FabSwingers.com forum: ethnic preferences

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

Is it acceptable to post things like, black cock only, no Asian men please, or white only. "No offence meant just our preference,"

I have no such preferences it is personality and yes to a degree looks but even then a person with the right attitude and sense of humour will always get my attention.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Yes

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it is. You're allowed to choose who you want to fuck and who you fancy and can put it on your profile to attract those people and to discourage anyone else from wasting your (and their) time.

If people don't fancy someone you can't force them to hide it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's perfectly acceptable. People have their preferences and they should be respected. It's that simple.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Yes"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has a preference so how is it not acceptable just because you put it in black and white on your profile ,it's the same as saying you like large or small men or women etc

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes

"
+2

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Is it acceptable to post things like, black cock only, no Asian men please, or white only. "No offence meant just our preference,"

I have no such preferences it is personality and yes to a degree looks but even then a person with the right attitude and sense of humour will always get my attention."

is it any different to the age preference you have???

or the preference for the people you are looking to meet?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Struggling with this, however I need to ask...and?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

Why shouldn't it be acceptable?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it is, it's not racist, it's a way for people to cut down on unwanted messages and also stops people wasting their time messaging others who would never be interested in them.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's about time sometime asked this!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *L RogueMan
over a year ago

London

Yep!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get offended when i see no-one over a size 12-14 on a profile. Why shud it be different for ethnic preferences? I'm not gonna lose weight to meet with someone. Some ppl just aren't attracted to certain types. On the other hand others like those types. Swings and roundabouts. Xx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *gotwatuwantMan
over a year ago

TPA

Perfectly OK I actually think admin should add race to profile preference.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Live and let live...

Making a thread about the choices people make, isn't going cause people to revisit their choices.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *enny PR9TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport

Congratulations you've all passed the entrance exam that qualify you to become a Premier League manager or Chairman.

Jenny xxx

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, of course it is, why do people feel it is taboo to mention racial preferences yet don't worry about mentioning age or size preference.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

Yes its acceptable.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes of course it is. It's no different to any other preference anyone has on their profile.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uracell-DannyMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

"
Absolutely bang-on.

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

Absolutely bang-on.

Sarah x"
I actually have no problem with racists to a certain degree - some of my best friends are racists

They're brave enough to say it though

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

Absolutely bang-on.

Sarah xI actually have no problem with racists to a certain degree - some of my best friends are racists

They're brave enough to say it though

Sarah x"

Seriously? It's racist if someone doesn't want to fuck someone? So we should have to fuck everyone?

Straight guys that won't meet guys... is that homophobic?

Couples that only meet couples... is that discrimination against single people?

What bollocks.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iss69Man
over a year ago

Knutsford

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

Absolutely bang-on.

Sarah xI actually have no problem with racists to a certain degree - some of my best friends are racists

They're brave enough to say it though

Sarah x

Seriously? It's racist if someone doesn't want to fuck someone? So we should have to fuck everyone?

Straight guys that won't meet guys... is that homophobic?

Couples that only meet couples... is that discrimination against single people?

What bollocks.

"
it's racist if they are judging a whole race, yes...............

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

Absolutely bang-on.

Sarah xI actually have no problem with racists to a certain degree - some of my best friends are racists

They're brave enough to say it though

Sarah x

Seriously? It's racist if someone doesn't want to fuck someone? So we should have to fuck everyone?

Straight guys that won't meet guys... is that homophobic?

Couples that only meet couples... is that discrimination against single people?

What bollocks.

Saves me writing this

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

[Removed by poster at 23/11/14 08:38:03]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I do kind of agree that in the broad sense of the word it is discrimination to blanket block a whole race because of their skin colour etc

I used to be on the side of personal preference, and I still have a toe in that water but the more I read about it the more it does fall under that umbrella. How can you say you are not attracted to a whole race? Everyone is different. By saying you are not attracted to a whole race based on one or two individuals you are discriminating.

That's not to say that people have to fuck people they don't like, just that they should give everyone the same chance.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do kind of agree that in the broad sense of the word it is discrimination to blanket block a whole race because of their skin colour etc

That's not to say that people have to fuck people they don't like, just that they should give everyone the same chance. "
Exactly

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do kind of agree that in the broad sense of the word it is discrimination to blanket block a whole race because of their skin colour etc

That's not to say that people have to fuck people they don't like, just that they should give everyone the same chance. "

Could just be another filter. I am attracted to Caucasians but I don't exclude others. Other members may be more attracted to Caucasians and therefore choose to exclude others as a filter to reduce number of messages.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uracell-DannyMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Scarlet stars, read my response again.

You are jumping to wild conclusions. I never asserted or implied what you seem outraged about x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

[Removed by poster at 23/11/14 08:45:54]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Btw nothing wrong with discriminating for or against something or someone in relation to prospective partners of intimacy. I just disagree it's racism.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Race is not just skin colour; it is facial features, attitude, etc too

I prefer men of Western European decent despite how tanned or not their skin might be. However, I don't rule everyone else out as there are always exceptions to the rule

Similarly, I prefer men taller than myself

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Scarlet stars, read my response again.

