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Mixed BDSM Swing Event

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By *atasha_David OP   Couple
over a year ago

Slough

On another site aimed at those with a Fet Lifestyle there have been a couple of threads recently about the possibility of events deliberately promoted at those interested in mixing BDSM and Swinging.

Although many people replied in favour of such events existing it also became obvious many felt the two tastes were not always good together.

If such an event ran what would Fabbers recommend to ensure that there were no problems?

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

I'd guess being clear upfront about what it was going to be, and the rules. Some BDSM events are strictly no penetration...

I don't use fab for the sub/dom aspects of my life - I think its way more about trust and respect, where fab is swinging - so to me a different level.

But I am not interested in the fet sites either as I found them to be full of pushy, arrogant men who believed they knew what I like better than me.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Kink at the Attic have run their events before the swinging night at the Attic in Derby. I'd like to see more integration of the interests, as I don't feel that they are mutually incompatible at all. Even if you have little interest in one, it's not only polite to live and let live, but it is quite nice to broaden one's horizons.

The last time these events ran on the same night when I was there, some of the swingers muttered about it was time Kink had gone, and a lot of the kink peeps walked around in a phalanx. There wasn't as much crossover as I'd have liked to have seen.

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By *ownhouseTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Birkenhead/Liverpool

We have been running very successful '50 Shades - Swinging meets BDSM' event for 2 years. In fact the next one is 23rd Jan! We invite fetishists along to demo, play publicly and be prepared to answer any questions swingers may have and the swingers have a chance to take part if they wish. It's one of our busiest Friday events and is well respected on 'the scene'

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By *iccardaTV/TS
over a year ago

Wallasey

The 50 shades night are a scream lots of BDSM types out to corrupt the poor innocent swingers, by the end of the night there is that much shagging going on i am always convinced its the swingers doing the corrupting lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abfabs HDZ is the best fetish swinging event I've found so far. One issue is bdsm events have one entry price and most swinging events charge single guys much more. The cross over here does cause issues as I know many bdsm couples/singles swing but this cost puts people off.

Also non bdsm people sorry many single guys don't know bdsm boundaries, so you may get a random wandering through a scene or trying to touch. This has got much better at Abfabs I have to say but still it does happen so moderations DMs would need to be present as most bdsm nights. Maybe offer a member ship for true bdsm people who go to bdsm events and are members?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have our feet in both camps, we would love this kind of event!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

seeing the threads on the other site im staying out of it

but im both x

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

There's a bdsm/ fetish night tonight at OP4f it seems to be a good night for the people who crossover.

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By *elsh_lass74Woman
over a year ago

South Wales

I would love to attend an event just to look as it really interests me.

Not sure anything exists in the south Wales area.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On another site aimed at those with a Fet Lifestyle there have been a couple of threads recently about the possibility of events deliberately promoted at those interested in mixing BDSM and Swinging.

Although many people replied in favour of such events existing it also became obvious many felt the two tastes were not always good together.

If such an event ran what would Fabbers recommend to ensure that there were no problems?"

Crossover Events were more than accepted in years gone by club flesh, the origional torture garden, indecent exposure, submission etc ,the gate to name a minor few

those clubs were forced by the authorities to change tack

peeps simply chose to do there own thing, nobody was offended

or complained

we attended everything and anything fetish in london early 90s/2004 and at every event it was ok to crossover, whereas now its Forbidden in most venues that have open door policies.

There were no problems then

and should be no real issues now apart from the BDSM fashion strutting brigade getting all flustered

its "same ole" "same ole" if you dont like what you see change channels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have our feet in both camps, we would love this kind of event!"

New to bdsm but we agree xx

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By *atasha_David OP   Couple
over a year ago

Slough


"One issue is bdsm events have one entry price and most swinging events charge single guys much more. The cross over here does cause issues as I know many bdsm couples/singles swing but this cost puts people off.

"

I think the answer might be to treat them like socials and to guest list them so that the balance could be got right and membership for the night is not an issue.


"

Also non bdsm people sorry many single guys don't know bdsm boundaries, so you may get a random wandering through a scene or trying to touch."

We have found females to be as much of a problem as men.


"This has got much better at Abfabs I have to say but still it does happen so moderations DMs would need to be present as most bdsm nights. "

I have not been to a HDZ since they started to employ a DM but understand from others it has really helped which in turn is helping to improve its kink reputation.

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By *ouble_The_DelightCouple
over a year ago

Wakefield

We have our feet in both camps also but we have been i to the BDSM scene for a number of years, we find that most swingers are interested in how we play and we are happy to answer there questions and even let them have a try of certain things if they wish to have a go, swingers do find it strange that most of the BDSM play in public does not involve sex even penetration with toys as it is kept for indoors or private parties.

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By *arry On ShaggingCouple
over a year ago

Betley

Adventures are having a twilight night which is the same principle mixed BDSM with swinging should be a good night and loads already on the guest list. First one is the beginning of March xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been to a decent amount of BDSM/Swing crossover events and I'd welcome more.

