FabSwingers.com forum: A little frustrated with fabswingers

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.

First things first, i know my profile isn't very long or informative, i have no intention of posting private things in public, that is for private chat or PMs, i don't think that is particularly unreasonable.

I have sent a few messages (with face photo) and around half have been deleted outright, thats cool because i know whats what. However the other half are read but not deleted, and not replied to, i know the female members must get alot of messages, but some of mine are now getting on for a month old, i havn't tended to send winks or friends requests as i don't want to be pushy and i have tended to delete sent messages lately and just wait for a reply. This is now causing me a problem as ive lost track of those who may have been interested and those who are definately not.

Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that it's best to take no response as not interested too. If they do eventually respond its a bonus.

We sometimes take over a week to reply to messages and that must be annoying for the original sender.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they haven't replied they aren't interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they was or are interested they would of or will message you back. Just move on mate. Good luck

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested. "

Agree with this! If they were interested, they would have responded,

regardless of age of the message if read!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply = no interest.

Move onwards and upwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be patient. The good ones who like the look of you will message. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for the replies everyone, don't understand why someone would not delete the message if they were not interested though.

Anyway thanks again all.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Thank you for the replies everyone, don't understand why someone would not delete the message if they were not interested though.

Anyway thanks again all."

Lots of people don't bother deleting messages after they have been read. There is no need to as the site does it automatically after a certain period of time.

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By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I try to reply to all mails and do tend to get 'repeat' mails.

If you are sending mails and unsure if you have mailed them before possibly say that in your mail?

A 'please forgive me if I have contacted you before' sort if thing.

If your mail gets deleted I would then possibly block them to save mailing them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The message can simply have dropped off the bottom of the page after it had been read. That can happen when you get loads of messages.

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By *ouplekinkCouple
over a year ago

kink town

As others have said take a no reply as not interested.

However there is nothing on your profile to tempt them to reply, you ask on your profile to contact you for anymore info, but people wont do that. Your profile is YOUR chance to sell yourself and tempt people to want to know more, but it doesn't do that at the moment.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

However, I do believe I sent a message to privateparts on here then a year later sent a reply. So be patient.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/11/14 22:03:13]

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My advice. Dont look at your sent messages. Just do a bulk delete

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I try to reply to all mails and do tend to get 'repeat' mails.

If you are sending mails and unsure if you have mailed them before possibly say that in your mail?

A 'please forgive me if I have contacted you before' sort if thing.

If your mail gets deleted I would then possibly block them to save mailing them again."

Thanks for the reply, i don't want to send repeat mails, just wondering why messages were not deleted and if i was expected to send more mails with with more detail, auto delete explains that one.

Thanks again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As others have said take a no reply as not interested.

Very true there doesn't appear to have been a lot of effort in the profile.

Photos are well...

And, stating the obvious of course, a lot of people will take one look at the cannot accommodate bit and just pass the profile.

The old thing of 'effort in=results out' works every time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/11/14 22:14:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are the only mate. i send a lot of mails and very rare i get a reply. i never rude or send pics of my penis apart from face thats all but like someone said here jut move on init, i suppose women here are picking and choosing so...not easy especially for single lads

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?"

Thanks for replying, yes i know the curt profile is not the best way to do things, however like i said in the OP im not going to post private stuff in public. A short message with my pic should be enough to know if you want to know more, i don't thing thats unreasonable, im happy to accept that others may think it is.

Thanks again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.

Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."

There is a spelling mistake on your profile and if you can't make sure you'd got that detail right...

Also, I'm sure you could write a little bit more on your profile, such as a vague outline of your sexual interests...

You may not understand why you need to, but understand it helps others decide what they like and you are competing with many other men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The way I see it fella is this place is full of single guys and woman can afford to pick and choose, and fair play, guys would do the same.

However if you were out 'on the pull' would you always go to the same bar if you knew it was mostly full of guys? There are many other sites that you can go on, FAB shouldn't be your only source of action...if you get my meaning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?

Thanks again."
You carry on as your doing , after all its less competition for the other guys that make an effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested. "

A lot don't and ask why you didn't answer its one of the most off-putting things people can do and switches you off them totally. In general if someone has read and is interested they will reply at some point.

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By *ouplekinkCouple
over a year ago

kink town

"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?

Thanks again."

The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested.

In that case then, if they're too pig ignorant to realise what a no reply to their message means, then they deserve what they get - which is nothing. I apologise if this post sounds a trifle ranty but basic real life social skills tell us if you speak to someone and they ignore you, do you speak to someone else or do you keep badgering them for a reply? A reply, if it ever comes, would be more along the lines of 'fuck off' rather than 'fuck me'. it's really not a difficult concept to grasp.

