FabSwingers.com forum: First timer advice on swinging.

By *itch black doggers OP Couple
over a year ago

Hook

Me and my girlfriend are wondering how to get past the first hurdle, we've been together 11 years and we both like the idea of involving someone else and have been talking about it for a few years now, I'm starting to think diving in head first is the only answer.we also wonder how we would feel afterwards, I don't want to end up regreting anything or attracting the stalking type as any activity would most probably take place at our home address.

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No don't dive in head first if you value your relationship. Chat about it. Boundaries/expectations/what if you don't like it. Then chat some more and more. Then take small steps. Communication is key. If not we can expect those single profiles to appear pretty sharpish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tho how you can be new to this after a year does puzzle me!

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By *itch black doggers OP Couple
over a year ago

Hook

Hi Thanks for the reply that sounds good advice.I'm not very confident which doesn't help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep chatting with each other we did and still do , try a club you don't have to do anything unless it feels right and you both agree . Step by step at your pace swinging is not for everyone . At the moment it's a fantasy we all have them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me and my girlfriend are wondering how to get past the first hurdle, we've been together 11 years and we both like the idea of involving someone else and have been talking about it for a few years now, I'm starting to think diving in head first is the only answer.we also wonder how we would feel afterwards, I don't want to end up regreting anything or attracting the stalking type as any activity would most probably take place at our home address.

Thanks"

With the amount if time you have been on here , I would guess you have talked and talked about it until there's no more to talk about !

So I would agree with you , stop the talking and dive in . What's the worst thing that could happen ? If you have been together 11 years and on here over a year talking about it , it's time to get on with fulfilling some of your fantasies .

You can over think and lose the desire with anything and I am surprised this hasn't happened already in your case .

Enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our advice would be go to a club, there is no pressure to do anything but at least you will get a feel for the lifestyle, most swingers are very understanding to newbees and will do thier best to help you feel at ease. Research the club first and check its feedback.

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By *irstTime4everythingCouple
over a year ago

Reading

[Removed by poster at 04/09/14 15:50:13]

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By *irstTime4everythingCouple
over a year ago

Reading

"Our advice would be go to a club, there is no pressure to do anything but at least you will get a feel for the lifestyle, most swingers are very understanding to newbees and will do thier best to help you feel at ease. Research the club first and check its feedback. "

I'd agree it's scary and yes the possibility of regret is always there of course but you have talked and both want it so go for it! Respect each other's boundaries and have fun and don't be pressured to do anything you don't want to but until you go for it there will always be doubt. If you try and it doesn't feel right then learn and move on. A club could be the answer as your not obligated. Good luck!

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

Go to clubs they're great fun, you don't have to partake, we have never after going to them for over a year.

Had our 1st swing experience last sat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to clubs they're great fun, you don't have to partake, we have never after going to them for over a year.

Had our 1st swing experience last sat."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a club, or house party, that is what we did.

No one under pressure to do anything, you will meet lots of people and treat it as a night out.

And you will both always have one another, and look after one another.

Her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's so scary isn't it when you first start out! And taking that first step is even more scarier! Don't worry how long it takes you to start playing just go at your own pace!

Why not pop to your local club, you can soak up the atmosphere and chat to other like minded people, even watch some playing going on! That might give you an idea whether swinging is for you or not!

Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality, so my advice would be just be sure it's what you want!

Good luck

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By *itch black doggers OP Couple
over a year ago

Hook

Thank you all For the advice .much appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take it slowly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have been together 11 years and your girlfriend is 25?

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By *hapeShiftersCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

You seem to have been on here a while so perhaps it is time to pluck up courage and dive in!

If you're not confident, maybe try and find another couple with experience who would be comfortable taking the lead.

Look for people around your age who you are likely to get on with socially. Get to know them a bit through messaging etc and explain your situation. Anyone worth meeting will be very understanding.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have been together 11 years and your girlfriend is 25?"

Exactly... A 20 year old dating a 14 year old?!

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By *SweetVioletxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I'd do some work on your profile, add some pics of the male half and have a think about your user name first. Otherwise once you have both have decided to go for it you'll be back on the forums asking why you're not having any success. X

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

Take it easy - Rose was fine about soft-swinging from the start but it took a few club visits before she felt ready to go all the way with another man. Her main worry was what I would think, watching.

After the event, she felt great and things really took off from then onwards.

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