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Fuck buddys and guilty feelings..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated...

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't believe you've done anything wrong specifically, to him. I take it as he is guilty about perhaps not being honest with his girlfriend?

Unless there's more to this, it seems like the obvious answer.

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."
and then he gets back in touch with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging might well not be for him. If you are not in secure relationships then it will not work.

* Care of Agony Aunt Productions

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/15 19:08:29]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated...and then he gets back in touch with you? "

Yes..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's cheating.

You're cheating.

Not swinging...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hate to state obvious but this is probably the very reason why cheating doesn't work.

To be honest the feelings you have eat away at your soul and even if you are the best liar in the world both to yourself and your loved one it only leads to angst and pain. Worst case scenario is you let it slip or if you can live with it time heals and you decide the pleasures of the hunt are outweighed by the security and warmth of a good trusting relationship with your partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to message you privately as I'm in similar situation but other way around! x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 13/01/15 19:19:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would guess he's battling the feelings of guilt against the temptation & thrill of meeting you.

I think you'll end up getting hurt so it might be a good idea to be strong and say no to meeting again.

x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He's cheating.

You're cheating.

Not swinging...

"

Probably agree with this - maybe this is why he's feeling guilty. I'm curious, not judging either way, don't you feel guilty?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

after the 2nd or 3rd time of feeling hurt, why go back for more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are feeling hurt. Just imagine what his poor gf would feel like if she found out. Just saying

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

No one knows what's going on behind closed doors, not every relationship is a happy one and not everyone can up and leave their partner, so maybe it's best not to judge.

OP, he obviously likes you but has issues he needs to deal with. I think you should walk away, for your own sake, before you get in deeper.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

No judging from me, I would say the same if they weren't married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's true whats been said about not actually swinging..it is just cheating,and in the end nothing good will come of it.

i used to cheat on a girlfriend years ago,when i was a wanker looking back now.

the guilt used to kill me everytime i saw my girlfriend,then it would pass,then i would do it again and feel exactly the same way again cock was ruling head as they say.

it's not going to work out with him and his girlfriend in the end,my personal opinion,and i cant see it working out with you either as he knows your cheating on your partner now,so he would think you would do the same to him if he was with you,and that goes from your side too,you would know he's cheated on his girlfriend so why would he not cheat on you.

you may have met him on a swinging site,but it's what i was doing years ago,cheating.

you need trust and respect and total honesty,now thats swinging.

just my opinion.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews


"No judging from me, I would say the same if they weren't married "

Just heading it off at the pass

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"No judging from me, I would say the same if they weren't married

Just heading it off at the pass "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he's making you feel bad I would stop seeing him

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Why are you upset and confused?

If it is upsetting, stop seeing him, don't give him the chance to use you like that again.

Not sure what there is to be confused about, maybe I missed something...

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."

It's a swinging relationship. You ought to have guilt free sex with other men as he has guilt free sex with other women. Have a look for an intriguing forum thread called 'the jealousy gene'

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."

Don't meet him for a fifth time. What you

have done wrong is meet him for a second, third and fourth time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Don't meet him for a fifth time. What you

have done wrong is meet him for a second, third and fourth time."

This.

As soon as anyone mentions anything about any sort of feelings even feeling guilty I won't meet them again because I'm already married and I don't have room for someone else and I don't want anyone else. I really don't see there is anything to be confused about unless you were hoping to have an affair with this guy? Move on if he makes you feel bad. It's really easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was the man who started this thread, he would be slated not given kind words, they are both cheating, and it's terrible,, no matter what happens behind closed doors and relationships, if it isn't eorking it isn't working, walk away don't cheat,, causes more pain in the end,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."

If anyone left me feeling confused and upset I wouldn't give them a second time of meeting, let alone feeling the same again and again . I would move on however much I liked them.Its about having Fun . I'm single I don't judge those in relationships, I just don't like to feel uncomfortable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it was the man who started this thread, he would be slated not given kind words, they are both cheating, and it's terrible,, no matter what happens behind closed doors and relationships, if it isn't eorking it isn't working, walk away don't cheat,, causes more pain in the end,, "

Makes no difference to me if the OP is male or female I'm just simply answering the question.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."

As someone who meets on the same terms as you and he; if either of you is feeling guilty then it's not the right thing to do. And one of you has to be firm or strong enough to stop it before someone gets hurt even more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"He's cheating.

You're cheating.

