FabSwingers.com forum: choosing guys for mmf

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi...we are still new to this so just wanted advice from couples on choosing the right guy for a mmf...any help appreciated x

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

We spoke to one guy for over a year but now we meet regular.

Being able to be comfortable is what is important for us

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

Depends what you're looking for but check how old their pics are and what experience they have. Some people say anything to get a meet.

If it sounds suss try someone else. There are good guys out there you just have to find them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking as a guy. Look for verified experiences with other couples . Look at the profiles of the other couples too as a kind of back up verification. Are they similar in outlook to you etc? (Eg. any cuckold or bi play involved etc. if thats what you also seek).

A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/01/15 08:26:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Speaking as a guy. Look for verified experiences with other couples . Look at the profiles of the other couples too as a kind of back up verification. Are they similar in outlook to you etc? (Eg. any cuckold or bi play involved etc. if thats what you also seek).

A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans."

Spot on

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans.

Spot on

as a single male who has been chosen for mmf by a couple of couples, I couldn't agree more

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By *arewithmeMan
over a year ago

Craven Arms

A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans.

Spot on

as a single male who has been chosen for mmf by a couple of couples, I couldn't agree more"

Gets a thumbs up from me as well

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Definitely looks for experience in mmf or group situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure they are definitely male,a lot of females on here pretending to be guys

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"Hi...we are still new to this so just wanted advice from couples on choosing the right guy for a mmf...any help appreciated x"
. Use the search facility and enter your age preferences etc. Eliminate poorly written profiles and those with no pictures unless you have already eliminated those when searching .As you would expect members to have other interests outside fab , eliminate those with no hobbies or interests . You will be left with lots of results , so maybe search again to find those who are closest to you. Use common sense to ensure that all the information in the profile stacks up. Contact your potential meet and request a phone number in order that you can assess their attitude and check out the profile information . Verifications can be meaningless as they all usually say the same thing , and if you had a really good meet , why would you ask someone to write what is in effect a reference

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By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

andover

hi from a female point of view, we enjoy a mmf and always pick a guy that suit us both which is not as easy as it sound, but hay you have a full pond it pick from , take your time and make sure he's the one..Connie x

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

A bit of prior research saves wasted time in email ping pong with the wrong mans.

Spot on

as a single male who has been chosen for mmf by a couple of couples, I couldn't agree more

Gets a thumbs up from me as well

Plus one more

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the help guys x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First as your profile says the male is straight are you really looking for a Bi guy to join you?

For our last 2 MFMs neither of the guys were verified, we picked them for there profile, and after chatting, meet for a social. when off and chatted for a couple of days, then invited them to ours :-0

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

Perhaps the best way of meeting a single guy is to visit a club. There is plenty of opportunity there to socialise and chat without any pressure - and you will always find one (or more!) willing to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Make sure they are definitely male,a lot of females on here pretending to be guys

Lmfao

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By *hapeShiftersCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We can usually tell from their profile and the quality of messages if it's someone we'd like to meet.

Single sentence messages and lots of inane questions being batted back and forth generally don't fill us with confidence.

Lots of chat/messaging beforehand has always been our screening process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take your time, you bothr need to have a connection with him... make sure you have common intetests other than fab..... Finding a single male is not as easy as you would think......

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

"Perhaps the best way of meeting a single guy is to visit a club. There is plenty of opportunity there to socialise and chat without any pressure - and you will always find one (or more!) willing to play. "

^^^ This

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Plenty of men to choose from. So spend some time filtering and choose a good one. Then have a social. Then decide if you want sex with him.

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

Chatting on fab is all good and well.

Sooner or later you,ll need to meet face to face it,s the only sure way.

Then you know for sure who your dealing with and not a fake, time waster.

Just a social, can brief a quick coffee or a relaxed meal.

Remember that single guy only has si much patience to you know, so a year sounds rather long time to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Make sure they are definitely male,a lot of females on here pretending to be guys

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By *supwanted03Couple
over a year ago

Sheffield

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

A track record is important. Something I would be interested in but when asked I have always said that I cannot guarantee I would perform as never had this experience before.

I am honest about it as I am not sure I would be happy to cross swords.

I suppose I will have to bite the bullet one day

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

Id say meet them for a social tyPe chat first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi...we are still new to this so just wanted advice from couples on choosing the right guy for a mmf...any help appreciated x"

Write the names down and pick them out of a hat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We can usually tell from their profile and the quality of messages if it's someone we'd like to meet.

Single sentence messages and lots of inane questions being batted back and forth generally don't fill us with confidence.

Lots of chat/messaging beforehand has always been our screening process. "

This

It is however a lot harder than you would believe as you have to eliminate the Unlos dreamers from the ones who are serious.

We adopt the hunter approach now rather than advertise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just remember, the guys with sky remotes in the pics are genuine and hide nothing about their size

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do most couples look for MMF only?

I am keen to find a scenario where male half of the couple is not involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We adopt the hunter approach now rather than advertise. "

crazysexycool - with the hunter approach, what is the key thing which catches your eye first of all in a profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We can usually tell from their profile and the quality of messages if it's someone we'd like to meet.

Single sentence messages and lots of inane questions being batted back and forth generally don't fill us with confidence.

Lots of chat/messaging beforehand has always been our screening process.

This

It is however a lot harder than you would believe as you have to eliminate the Unlos dreamers from the ones who are serious.

We adopt the hunter approach now rather than advertise. "

Posing as prey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been chosen to play with couples in the same situation you are looking for, from my experience, messages were exchanged, a social meet before thinking about playing.

Look at verifications, see how many couples have verified, some men are unable to perform in front of others, check the scenarios, were they similar to what you are looking for.

