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I thought i was Bi....but i changed my mind....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was at Rios yesterday and met a nice guy who was bi like myself. As a bi, i have never received anal (only sucked cock once). The guy i met was everything i prefered in a guy at the time - clean, shaven and cut.

As we started playing, we only got as far as using our hands. He asked to suck and kiss me but i refused. I had the feeling that i wasnt enjoying it. It wasnt for me....i couldnt go further. My intention was to suck him, but it wasnt in me to do so anymore.

I am very particular with the type of guys i like, but the only enjoyment i had that day was only touching. I felt comfortable with this since i study tantric massage with guys-girls. With women and couples i am at complete ease and eager for more...but with guys alone i felt uneasy.

So i have changed to straight on my profile and wanted some opinions. Its made me quite sensitive to this issue and i wanted more reassurance and advice please!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you really need a label?

Just do what and who you enjoy doing

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Only you will know how you feel.

Pointless asking others.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you really need a label?

Just do what and who you enjoy doing"
i completely agree but if potential meets do ask, I would say you are bi-playful depending on the situation and company

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

You are not straight. You are bi sexual but with limitations on what you like.

Simples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You are not straight. You are bi sexual but with limitations on what you like.

Simples "

I would argue that currently you are straight. If you were bi-curious and at the moment you find men attractive but do not want sexual intimacy with them, you can call yourself whatever you want.

Not so simples!

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By *iss_Samantha_LovecockTV/TS
over a year ago

bmth /poole sometimes blandford

your bi fantasist ...if u need a label

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You are not straight. You are bi sexual but with limitations on what you like.

Simples

I would argue that currently you are straight. If you were bi-curious and at the moment you find men attractive but do not want sexual intimacy with them, you can call yourself whatever you want.

Not so simples!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks so much, i think you are all right in your opinions. I aonly asked because i am confused within myself. I know that i am strongly attracted to females and love playing with couples. It is not the same with men, i dont mind touching or massaging a guy, but there is no attraction there...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yea, thanks for that. Bi curious i thought was between straight and bi. I need to work out where i stand! But its true that it depends on the situation.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Depending on the situation and company is a really good thought too....thank you so much!!!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Sexuality is a spectrum from always heterosexual to always homosexual and people can move up and the continuum as they wish. The labelling options on Fab are a bit limited and blunt so describe yourself as you will and put any qualifiers in your profile text. I put bisexual and in many peoples eyes I am. I'm comfortable having sex with men or women.....but I prefer women and mostly I have 'straight' sex. But I'm not straight.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

But...you will play with a guy in a couple. For whatever reason you are unsure of being in a gay situation and need a girl there for reassurance.

Doesnt mean you wont be sucking on cock (bi) though does it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have met lots of guys who won't kiss another guy or suck another guy but are quite happy to have his cock up their trumpet.

Isn't sex and sexuality just a wonderful myriad of head fucks

I love it

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I have no issue with the organic nature of sexuality. It is just that so many here try and deny that nature.

Be who you are and if you dont like the label....ask yourself why ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the advice, i suppose i was more worried about my feelings than the label. Something that i thought i would enjoy and like didnt turn out to be what i expected. I just wanted reassurance and you've all been wonderful with that!

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

I had a similar thing with mff. Thought I would absolutely love it...but didnt.

So I just had to move on. Will I never do it? I have no idea, but I am me and just carry on.

Cant pretend I am not disappointed though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would suggest that if you still feel confy being bi with couples put that on your profile have fun whatever you do lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have no issue with the organic nature of sexuality. It is just that so many here try and deny that nature.

Be who you are and if you dont like the label....ask yourself why ?"

Maybe because labels are pointless?

Some people get fixated with them? Some people seem determined to apply their own definition to a label?

Just a thought...

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

But bi is bi. It is useful to know...even if it is a very wide area to define.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe. Going back to the OP, he dabbled, it is not for him at this time. Arguably straight?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perhaps you just had bad vibes about this guy, after all if it doesn't feel right, then it usually isn't. Don't feel bad about it and don't dwell on it. If you only feel comfortable being with men in certain situations, then just keep it for those.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

The guy was actually quite cool and i did feel comfortable around him. Only thing was getting down to having sexual fun...thats ehat turned me off a little. I suppose i Hve limitations on what im comfortable with doing to another guy!!