Not swinging...

"

But to answer your question; it's not you doing anything wrong. Not to him anyway. He plays with you then feels guilty because he's cheating.

He stays away until he's feeling horny and comes to see you again.

This is baisically one step from a full blown affair in my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it was the man who started this thread, he would be slated not given kind words, they are both cheating, and it's terrible,, no matter what happens behind closed doors and relationships, if it isn't eorking it isn't working, walk away don't cheat,, causes more pain in the end,, "

And he shouldn't be slated either because the thread is not inviting comment on their relationship status.

OP I think you should back away from

this one; he's obviously conflicted and for me that wouldn't be something I wanted to get into.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it was the man who started this thread, he would be slated not given kind words, they are both cheating, and it's terrible,, no matter what happens behind closed doors and relationships, if it isn't eorking it isn't working, walk away don't cheat,, causes more pain in the end,, "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it was the man who started this thread, he would be slated not given kind words, they are both cheating, and it's terrible,, no matter what happens behind closed doors and relationships, if it isn't eorking it isn't working, walk away don't cheat,, causes more pain in the end,,

And he shouldn't be slated either because the thread is not inviting comment on their relationship status.

OP I think you should back away from

this one; he's obviously conflicted and for me that wouldn't be something I wanted to get into. "

I didn't comment on their relationship status,, I merely quoted somebody else's comment about closed doors and relationships,, and so glad that all the ladies agree with cheating,, fills me with such hope

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I didn't read the whole thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it was the man who started this thread, he would be slated not given kind words, they are both cheating, and it's terrible,, no matter what happens behind closed doors and relationships, if it isn't eorking it isn't working, walk away don't cheat,, causes more pain in the end,,

And he shouldn't be slated either because the thread is not inviting comment on their relationship status.

OP I think you should back away from

this one; he's obviously conflicted and for me that wouldn't be something I wanted to get into.

I didn't comment on their relationship status,, I merely quoted somebody else's comment about closed doors and relationships,, and so glad that all the ladies agree with cheating,, fills me with such hope "

Hope for what? Why does the fact I've made the decision (not taken lightly) to cheat have any impact on your life whatsoever?

All the ladies most certainly do not agree with cheating, a few may understands that it's not all straightforward but I know I'm very much in the minority on this one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."

Disgusting, good job I'm not your husband, I'd boot you out the door & keep all your clothes, if they'd fit me,

Cheating is inexcusable, full stop, deciptful, dishonest & cruel

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I'm single, mr is married. Not everything is as simple as "this isn't working, so let's stop"

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

And as it's been pointed out above, the OP isn't asking to discuss her relationship status, she's discussing a particular situation.

What was I thinking about anyone being judgemental?! As if

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"I'm single, mr is married. Not everything is as simple as "this isn't working, so let's stop"

"
I agree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And as it's been pointed out above, the OP isn't asking to discuss her relationship status, she's discussing a particular situation.

What was I thinking about anyone being judgemental?! As if "

Ah ha you should be now it's virtually impossible for some people just to answer a simple question....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IMO your both adults and can do whatever you like!

OP If he's feeling guilty maybe you should talk to him about why he feels like that and if it can't be helped maybe just stop meeting with him if he leaves you upset and confused, it's not worth the emotional rollercoaster you seem to be on

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews


"Ah ha you should be now it's virtually impossible for some people just to answer a simple question.... "

I know! You'd think I was a newbie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not you....its him. He (ok and you) are cheating. You can cope with it....he can't! Simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/15 21:40:48]

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By *ngel_38Woman
over a year ago

Staffs


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."

Why r u upset and confused ? It's only sex , Ur both in other relationships

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Sadly that's the reality of seeing someone who is cheating on the person they are supposed to love.

When I was much much younger my partner cheated on me oh at least five times. He probably said the same words to the girl he slept with behind my back. However he still came back to my bed, to his life with me and told me he loved me. Then I found out what had been happening. I kicked him out - ended it all. He begged me for forgiveness, blamed her for everything, called her for everything as though none of it was his fault.

Sadly what he tells you is a way to alleviate his guilt until he wants to fuck again then you meet him, he declares his guilt and it continues on the same sad cycle.

Only your willingness to believe his lies is allowing him to act the way he does. No one is to blame for the way he makes you feel but you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sadly that's the reality of seeing someone who is cheating on the person they are supposed to love.