You are jumping to wild conclusions. I never asserted or implied what you seem outraged about x"

I'm not outraged about anything. It was just a comment.

People can choose who they want to meet. Doesn't make them racist.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Race is not just skin colour; it is facial features, attitude, etc too

I prefer men of Western European decent despite how tanned or not their skin might be. However, I don't rule everyone else out as there are always exceptions to the rule

Similarly, I prefer men taller than myself"
Agree. Always exceptions to the rule - a very sane and logical outlook

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't fuck anyone over 60. Suppose that makes me ageist and insane.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ngel n tedCouple
over a year ago

maidstone

It's acceptable to do whatever you like, until it becomes unacceptable...then you'll be told it's unacceptable!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

People can choose who they have sex with. ANY reason for NOT having sex with someone is perfectly valid and acceptable.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uracell-DannyMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Of course everyone should have the freedom of choice to choose who to sleep with.

How they arrive at the choice is where it becomes interesting as this can be due to racism, ignorance, money, peer pressure, environmental factors, conditioning.

If you have not suffered racism. It is difficult to empathise and relate to.

Judging some of the replies...looks like Jeremy Clarkson Xmas DVD will be sold out again.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People can choose who they have sex with. ANY reason for NOT having sex with someone is perfectly valid and acceptable. "
Of course it is. Even if the reason is racism, ageism, hair-ism, bi men-ism, height-ism, whatever-ism, be honest that you have that 'ism'. Don't try and dress it up as something else IMO

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People can choose who they have sex with. ANY reason for NOT having sex with someone is perfectly valid and acceptable. "

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course everyone should have the freedom of choice to choose who to sleep with.

How they arrive at the choice is where it becomes interesting as this can be due to racism, ignorance, money, peer pressure, environmental factors, conditioning.

If you have not suffered racism. It is difficult to empathise and relate to.

Judging some of the replies...looks like Jeremy Clarkson Xmas DVD will be sold out again."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uracell-DannyMan
over a year ago

Leicester

As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

What utter nonsense!

I'm a black women who only meets white straight submissive men for play. I'm a Domme and that's what turns me on sexually.

The law cannot dictate who I fuck.

As an aside, my partner who is snoring beside me is a white, Dutch, Ukip voting, dominant pain in arse I met on here a year ago.

Life really isn't simply black or white!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Of course it is, it's not racist, it's a way for people to cut down on unwanted messages and also stops people wasting their time messaging others who would never be interested in them.

It could very well be racist.

According to UK law any comment is racist if the person reaading the comment takes it as racist.

It is the way it is taken not the way it is meant that counts

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

Absolutely bang-on.

Sarah xI actually have no problem with racists to a certain degree - some of my best friends are racists

They're brave enough to say it though

Sarah x

Seriously? It's racist if someone doesn't want to fuck someone? So we should have to fuck everyone?

Straight guys that won't meet guys... is that homophobic?

Couples that only meet couples... is that discrimination against single people?

What bollocks.

Should have read to the end and save my fingers!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

"
Haha so true

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"I do kind of agree that in the broad sense of the word it is discrimination to blanket block a whole race because of their skin colour etc

That's not to say that people have to fuck people they don't like, just that they should give everyone the same chance. "

but it's their own loss..so let them be.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

What utter nonsense!

I'm a black women who only meets white straight submissive men for play. I'm a Domme and that's what turns me on sexually.

The law cannot dictate who I fuck.

As an aside, my partner who is snoring beside me is a white, Dutch, Ukip voting, dominant pain in arse I met on here a year ago.

Life really isn't simply black or white! "

It is not a matter of the law saying who you can fuck but whether it is racist to advertise your preference.

The law is very clear it states -

(1)A person discriminates against another in any circumstances relevant for the purposes of any provision of this Act if—

(a)on racial grounds he treats that other less favourably than he treats or would treat other persons; or

(b)he applies to that other a requirement or condition which he applies or would apply equally to persons not of the same racial group as that other but—

(i)which is such that the proportion of persons of the same racial group as that other who can comply with it is considerably smaller than the proportion of persons not of that racial group who can comply with it; and

(ii)which he cannot show to be justifiable irrespective of the colour, race, nationality or ethnic or national origins of the person to whom it is applied; and

(iii)which is to the detriment of that other because he cannot comply with it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting debate.

It is racist and very discriminatory. Some of the people on here will try and dress it up and say it is not. But this is a common and naive defence mechanism.

In what other aspect would it be permissible? You think an employer can list their preferences like that in a job spec?

Let the UKIP voters swing each other. I was never a fan of incest

What utter nonsense!

I'm a black women who only meets white straight submissive men for play. I'm a Domme and that's what turns me on sexually.

The law cannot dictate who I fuck.

As an aside, my partner who is snoring beside me is a white, Dutch, Ukip voting, dominant pain in arse I met on here a year ago.

Life really isn't simply black or white!

It is not a matter of the law saying who you can fuck but whether it is racist to advertise your preference.