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

But will with a couple ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One ought not to have sex for the sake of it. When you do one thing but want the other, you're not being true to yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every day is a school day and you've learnt another thing about yourself x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Nice one!! Will have to remember it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexuality can be fluid. Nothing has to be set in stone so don't stress about labels just do what you like and feel ccomfortable with but be honest with those you play with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was at Rios yesterday and met a nice guy who was bi like myself. As a bi, i have never received anal (only sucked cock once). The guy i met was everything i prefered in a guy at the time - clean, shaven and cut.

As we started playing, we only got as far as using our hands. He asked to suck and kiss me but i refused. I had the feeling that i wasnt enjoying it. It wasnt for me....i couldnt go further. My intention was to suck him, but it wasnt in me to do so anymore.

I am very particular with the type of guys i like, but the only enjoyment i had that day was only touching. I felt comfortable with this since i study tantric massage with guys-girls. With women and couples i am at complete ease and eager for more...but with guys alone i felt uneasy.

So i have changed to straight on my profile and wanted some opinions. Its made me quite sensitive to this issue and i wanted more reassurance and advice please! "

You can call yourself gay, bi, straight, polysexual, asexual, whatever you like. It's no-one else's business.

Do you fancy ALL women? Probably not. Not fancying all women doesn't make you gay. Perhaps you just didn't fancy him or weren't horny. Maybe you will find a guy you fancy, maybe you won't ever touch a guy again.

As long as you are happy, that's all that matters. Don't beat yourself up about it. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks very much for the kind words... yea i need to be happy, and hope i can make others happy too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went through a similar process myself, several guys put me off but I am still interested. Im unsure of what I want but when the mood takes me I love being with the right guy. Labels make it so much harder and on here cover such a diverse field. Do what makes you happy, don't worry about what pidgeon hole you fit in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps you're hetro flexible. It doesn't really matter.

Like many of us, you are discovering what turns you on.

What flicks your switch one day doesn't have to be arousing every time.

It seems for some, the hardest thing to get their heads around is to enjoy sexual experiences you have to let go. To drop the barriers a little and let the experience in.

Just enjoy what seems fun and don't do what doesn't. Most of all; don't worry about trying to label and explain. Enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Perhaps you're hetro flexible. It doesn't really matter.

Like many of us, you are discovering what turns you on.

What flicks your switch one day doesn't have to be arousing every time.

It seems for some, the hardest thing to get their heads around is to enjoy sexual experiences you have to let go. To drop the barriers a little and let the experience in.

Just enjoy what seems fun and don't do what doesn't. Most of all; don't worry about trying to label and explain. Enjoy "

Very true, thanks. I know you've had hard times and wise words like this help a lot xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have our ups and downs. Focus on the ups. Just get through the downs. All time passes. Xx

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

But...and its a big one...you are describing yourself and your sexuality to others, to allow them to make a judgement as to whether they may like to meet you.

If you are open to, and have had, some bi play with a couple then you should let them know.

I dont care what people think of it, but you should be honest in your self representation. Guys get mocked here for hiding their bi tendancies behind the 'Straight' tickbox.

I only feel its a shame that they feel the need to...not that is their sexuality. Any who look down on you for it, wouldn't have been a meet you would have wanted anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Definately...thanks again. I will mention my bo play...i dont mind doing this. I just want to be open and honest about it to others and myself. I suppose i am still exploring what ticks the box for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But...and its a big one...you are describing yourself and your sexuality to others, to allow them to make a judgement as to whether they may like to meet you.

If you are open to, and have had, some bi play with a couple then you should let them know.

I dont care what people think of it, but you should be honest in your self representation. Guys get mocked here for hiding their bi tendancies behind the 'Straight' tickbox.