I think a decent set of rules is worth having though. For instance last year I had a great scene at one of these events (I think it was at Liberties) where two of my partners and I were playing together. We were well away in our own little world when suddenly a swing couple started chatting to the DJ VERY loudly behind us and it basically just ruined the moment completely and we didn't get back into it again for the rest of the night really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have been running very successful '50 Shades - Swinging meets BDSM' event for 2 years. In fact the next one is 23rd Jan! We invite fetishists along to demo, play publicly and be prepared to answer any questions swingers may have and the swingers have a chance to take part if they wish. It's one of our busiest Friday events and is well respected on 'the scene'"

I have the kids that weekend. Really hope you do one sometime when i'm child-free!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

The Vanilla Alternative is hosting a cross over event on the 11th of February called Red Velvet. I'm hopefully going to be there as I love the club and kink.

They will even have wax play.

I know these kind of crossover events are not for everyone, I do find they work well for me though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We also have a foot in both camps and we are more than happy for curious types to have a guided practice when we're playing that way at Chams, it happens quite regularly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other concern is that we play quite heavily at clubs. Sometimes even fellow kinksters can interpret heavy play as genuine abuse. How would your average non-kinky swinger couple feel about that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps on the crossover nights, there could be easily identified rooms where the levels of play are clear and then they can make their own minds up to enter or not?

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

I've always found Club Lash to be quite tolerant - well that was a few years ago x

I know the gatehouse has a dungeon room and I've seen swinging couples play nice bdsm x

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"We have been running very successful '50 Shades - Swinging meets BDSM' event for 2 years. In fact the next one is 23rd Jan! We invite fetishists along to demo, play publicly and be prepared to answer any questions swingers may have and the swingers have a chance to take part if they wish. It's one of our busiest Friday events and is well respected on 'the scene'"

And as a person who crossed over to bdsm from the swing scene many years ago, may l say what an absolute pleasure it is to attend your fet nights.

In all honesty, l had my doubts it would work. Bdsm comes in many levels and most people do not engage in sexual scening. I have yet to find any of my Domme friends offer sex..even thinking about that makes me laugh at the reaction you would get if you asked. Nope, many are purists.

However, that said their are many, myself and her included who have a sex kink need that likes to be fed occasionally. Where better then to take her to TH, who in my professional and personal opinion seem to know and have the ability to please everyone.

Follow a ykiok school of open mind ( your kink is ok ) follow consensual agreement, maintain a curious mind, play/scene at a level you are comfortable with and you will find pleasure in all things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have our feet in both camps also but we have been i to the BDSM scene for a number of years, we find that most swingers are interested in how we play and we are happy to answer there questions and even let them have a try of certain things if they wish to have a go, swingers do find it strange that most of the BDSM play in public does not involve sex even penetration with toys as it is kept for indoors or private parties. "

Is there a middle ground? We went to a BDSM event yesterday.... interesting but disappointing (for me).

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts


"

Is there a middle ground? We went to a BDSM event yesterday.... interesting but disappointing (for me). "

That sounds like a shame

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By *nttake2Couple
over a year ago

South

Just run it, turn up, and see what happens, everyone can look after their own patch as they see fit. What rules are there, who sets them, who agrees to bound by them??? Less talk more play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is there a middle ground? We went to a BDSM event yesterday.... interesting but disappointing (for me).

That sounds like a shame "

Not a total disaster, he loved it. I must be ok.

To be fair I had no idea what to expect. x

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By *dam and slutCouple
over a year ago

Manchester


"Just run it, turn up, and see what happens, everyone can look after their own patch as they see fit. What rules are there, who sets them, who agrees to bound by them??? Less talk more play. "

Good question. With bdsm and a events, usually play areas are roped of those wishing to play. Rules usually enforced by a dungeon master/mistress and no one interupts. The sub/slave does as they told..consensually agreed at the start of the D/s relationship. A Domme or a Dom does what she or he likes but within agreed limits. It coulf be any thing, bondage flogging hot wax play etc etc..with swingers they have their own rules and protocols which are similar..the cross over events can be tricky because each life style can be vastly different. As long as people are courteous and ask before doing anything to another..all should be ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

MSD in Sutton runs a mixed BDSM and swing night, the BDSM takes place in the dungeon part of the property and it worked well.

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

Anything local in the n/w for swinging couples or subs / doms seeking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anything local in the n/w for swinging couples or subs / doms seeking? "

Would suggest contacting the Townhouse as they run events of that nature. Also the unit in Blackpool - but that's further for you! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The 50 shades night are a scream lots of BDSM types out to corrupt the poor innocent swingers, by the end of the night there is that much shagging going on i am always convinced its the swingers doing the corrupting lol"

This made me laugh........ Thanks for this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Anything local in the n/w for swinging couples or subs / doms seeking? "

The Kage Club is run at Partners on the last Sunday of the Month. Don't know if the Swinging club overlaps but it might be worth asking them.

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