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best ways to let people down gently

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By *rysandMads OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnstaple

I'm rubbish at finding ways to say no without upsetting people, not just here but in general. So, what would you be least upset to hear?

~Crys~

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just 'no thank you' is fine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks but no thanks hope you have fun

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By *erseyridersCouple
over a year ago

wallasey

I wud say ,thank u but there r a few things in ur profile that dnt match up,,n wish them all the best in there quest ,,,[the fem half ]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless it's something outside of our preferences such as smokers, straight couples, long way away, where we'd give a reason, if it's because we don't find them attractive, we say Thanks for your message/friend request etc, you're not for us but thanks anyway and happy swinging.

Then we don't tend to enter into any further dialogue, because there isn't any point. We often get just a thanks back and haven't really had much aggro from it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say, sorry your to far lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just be honest and fair, theres no need to feel bad about turning someone down in a decent way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would say, sorry your to far lol "

Sorry, Penge is too far to travel for milking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would say, sorry your to far lol

Sorry, Penge is too far to travel for milking "
lol and yes it is

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

I usually say "You are lovely in every respect but God, you have fucked up teeth!".

They are usually cool with that and haven't had any bunny boiler so far..lol

On a serious note, a simple "thanks for the message but not what I had in mind" should be OK

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By *rysandMads OP   Couple
over a year ago

Barnstaple

Thanks everyone

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By *umasutraCouple
over a year ago

Guildford

Thanks for asking this question and thanks to everyone who contributed. We found it helpful as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the same issue I find it hard saying no x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have the same issue I find it hard saying no x"
ok don't say no just say yes where we meeting xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have the same issue I find it hard saying no xok don't say no just say yes where we meeting xx "

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/11/14 20:05:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unless it's something outside of our preferences such as smokers, straight couples, long way away, where we'd give a reason, if it's because we don't find them attractive, we say Thanks for your message/friend request etc, you're not for us but thanks anyway and happy swinging.

Then we don't tend to enter into any further dialogue, because there isn't any point. We often get just a thanks back and haven't really had much aggro from it..."

You have it just about perfect if more people were as considerate as you, FAB would feel like a much friendlier place

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By *riendly FiresCouple
over a year ago

Beverley

Erm. We'd like to talk to you about religion....glad we found you on here. What you doing on a site like this. Is now a good time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/11/14 20:44:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm sorry but I'm not interested in pursuing things further, I wish you well on the site"

You still get idiots who like to persist or ask why but I ignore from that point onwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some we just delete there message as a no thanks if they had bothered to read our profile it would of saved them time writing as they are not what we are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say thanks for taking the time to message but you're not what I'm looking for on here, wish them all the best then block so there's no Spanish inquisition as to why or worse, immature abuse. Its nothing personal, just another filter as I often find if I don't block, people message again at a later date. Saves a lot of wasted time for both parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm rubbish at finding ways to say no without upsetting people, not just here but in general. So, what would you be least upset to hear?

~Crys~"

It's best to just say , at this time your just not my type

You may think your upsetting them but they will admire your honesty ,I f they get shitty with you it just proves you were right .

I always try to stay friendly after all , what you want today is not what you want tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?

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By *itcoinMasterMan
over a year ago

Colwyn Bay

[Removed by poster at 30/11/14 14:01:18]

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By *itcoinMasterMan
over a year ago

Colwyn Bay


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt? "

Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt? "

Don't enter into any other conversation, you've politely said you're not interested so it should go no further (that's why I block after a polite no thanks!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?

Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject. "

deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm rubbish at finding ways to say no without upsetting people, not just here but in general. So, what would you be least upset to hear?

~Crys~"

i think your reading to much into it, most people won't be upset if you say no thanks to them, most will just move on without giving you a second thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a single guy. I get told no thanks all the time. It's no problem. No point getting upset. It's a sex site. Plenty around for everyone. Xx

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By *itcoinMasterMan
over a year ago

Colwyn Bay


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?

Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.

deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion "

True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?

Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.

deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion

True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out "

I just see no point in entering into a further conversation after saying no thanks. In my experience, it can turn into abuse however nicely you put it and its just not worth it. If someone told me they weren't interested I'd respect that, wish them well and block them so as to not accidentally bother them again at a later date.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt? "

If needed yes... Then block if they start whinging!

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By *itcoinMasterMan
over a year ago

Colwyn Bay


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?

Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.

deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion

True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out

I just see no point in entering into a further conversation after saying no thanks. In my experience, it can turn into abuse however nicely you put it and its just not worth it. If someone told me they weren't interested I'd respect that, wish them well and block them so as to not accidentally bother them again at a later date."
more sound advice noted My first day on forums, thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sorry but not for me. Only problem is when they ask why. Do you then be blunt?

