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old relationship boring sex life

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably because you're crap at it

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By *rladytoyMan
over a year ago

bournemouth

Have u spoke with her about this? Tried spicing it up a bit, maybe some sexy underwear ect. If yes, then no its only normal that you would resent her for it, people have needs, simples

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Probably because you are doing the same things to her day in day out,the poor woman is probably bored to death!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people just have lower sex drive it's not there fault there's is low any more then it is ours being high , it's always going to be hard if you fall for some one and this is the situation , you can't make some one horny or kinky Ect or even have more drive if it really isn't there thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So does she know you're on here?

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument "

Can you not get someone to have the kids for the weekend and go away together for the weekend,have some time alone together?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her."

What a crock of bollocks that is, relationships are 2 way things, why should sex always be up to the man? Why is it the man's job to make the woman feel sexy? What about the man's needs? They should both be putting equal effort in

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Went away last weekend posh hotel shopping all day and still the same lights of missionary no noise. Till she cum

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By *lanwoodMan
over a year ago

Alton


"Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her."

Dear oh dear! There are a hell of a lot of assumptions in these comments. You have no idea that he can't be bothered etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because they can also get bored to have sex with the same person, maibe she is getting it from somewhere else? Maibe you need to find some extra marital fun. Hard to know the reasons, can be many.

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By *lanwoodMan
over a year ago

Alton


"Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her.

What a crock of bollocks that is, relationships are 2 way things, why should sex always be up to the man? Why is it the man's job to make the woman feel sexy? What about the man's needs? They should both be putting equal effort in"

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me "

Do you tell her you lover her, that you cherish her, think the world of her? Or just throw money at her? Could be part of the problem.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?"

Looks like it.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"Because they can also get bored to have sex with the same person, maibe she is getting it from somewhere else? Maibe you need to find some extra marital fun. Hard to know the reasons, can be many."

Hopefully she is if he's on here. He hasn't said yes whether his wife knows he's on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking at your profile I guess you have young children?

kids. There not called passion killers for nothing. It's kind of normal for Women with young un's to feel shattered after a day of dealing with shit (literally and figuratively) and want nothing else but to sleep when they do get into bed. Rather than demanding action. Start by lightening her load, try and get some me and us time into the schedule. Take a look at yourself are you appealing to her?

So your on here as a single male. Does she know your here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because they can also get bored to have sex with the same person, maibe she is getting it from somewhere else? Maibe you need to find some extra marital fun. Hard to know the reasons, can be many.

Hopefully she is if he's on here. He hasn't said yes whether his wife knows he's on here!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I don't think cheating is the right way to go about it bbutim hornet as fuck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?"

A similar thought occurred to me


"So does she know you're on here?

"
As he's on here with a single male profile that makes no mention of the fact that he's married, I suspect not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be broken hearted if my partner chose to speak about how boring our sex life is on a swinging forum, instead of just talking to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Because they can also get bored to have sex with the same person, maibe she is getting it from somewhere else? Maibe you need to find some extra marital fun. Hard to know the reasons, can be many.

Hopefully she is if he's on here. He hasn't said yes whether his wife knows he's on here!"
Yes good idea, recon she gets it as well from somewhere else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Looking at your profile I guess you have young children?

kids. There not called passion killers for nothing. It's kind of normal for Women with young un's to feel shattered after a day of dealing with shit (literally and figuratively) and want nothing else but to sleep when they do get into bed. Rather than demanding action. Start by lightening her load, try and get some me and us time into the schedule. Take a look at yourself are you appealing to her?

So your on here as a single male. Does she know your here?

"

Kids are exhausting! Some days as soon as the kids have settled I jump into bed and I'm gone for the night! Hubby often wonders what he has done wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

Have you discussed couples therapy?

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me "

You sound like a real charmer, I don't suppose she also carried your children, washed, ironed and cooked then?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I'd be broken hearted if my partner chose to speak about how boring our sex life is on a swinging forum, instead of just talking to me. "

Yup, it speaks volumes sadly.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?

Looks like it."

Not it doesn't. He is asking for advice

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me

You sound like a real charmer, I don't suppose she also carried your children, washed, ironed and cooked then? "

No mate I do all the house work and cooking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?

Looks like it."