When I was much much younger my partner cheated on me oh at least five times. He probably said the same words to the girl he slept with behind my back. However he still came back to my bed, to his life with me and told me he loved me. Then I found out what had been happening. I kicked him out - ended it all. He begged me for forgiveness, blamed her for everything, called her for everything as though none of it was his fault.

Sadly what he tells you is a way to alleviate his guilt until he wants to fuck again then you meet him, he declares his guilt and it continues on the same sad cycle.

Only your willingness to believe his lies is allowing him to act the way he does. No one is to blame for the way he makes you feel but you. "

Bang on

S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive met a man off here 4 times now..were both in relationships.(I know I know!)...and everytime ive met him afterwards he says he cant see me again n feels guilty..same thing every time!...which leaves me upset and confused...dont understand what ive done wrong??...any mens opinions on this would be appreciated..."
Sorry to be harsh but you asked for a man's opinion. You say "I know I know" "leaves me upset and confused, what have I done wrong" Do you think your partners would think something similar if they knew. He just calls you when his balls are full then feels bad and crawls back to his so called loved one. If you have to play behind backs sort your shit out.!!!

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

Perhaps you are both made for each other. Both leave your partners and get it together, then no feelings of guilt. You can then both be confident that the other will not be cheating, lol, and live a nice secure future together

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Yeah its a bummer for sure.

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By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago

here and there, thereabouts


"I would guess he's battling the feelings of guilt against the temptation & thrill of meeting you.

I think you'll end up getting hurt so it might be a good idea to be strong and say no to meeting again.

x"

This.

Is doesn't appear to be no strings if it's leaving you wondering what you've done wrong. Without knowing your situations simply from your post you and your FB appear to have blurred lines, that will see both of you and your partners hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it's true whats been said about not actually swinging..it is just cheating,and in the end nothing good will come of it.

i used to cheat on a girlfriend years ago,when i was a wanker looking back now.

the guilt used to kill me everytime i saw my girlfriend,then it would pass,then i would do it again and feel exactly the same way again cock was ruling head as they say.

it's not going to work out with him and his girlfriend in the end,my personal opinion,and i cant see it working out with you either as he knows your cheating on your partner now,so he would think you would do the same to him if he was with you,and that goes from your side too,you would know he's cheated on his girlfriend so why would he not cheat on you.

you may have met him on a swinging site,but it's what i was doing years ago,cheating.

you need trust and respect and total honesty,now thats swinging.

just my opinion."

For what it is worth we totally agree with you about swinging being about mutual trust, honesty and respect.

The site is called Fabswingers, not Fabcheaters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it's true whats been said about not actually swinging..it is just cheating,and in the end nothing good will come of it.

i used to cheat on a girlfriend years ago,when i was a wanker looking back now.

the guilt used to kill me everytime i saw my girlfriend,then it would pass,then i would do it again and feel exactly the same way again cock was ruling head as they say.

it's not going to work out with him and his girlfriend in the end,my personal opinion,and i cant see it working out with you either as he knows your cheating on your partner now,so he would think you would do the same to him if he was with you,and that goes from your side too,you would know he's cheated on his girlfriend so why would he not cheat on you.

you may have met him on a swinging site,but it's what i was doing years ago,cheating.

you need trust and respect and total honesty,now thats swinging.

just my opinion.

For what it is worth we totally agree with you about swinging being about mutual trust, honesty and respect.

The site is called Fabswingers, not Fabcheaters."

Or how about Fabletshavesex ~ judging by the messages I receive that's what the majority ** are interested in.

Why don't we just leave the name as is and crack on using the site how we all want to and let others use it how they choose.....

**majority as in message me not majority of the site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it's true whats been said about not actually swinging..it is just cheating,and in the end nothing good will come of it.

i used to cheat on a girlfriend years ago,when i was a wanker looking back now.

the guilt used to kill me everytime i saw my girlfriend,then it would pass,then i would do it again and feel exactly the same way again cock was ruling head as they say.

it's not going to work out with him and his girlfriend in the end,my personal opinion,and i cant see it working out with you either as he knows your cheating on your partner now,so he would think you would do the same to him if he was with you,and that goes from your side too,you would know he's cheated on his girlfriend so why would he not cheat on you.

you may have met him on a swinging site,but it's what i was doing years ago,cheating.

you need trust and respect and total honesty,now thats swinging.

just my opinion.

For what it is worth we totally agree with you about swinging being about mutual trust, honesty and respect.

