FabSwingers.com forum: A single guy (semi) rant :p

By *razedcat OP Man
over a year ago

London / Herts

It's been said many times before, by many single guys on here, scorned by the more acerbic responses they get on here from couples or women. Sometimes, such a response is based on the fact that the guy completely ignored their preferences, or just said something downright vulgar, or is just not an appealing prospect.

But, and speaking as someone who has experience of arranging meets as a couple, sometimes couples and women on here seem to have become quite jaded

so much so that even the slightest mistake in a guy's approach incurs a very forceful response.

Even when, as a couple elsewhere, I was receiving utterly terrible responses, I just didn't respond at all. There's no use trying to educate those people.

And when we were faced with individuals who, bar one or two minor mistakes in their approach, seemed to have potential, I would coax what I wanted to know or see out of them in a friendly manner.

In short, I really don't understand why some people have become so embittered. Why are you still here, if that's your attitude?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not all couples its coming across like we all treat people that way i hope you dont mean that

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"In short, I really don't understand why some people have become so embittered. Why are you still here, if that's your attitude?"

There will always be deluded, jaded single men, women and couples on here because whoever they are, whatever they look like, this site gives them an opportunity to be "desired" and "chased", and that can lead to them having delusions of grandeur and give the responses you talk about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As you have said we are not here to educate people. If people chose to ignore my preferences or are rude there are plenty out there who meet my preferences and are polite. I chose to focus on them and ignore the others. If people need a second or third chance then they are not for me. Potential or not my play time is limited and I'm not here to play games.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not really come across anyone rude or anything on here....I've had some folk ignore me and I believe thats just a polite way of saying no thanks...

Beyond that I've always been spoken to quite nicely...I believe its a reflection of how I treat others in here and a reflection of the fact I choose not to aknowledge negativity, I don't give grief (much lol, got a bit richeous on the forums once or twice....oops) so I don't receive any basically.

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

In short, I really don't understand why some people have become so embittered. Why are you still here, if that's your attitude?"

having received 1000s of emails over the last few years , from guys that clearly, have not even bothered to read even the first line of a carefully written ,informative and entertaining profile ,is it any wonder ive become cynical and jaded..im just a ropey old tranny.

i would imagine if you were a decent looking sexy couple you would just give up trying to be nice to guys that have probably emailed every couple in a 50 mile radius in the hope of getting a meet . i just dont think that method works ,as endless junk mail becomes annoying and as we all know,goes straight in the bin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've not really come across anyone rude or anything on here....I've had some folk ignore me and I believe thats just a polite way of saying no thanks...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I,m now at the stage where most mails from single guys I don't read, theres literally hundreds of them and they are usually garbage, full of fantasy from guys way outwith my stated range, yes I may miss out on the spectacular guy but I really cant be bothered trawling through the junk that's comes daily. Not my fault I don't think more the guys who write this garbage have spoiled it for the decent ones, I think theres enough detail in my profile and most of the garbage I get sent is by guys who clearly haevnt read it, yes I,m jaded.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You get people like that in every area of life, the ones who seem to enjoy being rude, unkind and cynical. They generally

feel pretty bad about themselves and attempt to make others feel that way too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore people like that, there are unfortunately a few on here. They only make your experience of this site a bad one if you let them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there does come a point on here where you become jaded by just rubbish messages from anybody. We took a little time to write our profile and think it clearly expresses our needs so why not more than a three word message.

That's why we have now become the hunters rather than the hunted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a previous profile on here that we deleted, after a year or so of frustration with some of the messages and replies from Men, Women and Couples! When we decided to give the site a second try, we decided that we would simple use the block feature for anyone who we didnt think was for us or that were rude etc. We block and move on, don't give that profile a second thought and this has made our second venture so much better! Our view is that if you focus on the bad it's a bad experience, focus on the good and it is much more enjoyable! Just our view of course and as some have already said, nasty vile people are in all walks of life and this scene is no different!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there does come a point on here where you become jaded by just rubbish messages from anybody. We took a little time to write our profile and think it clearly expresses our needs so why not more than a three word message.

That's why we have now become the hunters rather than the hunted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some people may view single men as a commodity that they can treat as they wish. I've seen profiles stating what men must / must not do when it comes to the 1st message let alone anything else or face instant blockage!!

