FabSwingers.com forum: THAT first message

By *attitude6 OP Man
over a year ago

Ilkeston

Howdy Folks

I am curious as to... you click a profile, you read/look at the pictures if there are any and you decide to write the person a message....

WHAT doooooo you write, and what kind of FIRST messages do people like to receive????

Muchos Gracias!

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

one where I am referred to by name and also something to show me that you have read my profile. No good mailing if you havent read my profile as I have a keyword in my profile so if you havent read it I can tell.

No point saying I know you dont meet men under 30 but am 21 would you consider meeting?

Really what I am saying is that if you have read the profile and you fall into their catagories ie non smoker between ages..... then something witty and thoughtful. Not rude, like love ya tits wanna fuck!!

Something to show your making the effort and you dont expect to get a reply as it is everyones choice to not reply.

Just make the effort and be truthful but read a profile and if it says first mail must have a face pic then send one.

Good luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"one where I am referred to by name and also something to show me that you have read my profile. No good mailing if you havent read my profile as I have a keyword in my profile so if you havent read it I can tell.

No point saying I know you dont meet men under 30 but am 21 would you consider meeting?

Something to show your making the effort and you dont expect to get a reply as it is everyones choice to not reply.

Just make the effort and be truthful but read a profile and if it says first mail must have a face pic then send one.

Good luck xxx"

i think you have summed it all up there hun

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Make them laugh - a cock pic will often do the trick...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No point saying I know you dont meet men under 30 but am 21 would you consider meeting?

Something to show your making the effort and you dont expect to get a reply as it is everyones choice to not reply.

Just make the effort and be truthful but read a profile and if it says first mail must have a face pic then send one.

Good luck xxx

i think you have summed it all up there hun "

*Nods in agreement*

Well said!

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By *woBiTwoCouple
over a year ago

north manchester

We like to tell the recipient a bit about ourselves, and look for common ground in their profile. We respect all their preferences and don't mail people who we don't appear to match to. Witty banter can wait until after they reply, because unless you are gifted with exceptional wit and charm, what strikes you as amusing or clever may indicate to them that actually you're a bit of a knob!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something that shows a bit of intelligence, effort and ability to have read our profile.

Three things sadly lacking around here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the above is brilliant advice but for more of 'what not to say' in a first message have a look at the post about 'chat up lines' in swingers chat. It'll give you a good laugh to!

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By *awnpaulCouple
over a year ago

Hounslow

No point saying I know you dont meet men under 30 but am 21 would you consider meeting?

Something to show your making the effort and you dont expect to get a reply as it is everyones choice to not reply.

Just make the effort and be truthful but read a profile and if it says first mail must have a face pic then send one.

Good luck xxx

i think you have summed it all up there hun

*Nods in agreement*

Well said!

That saved me having to type all that! Completely agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something that shows a bit of intelligence, effort and ability to have read our profile.

Three things sadly lacking around here."
....indeed what you said... ^ ppl need to READ profile before sending others a message, shows they are interested well most of the time.

* sits on coffin *

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By *onyneMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

reading the profile is a must. it seems odd that we should have to remind people ...

after that it is best i think to just type a shortbutnottooshort letter with some information about yourself and why you thought it was a good idea to get in touch.

i never put in anything rude, as there is no need, unless people specifically ask for stuff [again, that's about reading the profile...]

years ago, when all you could do was answer ads from paper, i got a call from a policeman who told me my reply had gone to a local vicar...practical joke by someone. i was very pleased that my pic was face and letter very understated. there was no trouble as the police just wanted to know what was going on... we laughed when he said mine was his only reply!

the ad did not say it was for a man or a vicar, by the way...

taught me a lesson about what you should include...or more pertinently, what to leave out!

tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Witty banter can wait until after they reply, because unless you are gifted with exceptional wit and charm, what strikes you as amusing or clever may indicate to them that actually you're a bit of a knob!

That's a really good point, and a dilemma I have experienced. I guess if you can make someone laugh that's half the battle won. But senses of humour can very so much.

Personally I'm tempted to steer away from the funnies, but some people's profiles seem to suggest they want to meet a comedian...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

If they're going to think I'm a knob, best get it out of the way in the first message, saves on creative juices...

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By *ruitWoman
over a year ago

near kings lynn

I had a couple send me a basic mail saying they like my profile and if we interest you let us know..... I mailed back saying thanks but no as they didnt bother to read my profile.

They mailed back to say as newbies thats the way they thought it was done(the bog standard message they sent)

I mailed back saying ok seeing that your new this is what I feel is best to always do, then explained about reading a profile... all the things I said above, and put in it(as it was sounding narky)that I wasnt writing it in anger but to simply explain for them to reajust the way they mail people for better effect.

The reply I got was not great but sarky.

I shrugged it off as tried to explain nicely but I expect anyone that points out where a person had gone badly wrong in their opinion is often gonna take it bad.

Dont think they wanna meet me now lol

Generally tho for me the main one is people not reading my profile, and that annoys me so always point out that they havent read it so maybe they will learn, then again maybe not.

Makes no difference to me ultimately as there are lovely couples and single who do read the profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can SEND ?? Wow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would anyone be kind enough to offer me some feedback on a typical 'first email' I would send?

Would be very grateful...

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Would anyone be kind enough to offer me some feedback on a typical 'first email' I would send?

Would be very grateful...

er....do you realise how that looks like you've put together a template to be "cut & pasted" into messages?

If you're looking for an "ideal" message, then you're seeing everybody on here as interchangeable - they're all different, and they will all respond differently to the same content. So..

--------------------------------------

There is no substitute for replying to someone's profile information.

-------------------------------------

(btw, nice tits...)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice Sharp, but that's not really what I meant.

I was wondering if there was something in my writing style that was putting people off.

I've wouldn't cut and paste messages - there is too much competition on here to waste time doing that.

Thanks for the tits comment - you like fat men? Lol...

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By *taffsTrueGentMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Hi when i send messages i do say that i have read their profile and say where and try to use an ice breaker and say i hope to hear back from them and see what happens

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"Thanks for the tits comment - you like fat men? Lol..."

I have to...I am one!

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By *arlot ScarlettWoman
over a year ago

Bolton

I don't think it really matters what the mesage is - needs to be more than a daft one liner but doesn't need to be a novel either! I look at the pic if attached and scan the profile and either delete if not interested or reply if I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's good to pick up on something little in the profile and use that as a good jumping off point.

of course, if it's a shite profile, well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for the advice guys - really helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Classic way not to get my interest

Waaassssupp babe hows u doin

Wanna meet for me to fuck witchu

lol

And they he asks why I said no lol

Answers on a postcard please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

/adopts best fighting video game voice...

NECRO-THREEEEAAAAD!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"/adopts best fighting video game voice...

NECRO-THREEEEAAAAD!"

And who appointed you the comment police? Am allowed to comment on anything I wish be it 2 weeks old or 2 years old. I am not needed to ask or did I seek your permission.

Have a pleasant evening

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