These are always fun.....we've had a fat bashing one already today....rich vein of controversy today eh? It's only early too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably because you're crap at it "

How is that helpful?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

To the OP.

I don't agree with other posts that have said you should do all the work...a sex life takes two people and if one isn't interested in sex it doesn't always mean the OH is to blame.

Have you young children? Does she have a busy job? Is she too knackered by the time you get to bed? Have you both tried different things in sex or has it always been the same way every time?

All of the above could affect your sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think cheating is the right way to go about it bbutim hornet as fuck "

You lot are getting trolled, again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me

You sound like a real charmer, I don't suppose she also carried your children, washed, ironed and cooked then?

No mate I do all the house work and cooking "

If you do everything, and she gets everything, is the relationship even satisfying in other ways apart from sex?

Doesn't sound like it'd be happy to me and, if it were me, I'd reconsider if we were even right for each other.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

When did you try something new? give her a long massage back and feet ..when did you last pay her a compliment or treat her to a nice surprise.

Relationships are not one way. Sex is not an entitlement, Do you ever just cuddle her without expecting sex. Do you ever give without expecting to receive... Lifes a bitch innit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think cheating is the right way to go about it bbutim hornet as fuck "

You can never un cheat, take it from someone who knows, so choose wisely your course of action.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?

Looks like it.

Not it doesn't. He is asking for advice"

Ah but he is a cheating single male....lower than low and doesn't deserve advice as everyone knows his background and reasons for being here....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me "
so your saying because you give her this you should get good sex.? See you cant pay for sex it comes from her being into you and wishing to make love and play . she is not a sex worker ..

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?

Looks like it.

Not it doesn't. He is asking for advice

Ah but he is a cheating single male....lower than low and doesn't deserve advice as everyone knows his background and reasons for being here.... "

And the reason why I am trying to get people to answer the question rather than keep bringing it up

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me so your saying because you give her this you should get good sex.? See you cant pay for sex it comes from her being into you and wishing to make love and play . she is not a sex worker .."

No, he was answering someone who advised what he does for his wife

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Is this going to turn into an attempted justification for cheating thread?

Looks like it.

Not it doesn't. He is asking for advice

Ah but he is a cheating single male....lower than low and doesn't deserve advice as everyone knows his background and reasons for being here....

And the reason why I am trying to get people to answer the question rather than keep bringing it up "

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument "

Yep kids get in the way women get tired.. Have you ever arranged a night away for the kids or yourselves? hotel a bath hottub relax cuddle and sleep. maybe family can help sometimes. if she gets a break she will be more inclined to feel like sex.

Often as a mother you completely lose all ability to feel sexy. My advice is to forget putting pressure on her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

I'd just sneak off and try to get laid behind her back.

You might aswell. She's probably been doing it for ages hence losing interest at home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Kids are exhausting! Some days as soon as the kids have settled I jump into bed and I'm gone for the night! Hubby often wonders what he has done wrong.

"

Yes, they are indeed.

I currently have my two every other weekend and half of the holidays (yes, i'd love to have them more often, but I have to accept what I was granted by the court - I have shared residence of them - but that's a story for another time)

I usually find that the day after I've taken them back to their mums, I am completely exhausted. It's as if my brain switches down a gear from a high state of alertness / awareness from when they've been with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I went through a long period....almost 2 years of not being interested in sex at all when I had my first child, and when my interest did begin to come back I was just too knackered to do anything about it. Having kids takes a hell of a lot of adjustment and as a woman your focus changes from your husband/partner and towards your children. It takes a while to find a new balance. You just have to hang in and support your wife and try and communicate as much as you can without blaming her. Do think hard about how much worse she would feel if she found you were on here though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you mention that you have children, they can really take it out of you and leave you feeling exhausted, could your wife be feeling depressed? That can lower or even kill ones libido, taking her away is all well good as is buying her gifts but it won't solve the issue and shouldn't automatically mean that she'll give you a blow job, sit down and talk to her, listen to what she has to say, don't put preasure on her to have sex and just see if you can work out the issues together.