If you're getting jaded responses I would delete, block and move on and don't jump through hoops to please.

There a lot of un jaded women & couples out in fab land so concentrate on finding them instead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know single guys get a lot of flak and the majority of posts are negative. Which is why I posted on the swingers chat forum under 'Positive'. Its not all doom and gloom for single males.

But I do appreciate single females and couples do receive a lot of crap from men that don't understand the lifestyle and are just looking for a 'quick fuck'! It does make it harder for the genuine people on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps the rude replies are from men pretending to be women with the intention of breaking you and sending you UNLOS in a vain attempt to rebalance the MF ratio of the site and consequently improve their own chance of success.

Or they could just be rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know single guys get a lot of flak and the majority of posts are negative. Which is why I posted on the swingers chat forum under 'Positive'. Its not all doom and gloom for single males.

I think the opposite....I think the more 'horrible' guys on here the more the decent chaps will stick out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A single guy with a semi, what use is that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is probably the only place women CAN be selfish and pick and choose at their leisure and on a whim...let us fat ugly mentally unstable birds have our moment in the sun...we don't get to shine anywhere else, and yea men do in most other aspects of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know single guys get a lot of flak and the majority of posts are negative. Which is why I posted on the swingers chat forum under 'Positive'. Its not all doom and gloom for single males.

I think the opposite....I think the more 'horrible' guys on here the more the decent chaps will stick out

I agree but sometimes the abuse leaves you in no mood to chat with the decent ones really don't know the answer I m now getting abuse for saying I won't meet due to abuse lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a very easy solution for couples and females who get too many poor quality messages from men. Untick the 'looking for single males' box, and do the hunting yourselves.

That's what we do, and we get virtually no unsolicited messages. Leaving us with plenty of time to focus on profiles that interest us. It works really well.

For many couples and females, however, the only thing worse than getting poor messages is getting no messages at all. And then there's the fear of rejection and failure that might come from being a hunter rather than the prey.

So the moaning will continue

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By *ent57Man
over a year ago

... where the streets have no name!

I agree but sometimes the abuse leaves you in no mood to chat with the decent ones really don't know the answer I m now getting abuse for saying I won't meet due to abuse lol "

Yeap, I think that generally single males are all tarred with the same brush on here - which is a pity for us civilised ones... the number of girls who leave within days of joining is amazing.... probably due to the idjits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but I'm going to go against the grain here.....bad manners are no excuse and good manners cost nothing. This is a 2-way street!!! If you are not interested in someone who messages you.....what is wrong with being polite and spending 20 secs posting a "thanks but no thanks" or alternatively block straight away.....don't just ignore people and leave them guessing otherwise they will contact you again as they will want an answer besides which, it's just plain rude.

If they harass you and constantly contact, be it single male or couple....then block and report (afterall, that's why those options are there).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry but I'm going to go against the grain here.....bad manners are no excuse and good manners cost nothing. This is a 2-way street!!! If you are not interested in someone who messages you.....what is wrong with being polite and spending 20 secs posting a "thanks but no thanks" or alternatively block straight away.....don't just ignore people and leave them guessing otherwise they will contact you again as they will want an answer besides which, it's just plain rude.

If they harass you and constantly contact, be it single male or couple....then block and report (afterall, that's why those options are there).

Do that everyday but does nt remove the hurt some abuse causes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately for every nice guy here there are 10 guys that just refuse to read profiles . They are probably sat wanking in the chat rooms become desperate for a fuck and find someone they fancy, they then write the briefest message (probably one handed as they are still wanking) asking to meet.

Our profile states no friend invites or winks and we cant accomodate but everyday we receive the invites and winks and mails from guys who cant accomodate themselves.

So unfortunately if we reply they get terse response or no response at all. Their fault not ours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they harass you and constantly contact, be it single male or couple....then block and report (afterall, that's why those options are there).

Do that everyday but does nt remove the hurt some abuse causes "

Can't see why you'd get abuse at all.....you look fantastic.

