes from fifty shades etc.

Good luck sorting the wheat from the chaff. Prepare for some total nonsense.

lol...I agree! As allways very wise

However, Lady C of Drastic Fantastic pro dungeon here....15 years experience

I started out by going to invite only events as there weren't many or any public events back then. You should try 'munches' which are social gatherings for BDSM players to share experience, interests and basically get a feel for what it's really like to Dominate.

You should then think about attending a BDSM event in a club, where there are DM's (Dungeon Masters/Mistresses) who will be happy to advise and you can see other people at 'play'. Watch and learn is my best advice. Start off simple with your partner, with tie and tease maybe and then evolve from there, based on what you learn at events.

The golden rule which is often forgotten is the sub is in control at all times!!!!! You as a Dominant may have control over her while you are playing but she MUST have a safe word and if she says it, it all stops. Hence, she is in ultimate control. The whole thing is about trusting one another, so basic foundations like this will be a good starting point.

Enjoy! xx"
As allways very wise Mistress

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By *g99Couple
over a year ago

s

Thankyou everyone for the great advice, we dipped our toes last night.

It was great fun, and we both really enjoyed it.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it is

How can someone's opinion be wrong? It is their opinion and it may differ from yours, doesn't make it wrong though "

So if someone is of the opinion that one plus one equals three you wouldn't say they are wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/02/15 12:38:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it is

How can someone's opinion be wrong? It is their opinion and it may differ from yours, doesn't make it wrong though

So if someone is of the opinion that one plus one equals three you wouldn't say they are wrong?"

The answer to that equation is a fact and having an opinion on that fact does not come into it unless you are going to get abstract. A foot equals twelve inches is also a fact. I do not have a different opinion on this.

We are talking about a lifestyle that many have very differing opinions over. Are you really that obtuse? So according to you one can have only the right opinion about something? Recycling, lesbianism, the Islamic state, anal sex, I could go on forever? There is only one correct opinion on all these things?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it is

How can someone's opinion be wrong? It is their opinion and it may differ from yours, doesn't make it wrong though

So if someone is of the opinion that one plus one equals three you wouldn't say they are wrong?

The answer to that equation is a fact and having an opinion on that fact does not come into it unless you are going to get abstract. A foot equals twelve inches is also a fact. I do not have a different opinion on this.

We are talking about a lifestyle that many have very differing opinions over. Are you really that obtuse? So according to you one can have only the right opinion about something? Recycling, lesbianism, the Islamic state, anal sex, I could go on forever? There is only one correct opinion on all these things? "

So are you saying that my opinion, that his opinion is wrong, is in fact wrong?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it is

How can someone's opinion be wrong? It is their opinion and it may differ from yours, doesn't make it wrong though

So if someone is of the opinion that one plus one equals three you wouldn't say they are wrong?

The answer to that equation is a fact and having an opinion on that fact does not come into it unless you are going to get abstract. A foot equals twelve inches is also a fact. I do not have a different opinion on this.

We are talking about a lifestyle that many have very differing opinions over. Are you really that obtuse? So according to you one can have only the right opinion about something? Recycling, lesbianism, the Islamic state, anal sex, I could go on forever? There is only one correct opinion on all these things?

So are you saying that my opinion, that his opinion is wrong, is in fact wrong?"

You didn't say it was your opinion, you stated it as a fact. Anyway I'm not going to be drawn into a pedantic squabble, have better things to do

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"

Hey, just my opinion. I personally reject the very concept of Dom-sub as utter bullshit

Everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how wrong it is

How can someone's opinion be wrong? It is their opinion and it may differ from yours, doesn't make it wrong though

So if someone is of the opinion that one plus one equals three you wouldn't say they are wrong?

The answer to that equation is a fact and having an opinion on that fact does not come into it unless you are going to get abstract. A foot equals twelve inches is also a fact. I do not have a different opinion on this.

We are talking about a lifestyle that many have very differing opinions over. Are you really that obtuse? So according to you one can have only the right opinion about something? Recycling, lesbianism, the Islamic state, anal sex, I could go on forever? There is only one correct opinion on all these things?

So are you saying that my opinion, that his opinion is wrong, is in fact wrong?

You didn't say it was your opinion, you stated it as a fact. Anyway I'm not going to be drawn into a pedantic squabble, have better things to do "

Well I typed so who else's opinion would it be?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Thankyou everyone for the great advice, we dipped our toes last night.

It was great fun, and we both really enjoyed it. "

I'm hoping to try it tonight, you guys are local message me and let me know what happened

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