The law is very clear it states -

(1)A person discriminates against another in any circumstances relevant for the purposes of any provision of this Act if—

(a)on racial grounds he treats that other less favourably than he treats or would treat other persons; or

(b)he applies to that other a requirement or condition which he applies or would apply equally to persons not of the same racial group as that other but—

(ii)which he cannot show to be justifiable irrespective of the colour, race, nationality or ethnic or national origins of the person to whom it is applied; and

(iii)which is to the detriment of that other because he cannot comply with it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iblackMan
over a year ago

Leeds

Very interesting, but each to their own. Just don't understand those who don't meet black people but they viewing your profile! How ironic. More a case of self importance; l ain't gonna be your exception. Loool.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very interesting, but each to their own. Just don't understand those who don't meet black people but they viewing your profile! How ironic. More a case of self importance; l ain't gonna be your exception. Loool."
We had a couple message us for a meet. I looked at their profile, it said no blacks or Asians - I pointed out the irony of them messaging us. Their preference has since been altered to just 'no Asians...' Ha ha they can jog on

Aren't people funny...

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Maybe they don't know that you are black until they view your profile

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

Ok 1st please be clear I was not suggesting people who put these statements are Racist. More a bit nieve.

not all black men have big cocks, some white or Asian guys have very big cocks.

not all white woman are sluts in bed.

2. No one is compelled to fuck anyone let alone some one you do not fancy.

3. Tall short heavy thin bald hairy. If we forget it is a person we are fucking than we may as well use a toy.

4. Sexuality is much more relevant on here than race.

As swingers I just think that we miss a trick when we limit ourselves in this artificial and pointless way.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they don't know that you are black until they view your profile

"
We've loads of public pics. My point was though, after talking to me for a bit, then seeing my pics - they changed their preference. Shows how daft it is to have a preconceived idea

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *enandlisaCouple
over a year ago

Burnley'ish

"Is it acceptable to post things like, black cock only, no Asian men please, or white only. "No offence meant just our preference,"

I have no such preferences it is personality and yes to a degree looks but even then a person with the right attitude and sense of humour will always get my attention."

Anything is acceptable......unless its said by Dave Whelan.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok 1st please be clear I was not suggesting people who put these statements are Racist. More a bit nieve.

not all black men have big cocks, some white or Asian guys have very big cocks.

not all white woman are sluts in bed.

2. No one is compelled to fuck anyone let alone some one you do not fancy.

3. Tall short heavy thin bald hairy. If we forget it is a person we are fucking than we may as well use a toy.

4. Sexuality is much more relevant on here than race.

As swingers I just think that we miss a trick when we limit ourselves in this artificial and pointless way.

Number 4 is a moot point if you're not sexually attracted to a certain race.

What's artificial about attraction (which is the root of preferences)?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iblackMan
over a year ago

Leeds

@Sarah.. Absolutely hilarious. I think it's those who perhaps feel more important than they actually are; more like I don't like black people but you are cool. Lol.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"@Sarah.. Absolutely hilarious. I think it's those who perhaps feel more important than they actually are; more like I don't like black people but you are cool. Lol."
Lol very true

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

If someone thinks its racist when a woman sets a preference against people of colour, shouldn't her profile then be reported? Should she be forced to meet people of colour? If we go back to the job analogy, a boss must give all candidates equal consideration, but they are not forced to employ the non-white if they are not qualified to do the job, so forcing people to change their preferences on their profiles will achieve nothing, as even if people of colour can message or meet them, they still won't fuck them. And you've just wasted a bunch of time and effort finding that out.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *uracell-DannyMan
over a year ago

Leicester

A leader of a party in Germany once had a preference for people with blond hair and blue eyes

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

Maybe they don't know that you are black until they view your profile

We've loads of public pics. My point was though, after talking to me for a bit, then seeing my pics - they changed their preference. Shows how daft it is to have a preconceived idea

Sarah x"

My response was to the guy who could not understand why someone viewed his profile when their preference is non-black people

I guess it is the same as me saying why do black men view my profile when my preference is for European men (and I am not referring to their citizenship)

Having said that, although I have a preference, it is not an exclusion. It simply means that I am more likely to be attracted to Caucasion men than to others

I have met some black men and some Asian men because I felt an attraction to those particular men

I suppose I could remove the racial, height, age, sexual orientation preference from my profile but instead just delete messages from those who don't meet those preferences anyway. But somehow, that doesn't sit well with me as it seems sly

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time."

Well stated Wyrd

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A leader of a party in Germany once had a preference for people with blond hair and blue eyes"

Grow up!! I find that highly offensive that you are saying having preferences makes people nazis (and yes that is what you are implying). I am sure holocaust survivours would not agree.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dam it _iblack, got exited then, thought you may have been Bi! Grrrr!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a very Interesting debate.

As stated by most, we all have different preferences regarding who we are attracted to.

Personally I like tall solid guys with a rugby physique.....skin colour never used to come into it for me.

