FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on opening messages?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right, ive had a couple of meets and verified on here. One including a lovely girl who introduced me to this place. Question is; because this site is orientated around sexual meets and socials, and not a "dating" site, not sure how to approach starting a conversation? Sexual/friendly? Obviously just hi isn't a starter lol

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

I prefer friendly. I find a first message that is sexual presumptuous and rude to be honest. But others will have a different view of course, we are not all the same, and you will never please everybody with the same approach. Try reading the profile for clues on the person you are messaging and try to tailor each message to the profile. You can't do more than that. Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah kind of how I assumed it to be honest. Still, got my rookie hat on so what better way to gauge the social norm on here than ask I guess. Cheers for the input

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is hard - excuse the pun . If you met someone off here the first thing you would say is " Hi how are you ? " But if a girl / couple on here was getting up to 100 messages a day saying the same thing ( even though we are just being friendly ) you can see how these would be deleted without even being opened sometimes ... I find funny works 9/10 . The other ones just want filth lol Good luck mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above. Must say your pictures are very good, you smile woohoo

alot woman and couples see the first few words of a message and look at profiles before deciding to open, answer or delete(deleting is not rude its a way of saying not interested)

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah funny...my cheesy joke sense of humour caters to a selective audience though haha. Or can read like a copy paste message I guess. Ain't too fussed to be meeting loads of ladies on here like. But I paid for a membership I want to get use out of my messages don't I

lol. General vibe on here is pretty chilled. Its like social media for grown ups, cock pic serial killers not included obviously lol.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As above. Must say your pictures are very good, you smile woohoo

alot woman and couples see the first few words of a message and look at profiles before deciding to open, answer or delete(deleting is not rude its a way of saying not interested)

Good luck "

Oh yeah I don't offend that easily, each to their own obviously. Hardly messaged anyone to be honest cos its a different ball game. Rarely been on aswell I suppose. But thanks for the compliment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is a good one..

Hey, fancy a doggin' meet tonight

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Here is a good one..

Hey, fancy a doggin' meet tonight

Doesn't suit me to be fair, prefer a more suave approach. but if it works for u props to u mate.

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By *nDeexXxCouple
over a year ago

Rossendale

Make sure your message has some body not just a one liner. Asking questions can help in your quest for a reply

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By *nDeexXxCouple
over a year ago

Rossendale

An example is one We just got off a guy

"Guess you will be looking for couples"

Tells us he didn't even bother to read profile, so no We won't be sending a reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How could I possibly resist '3sum now!' I know! I know! But I managed lol

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By *nDeexXxCouple
over a year ago

Rossendale

Hi wud the woman meet?

Is a good example of how not to write a message, yep that is a 1st message in full from someone!

Personalise it and make the receiver want to respond.....An of AnDee

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

one liners are a sure fire no winner.

you need something a bit different, bit of humour is first.

next thing is to use a "tie" something that links you with something in their profile, it shows you have read their profile and also says you have something in common.

then the "hook" if there is anything in their profile that they are looking for then explain how you can provide that.

Of course if neither of the above is true then dont bother because it would just be a load of bollocks and they will suss you out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"one liners are a sure fire no winner.

you need something a bit different, bit of humour is first.

next thing is to use a "tie" something that links you with something in their profile, it shows you have read their profile and also says you have something in common.

then the "hook" if there is anything in their profile that they are looking for then explain how you can provide that.

Of course if neither of the above is true then dont bother because it would just be a load of bollocks and they will suss you out

See now that's going all psychoanalytical on things lol. Then ur just blagging to make them hear what they want to hear I suppose. Then id get sussed out for being a turd lol. I'm a borderline sex addict not sex pest lol. But u are on to something a bit there I think

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

No i had the getout clause in the last statement

You have to have something that you both like

you have to sell yourself to them

simples

when my profile is "up" as normal then its mainly im after someone who can dom, properly. so if someone says "want a fuck" then whats my incentive to say "oooooh yes please".

If they explain they are experienced and can offer certain scenarios then im hooked.

buying and selling

you have to want what they are selling and be able to offer the correct currency.

I wasnt giving you a bypass, just saying how it worked

No blagging required, you only reply to the profiles you think you can fit. Though I suspect 90% of the messages i receive they havent figured that

hmmmm, maybe 95%......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No i had the getout clause in the last statement

You have to have something that you both like

you have to sell yourself to them

simples

when my profile is "up" as normal then its mainly im after someone who can dom, properly. so if someone says "want a fuck" then whats my incentive to say "oooooh yes please".

If they explain they are experienced and can offer certain scenarios then im hooked.

buying and selling

you have to want what they are selling and be able to offer the correct currency.

I wasnt giving you a bypass, just saying how it worked

No blagging required, you only reply to the profiles you think you can fit. Though I suspect 90% of the messages i receive they havent figured that

hmmmm, maybe 95%......

See, conflict of advice from different types of people. Think ill stick with the old, "if I get chattin to someone then whatever" attitude. I can get sex elsewhere other than fab obviously, just seems the women on here are more confident and open so I'm intrigued. Its a different kind of chase in a sense. Probably because its about sex and people trying to keep their private lives separate. As opposed to meeting someone normally and knowing them for the private side. It's all a learning curve lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No-one likes a naff opening message and I don't want to sound shallow but you are a really good looking guy with clear photos which makes you stand yo more than most messages would ever do.

One thing I would take off is the 'ain't homophobic' status - sure you're not but Fab/Swinging is a diverse community just either block single guys or be flattered otherwise it looks a bit like you may have an issue or don't get the community.

All the best,

Anna x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No-one likes a naff opening message and I don't want to sound shallow but you are a really good looking guy with clear photos which makes you stand yo more than most messages would ever do.

All the best,

Anna x"

Fair point about the status and noted. But as tenacious as guys might be messaging u, gay men can be just as bad, theyre men remember lol. Don't get me wrong I don't think I'm the best chocolate in the box, its flattering, but only for so long. And if the conversation was normal id have a friendly conversation, but, as uv probably guessed, it isn't lol. Figured out the privacy settings though.

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