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"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them? Just a thought around if it held negative connotations." it wouldn't stop us in certain contexts. | |||
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"I just think profiles that say "I'm very dom" means they like been on top during sex and have seen it on a few other profiles " Purely for my interest, is that because of experience or is it the connotation. I suppose I'm trying to establish what the word Dom means to people and is that a true reflection from experience, or just a reaction to the word. | |||
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"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them? Just a thought around if it held negative connotations." absolutely | |||
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"I just think profiles that say "I'm very dom" means they like been on top during sex and have seen it on a few other profiles Purely for my interest, is that because of experience or is it the connotation. I suppose I'm trying to establish what the word Dom means to people and is that a true reflection from experience, or just a reaction to the word." In your profile I think it's very much in context and would only put us off because A is what people call an alpha male and it could cause sparks. I think it explains how he is very well. | |||
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"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them? Just a thought around if it held negative connotations." Dom is another one of those labels which is wide open to interpretation. Just like when someone says they're into BDSM but don't explain what they mean. Are they talking about a little light slapping or being strung upside down and severely beaten. Which is why we tend to avoid profiles using terms of this kind. | |||
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"I think when you see a girls profile saying something like "seeks dom male" puts men off because I for one wouldn't know how to live up to that really, I'm just little old me. I think people should expand a bit and give an explanation about what they want from a dom or bull. I'd be happy to slap the odd arse and take the lead but I'm not into the leather clad whips and chains scenario but that's just me " Someone who is honest. Kudos to you sir! Being a dom is a bloody hard thing. And many of the 'doms' here would be hardly interested in proper aftercare, which kind of proves my original post. I am generalising though. This isn't always the case an I am sure some here are real and true. I just wonder where the crossover is between here and another well known kink site. | |||
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"I think when you see a girls profile saying something like "seeks dom male" puts men off because I for one wouldn't know how to live up to that really, I'm just little old me. I think people should expand a bit and give an explanation about what they want from a dom or bull. I'd be happy to slap the odd arse and take the lead but I'm not into the leather clad whips and chains scenario but that's just me Someone who is honest. Kudos to you sir! Being a dom is a bloody hard thing. And many of the 'doms' here would be hardly interested in proper aftercare, which kind of proves my original post. I am generalising though. This isn't always the case an I am sure some here are real and true. I just wonder where the crossover is between here and another well known kink site. " I briefly brought up aftercare in another thread a couple days ago. I often look at these type of threads and wonder at why people automatically move to extremes. Every distribution curve has higher and lower levels and I expect the binomial distribution of this way of thinking will be the same. There are a number of motives behind me asking and many thanks to those how have responded so far. | |||
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"I think when you see a girls profile saying something like "seeks dom male" puts men off because I for one wouldn't know how to live up to that really, I'm just little old me. I think people should expand a bit and give an explanation about what they want from a dom or bull. I'd be happy to slap the odd arse and take the lead but I'm not into the leather clad whips and chains scenario but that's just me Someone who is honest. Kudos to you sir! Being a dom is a bloody hard thing. And many of the 'doms' here would be hardly interested in proper aftercare, which kind of proves my original post. I am generalising though. This isn't always the case an I am sure some here are real and true. I just wonder where the crossover is between here and another well known kink site. I briefly brought up aftercare in another thread a couple days ago. I often look at these type of threads and wonder at why people automatically move to extremes. Every distribution curve has higher and lower levels and I expect the binomial distribution of this way of thinking will be the same. There are a number of motives behind me asking and many thanks to those how have responded so far. " Who | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about." Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision? | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about. Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision? " No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol. | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about. Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision? No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol." Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar. At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over Nina xx | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about. Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision? No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol. Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar. At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over Nina xx" Oh, you know i did wonder if i gave off a submissive look, so thanks for that. Best get some better pics arranged then, lol. The collar is just my long hair. | |||