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By *implyJayGeeMan
over a year ago

Garthamlock

I personally think fab has to have a reform of the vetting process on here. Yes there are loads of pains in the arse males, fake profiles etc. I know the admin do their best to try and run the site for free but there lies the problem. I donf know a simple solution, maybe EVERY profile needs to get verified, maybe single makes need to pay a joining fee, as I think that would whittle a load of the Walter mittys out.

I dunno, I see myself as a decent spud on here and have met some right decent folk too, but as someone else stated, there are too many that have delusions of grandeur as well that need pegging down some. That includes females and couples.

It doesn't cost much to be civil.

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By *implyJayGeeMan
over a year ago

Garthamlock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately for every nice guy here there are 10 guys that just refuse to read profiles . They are probably sat wanking in the chat rooms become desperate for a fuck and find someone they fancy, they then write the briefest message (probably one handed as they are still wanking) asking to meet.

Our profile states no friend invites or winks and we cant accomodate but everyday we receive the invites and winks and mails from guys who cant accomodate themselves.

So unfortunately if we reply they get terse response or no response at all. Their fault not ours"

Indeed, for those that deliberately flout and ignore the rules I agree, their fault.

However I'm referring to the ones, who do play by the rules, the ones who do read profiles and in all respects follow advice therein.....but still either get completely lambasted or ignored. They are the ones who deserve at least a little of your times and respect.....afterall, we are all here for the same thing aren't we?? We are all human beings (well most of us are

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally think fab has to have a reform of the vetting process on here. Yes there are loads of pains in the arse males, fake profiles etc. I know the admin do their best to try and run the site for free but there lies the problem. I donf know a simple solution, maybe EVERY profile needs to get verified, maybe single makes need to pay a joining fee, as I think that would whittle a load of the Walter mittys out.

It doesn't cost much to be civil."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know single guys get a lot of flak and the majority of posts are negative. Which is why I posted on the swingers chat forum under 'Positive'. Its not all doom and gloom for single males.

I think the opposite....I think the more 'horrible' guys on here the more the decent chaps will stick out

I agree but sometimes the abuse leaves you in no mood to chat with the decent ones really don't know the answer I m now getting abuse for saying I won't meet due to abuse lol "

The fotums are a good place to chat...you can get to know folk on here then go from there?

I dunno....maybe it makes people less inclined to chat if they've been given grief off others but I just somehow can't bring myself to lay my own sucsess or failiure into the hands of others......

Perhaps folk I've messaged didn't reply because the last guy they replied too was a git....but that's still not the gits fault, its the fault of myself for not trying harder still and the fault of the person not replying for allowing themselves to become jaded....its still not the fault of the 'bad guys' if that makes sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also get abuseive emails by mostly arrogant couples, gues they do it cos they are jelous lol, the reverse block comes in handy a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our profile states no friend invites or winks and we cant accomodate but everyday we receive the invites and winks and mails from guys who cant accomodate themselves.

So unfortunately if we reply they get terse response or no response at all. Their fault not ours

Indeed, for those that deliberately flout and ignore the rules I agree, their fault.

And here I will mention the junk mail analogy. You don't reply to every piece of spam you receive do you. A lot of those will have targeted you precisely and you may well have agreed to go on mailing list, but do you read them in their entirety, look at the products they are trying to sell you online and then send them a polite no thanks? It is not rude to ignore unsolicited missives

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By *orelliaMan
over a year ago

worcester

I think I agree with both sides; yes it must be annoying getting hundreds of emails every day from men who don't read your profiles and who aren't genuine. Those that send you photos you don't want with thoughtless "copy and paste" messages attached. But then if you see an email that has been typed out properly, with a good paragraph or so of intelligent text by a man who has filled out his profile properly, what's the problem in spending a minute or so responding? Particularly when it is from a man who matches the criteria you have specified.

Surely you can tell the difference between a genuine man with good intentions from a prat who just puts "hi babe"? I find if you don't know the right people, if you don't go to the clubs then you're even less likely to get a response.

So the bottom line is, what do we do about it? These idiotic men will continue to email everything in hope of catching a winner. I guess the genuine men have to keep trying and the genuine ladies have to be more open to the reality that not all men on here are the same and be more polite to them. Sort through the shit and look for the good ones. Give these good men a chance ladies, because 9 times out of 10 if you met them in real life through a friend you'd probably really like them....because they are genuine.

