FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

How long should I wait before declaring my date a "no show"

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Currently waiting.... How long is too long do you think people? And how quick is just plain impatient? Or very keen? I'd love to hear your thoughts please.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

In vanilla dating, I would give them the time to finish a drink, so about 20 - 30 minutes.

On fab, I don't know, as I've never had a no show.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your in a pub, i would say one drink about half an hour.

Her

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"If your in a pub, i would say one drink about half an hour.

Her"

Agreed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

If you have a telephone number and he has yours I wouldnt wait at all. He has the chance to let you know he is running late. If you havent had a call then he isnt coming.

Oh I would be so annoyed if I made an effort

report block .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I think you can usually tell fairly quickly...but waiting half hour would seem fair.

Good luck and hope they do show and are lovely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

20 mins to half an hour. I think it would be reasonable for someone to message you if they are going to be later than that. Hope it goes well for you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you going to post to let us know the outcome?

Are you still waiting at the moment?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you have a telephone number and he has yours I wouldnt wait at all. He has the chance to let you know he is running late. If you havent had a call then he isnt coming.

Oh I would be so annoyed if I made an effort

report block . "
. Exactly that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We were due to meet 7.30ish.... I should have trusted my instincts on this one!! We live and learn

I'm currently pacing a little angrily, when I'm a little calmer I'll head home... I don't want a speeding ticket to complete my evening.

Thank you all Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

half an hour would be my yard stick ...hope they show and your night is a cracker !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are you going to post to let us know the outcome?

Are you still waiting at the moment?"

I would have been gone by now

Sorry lateness and no telephone calls just down right rude

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Sorry to hear that...their loss, as they say...Drive home within limit!

Good luck for future

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say - no more than 5 mins at the appointed meeting place, then pull back to a discreet viewing point for another 10 mins, watching to see if anybody comes running up, looking like they are late and in panic, and don't reveal yourself unless you really fancy them.

In any case, be out of there and gone within 20 mins - put it behind you and get on with your life...!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"We were due to meet 7.30ish.... I should have trusted my instincts on this one!! We live and learn

I'm currently pacing a little angrily, when I'm a little calmer I'll head home... I don't want a speeding ticket to complete my evening.

Thank you all Xx"

Make sure you report as a no show. That should make you feel a bit better.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *immy444Man
over a year ago

bristol

Sad to feel you made the effort and have been late down ...no excuse if they have your tel number to advise what may have happened

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they are serious to meet they will contact you immediate, if it goes more than 15min its no doubt another timewaster, to many of them here lol. Personally tho would give it 20min.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe his wife found his phone.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he hasn't attempted to message / call you then I would say 1/2 hour is reasonable waiting time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would wait 30 mins if he had contacted me to say he was running late. I personally wouldn't meet anyone without checking a hr before if they were still available to meet x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would probably wait 20 - 30 minutes. Never been stood up luckily. I've always had constant contact with everyone from when they leave to when they're about about 10 - 15 minutes away.

If you've not heard anything by the time you get home OP, I'd report him for a no show.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exy_as_fuck_coupleCouple
over a year ago

London

I'd say 30 minutes if talking to them before hand and they seem really up for meeting. If there is any doubt, then I would say call, no answer then leave after 5 mins.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half hour, report and block. this happened to me, first time I waited a hour, 2nd time half hour and I bought myself a drink and calmed down then left. idiot man

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

15 mins. That's our rule.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"15 mins. That's our rule."
yes no longer .. never had this and cant be nice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atelotmanMan
over a year ago

Chatham

Seems to be a lot more of no shows of late.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's just fucking rude, sorry it's happened to you, you should always trust your gut though on everything. Every guy I've met I've always been in contact with before hand, I always like to arrive first cos I hate walking towards people, I prefer them to come to me so I always say I'm leaving 15 mums later than I have! I like to have 15 -20 minutes before they get there to have a fag and sort myself out!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mins* not mums!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *laineabdneilCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Agree with other post ..

No time at all as we all have mobiles ..

If haven't exchanged numbers then I'd be amazed anyone would want a random meet ...

Of course .. It could all be fake

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most guys tend to message to say they are setting off now. I would have just tried to get someone else to meet if they didn't turn up on time and didn't let you know they had set off (or you messaged them to ask and they didn't reply).