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By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton

"My advice is to assume that if you haven't had a reply then they are not interested.

Especially when they put a time limit on it! like "I saw you read my mail 6 hours ago and I haven't heard back"... fuck off, we dont sit here all day you know!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing."

Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?

Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Looking for NSA fun and games, face pic sent on request and always with PMs, i would like to especially meet single ladies or couples {mf,ff).

Don't know why some people expect a full profile and life history in public view, if you are interested just ask in a PM!'

That is your full profile.

Ask yourself this, if you were reading it, what would you find interesting in it to make you want to PM the poster?

There isn't anything in it, is there?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Would just like to mention i have not re-sent mails, sent multiple mails to one person, sent PMs asking why someone hasn't replied or sent PMs asking why my message was deleted.

Just to clarify.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?"

May I sound my horn ? Xx

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By *ouplekinkCouple
over a year ago

kink town

It depends what you are putting in your PMs, if you are selling yourself then why not just put that on your profile? There's nothing private needed, just try and hook the reader.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Would just like to mention i have not re-sent mails, sent multiple mails to one person, sent PMs asking why someone hasn't replied or sent PMs asking why my message was deleted.

Just to clarify."

But still complaining knowing your profile is crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't know why some people expect a full profile and life history in public view, if you are interested just ask in a PM!'

Not expecting your life history but as previous posters have advised, at least give a few lines about your likes

Your comment is also quite abrupt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People like to see if there is something to connect with rather than wasting time getting to know someone that ultimately doesn't flick their switch.

And to be honest, to me it looks like you will keep your options open and tailor your likes and dislikes to match whoever you are messaging.

You don't see why you need a full profile, why would anyone feel compelled to drag the info out of you?

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Keep up the good work fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they reply...they are interested (unless a polite "no thanks" - this would indicate your messages are ok but you/profile are not to their liking)

If they delete...not interested

If they don't reply....not interested (same thing)

If ALL are deleted/no reply then problem is with messages AS WELL as with you/profile.

If you are not whining BUT don't wish to put more into your profile then sending messages, or even being on here, is wasting your time.

You don't need advice, you have said yourself that your profile lacks substance. Until you sort that out then no point.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If they reply...they are interested (unless a polite "no thanks" - this would indicate your messages are ok but you/profile are not to their liking)

If they delete...not interested

If they don't reply....not interested (same thing)

If ALL are deleted/no reply then problem is with messages AS WELL as with you/profile.

If you are not whining BUT don't wish to put more into your profile then sending messages, or even being on here, is wasting your time.

You don't need advice, you have said yourself that your profile lacks substance. Until you sort that out then no point."

Thanks for the reply, its appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your 'non whining' post is longer than your entire profile!

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By *at69driveMan
over a year ago

Hertford

"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.

Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."
. People are not required to post private information on their profile .What is required is an informative profile with hobbies and interests in order that people can judge what type of person you are . As people can pick and choose a profile with no information will just be ignored . Your profile is your opportunity to market yourself in a highly competitive market. In addition a variety of pictures are usually required .

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By *ilberryMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Advice, improve, learn and keep trying rather than just plain trying?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?"

Simply: this!

I always read the profile before the message. If there's no information I delete the message unread!

My life won't be long enough for me to waste it extracting basic information from people too damned lazy to complete a profile. It they find that too taxing they sure as hell won't be able to keep up with me and Goliath!

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By *ussypussWoman
over a year ago

South Birmingham waiting for the bf to come back after crimbo

There is a way of knowing whether you've messaged someone before!!

When you open a profile, take a look in what I like to call the lefthand margin, there are things like 'you/they winked xxdays/weeks/months ago', 'you/they messaged xxdays/weeks/months ago' and 'you are friends'.

These little notes stay there irrespective how long ago these things took place.

It is a bit basic coz it doesn't go into any greater detail than this bit it is a nice easy way of knowing whether anyone has previously tried to make contact

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By *ink magnolia s yorksWoman
over a year ago

south yorkshire

Because if you hit delete when you've read it, assuming your not on a phone it takes you to the next unread message. Sometimes I don't want to do that. So, I like a lot of people do a mass delete when I feel like it. Much, much easier to tick a lot of meshes and delete that way.IIt's a bit like a pizza company posting you a leaflet, a week later do they ring you and ask why you're not ordering? Nope, they assume you don't like pizza or gone somewhere else. Why get hung up on the people that don't want to meet. Put your time and energy into the ones that do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/11/14 01:58:16]

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.

Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?

Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend."

Well your approach clearly isnt working is it? So why try and argue against good advice

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By *ickawitchCouple
over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

I don't know how everyone else does it but when I get a message I look at the persons profile before I open it. If the profile has no picture (not necessarily a face pic, it could have a torso, chest, bottom, back) I am already unlikely to answer much more than 'thanks for your message but I am not interested'.

If I read the text and it basically says 'I am not putting anything about me here but if you want to know then ask' the lack of pic and text would not make me interested.....so I would not ask.

I think if you had a basic pic, make it a funny one if you like.....the back of your head, your big thumb...anything and a little bit about you so people can get a feel of if they would want to begin interaction it might help you.

I hope it works out for you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There is a way of knowing whether you've messaged someone before!!

These little notes stay there irrespective how long ago these things took place.

It is a bit basic coz it doesn't go into any greater detail than this bit it is a nice easy way of knowing whether anyone has previously tried to make contact

Thanks for the tip! You're a star.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always delete messages from my sent mail as soon as I've sent them, I'm not going to worry about what the recipient has done to it, you'll either get a reply or you won't. Concentrate on your in box, not your sent mail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't know how everyone else does it but when I get a message I look at the persons profile before I open it. If the profile has no picture (not necessarily a face pic, it could have a torso, chest, bottom, back) I am already unlikely to answer much more than 'thanks for your message but I am not interested'.

If I read the text and it basically says 'I am not putting anything about me here but if you want to know then ask' the lack of pic and text would not make me interested.....so I would not ask.

I hope it works out for you

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

I delete many a message without reading them and woild not take offence if I were then blocked. Blocking them you can avoid sending more messages where not wanted.

As for unanswered and not deleted....

Sometimes I've done that as been distracted and then forgotten to reply or taken a few days. Another message similar to the first wouldn't bother me but if it was from someone I just didn't delete the message of I would then block them. Not to be rude but just to save time.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

[Removed by poster at 06/11/14 08:13:45]

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

If I read the text and it basically says 'I am not putting anything about me here but if you want to know then ask' the lack of pic and text would not make me interested.....so I would not ask.

I hope it works out for you

What she said

I personally would just delete without reading as there is nothing on your profile to entice me. Also because you smoke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?

Thanks again.You carry on as your doing , after all its less competition for the other guys that make an effort

this

Some of us make the effort...worth it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel welcome to fabs. Ive had 1 meet since being here. Couples and single ladies tend to have all the cards so to speak. The male to female count is horrendous on here. Just persevere you will find someone eventually. There has to be 2 way attraction at the end of the day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am sorry to say that it took me 3 seconds to view your profile!

A lot of people view a profile before opening a message. If I was to get a message from you I would delete it outright after viewing your severely lacking profile.

What you do not realise is that your profile sells you.

If you were a car being sold in a shop all you would have is maybe a picture of the dashboard and the title being "car for sale"

It's the shops that people can view the item being sold and see a decent description of the car that will bring people in to actually ask more about the car.

Sorry to describe you as a car though.

Do you really expect people to be keen to respond to you with so little effort in your profile.?

Thanks again."

The problem is with that is many people will see a message from you and click Your profile fist before looking at your message, if your profile puts them off then offer your message won't get read.

Why do you keep going on about personal stuff? Your trying to attract someone so tell them what you like and what you can offer a potential meet. Your looking for excuses not solutions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First rule of fab for a single bloke is DON'T GET PISSED OFF BY IT!!!!!! Lol

If your profile's shit and uninformative how can you expect a woman to make an informative decision. After all she's the one opening her legs up! Not you!!

Or meeting you for a coffee..........if you're going to get all "I'm not here for that"!

What's better than a well written profile?? Pictures!!!

So, do a profile pic. I'd advise against a cock pic unless you've got the banter to back it up. And a few on friends only. And just be normal!!! Fab is so fucking easy if you're normal!

My advice? Make a friend first before you fuck them. It's nicer that way.

Just saying mind you, I ain't your dad go do what you thinks best.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its by luck really, the Russian roulete will eventually land on your profile, patient is a virtue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.

Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?

Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend.

Well your approach clearly isnt working is it? So why try and argue against good advice

Exactly.

I'm not sure I can add anything which hasn't already been said. You are seeking feedback as you are disillusioned as to your success rate but then you are firmly against a detailed profile giving out information.

Whilst I acknowledge the need for privacy, I am not sure people will recognize me through my profile or what I write in the same. It is not as if someone can say 'that guy is into rimming, that must be Dave Coaches'

If I was a female on here and I had the option of a guy who tells me about himself or one who expects me to message to find out more, to then possibly found out we don't click, then I know who I would choose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt."

Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Burnley

"The thing is a photo isn't enough, like has already been said, even if they did read your message and like the photo, they will look at your profile and pass you by, as its not appealing.

Thanks for the reply, cant understand why if you like the PM and photo why the profile is important, why not just ask in a PM?

Thanks for the advice though its appreciated, ill see what i can do with my profile over the weekend."

Women out number men 100-1 on this site, so its been said. It they view your profile and then one thats obviously has some thought put into it they arent going to go to all the effort of trying to get you to open up about yourself when its far easier to read the other profile and reply to them. Put no offort in, get nothing out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt."

The first paragraph of your profile goes into detail about how attractive you are to gay men who want to suck your cock. Frankly, that isn't going to get most women reaching for the 'message' button. And why not filter messages from men out if you are such a 'gay honeypot'.

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Burnley

"...And just be normal!!! Fab is so fucking easy if you're normal!

My advice? Make a friend first before you fuck them. It's nicer that way..."

So true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/11/14 16:33:03]

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By *emma 1TV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow

I would suggest a photo on your profile might help,but there are a lot of time wasters on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.

More like a chocolate pot.

and making a friend before you fuck thenlm is an excellent idea. However, if you dont get an inital response it's very difficult to build a friendship.....there is always an imaginary girlfriend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you have a car to sell and advertise it on a website. You say ask for details and have no pics of it, how much interest do you think it would get?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

m.youtube.com/watch?v=TNuUx9tZYqc

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt."

People make judgements....

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

not this shite again

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt."

Your profile is AWFUL, one of the worst ive saw

Take a little time to read your profile???? What a sense of entitlement you have of yourself, dont tell people what to do with their time, but by "forcing" people to read, its probably a bad thing as your profile is that terrible and off putting i cant see any female on this site ever replying to you

Lose the self entitlement!!!!

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

As in life, you only get out what you put in xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.

Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan"

Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.

Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan

Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then?"

For me, it wouldn't be as bad, maybe a smidging of my soul may remain intact.

With regards to a sense of entitlement, I dont think there is a sense of entitlement in my profile, I ask rather than command. A majority of ladies and couples profiles ask the reader to "read the entire profile" I assume its so they dont get people wasting their time. Asking the person who voluntarily clicked on my profile to read it I dont think is out of order.

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.

Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan

Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then?

For me, it wouldn't be as bad, maybe a smidging of my soul may remain intact.

Ladies usually ask from the ones who msg them showing an interest

You are saying it to the people who you message who dont reply, again you interested and not them so why should they

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"In a similar boat as the op......they say god loves a trier, but everyone else seems to think I'm a cunt.

Two thirds of your profile is a moan. Yes a well written moan, but nonetheless a moan

Yes, a little off putting. You put be courteous and reply as its sole destroying. Would an inbox full of no thanks messages not be then?

For me, it wouldn't be as bad, maybe a smidging of my soul may remain intact.

When i was meeting: i wanted anyone who messaged me to have read my profile so they know what im looking for

You however are expecting the people whom you message, read your profile and reply to your interest not theirs, can you not see the difference in that seriously??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not expecting people to meet me, or feign an interest that isnt there. Just a "thanks but no thanks"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile screams 'married cheat' to me and the attitude at the bottom is crap and id not reply to you either

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Im not expecting people to meet me, or feign an interest that isnt there. Just a "thanks but no thanks""

Lower your expectations then coz its not gona happen

But u are insisting people u msg all read your profile, maybe you should take that bit out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Profile is changed. And how does a profile scream married cheat? I even took my wedding ring off when I wrote it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you are missing a but in the sentence mentioning your ability to accom and so forth.

I also think you should drop the 'please put xxxx to show you have read this'.

Whilst I understand the intention behind it, it is primarily used by couples and females who get bombarded with emails. They therefore are in advantage in that they can be choosy with who they reply to.

Using it as a single guy just will not work. For a start you will not get bombarded with messages so it is not needed. Additionally it does give off the impression of heightened self worth. Whilst I would never suggest people lower their standards, as a single guy on this site you have to accept that you will always be doing the chasing and that not everything will be on your terms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Additionally, I would be very surprised if you receive many messages where the convo is initiated by a single fem or couple. Whilst it happens, it does not happen often. If you want to succeed, you will have to do the majority of the running (messaging)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm doing so much chasing without catching, I feel like Mick The Miller.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the replies all (or most of you anyway), cannot say that many of the profiles that i have viewed tell me much more than mine does, my interests are already on the profile under "interests" sorry if that has confused anyone

. I'm really after meeting up with with single female members and i guess thats going to be an uphill battle, i will look at working on a better profile in the next few days. Thanks for the advice, but at the moment this site is far harder work than meeting randoms in pubs.