Find someone you are both comfortable with. Someone you can laugh with, sometimes things go laughably wrong.

Above all, find someone who knows that no, means no! If you change your minds, for whatever reason, he will need to respect your wishes.

It doesn't have to happen overnight, be prepared to wait for the right person.

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By *edeyeMan
over a year ago

London

All well and good talking about experience but everyone has had to start somewhere.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"All well and good talking about experience but everyone has had to start somewhere. "

absolutely... but rather than jumping in with two feet which seems to be the norm now, i dipped in a toe... i did my research, i got a feel for the website and all the tools that could possibly help me.... I looked at the mistakes others made, took in the good bits, swore i would never do the bad....

so i chatted to people, i went to socials and actually met people so they knew me, and kept me in mind for other things.....

and so on and so on....

the site is just one part of the jigsaw... the problem is some think its the be all and end all......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is that if you are not interested in very experienced women/couples who have lots of verification/feedback, then you are pretty much stuck. This is because if you start talking with someone with no verifications in many cases they could appear to be fakes just enjoying themselves.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"The problem is that if you are not interested in very experienced women/couples who have lots of verification/feedback, then you are pretty much stuck. "

but now you are casting aspirations based of what you may not know...

So how many verifications is too many?

over what period of time?

does it matter if the verifications are social for example, rather than play?

do they all count the same in your eyes?

so whats the right amount in the world of "charming lover"

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By *uzanne and RickyCouple
over a year ago

Midlothian

Have a social meet.it's essential you all get along and know any boundaries. He could sound perfect, look perfect but when you meet you may not click. Oh and make sure it's fun for all, have a laugh, it's all about the fun.

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By *moothies.Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

I've been searching for someone that hits my phwoar factor for ages. It makes the sex so much more enjoyable..... I just can define what it is to explain though. Mrs Smoothie

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

I look for a sense of humour. Someone who is a nice guy. Getting involved on the forums is a good way to notice a nice guy. Then start chatting on here. Works for me.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"Have a social meet.it's essential you all get along and know any boundaries. He could sound perfect, look perfect but when you meet you may not click. Oh and make sure it's fun for all, have a laugh, it's all about the fun.

The different approaches are really interesting. We find the last thing we want is a social meet - guess it's why we prefer clubs where we can just get down to the no strings sex. We have never been disappointed as the men always seem very keen to please. However we do agree entirely that it has to be fun for all concerned.

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

When Kim meets single guys for MMF fun she usually asks friends who tell her about guys they have met etc, we have made some really good friends over the years that not only swing with us but are also studs in a lot of our films.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't consider such without actually getting to know them really. Prefer couple play as any dynamic of play can be fulfilled

However, and only on the off chance that we happened to bump into a guy at a club whom we get on with and by chance have had the opportunity to get to know, then we would possibly want to have a play....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of good advice on here but like all situations how it turns out depends on the meet.

You will be very lucky if on your first mfm you find the perfect guy. We have had quite a few mfm and mmfm meets and now know 2 or 3 guys that we like and who can ensure Kat is well satisfied.

So don't be put off if the first meet is not what you wanted or get all stary eyed because it went well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's not easy.

but I guess we have finally found the perfect someone.

trust your gut instinct!

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By *anfiona2Couple
over a year ago

ramsgate

We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man

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By *lactontogMan
over a year ago

Clacton on Sea

"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man

Looking the way you do i find that hard to believe, Kim usually meets guys at clubs,shoots or word of mouth etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man

"
on your profile it says no single men maybe alter that?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man

on your profile it says no single men maybe alter that?"

or maybe they are wanting to do the choosing as opposed to every chancer messaging them.... in which case keep it

we always encourage people that if they are after someone specific... be to hunters and do the chasing

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By *anfiona2Couple
over a year ago

ramsgate

[Removed by poster at 15/02/15 13:44:50]

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By *anfiona2Couple
over a year ago

ramsgate

"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man

Looking the way you do i find that hard to believe, Kim usually meets guys at clubs,shoots or word of mouth etc.

Thank you

Clubs and single guys not for us as we'd like a social first when it comes to single guys

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By *anfiona2Couple
over a year ago

ramsgate

"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man

on your profile it says no single men maybe alter that?"

This is a very new thing

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By *anfiona2Couple
over a year ago

ramsgate

"We are thinking about having our first mmf but are finding it very difficult to find the right man

on your profile it says no single men maybe alter that?

or maybe they are wanting to do the choosing as opposed to every chancer messaging them.... in which case keep it

we always encourage people that if they are after someone specific... be to hunters and do the chasing"

That's just what we were thinking

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Thank you

Clubs and single guys not for us as we'd like a social first when it comes to single guys"

and who says that you can't just talk to guys in a club?

just because you are at a club you are not oblieged to play with everyone as soon as you get in..... if men are prepared to talk to get to know you, they aren't for you full stop.. that isn't venue dependant!

its like a little mindset adjustment is needed in perception to clubs, in that they are no different to any other setting in that if you want to get to know people.... you can get to know people!

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By *anfiona2Couple
over a year ago

ramsgate

Thank you

Clubs and single guys not for us as we'd like a social first when it comes to single guys

and who says that you can't just talk to guys in a club?

its like a little mindset adjustment is needed in perception to clubs, in that they are no different to any other setting in that if you want to get to know people.... you can get to know people!"

Indeed and we do go to clubs regularly but only meet or go with other couples and have witnessed some poor behaviour by single guys following people around in packs, waiting for their opportunity to pounce and think to ourselves are they the type who would be up for just a chat or are they the type we'd want to play with? Not saying all men are like that of course!

That's why we are looking for a social at a pub and seeing where it goes even if that means nothing happens that night and a further date is arranged

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