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"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them? Just a thought around if it held negative connotations. Yes, as does bull...not the dynamic we're looking for...and my experience has been that they are unable to not bring that persona to the table." Definitely this for us but I would see that as a positive as we wouldn't be what they wanted either. That said, I would also expect them to have an alternate profile on the other site if they really knew what they were doing anyway Nina x | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about. Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision? No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol. Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar. At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over Nina xx Oh, you know i did wonder if i gave off a submissive look, so thanks for that. Best get some better pics arranged then, lol. The collar is just my long hair." Just looked at your other pics and can see your hair now there are some great pics there already, bet one of the pics of your foot would help get messages from male subs the first one looks really good x | |||
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"If anything it would make me message them I love a man who knows what he wants and how he wants it. " As your name suggests | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about. Sexual blinkers - tunnel vision? No idea. I should ask the next one who messages lol. Honest answer from her (Nina), your avatar does have quite submissive look to it and you also seem to be wearing a collar. At this point their brain has moved south and, like so many on here, they don't read any of the text in your profile so send their missive over Nina xx Oh, you know i did wonder if i gave off a submissive look, so thanks for that. Best get some better pics arranged then, lol. The collar is just my long hair. Just looked at your other pics and can see your hair now there are some great pics there already, bet one of the pics of your foot would help get messages from male subs the first one looks really good x" Yeah, good idea. And i might do a nice foot pic or better shoe pic and upload it when i'm available in the morning, thanks. | |||
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"Dom,bull,cuckold,all an instant delete/ignore from us." Same for me. Sub is also an off put for me too x | |||
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"Dom,bull,cuckold,all an instant delete/ignore from us. Same for me. Sub is also an off put for me too x" Same for me on my couples profile anyone we meet will be on even ground with no one taking charge or being told what to do. | |||
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"I get the odd guy message me, making a big announcement of being 'dom'. Just because I'm TG, it doesn't mean I'm sub or anything. To me, sub is something in Das Boot. I've found that the more someone bigs up being dom, the more plastic they are with it. The genuine ones don't seem to feel the need to make a big thing of it. " I've often wondered if some bring it to the swinging scene because they were unsuccessful in the fetish scene? | |||
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"Yes as I feel if a guy needs to have it in his name or in big letters then he isn't the type of dominant male I'd want contact with. Not that I look for it but helps me avoid" agree with the above | |||
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"Oh yes, big put off same with bull " Same here | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about." Mainly because the kinda guys who think they are "doms" but actually have no experience/idea are the same ones who can't read. Rather like the bi/gay guys who message me asking to suck my cock because they like to suck straight men! Guess what...no guy has EVER sucked of a straight guy... If people actually read profiles...and responded (or not) appropriately then half or more of the gripes on this site would disappear over night. | |||
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"I am very submissive to the right person, but I will not sub to anyone off fab. Its about trust, and a special relationship. My fab meets are equal. My submission is a very special gift that resides with someone I trust implicitly, that I respect and have a deep fondness for. " Agreed I am a switch but have been in relationships where I am sub but it has to be based on trust | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about." I've put I am not looking for dominant guys and I still get them | |||
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"I get the odd guy message me, making a big announcement of being 'dom'. Just because I'm TG, it doesn't mean I'm sub or anything. To me, sub is something in Das Boot. I've found that the more someone bigs up being dom, the more plastic they are with it. The genuine ones don't seem to feel the need to make a big thing of it. I've often wondered if some bring it to the swinging scene because they were unsuccessful in the fetish scene?" Mmmm interesting thought. I spent time on the other site, however struggled with it. One it was so damned difficult to navigate and Two, so damned serious. I hold a maxim: if it's not fun then why the hell are you doing it. I'm I bringing my sexual fet into swinging, no, I'm bring me and what I am. | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about. I've put I am not looking for dominant guys and I still get them " I removed the not looking for dominant from my profile and got less. Am thinking maybe they just search for the keyword 'dominant' then didn't bother reading our profiles? But yeah i don't like so block them as well, kind of scared of them but it probably is just they did the above and aren't trying to force dommes to submit or anything...if you give them a chance then you'll never know but i don't want to take that risk. | |||
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"Yep, puts me off as well. Just because i don't like dominant guys. It's actually surprising the amount of Doms who message me when i've put in my profile that i'm looking for a Sub and ask for no Doms. Would love to know what that's all about. I've put I am not looking for dominant guys and I still get them I removed the not looking for dominant from my profile and got less. Am thinking maybe they just search for the keyword 'dominant' then didn't bother reading our profiles? But yeah i don't like so block them as well, kind of scared of them but it probably is just they did the above and aren't trying to force dommes to submit or anything...if you give them a chance then you'll never know but i don't want to take that risk." I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. | |||