Take care all and thanks again.

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By *rsIdiotWoman
over a year ago

Bedworth

" i will look at working on a better profile in the next few days. Thanks for the advice, but at the moment this site is far harder work than meeting randoms in pubs.

The sooner the better really.

The reason for it being easier to pick up randoms in pubs is that they can see you, see your body language and get a feel for your personality. On fab all we have is a few words on a profile and maybe a pic or two. Your profile has to sell your personality, in the same way as cheeky banter in a pub does.

After all, if us ladies wanted something with no personally to give us a quick organisation we'd stick with just our vibrators

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually, I don't mind your profile at all. Although it is short compared to some, I find it straight to the point without being sleazy and without any TEXT SPEAK! Probably what is going against you as some have previously stated, is that you've only been on here for a short time and without any friends or veris. Trying to tailor make a profile that fits all is impossible anyway!

Although we appreciate a profile with a lot of effort put ini, we've been pleasently surprisd by a profile with only several lines without lots of nude pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Actually, I don't mind your profile at all. Although it is short compared to some, I find it straight to the point without being sleazy and without any TEXT SPEAK! Probably what is going against you as some have previously stated, is that you've only been on here for a short time and without any friends or veris. Trying to tailor make a profile that fits all is impossible anyway!

Although we appreciate a profile with a lot of effort put ini, we've been pleasently surprisd by a profile with only several lines without lots of nude pics.

Just pointing out that is the new updated profile

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By *haring is caringCouple
over a year ago

Devon

Maybe a picture of a Lynx can might help?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.

Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."

swinging should be fun if its not it aint the site for u

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"swinging should be fun if its not it aint the site for u"

I'm new to the scene so at the moment i've not had much (any

) fun, but nothing to put me off so far. I enjoy nights out and meeting girls but as im getting abit older i want to meet up with people around my age who want roughly the same kind of thing, good company and NSA. This seems the best kind of place for that. My personal situation is a little complex and that has put of the two members who have messaged me, but thats no problem, i'm sure there are others in the same boat.

Thanks for the reply, its appreciated.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

You need photos; go to a social and get veris and make connections with real people, read the threads about profile advice with a view to putting some likes/dislikes in and what you can offer someone looking at your profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you message someone and they don't reply and you message again I think a warning comes up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you message someone and they don't reply and you message again I think a warning comes up."

It does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does. Me been a serial stalker I know these things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Munches...it's the answer.

Words on here are fine, so are pictures. However it's my opinion that most pictures and words defining a person are slightly inaccurate when you meet in real time.

To take away this issue is to attend a munch..a meeting place for coffee cake and chat..for instance. Set one up in a city near you..a very large pub..loads of people. Have a table with an object on it? It could be anything, 50 shades, a bunny with a collar on, As a group you are invisible in a crowd.

People attending the munch see the item and know that's the right crowd. People attending can wear an identifier, you don't wear fetish, just smart casual with a hint. No real names personal details given out in the munch. Just as much info as you feel comfortable with, such as your fab nick name etc

All vanilla people see is a group of people chatting.

You in turn see and speak with people that interest you...swop cell/moby numbers etc..

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By *onnie and JohnCouple
over a year ago

WILTSHIRE

"If they haven't replied they aren't interested "

maybe ..we had a reply four months after a message we sent. and it turned into a very hot weekend, so don't worry to much about your sent item, put more effort into your read messages..good luck ,because that's sometimes all it is..connie xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening all, i hope this post doesn't come across too whiny, it really isn't meant to be, just after a little advice.

Anyway any advice those on the forum can give would be aprecciated."
you have only been on 4 weeks. completely new and you don't accommodate and personally for me you smoke.

they could be many reasons why you just get deleted

we get tons of mail a day and sometimes in all honesty it just easier to delete rather than read,,, don't give up,, try going to a club, get to know people there

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By *enandlisaCouple
over a year ago

Burnley'ish

lol'ing at your "interests" one of which is "seperate room swaping" when you are only looking to meet single females.

For the life in me i cannot envisage how this could work......

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By *istressdebssubCouple
over a year ago

cambridge

we get a lot of messages . sometimes i keep one that is unsuitable but does not deserve to be blocked . just to remind me if they message again

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"lol'ing at your "interests" one of which is "seperate room swaping" when you are only looking to meet single females.

For the life in me i cannot envisage how this could work......

Inter-room door way sex

it really is the way to go....

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