Good luck

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument "

Have you tried setting yourself a six week time span and during that time once a week at least say to your wife " I've run you a bath, there's a glass of wine up there, you go and relax I'll put the kids to bed" then do just that. Don't even ask her for sex just sit.down with her afterwards and chat, ask her about her stresses and worries, hold her hand and listen. Do this and other loving things with no expectation of sex and see what happens. It's highly likely that she's resenting you just as much as you're resenting her but for different reasons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and maybe she wants the lights off because she doesn't feel sexy. Every woman feels differently about their body after kids....it's never the same. Maybe she needs to hear that you still fancy her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument

Have you tried setting yourself a six week time span and during that time once a week at least say to your wife " I've run you a bath, there's a glass of wine up there, you go and relax I'll put the kids to bed" then do just that. Don't even ask her for sex just sit.down with her afterwards and chat, ask her about her stresses and worries, hold her hand and listen. Do this and other loving things with no expectation of sex and see what happens. It's highly likely that she's resenting you just as much as you're resenting her but for different reasons."

Sensible, as always Nicecouple

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument

Have you tried setting yourself a six week time span and during that time once a week at least say to your wife " I've run you a bath, there's a glass of wine up there, you go and relax I'll put the kids to bed" then do just that. Don't even ask her for sex just sit.down with her afterwards and chat, ask her about her stresses and worries, hold her hand and listen. Do this and other loving things with no expectation of sex and see what happens. It's highly likely that she's resenting you just as much as you're resenting her but for different reasons.

Sensible, as always Nicecouple "

Steady

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

Grow a pair. Do something about it. Stop complaining.

So bored of people complaining about things they can actually make a difference to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument "

Hmmm. You seem to be blaming this on everyone but yourself!

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"Oh and maybe she wants the lights off because she doesn't feel sexy. Every woman feels differently about their body after kids....it's never the same. Maybe she needs to hear that you still fancy her?"

Agreed.

In my opinion, 'doing everything' has no impact if there are no feelings put into it or if the 'doing everything' is just done to get the sex!

Little things do count, hugs, kisses, box of chocolates .

Little attentions can make people feel good about themselves.

But that's my opinion. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "
Do she work ? Do you have family .. and a house . Do you op help around the house as there is loads to do ... a womans work is never done .. maybe she don't feel like sex as she need a rest and naked .. You could always take her away for a weekend see if that work.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right op in answer to your question it is common and no its not ok to resent her or cheat, sit down discuss how you feel explained to her that the lack of sex is affect your relationship and that you feel neglected, discuss with her why she has gone off sex and what can be done to turn things around, if she isn't willing to change or you can't reach a happy compromise then maybe the relationship has run its course and it's time to move on,

But it's not all your fault and it's certainly not all up to you to make all the running, all this talk of its stressful been a mom is true, but it's also stressful going out to work full time to get home and then be expected to just take over everything at home so the woman can have a rest, sit down talk and work it out, or as someone else said grow some balls and leave stop moaning about it only you can rectify the situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once women are married instead of pouring their energy into catching a man they use it to spend his money,to make their home the best their children the most fashionable and to have the best car. It's hard work being Mrs Jones and poor Mr Jones gets forgotten about

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No where in my profile does it say the word single also grow balls some balls never got anyone anywhere I have asked for advice and some have replied sensibly and others are just a waste of oxygen anyway thanks for the help but this is just turning into a jk special so goodbye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you know its not you thats boring

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument

Hmmm. You seem to be blaming this on everyone but yourself! "

this

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"No where in my profile does it say the word single also grow balls some balls never got anyone anywhere I have asked for advice and some have replied sensibly and others are just a waste of oxygen anyway thanks for the help but this is just turning into a jk special so goodbye "

why not concentrate on those of us who gave you sensible answers? We might be able to give you some pointers that will really help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably because you are doing the same things to her day in day out,the poor woman is probably bored to death!"
.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"No where in my profile does it say the word single also grow balls some balls never got anyone anywhere I have asked for advice and some have replied sensibly and others are just a waste of oxygen anyway thanks for the help but this is just turning into a jk special so goodbye "

When you ask for advice you should expect to get comments and remarks that you're not going to be totally happy about. Some of those comments might well be true, you should consider them. On the other hand a lot are just based on the biased experience of those giving it, that advice should probably be ignored.