However, I now think an ethic or height filter would be a great addition. Three years ago I was raped by a black guy from Yorkshire. Never again could I meet someone who was black or someone with a Yorkshire accent.

I'm not for one second suggesting all black men or men with Yorkshire accents are rapists...... its the negative association in my head that would turn me off.

How about Instead if having a filter saying what you don't like, there are tick boxes stating what you do you like.....that way surely people can't be offended???

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"that way surely people can't be offended???"

How much do you want to bet?

There is already an ethnic filter. The thing is, people are not required to list their ethnicity on here (and rightly so).

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Dam it _iblack, got exited then, thought you may have been Bi! Grrrr!

I looked as well, hoping he was

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dam it _iblack, got exited then, thought you may have been Bi! Grrrr!

I looked as well, hoping he was

Lol

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist. "

not wanting to fuck ONE Asian man because he doesn't appeal to you doesn't make you racist, stating that you don't want to fuck ALL Asian men means you are discriminating (I am still making my mind up if the term racist does apply or not but discrimination definitely does).

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"that way surely people can't be offended???

How much do you want to bet?

There is already an ethnic filter. The thing is, people are not required to list their ethnicity on here (and rightly so). "
Why can't people state their ethnicity and why would it be wrong to do so?

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"that way surely people can't be offended???

How much do you want to bet?

There is already an ethnic filter. The thing is, people are not required to list their ethnicity on here (and rightly so). Why can't people state their ethnicity and why would it be wrong to do so?

Sarah x"

They can, but its not compulsory.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem I've seen with this is that people seem to consider users of this site as businesses offering services that should be obliged to cater for all. It's not, it's like-minded people looking for the fun they want to have.

I find it funny when people on similar posts have classed it as discrimination. Shows they treat it as transactional and don't respect what this site actually is!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *iblackMan
over a year ago

Leeds

@Salisburycouple. Lol.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"The problem I've seen with this is that people seem to consider users of this site as businesses offering services that should be obliged to cater for all. It's not, it's like-minded people looking for the fun they want to have.

I find it funny when people on similar posts have classed it as discrimination. Shows they treat it as transactional and don't respect what this site actually is!"

I don't really understand what you mean? just because we can debate the potential of discrimination doesn't mean we have no respect for the site.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist. "

Actually I never suggested that it did. But you never know you might meet one that you do.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it funny when people on similar posts have classed it as discrimination. Shows they treat it as transactional and don't respect what this site actually is!

I don't really understand what you mean? just because we can debate the potential of discrimination doesn't mean we have no respect for the site."

I mean some people treat it like people have to have sex with anyone like they're prostitutes, and they're offering a service. That's not the case, unlike businesses, personal preferences are completely acceptable.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time."

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't meet indian/pakistani men. I have met 2, neither knew how to wipe their bums properly, I'm not risking it again. My loss maybe, but I get to keep a clean tongue.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

They put it on their profile because that's what they want. I don't tend to think too deeply about other peoples preferences. As long as I get to meet the people who want to meet me, I'm happy.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley

I find it funny when people on similar posts have classed it as discrimination. Shows they treat it as transactional and don't respect what this site actually is!

I don't really understand what you mean? just because we can debate the potential of discrimination doesn't mean we have no respect for the site.

I think you have hit the nail on the head

Otherwise, those men who refuse to have sex with other men are guilty of breaching the laws on discriminating against homosexuals

To the guy (not you) who compared people with a preference to Nazis in Germany; you don't have the slightest notion what that means. You would have if you were in Germany at the time. That was not a preference of who to have sex with; that was extermination of entire races

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

forcing people to change their profile seams equally totalitarian. I just wonder why people put these statements on at all. And as I meet people of all types to. Do you want to draw straws with me for the best? Lol"
They put those kind of statements on to offend - pure and simple. Just blank the ones you don't want, surely. I'm sure they'll cope with a message (most likely copied and pasted) being ignored...

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't meet indian/pakistani men. I have met 2, neither knew how to wipe their bums properly, I'm not risking it again. My loss maybe, but I get to keep a clean tongue.

You can't tongue them all with the same erm, tongue?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

Maybe they don't know that you are black until they view your profile

We've loads of public pics. My point was though, after talking to me for a bit, then seeing my pics - they changed their preference. Shows how daft it is to have a preconceived idea

Sarah x

My response was to the guy who could not understand why someone viewed his profile when their preference is non-black people

I guess it is the same as me saying why do black men view my profile when my preference is for European men (and I am not referring to their citizenship)

Having said that, although I have a preference, it is not an exclusion. It simply means that I am more likely to be attracted to Caucasion men than to others

I have met some black men and some Asian men because I felt an attraction to those particular men

I think you are getting to the point of what I am clumsily trying to say. You do not rule out other posabilities even if you have a first choice. So really you only need to say tend to like, mainly, or such and you are giving much truer and not sly picture of yourself.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *horshiperMan
over a year ago

London

Guys there is no need to get so worked up about it. Is not like a job interview. Profiles are window shopping and its far easier if preferences are set out so you dont waste each others time.