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

"Perhaps the rude replies are from men pretending to be women with the intention of breaking you and sending you UNLOS in a vain attempt to rebalance the MF ratio of the site and consequently improve their own chance of success.

Or they could just be rude

PMSFL.

That is so devious. How the hell you come up with that one. I've heard 9/11 conspiracies that are less convoluted than that. LOL

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

If they harass you and constantly contact, be it single male or couple....then block and report (afterall, that's why those options are there).

Do that everyday but does nt remove the hurt some abuse causes

Can't see why you'd get abuse at all.....you look fantastic."

That's probably why she's getting the abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's about time we all just accepted that all single guys are neanderthal idiots, all couples are up themselves and all single women are demanding divas....then we won't need to rant anymore

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By *nleashedCrakenMan
over a year ago

Widnes

Our profile states no friend invites or winks and we cant accomodate but everyday we receive the invites and winks and mails from guys who cant accomodate themselves.

So unfortunately if we reply they get terse response or no response at all. Their fault not ours

Indeed, for those that deliberately flout and ignore the rules I agree, their fault.

)

I'd go even further. I definitely do not want my inbox filled with 'thanks, but no thanks' messages. I think I'd find that very depressing.

No, if I message you and you fancy me message me back. If you don't then please feel free to ignore me. The last thing I want is a sympathy 'thanks, but no thanks' message

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By *razedcat OP Man
over a year ago

London / Herts

"I think it's about time we all just accepted that all single guys are neanderthal idiots, all couples are up themselves and all single women are demanding divas....then we won't need to rant anymore

Being ignored is perfectly acceptable, it's effectively the customary "no thanks" response. But I still feel there are couples out there who treat what is supposed to be a liberating lifestyle as a job, with deadlines, regulations and little room for error!

But as many of you have said too, there are a heap of single guys who just don't have a clue

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By *ordonBennettMan
over a year ago

dover

Our profile states no friend invites or winks and we cant accomodate but everyday we receive the invites and winks and mails from guys who cant accomodate themselves.

So unfortunately if we reply they get terse response or no response at all. Their fault not ours

Indeed, for those that deliberately flout and ignore the rules I agree, their fault.

)

I'd go even further. I definitely do not want my inbox filled with 'thanks, but no thanks' messages. I think I'd find that very depressing.

No, if I message you and you fancy me message me back. If you don't then please feel free to ignore me. The last thing I want is a sympathy 'thanks, but no thanks' message "

I never understand why whining single guys don't get this basic point.

You may have crafted the most thoughtful message but most women or couples look at the profile first and then decide whether to open the message...

The unwanted and unanswered junk mail is such a useful analogy here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's about time we all just accepted that all single guys are neanderthal idiots, all couples are up themselves and all single women are demanding divas....then we won't need to rant anymore

And that, my dear, is the best truth I have read all day!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know single guys get a lot of flak and the majority of posts are negative. Which is why I posted on the swingers chat forum under 'Positive'. Its not all doom and gloom for single males.

I think the opposite....I think the more 'horrible' guys on here the more the decent chaps will stick out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a very easy solution for couples and females who get too many poor quality messages from men. Untick the 'looking for single males' box, and do the hunting yourselves.

That's what we do, and we get virtually no unsolicited messages. Leaving us with plenty of time to focus on profiles that interest us. It works really well.

So the moaning will continue

Ahhh the women and couples that get thousands of unsuitable messages.... my heart bleeds for their inflated ego's!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a very easy solution for couples and females who get too many poor quality messages from men. Untick the 'looking for single males' box, and do the hunting yourselves.

That's what we do, and we get virtually no unsolicited messages. Leaving us with plenty of time to focus on profiles that interest us. It works really well.

So the moaning will continue

Ahhh the women and couples that get thousands of unsuitable messages.... my heart bleeds for their inflated ego's!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's a very easy solution for couples and females who get too many poor quality messages from men. Untick the 'looking for single males' box, and do the hunting yourselves.

That's what we do, and we get virtually no unsolicited messages. Leaving us with plenty of time to focus on profiles that interest us. It works really well.

So the moaning will continue

Ahhh the women and couples that get thousands of unsuitable messages.... my heart bleeds for their inflated ego's!

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