Whilst I don't agree with the comments that seem to be saying it's totally your responsibility to make your sex life good or fun if I were you I would ponder this thought. The only person you can definitely change is yourself and not anyone else. Trying to change someone else is just going to frustrate you even more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably because you're crap at it "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The woman is having sex with him, he has already mentioned this, he just said she's shit, only does missionary and makes no noise. It takes two people to have shit sex, sounds to me like she's just going though the motions cos she can't be arsed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The woman is having sex with him, he has already mentioned this, he just said she's shit, only does missionary and makes no noise. It takes two people to have shit sex, sounds to me like she's just going though the motions cos she can't be arsed. "

Well said

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

In which case jimmy, you really do need to have that conversation with her of whether you are both enjoying it and why, as neither of you sound like you are. One or both of you might be doing something to put the other off.

I never tell married people that they shouldn't be on here as it is their business, but if you need to concentrate on your relationship then maybe being on here isn't the best idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

How come so many men insist on believe that:

1. All women think and behave the same.

2. It's never their fault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Show her your profile on here then....that should ignite something (even if only a fuse)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Its tough being in a relationship with a young family, the op has only been here for 7 weeks and it doesn't look like he's met anyone maybe joining here is a last resort. Possibly he's feeling desperate and unloved and possibly so is she, I'd rather make suggestions that might help get them back on course than harangue him.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

But I have to say that the title is less than complimentary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She could want the lights off because she thinks your fugly.. Just a though.. Maybe stop paying for everything and see how long til she leaves you.. The boring missionary sex could be her way of just putting up with you for an easy life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think coming on here to look for random strangers to have sex with will sort you out then crack on but you defo need to talk to her about this or even consider professional help. Good luck.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo


"But I have to say that the title is less than complimentary "

I suppose if it is boring you may as well say it is.

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By *thletic Fella!!Man
over a year ago

Wigan


"Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her.

What a crock of bollocks that is, relationships are 2 way things, why should sex always be up to the man? Why is it the man's job to make the woman feel sexy? What about the man's needs? They should both be putting equal effort in"

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"But I have to say that the title is less than complimentary

I suppose if it is boring you may as well say it is. "

True.

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By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

I went of sex for year kids do make u tired butex was boring in bed was for 14 yrs just wam bam thank you mam went of it completly now single finding it what love sex feel like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask the OP if he think his wife trusts him. Sorry to bang on about this but if she doesn't trust you that often leads to shit sex. Women's intuition may be telling her you are playing away. Somehow or other you gotta get to the root of the problem and reassure her that you're not 2 timing her, (even if you're not) I'm not accusing, but a guy that loves her to bits and willing to go the extra mile to try and get the marriage to function again.

To be honest there's not alot of advice a forum can give you except the obvious things that you've said you've tried. I have been where you are and my marriage ended in failure so I cannot point to anything I've done that ultimately was a great success.

I did find the best times though were when we had hit the bumpy bottoms somewhere along the way and both agreed we had to make more of an effort to stay together and tried to accomodate each others needs a bit.

Perhaps you are just not compatible which is the conclusion I came to in the end. Mine had a methodist upbringing and little did I know but boy oh boy did that make her very uptight about any sort of naughty sex.

Good luck and the old saying the grass in greener on the other side is never truer when it comes to marriage and infidelity. Also out of the frying pan into the fire is very true as well as I found.

Stick at it if I was you, especially if you've got kids.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

Couldn't you ask to be on top for a change?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her.

What a crock of bollocks that is, relationships are 2 way things, why should sex always be up to the man? Why is it the man's job to make the woman feel sexy? What about the man's needs? They should both be putting equal effort in "

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this

How come so many men insist on believe that:

1. All women think and behave the same.

"

I don't think all men do think that but the statement itself suggest that you think all men think and behave the same.


"

2. It's never their fault."

and I know I definitely don't think that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Went away last weekend posh hotel shopping all day and still the same lights of missionary no noise. Till she cum "


"Probably because you're crap at it "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this

Couldn't you ask to be on top ifor a change? "

Sorry to state the obvious but as someone who was married for 16 years the only way things will change for the better is if you talk to your wife.. not in accusatory tone but more in the way of "you know I love you, and want to feel close to you" kind of way.

You do get set in ways as a couple, but if you dont communicate with each other then how can you know what is happening between you?