We seriously do not need to get worked up by this just live and live. As long as you are not racially abused just deal with why would you wantbto meet some that is not attracted to you.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't meet indian/pakistani men. I have met 2, neither knew how to wipe their bums properly, I'm not risking it again. My loss maybe, but I get to keep a clean tongue.

Yes, I hear you Clem Fandango!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I won't meet indian/pakistani men. I have met 2, neither knew how to wipe their bums properly, I'm not risking it again. My loss maybe, but I get to keep a clean tongue.

You can't tongue them all with the same erm, tongue?

A tangy treat I don't want to repeat!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

As has already been said,i have no problems with people stating their preferences,but it does make me feel slightly 'iffy' now and then,by the way its worded, such as NO BLACKS..we don't do ASIANS.. I am straight so no GAY/Bi's..usually followed by;I/we don't have any issues with ........only our preferences.. Ax

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

"What a very Interesting debate.

As stated by most, we all have different preferences regarding who we are attracted to.

Personally I like tall solid guys with a rugby physique.....skin colour never used to come into it for me.

I'm not for one second suggesting all black men or men with Yorkshire accents are rapists...... its the negative association in my head that would turn me off.

How about Instead if having a filter saying what you don't like, there are tick boxes stating what you do you like.....that way surely people can't be offended???"

What can any man say to this. What happened to you is not acceptable and not right. Your aversion is understandable and justified for you for now. Genuinely hope you are ok now.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"As has already been said,i have no problems with people stating their preferences,but it does make me feel slightly 'iffy' now and then,by the way its worded, such as NO BLACKS..we don't do ASIANS.. I am straight so no GAY/Bi's..usually followed by;I/we don't have any issues with ........only our preferences.. Ax"

But surely if they have that on their profile, you'll know they are not for you. Who cares what their motivation is? If it excludes people then move on.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it funny when people on similar posts have classed it as discrimination. Shows they treat it as transactional and don't respect what this site actually is!"

Read discrimination as bias (again for and against). It's perfectly acceptable.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

Sarah x"

What an awful blanket statement. That's like telling me my heightist statement is to cause offence... Utter garbage!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

Sarah x

What an awful blanket statement. That's like telling me my heightist statement is to cause offence... Utter garbage!"
Funny how you didn't quote my whole comment........... but yeah, whatever

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?"

I am not attracted to Asian men. No I haven't meet all asian men on the planet so can't say there maybe one out there that I may find attractive. The Asian men I have met I have not been attracted to and have not wanted to play with. Rascist - no! Preference - yes. Seeing things that isnt there is utter bollocks and actually makes a mockery of real discrimination . I will play with who I want to play with. Some oeople just look for offence where nobe is intended. That's their problem.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

Sarah x

What an awful blanket statement. That's like telling me my heightist statement is to cause offence... Utter garbage!Funny how you didn't quote my whole comment........... but yeah, whatever

Sarah x

I didn't comment on the rest of it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

But surely if they have that on their profile, you'll know they are not for you. Who cares what their motivation is? If it excludes people then move on."
...again its the way it is said and EMPHASISED that slightly bothers me..Ax

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/11/14 11:12:41]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't meet people from the Isle of man, three legged weirdos.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What a very Interesting debate.

As stated by most, we all have different preferences regarding who we are attracted to.

Personally I like tall solid guys with a rugby physique.....skin colour never used to come into it for me.

I'm not for one second suggesting all black men or men with Yorkshire accents are rapists...... its the negative association in my head that would turn me off.

How about Instead if having a filter saying what you don't like, there are tick boxes stating what you do you like.....that way surely people can't be offended???

What can any man say to this. What happened to you is not acceptable and not right. Your aversion is understandable and justified for you for now. Genuinely hope you are ok now."

Oh yes...I'm fine now thank you very much. Just annoyed he got away with it especially as I'm pretty sure he's done it before and will probably do It again! Could be wrong, but that's my Instinct on this one.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

Sarah x

What an awful blanket statement. That's like telling me my heightist statement is to cause offence... Utter garbage!Funny how you didn't quote my whole comment........... but yeah, whatever

Sarah x

I didn't comment on the rest of it."
Can't really comment on any of it then can you? Seeing as what you DID quote, was taken out of context, renders your opinion on that particular comment, as you so eloquently put it - garbage

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Testify!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I'm gonna get Clem a box of baby wipes for Xmas

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?

Lol I'm not offended, just having a discussion. Play with who you want to, no skin off my nose but what you are doing is discrimination...it is there so no low flying bollocks round here!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *horshiperMan
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 23/11/14 11:22:08]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A leader of a party in Germany once had a preference for people with blond hair and blue eyes"

Has anyone here suggested that those they don't find attractive should be exterminated?

Some people have no idea.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

forcing people to change their profile seams equally totalitarian. I just wonder why people put these statements on at all. And as I meet people of all types to. Do you want to draw straws with me for the best? LolThey put those kind of statements on to offend - pure and simple. Just blank the ones you don't want, surely. I'm sure they'll cope with a message (most likely copied and pasted) being ignored...