I only feel its a shame that they feel the need to...not that is their sexuality. Any who look down on you for it, wouldn't have been a meet you would have wanted anyway. "

I do understand what you're saying and its a good point. However people on here get so held up over the sexual orientations of others and whether a guy is straight or bi or whatever. A man on here must declare any elements of bi play whether they feel that way or not. Some people get so bent out of shape over labels that those labels cannot mean the same thing to everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But...and its a big one...you are describing yourself and your sexuality to others, to allow them to make a judgement as to whether they may like to meet you.

If you are open to, and have had, some bi play with a couple then you should let them know.

I dont care what people think of it, but you should be honest in your self representation. Guys get mocked here for hiding their bi tendancies behind the 'Straight' tickbox.

I only feel its a shame that they feel the need to...not that is their sexuality. Any who look down on you for it, wouldn't have been a meet you would have wanted anyway.

I do understand what you're saying and its a good point. However people on here get so held up over the sexual orientations of others and whether a guy is straight or bi or whatever. A man on here must declare any elements of bi play whether they feel that way or not. Some people get so bent out of shape over labels that those labels cannot mean the same thing to everyone. "

When we joined fab I was listed as straight and my wife as curious.

She tried it out with a few ladies but it just left her cold so she concluded girl on girl isn't for her. She's now listed as straight and has no interest in touching another lady ever again.

As you may have noticed, I got a bit curious and then rather sure of things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But...and its a big one...you are describing yourself and your sexuality to others, to allow them to make a judgement as to whether they may like to meet you.

If you are open to, and have had, some bi play with a couple then you should let them know.

I dont care what people think of it, but you should be honest in your self representation. Guys get mocked here for hiding their bi tendancies behind the 'Straight' tickbox.

I only feel its a shame that they feel the need to...not that is their sexuality. Any who look down on you for it, wouldn't have been a meet you would have wanted anyway.

I do understand what you're saying and its a good point. However people on here get so held up over the sexual orientations of others and whether a guy is straight or bi or whatever. A man on here must declare any elements of bi play whether they feel that way or not. Some people get so bent out of shape over labels that those labels cannot mean the same thing to everyone.

When we joined fab I was listed as straight and my wife as curious.

She tried it out with a few ladies but it just left her cold so she concluded girl on girl isn't for her. She's now listed as straight and has no interest in touching another lady ever again.

As you may have noticed, I got a bit curious and then rather sure of things "

I had noticed that through my various lurks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone should have their own stalker

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks again for the valuable advice. Its really been so valuable. I will stick true to myself and have made up my mind. Its all about having fun and interacting well. I loved being open about my sexuality and i will be open about my past sexuality too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you mention it in your profile so you can't be accused of deceiving people.

It seems rare that anyone reads to the end of a profile though so very few will ever notice!

Smiles all round!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was at Rios yesterday and met a nice guy who was bi like myself. As a bi, i have never received anal (only sucked cock once). The guy i met was everything i prefered in a guy at the time - clean, shaven and cut.

As we started playing, we only got as far as using our hands. He asked to suck and kiss me but i refused. I had the feeling that i wasnt enjoying it. It wasnt for me....i couldnt go further. My intention was to suck him, but it wasnt in me to do so anymore.

I am very particular with the type of guys i like, but the only enjoyment i had that day was only touching. I felt comfortable with this since i study tantric massage with guys-girls. With women and couples i am at complete ease and eager for more...but with guys alone i felt uneasy.

So i have changed to straight on my profile and wanted some opinions. Its made me quite sensitive to this issue and i wanted more reassurance and advice please! "

I am in a similar position. I was very bi curious for a long time, so three years ago joined here, started attending clubs etc. I had sex with many couples and really enjoyed it, but do not get the same feeling when I'm alone with a woman. I now don't have the same urges to sleep with women I had in the beginning and wonder whether it was just a phase or maybe just something I'm going through at the moment. Only time will tell xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im bi-sexual but different ladies bring out different emotions - humans do that to each other -

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"Do you really need a label?

Just do what and who you enjoy doing"

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By *srsozeMan
over a year ago

Romford

labels!

I agree with so many of the posts on here. Putting straight on my profile would be wrong and putting bisexual doesn't feel right either.

There are lots of couples who post that they don't want to meet with bi guys as if we might jump on the other guy.

I would have hoped that more were just upfront and say they don't want any bi play at all!

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