The mobile phone GPS on here can be helpful to see if they're closer to where you are, so you could keep an eye on that on their page if you think they will turn up and they are using a mobile phone (which i presume people going out will do that).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

If you are in demand 20-30 minutes if desperate (or perhaps a single male) 20-30 days

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why i don't leave my house until the guy has called me from the place we're meant to meet. Hate time wasters. Hope you have a better day today!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blimey I saw this thread last night I hope she's still not waiting for him

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

normally il give it a couple of days then maybe a txt enquiry

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

WILTSHIRE


"This is why i don't leave my house until the guy has called me from the place we're meant to meet. Hate time wasters. Hope you have a better day today! "

we do a similar thing with single males, than ask them to name the shops opposite, Connie xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never been sitting there waiting for them to turn up ..but got a text to say one of my meets had to cancel whilst I was getting ready ...All was not lost though I met someone else so it wasn't a wasted night after all. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been stood up SEVEN TIMES!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is why i don't leave my house until the guy has called me from the place we're meant to meet. Hate time wasters. Hope you have a better day today!

we do a similar thing with single males, than ask them to name the shops opposite, Connie xx "

Excellent idea! I only meet at two different places where i'm well know by the staff so i get the guy to call me and if i'm in any doubt i get him to hand his phone to a member of staff. I couldn't be bothered getting all dressed up then getting stood up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been late before....it happens. I always keep folk in the loop though.

Alternately, I've had to wait before but have been lucky enough that folk have kept me in the loop and I've never had a no show.

Actually......I lie.

Did let one person down once due to some horrific 'real life' crap happening and had to message with my tail between my legs a while later....luckily she was quite understanding.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been stood up SEVEN TIMES!!! "

Seven?!

Maybe want to review your own vetting process? That's alot!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been stood up SEVEN TIMES!!! "
Really was it different people.? Did they ever say why.?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?"

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She tried to get a meet with the seven dwarfs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will. "

Isn't that asking people to do what your not prepared to do though?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

I've only had one cancellation , due to his car breaking down. He rang to let me know and also again when the RAC got there. We rearranged. I've never had a no show, I would wait for 30 mins.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will.

Isn't that asking people to do what your not prepared to do though? "

Absolutely. And if they don't want to meet me then that's their choice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will.

Isn't that asking people to do what your not prepared to do though?

Absolutely. And if they don't want to meet me then that's their choice."

Very telling. Thanks for the honesty.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will.

Isn't that asking people to do what your not prepared to do though?

Absolutely. And if they don't want to meet me then that's their choice.

Very telling. Thanks for the honesty. "

I'm nothing but honest!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will.

Isn't that asking people to do what your not prepared to do though?

Absolutely. And if they don't want to meet me then that's their choice.

Very telling. Thanks for the honesty.

I'm nothing but honest! "

If it works for you and the chaps are prepared to jump through hoops then fair play to you....and them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will.

Isn't that asking people to do what your not prepared to do though?

Absolutely. And if they don't want to meet me then that's their choice.

Very telling. Thanks for the honesty.

I'm nothing but honest!

If it works for you and the chaps are prepared to jump through hoops then fair play to you....and them. "

It does and they seem plenty happy after the fact. Win, win!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will.

Isn't that asking people to do what your not prepared to do though?

Absolutely. And if they don't want to meet me then that's their choice.

Very telling. Thanks for the honesty.

I'm nothing but honest!

If it works for you and the chaps are prepared to jump through hoops then fair play to you....and them.

It does and they seem plenty happy after the fact. Win, win! "

Takes allsorts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THIS is why single men get a bad name on here. I was stood up early on in my Fab journey, waited for 45 mins, in my local, kept sending texts etc in case he got lost.

3 hours later.....turns out he had a meet which over ran. He actually told me he had 'family round and they wouldn't leave'. Don't display ur verification from a meet on the same day u had a social with me dude. Lol. Oh well......trust ur 1st gut feeling next time babe. Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"THIS is why single men get a bad name on here. I was stood up early on in my Fab journey, waited for 45 mins, in my local, kept sending texts etc in case he got lost.

3 hours later.....turns out he had a meet which over ran. He actually told me he had 'family round and they wouldn't leave'. Don't display ur verification from a meet on the same day u had a social with me dude. Lol. Oh well......trust ur 1st gut feeling next time babe. Xx "

I had one who cancelled then displayed a veri in the same way. When I was a bit cool in my messages he asked why so I told him. His excuse that it was a old one. Let's just say what goes around comes around

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"If they are serious to meet they will contact you immediate, if it goes more than 15min its no doubt another timewaster, to many of them here lol. Personally tho would give it 20min."

I've been out to meet someone - but got into a no signal area. My sat nav wanted to take me across a river - needless to say I was rather reluctant to do so and had to find my own way round.