Why? "Y is a crooked letter and you should no better!" Something an ex told me once...useful deflection or confusion to turn around an awkward subject.

deflection and self questioning only really works in an argument, if you have already made your mind up then it is no longer up for discussion

True can't disagree with that logic learn something new everyday but then it pushes other information out

I just see no point in entering into a further conversation after saying no thanks. In my experience, it can turn into abuse however nicely you put it and its just not worth it. If someone told me they weren't interested I'd respect that, wish them well and block them so as to not accidentally bother them again at a later date."

True! Best to wish them well and don't enter into the reasons why they're turned down. If they can't accept it, then it's their problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A rejection from me is normally due to people not reading my profile so I either say "Reading profiles may help you actually meet people" then block them or if I've had a few idiots in a short span then I just delete & block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I wouldn't be ignorant like a lot of people on here are, courtesy costs nothing! I'd be straight to the point and say how it is ( sorry your just not what I'm looking for but thanks anyway, )

Simple, straight to the point no drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

used to be over polite - used to get upset - now still polite but a short ''thanks but no thanks have fun'' type message does it for us

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton


"I'm rubbish at finding ways to say no without upsetting people, not just here but in general. So, what would you be least upset to hear?

~Crys~"
A polite decline from us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i just ignore messages i am not interested.

tried saying no and they ask why.

easier my way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally I wouldn't be ignorant like a lot of people on here are, courtesy costs nothing! "

Ignorant in what way ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I get rejection emails (which is often lol) I like to reply something like...

"Thanks for taking the time to reply to my message and good luck"

I just think being polite and courteous is the way that I want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we just tell them, no we don't want to meet or block them if they pester

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By *ornysxcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Maldon

For us the biggest part of wanting to meet us mutual attraction. If either of us isn't attracted to one or both of the other party the. We say so. No point meeting of you can't ambet aroused. They can take it how they like, but better to be up front an honest than to try an play it Down. We know we're not everyone's cup of tea an we are fine with that.

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

Make out its their fault you don't want to meet them and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a cushion under their ass....then push!

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Just say no thanks.

If that is too big a problem hire a marquee and meet all those unattached males at the one time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/12/14 23:09:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather catch my balls on a barb wire fence seems to do the trick

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By *ilkchocolate87Man
over a year ago

sw london

Generic no thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/12/14 10:52:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No thanks just leads to "but why not" its better to say there is no attraction or be a little more specific though there are some who still go on and on asking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just 'no thank you' is fine."

If they're immature an get abusive, just block them. I'm allways polite and don't rise to the bait if they do get the arse.

Most people are pretty grown up about it, we all can't fancy everyone, life would be a big bun fight if we did

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All it takes is no thanks I'm/we are not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

be honest but not harsh about it. I personally would also include what i didn't like about the profile as its really surprising how many people don't help each other on here after all every single member is on here for the same reasons.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"be honest but not harsh about it. I personally would also include what i didn't like about the profile as its really surprising how many people don't help each other on here after all every single member is on here for the same reasons. "

Would you really include what you don't like about the profile, even if they hadn't asked? If someone sent a thanks but no thanks message with a profile critique we'd be a bit fed up. If we want help with it we'd ask.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason."
I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works. "

Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site?

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By *y2funMan
over a year ago

DUDLEY


"be least upset to hear?

~Crys~"

how about "fuck off ugly" ?

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By *rench KissesCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

[Removed by poster at 03/12/14 15:45:50]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works. "

Yep that'd be right, I'm a devil for damaging the site me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.

Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site? "

I did knock a brick out of the foundation last week while we were entertaining a gentleman against the side wall of the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.

Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site?

I did knock a brick out of the foundation last week while we were entertaining a gentleman against the side wall of the site "

Oh, you people who actually meet...you're ruining it!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works. "

oh and by the way words on a screen have little effect on me but if I were you I'd take your status down.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"oh and ps not every single person is on here for the same reason. I would like to point you to the section on the page to forums. Now if people use their little brains all you got to do is search these and you will find countless of forums asking why they cant get meets etc so dont try giving me that crap that everyone is on here for different reasons. Next point i would like to make is stop moaning that the site is crap if no body will help to find solutions to make the site better. Personally i think it is people like you that has damaged this site so much that it no longer works.

Works wonderfully for us, and looking the evidence, for nicecouple too...just wondering what it is you think they and "people like them" have done to damage the site?

I did knock a brick out of the foundation last week while we were entertaining a gentleman against the side wall of the site

Oh, you people who actually meet...you're ruining it!! "

I am sorry I'll report our profile in a minute

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