Sex within a marriage/ long term relationship takes affection, love, time and a lot of effort from both people, and sadly to say if someone is feeling unloved then all the money in the world wont change that. I havent read your profile as I donr wish to judge you negatively, but I would say is take the time n effort that you put on this site and put it into your relationship. I hope this helps x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

I've had no sex with my husband since my daughter was 8, she is now 24. I don't know what happened, we have never discussed it. He never had the spare money to treat me to the things your wife has had but I think that if he did, he wouldn't have expected sex to be more exciting because of the treats. As they said, young children are hard work and my husband appreciated that. You should talk to her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this

Couldn't you ask to be on top ifor a change?

Sorry to state the obvious but as someone who was married for 16 years the only way things will change for the better is if you talk to your wife.. not in accusatory tone but more in the way of "you know I love you, and want to feel close to you" kind of way.

You do get set in ways as a couple, but if you dont communicate with each other then how can you know what is happening between you?

Sex within a marriage/ long term relationship takes affection, love, time and a lot of effort from both people, and sadly to say if someone is feeling unloved then all the money in the world wont change that. I havent read your profile as I donr wish to judge you negatively, but I would say is take the time n effort that you put on this site and put it into your relationship. I hope this helps x "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

Not all women lose interest. It could be that she just doesn't have the energy or doesn't feel loved.


"I completely agree yes tryed everything but when you've got kids it makes it hard and every time I Speak to her about it just cause an argument "

It depends how you have approached her about it. If you come across as accusational then yes it will get her defences up and turn into an argument.


"I don't think cheating is the right way to go about it bbutim hornet as fuck "

You say that you don't think cheating is the right way to go about it (I completely agree) but then why are you on here as a single male?

As for the horny factor - don't you have hands?

Hids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "
Show her your profile ...she may be impressed and get all horny...then again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I've had no sex with my husband since my daughter was 8, she is now 24. I don't know what happened, we have never discussed it. He never had the spare money to treat me to the things your wife has had but I think that if he did, he wouldn't have expected sex to be more exciting because of the treats. As they said, young children are hard work and my husband appreciated that. You should talk to her "

I don't understand why you wouldn't discuss it though. If you like sex and he knows that , didn't he realise it would have an affect on you? Plus what made his drive suddenly disappear. Seems a shame to suddenly lose that sexual side completely .

OP- I know some couples where it is the other way round too. The female stil wants sex, the male half doesn't. Do you have date nights ? Set the mood. Sometimes after children we feel differently about our bodies and lose confidence. Perhaps Concentrate on building your partner's confidence up and that she feels wanted by you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Talking to a loved one about something really important to both of you can be extremely difficult, especially if one person isn't receptive or doesn't want to discuss the problem. Sometimes a third party such as a couples counsellor can help or just the suggestion if visiting one makes them realise how seriously the problem is affecting the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Talking to a loved one about something really important to both of you can be extremely difficult, especially if one person isn't receptive or doesn't want to discuss the problem. Sometimes a third party such as a couples counsellor can help or just the suggestion if visiting one makes them realise how seriously the problem is affecting the relationship. "

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me "

So because you buy her, you feel she should make more effort for sex, for you?

...

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"Like most things in life you get out what you put in!

Keeping a strong sex life going requires effort - women have different needs and moods to guys - they aren't able to just switch the sex drive on because you fancy a shag. If you make your lady feel sexy and wanted out of the bedroom then she will respond in it!

Don't blame her because you cant be bothered to keep the relationship fresh. Sounds like you need to take a long hard look in the mirror rather than resent her.

What a crock of bollocks that is, relationships are 2 way things, why should sex always be up to the man? Why is it the man's job to make the woman feel sexy? What about the man's needs? They should both be putting equal effort in"

Ace one acing aceness.

Great Post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I've had no sex with my husband since my daughter was 8, she is now 24. I don't know what happened, we have never discussed it. He never had the spare money to treat me to the things your wife has had but I think that if he did, he wouldn't have expected sex to be more exciting because of the treats. As they said, young children are hard work and my husband appreciated that. You should talk to her

I don't understand why you wouldn't discuss it though. If you like sex and he knows that , didn't he realise it would have an affect on you? Plus what made his drive suddenly disappear. Seems a shame to suddenly lose that sexual side completely .