I was about 45 mins late - fortunately, she waited.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"THIS is why single men get a bad name on here. I was stood up early on in my Fab journey, waited for 45 mins, in my local, kept sending texts etc in case he got lost.

3 hours later.....turns out he had a meet which over ran. He actually told me he had 'family round and they wouldn't leave'. Don't display ur verification from a meet on the same day u had a social with me dude. Lol. Oh well......trust ur 1st gut feeling next time babe. Xx

I had one who cancelled then displayed a veri in the same way. When I was a bit cool in my messages he asked why so I told him. His excuse that it was a old one. Let's just say what goes around comes around

"

True dat babe. He hasn't had any action for ages. Profile stalking!! Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackspopCouple
over a year ago

Wymondham


"normally il give it a couple of days then maybe a txt enquiry "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"THIS is why single men get a bad name on here. I was stood up early on in my Fab journey, waited for 45 mins, in my local, kept sending texts etc in case he got lost.

3 hours later.....turns out he had a meet which over ran. He actually told me he had 'family round and they wouldn't leave'. Don't display ur verification from a meet on the same day u had a social with me dude. Lol. Oh well......trust ur 1st gut feeling next time babe. Xx

I had one who cancelled then displayed a veri in the same way. When I was a bit cool in my messages he asked why so I told him. His excuse that it was a old one. Let's just say what goes around comes around

True dat babe. He hasn't had any action for ages. Profile stalking!! Xx "

Block and move on is the only way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I've been stood up first time i was on here,he left site and rejoined thinking i wouldn't realise it was him(he messaged me asking to meet)Sorry this happened to you there's no excuse in this day and age

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackspopCouple
over a year ago

Wymondham

Skewing the thread in an entirely different direction, am I the only one who, when they look at OP's picture ISN'T seeing a shoe, but something altogether more like a bum cigar?

Or is it just me?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/01/15 21:19:53]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, all of you, for your time and comments. Very interesting reading all your different views.

I waited a little over 30 minutes in the end, the last 10 spent arranging to meet an existing "friend" for coffee, and a happy ending to my evening.

The no-show has been blocked, reported and forgotten. I'll be far more inclined to listen to my instincts, and to plan a little more in the future.

Thanks again Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Skewing the thread in an entirely different direction, am I the only one who, when they look at OP's picture ISN'T seeing a shoe, but something altogether more like a bum cigar?

Or is it just me?

"

Its a shoe? Why one?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Why one? To tell the truth, the other stocking leg was laddered so I cropped the picture!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester


"That's just fucking rude, sorry it's happened to you, you should always trust your gut though on everything. Every guy I've met I've always been in contact with before hand, I always like to arrive first cos I hate walking towards people, I prefer them to come to me so I always say I'm leaving 15 mums later than I have! I like to have 15 -20 minutes before they get there to have a fag and sort myself out!"

Tut tut, Athena. You have yourself down as a non smoker

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been stood up by single women twice in the last few months. My time is precious and I'm very selective in who I meet so it just shows, takes all sorts.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If say it's safe to declare a no show by now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And now makes the third

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imply_SensualMan
over a year ago

warrington


"If you have a telephone number and he has yours I wouldnt wait at all. He has the chance to let you know he is running late. If you havent had a call then he isnt coming.

Oh I would be so annoyed if I made an effort

report block . "

This, no excuse in todays world that you can't let someone know you are running late.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half hour is the maximum surely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what would happen if he said i will sit in the house whilst you go to the coffee shop ...when you get there ring me and pass your phone to a member of staff ...i will then set off ...would that be ok ?

Not for me. Because i always show up. Single guys are more likely not to. And frankly, if a guy asked me to do that i just wouldn't meet him. There's plenty of other guys i want to meet who will. "

Not all single guys wouldn't show up. I've never let a meet down yet. Don't tar us all with the same tainted brush.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been stood up first time i was on here,he left site and rejoined thinking i wouldn't realise it was him(he messaged me asking to meet)Sorry this happened to you there's no excuse in this day and age "
this is my 5th profile! single guys get same daily welcome sis

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Name and shame to stop them doing it to other poor people

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unwithus2.Couple
over a year ago

south kent

i would never meet with out a phone number

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you still there?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Name and shame to stop them doing it to other poor people"

We're not allowed to though?? Xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Name and shame to stop them doing it to other poor people

We're not allowed to though?? Xx"

Are you not? That's a shame. Can you report them in someway though?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" i would never meet with out a phone number "

Alot dont give out mobile numbers or have a phone chat. I don't/won't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville


"I've been stood up SEVEN TIMES!!! "

100's of times . Block and move on . Always have a plan B

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top