Sarah x"

Possibly some do intend to offend, that's a fair point. I avoid those types even if their ranty profile doesn't exclude me.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm gonna get Clem a box of baby wipes for Xmas

What colour?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

Sarah x

What an awful blanket statement. That's like telling me my heightist statement is to cause offence... Utter garbage!Funny how you didn't quote my whole comment........... but yeah, whatever

Sarah x

I didn't comment on the rest of it.Can't really comment on any of it then can you? Seeing as what you DID quote, was taken out of context, renders your opinion on that particular comment, as you so eloquently put it - garbage

Sarah x

Maybe the context intended, but not the context perceived. It's a standalone statement. I cannot see what the rest of your paragraph has to do with it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

Sarah x

What an awful blanket statement. That's like telling me my heightist statement is to cause offence... Utter garbage!Funny how you didn't quote my whole comment........... but yeah, whatever

Sarah x

Maybe the context intended, but not the context perceived. It's a standalone statement. I cannot see what the rest of your paragraph has to do with it."

If you'd stated "some", then I'd probably perceive your intention.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although I am fine meeting men of all colours, and am fine with people who choose not to (more for me!), I am interested in what people think we should do.

Get used to seeing people putting preferences on their profiles to save everyone time.

Again no one can or should be forced to fuck anyone else (that is actually the definition of rape).

Sarah x

What an awful blanket statement. That's like telling me my heightist statement is to cause offence... Utter garbage!Funny how you didn't quote my whole comment........... but yeah, whatever

Sarah x

Maybe the context intended, but not the context perceived. It's a standalone statement. I cannot see what the rest of your paragraph has to do with it."
I think it's quite clear but it's okay that you don't understand what I'm saying.

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm gonna get Clem a box of baby wipes for Xmas

What colour? "

Make sure they're flushable!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?

Lol I'm not offended, just having a discussion. Play with who you want to, no skin off my nose but what you are doing is discrimination...it is there so no low flying bollocks round here!"

Well thankfully I am not providing a service and I am here for my fun only, which includes meeting only who meets my preferences. So I'm actually discriminating against all those who don't meet my preference. Doesn't make me a racist tho.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?

Lol I'm not offended, just having a discussion. Play with who you want to, no skin off my nose but what you are doing is discrimination...it is there so no low flying bollocks round here!

Never said it did. If you read what I put you'll see intentionly didn't say racist.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

okay.... but since you wont meet... could i just call you homophobic????? in fact... I just did!!!!

so how do you like that label????

and please don't use the line "but some of my best friends are gay....." that doesn't wash....

homophobe!!!!!!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

p.s i don't believe any of the above... but you can see how a label is damaging and how it sticks because of a preference you made.......

p.s i could have called you a lot worse than homophobe... but it was the nicest...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?

Lol I'm not offended, just having a discussion. Play with who you want to, no skin off my nose but what you are doing is discrimination...it is there so no low flying bollocks round here!

Agree having a preferance does not make you a racist. I suppose it is about why you have a preference and is it open to challange by yourself meeting people outside of that preference and perhaps changing it as a result.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?

Lol I'm not offended, just having a discussion. Play with who you want to, no skin off my nose but what you are doing is discrimination...it is there so no low flying bollocks round here!

By challenging my preferences you are asking me to justify them. I actually have to justify my preferences to no one. Who I meet is my choice and my business, nobody elses.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

"As Martin Luther King said; '...Don't judge me on the colour of my skin but the content of my character.'

Sorry Mr King, but in 2014 and on FS website its all about the colour of your skin (no time to examine the content of ones character) x

Seriously!! So now if I don't want to fuck an Asian man I am racist. What utter bollocks! I have a preference. My preference. I dont want to fuck Asian men. Simple! Doesn't make me racist.

I bet you don't find all white men attractive so equally, can you find all Asian men unattractive? or is attractiveness not the basis of your choice no to play with them?

Lol I'm not offended, just having a discussion. Play with who you want to, no skin off my nose but what you are doing is discrimination...it is there so no low flying bollocks round here!

By challenging my preferences you are asking me to justify them. I actually have to justify my preferences to no one. Who I meet is my choice and my business, nobody elses."

No I agree you have every right to fuck who you want. I was simply asking if the possibility of discovering new things was there. No one can or should force anyone else to do differently but it seams a shame if people are not open to new possibilities.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn't a job application, it's a place to meet people for sexual encounters. Whatever your preference, it should be respected.

Just because we don't want to have sex with black guys doesn't mean we don't like black people!!! Plenty of people of here make it clear that they don't like overweight people or facial hair which counts me out for them. No problem, it's personal choice. Does it mean they hate me? No !!!!

Our bodies, our choice ......

Take care x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

"This isn't a job application, it's a place to meet people for sexual encounters. Whatever your preference, it should be respected.

Our bodies, our choice ......

Take care x "

Don't disagree with this.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

YES true.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like people who write that kind of thing on their profile - it gives me a good indication that I won't want to meet them.