OP- I know some couples where it is the other way round too. The female stil wants sex, the male half doesn't. Do you have date nights ? Set the mood. Sometimes after children we feel differently about our bodies and lose confidence. Perhaps Concentrate on building your partner's confidence up and that she feels wanted by you. "

I guess we didn't love each other enough to discuss it or maybe he wasn't that bothered. never mind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would also like to know how often they have 'boring' sex? As is for example once a week of good sex better than 3 times a week of boring sex? Or how often should we all be doing it?!?

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By *picyminxWoman
over a year ago

Huntingdon


"How come after a few years women lose intrest in sex it becomes a boring chore that's always in missionary and with the lights of blowjobs go out the window so is it wrong that I start to resent her for this "

Sounds like you need to get the spark back. Rather than think of the sex concentrate on the flirting and teasing, sex can become mundane with one person when especially when family life takes over too and unless one person tries to change it or try something different it will remain mundane. If nothing changes nothing changes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

concentrate on the flirting and teasing"

It's not all about the sex, the teasing can be more arousing than the act.

Hex

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

I don't know after 34 years of happy marriage I will tell you if or when that happens.

Perhaps you have been concentrating on yourself when making love rather than her?

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me "

So you buy her things, do you give her love and attention and most importantly your time?

Or do you just throw money at her to pacify her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I ask the OP if he think his wife trusts him. Sorry to bang on about this but if she doesn't trust you that often leads to shit sex. Women's intuition may be telling her you are playing away. Somehow or other you gotta get to the root of the problem and reassure her that you're not 2 timing her, (even if you're not) I'm not accusing, but a guy that loves her to bits and willing to go the extra mile to try and get the marriage to function again.

To be honest there's not alot of advice a forum can give you except the obvious things that you've said you've tried. I have been where you are and my marriage ended in failure so I cannot point to anything I've done that ultimately was a great success.

I did find the best times though were when we had hit the bumpy bottoms somewhere along the way and both agreed we had to make more of an effort to stay together and tried to accomodate each others needs a bit.

Perhaps you are just not compatible which is the conclusion I came to in the end. Mine had a methodist upbringing and little did I know but boy oh boy did that make her very uptight about any sort of naughty sex.

Good luck and the old saying the grass in greener on the other side is never truer when it comes to marriage and infidelity. Also out of the frying pan into the fire is very true as well as I found.

Stick at it if I was you, especially if you've got kids."

A really well rounded view without judgment, giving food for thought!

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

My perspective, as a woman, is if a relationship is good, the sex is good, and if there is something wrong, the sex will inevitably suffer.

Ergo - if the sex has gone wrong it merely shows that something in the relationship is not right, and that's what needs attending to, not the sex per se. All the effort in the world to 'put the spark back' is worth nothing if the relationship is fundamentally wrong.

I don't think the OP is wise to come and look for relief on a swingers site, that could make matters far worse. I have no clue what is going on, but a thought occurred to me - if he is really paying for everything and doing all the work, is she in the relationship for mercenary reasons in the first place? And has she lost respect for him? In my opinion it is hard to stay wanting a man you have no respect for.

May advice would be to talk about the bigger picture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This lady gets everything weekends away nights out clothes shoes meals in posh food places all paid for by me "

Maybe this is part of the problem?

Referring to her as "this lady "

Like a random who you don't have feelings for, rather than your wife.

Sorry if this sounds harsh and yes it is probably not all your fault.

Many thing's can cause a relationship to go sour.

In the end it's usually lack of communication that creates the biggest problem.

How do you think she would feel if she found out about this place or if you found out she was having an affair?

Not judging just asking.

Talk to her, tell her your feelings, tell her that you love her, buy flowers and tell her she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Cause if you love her then in your eyes she should be.

Good luck and hope you get things sorted.

Sex is not the answer to everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes two to tango and when the dancing stop ... is time to start lessons again with each other . sex its like a dance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow once again the haters out in force assuming its all th OP's fault without knowing any of the background etc !

Perhaps he has just come on here as a way to speak to open minded people and get some advice regardless of how he has gone about it ?

There has been some great posts by the decent regulars of the fab forums, so OP i would filter out the crap and try and take some of the good advice on board.

I wish you luck and hope you find happiness again

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