The site is called Fabswingers, not Fabcheaters.

Or how about Fabletshavesex ~ judging by the messages I receive that's what the majority ** are interested in.

Why don't we just leave the name as is and crack on using the site how we all want to and let others use it how they choose.....

**majority as in message me not majority of the site.

"

Use it however anyone wants to by all means, however it still doesn't make swinging the same as cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Don't meet him for a fifth time. What you

have done wrong is meet him for a second, third and fourth time.

This.

As soon as anyone mentions anything about any sort of feelings even feeling guilty I won't meet them again because I'm already married and I don't have room for someone else and I don't want anyone else. I really don't see there is anything to be confused about unless you were hoping to have an affair with this guy? Move on if he makes you feel bad. It's really easy."

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By *aymackCouple
over a year ago

manchester


"If it was the man who started this thread, he would be slated not given kind words, they are both cheating, and it's terrible,, no matter what happens behind closed doors and relationships, if it isn't eorking it isn't working, walk away don't cheat,, causes more pain in the end,, "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"it's true whats been said about not actually swinging..it is just cheating,and in the end nothing good will come of it.

i used to cheat on a girlfriend years ago,when i was a wanker looking back now.

the guilt used to kill me everytime i saw my girlfriend,then it would pass,then i would do it again and feel exactly the same way again cock was ruling head as they say.

it's not going to work out with him and his girlfriend in the end,my personal opinion,and i cant see it working out with you either as he knows your cheating on your partner now,so he would think you would do the same to him if he was with you,and that goes from your side too,you would know he's cheated on his girlfriend so why would he not cheat on you.

you may have met him on a swinging site,but it's what i was doing years ago,cheating.

you need trust and respect and total honesty,now thats swinging.

just my opinion.

For what it is worth we totally agree with you about swinging being about mutual trust, honesty and respect.

The site is called Fabswingers, not Fabcheaters.

Or how about Fabletshavesex ~ judging by the messages I receive that's what the majority ** are interested in.

Why don't we just leave the name as is and crack on using the site how we all want to and let others use it how they choose.....

**majority as in message me not majority of the site.

Use it however anyone wants to by all means, however it still doesn't make swinging the same as cheating."

No one said it did!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all for replying...I know obviously that what im doing is morally wrong...im not a swinger...im a cheat who looks for sex elsewhere as I dont get what I want at home and if im honest a bit addicted to meeting men and the fun they offer. Its true everyone uses this site differently and if people dont agree with what im doing then thats your opinion...I wont apologise for getting what I want. I will apologise if ive upset anyone with this post...x

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By *ipsTeaserCouple
over a year ago

here and there, thereabouts


"Thank you all for replying...I know obviously that what im doing is morally wrong...im not a swinger...im a cheat who looks for sex elsewhere as I dont get what I want at home and if im honest a bit addicted to meeting men and the fun they offer. Its true everyone uses this site differently and if people dont agree with what im doing then thats your opinion...I wont apologise for getting what I want. I will apologise if ive upset anyone with this post...x"

You don't have to apologise to us as its your situation not ours... But it's clearly not as simple as it was if you are getting hurt in the process.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/01/15 20:27:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for replying...I know obviously that what im doing is morally wrong...im not a swinger...im a cheat who looks for sex elsewhere as I dont get what I want at home and if im honest a bit addicted to meeting men and the fun they offer. Its true everyone uses this site differently and if people dont agree with what im doing then thats your opinion...I wont apologise for getting what I want. I will apologise if ive upset anyone with this post...x"

If you don't feel guilty and you're getting something that you do not and cannot get 'at home' then you are swinging, not cheating. But who needs to label what you do? If no guilt and no one gets hurt then all is rosy, surely?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


" If no guilt and no one gets hurt then all is rosy, surely?

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for replying...I know obviously that what im doing is morally wrong...im not a swinger...im a cheat who looks for sex elsewhere as I dont get what I want at home and if im honest a bit addicted to meeting men and the fun they offer. Its true everyone uses this site differently and if people dont agree with what im doing then thats your opinion...I wont apologise for getting what I want. I will apologise if ive upset anyone with this post...x"

As long as your other half doesn't find out/mind and you don't feel guilty about I don't see a problem in it. I know a few others on here who are here purely to cheat and have no interest in swinging, Everyone has their own opinion's on cheating, some people can deal with it some can't, you clearly can! Each to their own

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