I have no problem with personal preferences, however to write off an entire race, nation, etc, off seems a little... well... I don't know. Just not in line with my own world views.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I often post that am looking to meet someone from a hill tribe in northern Thailand. Quite specific but that is my Ethinic preference.

Still waiting........

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

A"
is there?

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This whole site is about preference....so as you can find and get what you want.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x"

There is to me - and I suspect many!

Not finding someone sexually attractive due to skin colour is no different to not finding someone sexually attractive due to any other physical feature. Physical features can't be changed. Personality, attitude and endless other non physical characteristics also influence decisions re preferences. Nobody ever complains about preferences towards these.

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I guess we are both discriminating racists!

Oh well, won't loose any sleep over it

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"Well I guess we are both discriminating racists!

Oh well, won't loose any sleep over it

It does always seem to be asian people who complain the most about peoples preferences on these threads on the forum, wonder why that is?

A lot of profiles state "looking for BBC only, no whites" yet you don't see white people complaining much about this, if i see a profile like that, i just accept the preference and move on to next profile, no big deal. Why is it asians make a big deal out of it, is it the current climate of political correctness in this country or something?

If they don't want to meet then they don't want to meet, deal with it and move on.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

"
Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x"

How is having a sexual preference judging?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well I guess we are both discriminating racists!

Oh well, won't loose any sleep over it

It does always seem to be asian people who complain the most about peoples preferences on these threads on the forum, wonder why that is?

If they don't want to meet then they don't want to meet, deal with it and move on."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is pathetic. It's like the bi guy threads where people starting crying homophobia.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

A"
Not attracted to a colour? A race? That's fine. Still racism though

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

Sexual attraction or non attraction to one person is fine but to a whole race of people?

I really do get the preference argument, I'm not saying everyone has to go and fuck everyone else but the fact is a blanket 'no Black's is discrimination based on prejudgment of a person because of their skin colour. That's the fact of it.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

Sexual attraction or non attraction to one person is fine but to a whole race of people?

I won't fuck anyone over 60. Is that age discrimination?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

Sexual attraction or non attraction to one person is fine but to a whole race of people?

I won't fuck anyone over 60. Is that age discrimination?"

Yes lol you may not like to think that it is but it is. Why do you not like to fuck over 60's?

I have a guideline age limit on my profile but in reality have played with people much older at clubs etc before anyone points that out lol

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

Sexual attraction or non attraction to one person is fine but to a whole race of people?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

Sexual attraction or non attraction to one person is fine but to a whole race of people?

So if you don't find someone sexually attractive (note 'sexually') you should throw personal preference aside?

You say pre judgement.

I say preference.

Oh - and I haven't bothered to mention so far but skin colour is in no way a preference of mine.

I just respect the preferences of those that consider it to be.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sexual attraction is the key determiner of preference.

If you're not attracted by something - be that skin colour, hair colour, height, gender, age, body size - whatever - then listing those preferences will help those looking to meet you.

People commonly state things they are looking for in company. Stating what you are not looking for is no different.

There is a huge difference between racism, sexism, ageism - any 'ism' - and sexual attraction and preference.

Ais there?

Sarah x

There is to me - and I suspect many!

I don't understand why people struggle to understand this?

There is a huge difference between racism - i.e negative connotations or attitudes to someone based in race - and simply not finding someone sexually attractive.

Racism = Judging every person belonging to a certain colour or race as being identical to each other or all having the same personalities/ features etc.....

What's so hard to understand about that?

Sarah x

How is having a sexual preference judging?

Sorry - I'll add to that.

How is not being sexually attracted to someone judging them?

Judging them would entail a negative viewpoint.

Simply not being sexually attracted to someone is in no way negative and bears no relation to an opinion to them as a person.

Sexual attraction or non attraction to one person is fine but to a whole race of people?

So if you don't find someone sexually attractive (note 'sexually') you should throw personal preference aside?

You say pre judgement.

I say preference.

Oh - and I haven't bothered to mention so far but skin colour is in no way a preference of mine.

I just respect the preferences of those that consider it to be.

A"
Where has it been said personal preference should be thrown aside?

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think it is, was back in the 60's we saw signs like that on the street back in Alabama

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

SomeONE as in a single person, yes it's preference preference.

Whole race based on perceived non attractiveness is discriminating against people.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

It is nothing to do with preferences it is a clear breach of UK law whether you like it or not.

Have a read of the 1976 Act

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1976/74/section/1

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Note in law you can have preferences but you are not allowed to publish such prefrences

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SomeONE as in a single person, yes it's preference preference.

Whole race based on perceived non attractiveness is discriminating against people. "

But I do not find dark skin attractive.. Therefore I dont wish to fuck anyone I am not attracted too,as that is definitely not what swinging is about,it should be a mutual decision. I am however friends with black people as they are nice people, I don't discriminate against black people/ Asians but as swinging goes I choose who I'm attracted to and no one else will ever have the right to tell me who I should fuck.

Political correctness gone absolutely mad.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/11/14 15:15:40]

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SomeONE as in a single person, yes it's preference preference.