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" I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. " Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them. | |||
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" I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them." Incongruence reveals many things | |||
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" I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them. Incongruence reveals many things " Like what? | |||
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" I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them. Incongruence reveals many things Like what?" Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this. | |||
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"depends how its meant and used " | |||
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" I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them. Incongruence reveals many things Like what? Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this. " Ah ok. Think i get you, that applies to me? I'm just not as physically strong as what i used to be so worried about being overpowered, most of these guys are physically huge. | |||
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" I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them. Incongruence reveals many things Like what? Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this. Ah ok. Think i get you, that applies to me? I'm just not as physically strong as what i used to be so worried about being overpowered, most of these guys are physically huge." Think we both know the mind is more powerful then physical strength. | |||
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" I suspect people who don't know, don't understand and possibly see you as a little bit of a blinkered masculine challenge - just a thought. Maybe, but they always say they want to submit to me for a change of scene (which is understandable) but then i look at their profile and it's completely all about being them dominant and i just don't trust them. Also, after giving this information out publicly, even if their profile said they were interested in trying submission for a change then i still wouldn't trust them. Incongruence reveals many things Like what? Not walking their talk, dissidence in values, miss held beliefs. quiet often, even the person who is being incongruent doesn't recognise this. Ah ok. Think i get you, that applies to me? I'm just not as physically strong as what i used to be so worried about being overpowered, most of these guys are physically huge. Think we both know the mind is more powerful then physical strength. " Exactly and thanks for that because i worked out why i go for submissive guys today anyway, and it works for me. | |||
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"Dom in a profile stop people from contacting them? Just a thought around if it held negative connotations." I wouldn't be interested in someone claiming to be Dom or a bull or whatever. Tried meeting a few and all of them were dumb ass wannabes. Tried Dom sessions with quite a few males and females in clubs and found the same. Experience varies massively. I've found an experienced Dom will spot my potential a mile off. So in answer to your question; a claim on a profile would put me off. Yes. | |||
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"It kinda does even though I've been in a genuine d/s relationship, the reason being is that dynamic takes time to build and huge amount of trust. I've had guys who were my type messaging me suggesting the things that me and my ex used to do and I've been wary because I don't even know the person. I don't think d/s is something that's compatible with swinging or casual meets. It's something way deeper than that." Mmm I think that the term Dom seems to be generalised into "one size fit all" mentality, hence the bad connotation. This form of interaction, to me, involve two people, where the attention is focused their needs, and that's not the Dom instant gratification. Acuity around the "dance' is imperative as the dance changes with mood and personality and yes, it needs to be built. Well to me anyway. | |||
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"If you want to be dominant, you don't want to meet people that aren't into domination. Think it's probably wise to offer an explanation of the extent to which you want to dominate. My profile makes it clear I'm dominant, but I'm not into anything extreme, just taking control, works for me " Binomial distribution, wheres the mean | |||
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"I get the odd guy message me, making a big announcement of being 'dom'. Just because I'm TG, it doesn't mean I'm sub or anything. To me, sub is something in Das Boot. I've found that the more someone bigs up being dom, the more plastic they are with it. The genuine ones don't seem to feel the need to make a big thing of it. " To be honest I think because I've put Im Domme a lot of guys seem to like it. Shame I'm not looking for them generally. | |||
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"Puts me off and makes me do an eyeroll I don't recall and real Doms contacting me or using the word on their profiles/as usernames. Just the guys who think it means bossing a woman around, being rough and expecting me to respond to their ridiculous messages where they tell me what they intend to do "to" me, etc. and that such a relationship, "relationship" or dynamic is something that is forced on me as the woman. *insert major eyeroll here. Could of course be just my experience." Quoting my own quote but I'm not always put off by genuinely dominant guys. Just the ones I previously described who claim to be from the off. Yes, there is a difference - in my book anyway | |||
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"I am very submissive to the right person, but I will not sub to anyone off fab. Its about trust, and a special relationship. My fab meets are equal. My submission is a very special gift that resides with someone I trust implicitly, that I respect and have a deep fondness for. " this sums up exactly how I feel. Avoid anyone who declares dom and instantly block those who decide to message saying they'll dominate me/use me like the slut I am etc. | |||
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