Whole race based on perceived non attractiveness is discriminating against people.

Political correctness gone absolutely mad."
Lol..just Lol

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is nothing to do with preferences it is a clear breach of UK law whether you like it or not.

Have a read of the 1976 Act

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1976/74/section/1

"
Yes I think fab need to change it asap, but as we seen before. 2 rules from online and real world it seem. Its ok to say it online but you cant in real life.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"SomeONE as in a single person, yes it's preference preference.

Whole race based on perceived non attractiveness is discriminating against people.

Political correctness gone absolutely mad.Lol..just Lol

Sarah x"

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"It is nothing to do with preferences it is a clear breach of UK law whether you like it or not.

Have a read of the 1976 Act

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1976/74/section/1

so the law says you have to shag someone because you don't find them attractive..... well thats news to me!!!!

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

According to fab forums there are no racist people on this site. There is a very fine line between preferences and racism on some profiles and attitudes of some fabbers.

I have more respect for the likes of KKK or NF who are at least not in denial than some people on this site. And it's usually predictable which posters are gonna say what when this kind of post pops up.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Note in law you can have preferences but you are not allowed to publish such prefrences"

of course you are... otherwise for example dating sites would not exist........

the law would apply if you are providing a service... last time i checked having sex with someone isn't providing a service....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"It is nothing to do with preferences it is a clear breach of UK law whether you like it or not.

Have a read of the 1976 Act

http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1976/74/section/1

If someone is forced to have sex with someone when they don't want to that is also called rape and is also against the law.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"According to fab forums there are no racist people on this site. There is a very fine line between preferences and racism on some profiles and attitudes of some fabbers.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the law says you have to shag someone because you don't find them attractive..... well thats news to me!!!!"
No but you don't have to state it on the profile, instead search for them yourself.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"Note in law you can have preferences but you are not allowed to publish such prefrences"

Are you saying then they don't publish the ethnic preference on the profile and just delete all the unwanted mail that comes into their inbox instead?

Really what would that achieve other than wasting peoples time?

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the law says you have to shag someone because you don't find them attractive..... well thats news to me!!!!No but you don't have to state it on the profile, instead search for them yourself."

Stating It saves time for anyone who messages you! Should they decide too actually read your profile that is...

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"According to fab forums there are no racist people on this site. There is a very fine line between preferences and racism on some profiles and attitudes of some fabbers.

no... there are racist people here... classic example is the imfamous person who posted "they would not be friends with people who had played with black people".........

but having sex with someone is a personal thing... and i determine what type of people I am attracted to.... be that black or white, tall or short, fat or thin, old or young... or a million other things......

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so the law says you have to shag someone because you don't find them attractive..... well thats news to me!!!!No but you don't have to state it on the profile, instead search for them yourself."

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"According to fab forums there are no racist people on this site. There is a very fine line between preferences and racism on some profiles and attitudes of some fabbers.

no... there are racist people here... classic example is the imfamous person who posted "they would not be friends with people who had played with black people".........

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is a very fine line between preferences and racism on some profiles and attitudes of some fabbers.

"
This

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"According to fab forums there are no racist people on this site. There is a very fine line between preferences and racism on some profiles and attitudes of some fabbers.

playing devils advocate.....

so from reading your profile... does that mean someone could accuse you of ageism, sizeism, sexism, and racism........

would that be a fair assumption....

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

I have no such preferences it is personality and yes to a degree looks but even then a person with the right attitude and sense of humour will always get my attention."

Only the naiviest people / most desperate to be seen to appeal to as many as possible would possibly consider this to be the truth.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"According to fab forums there are no racist people on this site. There is a very fine line between preferences and racism on some profiles and attitudes of some fabbers.

So its ok for you to state your preferences on your profile but when others do it, it's not ok???

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK. Following the "racism" logic someone who prefers to have sex with people of the same race as them is racist and should meet everybody who contacts the just so Respect voters among us are happy. What about those who prefer people of a different race? Or a few different races? Or if they like people who have more than one race in them? Or if their preference is fir a culture or language? Or they do not like certain traits? Do preferences have to be conscious?

Finally, what is being suggested? Meeting every single guy who contacts us at the expense of our families? Well, perhaps some people have too much time on their hands.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *andeman OP Man
over a year ago

bedforshire

I have no such preferences it is personality and yes to a degree looks but even then a person with the right attitude and sense of humour will always get my attention.

Only the naiviest people / most desperate to be seen to appeal to as many as possible would possibly consider this to be the truth."

Or folk who value sex with people and not toys. I have been on the scene a very long time and found desperate a very unattractive look. Actually.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope fab implements the idea, would make it more friendlier too

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By *entaur_UKMan
over a year ago

Cannock

"I hope fab implements the idea, would make it more friendlier too

Completely pointless idea, would just waste peoples time mailing others who are not interested in meeting them.

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope fab implements the idea, would make it more friendlier too

"
aw shags, knew you had a deep and sensitive side hiding somewhere

Sarah x

(closed, thread got too big)

Reply privately