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People's views on playing with married (singles) that have permission?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all, hope your all well.

I've read many posts regarding people's choice on playing with married people who's partners do not know (cheating).

I'm interested to see if anyone's views differ to someone who's married but has full permission from their partner.

I'm curious because in cuckolding / hotwife lifestyles, ladies are encouraged by their husbands to seek out men for both their enjoyment, whether the husband is present or not. This is viewed as ok by most I would say.

However, being here before (about a year ago) and back again now, I've experienced couples looking for men but say no to married men.

I accept that "some" married men may say their partner knows and is lying. But that can be said of a "single" man who is married but lying.

So I'm asking, couples or ladies looking for a man. Is it acceptable or would you change your opinion if he has permission?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right then married and have full permission. Me and my wife have been swinging for awhile as we are swingers! Yet I have been put into the category of bad man because I'm married. Many single women will pass me by and some will also comment and say sorry I don't play with married men! Excuses are to much baggage and cheating. This is not the case we have consent we wish each other well before meets and talk about them after we don't need to cheat we just ask each other tell each other we have a meet on. Many of the single people we meet have met each others partners for drinks and socials and play now I'm lucky enough to have friends that know this so I don't miss out but sometimes it realy gets my goat. Each to there own I suppose and personal preference but as i did the married man search in the forum first one I looked at, secound post was the word cheating and that's a bit unfair on the genuine married swinger. Our experience is that the married true swinger is the most reliable with no baggage or complications so please ease up on us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With permission is fine to me.

Tbh though there are plenty of definitely single guys in here so I would choose them over the hassle of trying to figure out if a guy is married or in a relationship and has permission or not.

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By *lttattoocoupleCouple
over a year ago

Worcester

If we spoke to the female then maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If we spoke to the female then maybe

"

We would always want to chat with the one giving permission, oddly enough though when that question gets asked you do get a standard reply "I have their permission but they don't want to know what I get up to".

We won't play with people in that situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/10/14 10:42:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We swing separately and are both very comfortable with it. We are very open and honest with each other and both state on our profiles that the OH would be willing to confirm this.

Hubby does tend to have more problems with ladies meeting him because he's married than I do though. No-ne has ever asked to speak to the OH though

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

I used to play with married men and women who had permission to play alone.

Then I met a man, met his wife in McDonald's to have a chat. She confirmed she was happy for him to seek it elsewhere. A month or so down the line, we've met a few times, we text each other whilst we are going about our daily lives.

Then I get a text from the wife asking to meet. Turns out she's happy for him to get sex elsewhere, but the texting and the chatting is a huge problem for her. She'd tried talking to him, he'd told her not to be so stupid.

I walked away. Sometimes it isn't the sex elsewhere that is an issue. People forget that.

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By *hell and jCouple
over a year ago

doncaster

We both swing apart but also meet married men x who am I to judge weather married or not x there life there choice xxx

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By *hell and jCouple
over a year ago

doncaster

We both swing apart but also meet married men x who am I to judge weather married or not x there life there choice xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this post interesting, I am married, & very much happy & in love, we swing together & also alone. I find from a female point that no guys are bothered wether the lady is married or not. In fact a lot of them find it a turn on. But my hubby sadly struggles to get meets because he is always upfront about being married with consent to play alone. (even though he is bloody fit & great in the sack!) I think a lot of people on here are disillusioned as to what 'swinging' actually is, & just assume that there will be 'baggage' & 'hassle' from meeting one half of a couple,

As long as all parties involved have spoke & confirmed & happy then I don't see how it's any different from any other form of meet. Mfmf fmf mfm. - they can all easily come with baggage & hassle of their own. Partners getting jealous watching their partner having what they see as too much fun etc etc.

I think a lot of it is definitely down to the other people's lack of understanding, some couples enjoy meeting solo. We do, & it doesn't mean that it's going to be any different from meeting a single person. & it definitely doesn't cause any problems, quite the opposite in fact. - the sex we have together after a solo meet is bloody mind blowing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have permission. My husband tends to go over the rules we have with a guy before I meet him.

So all parties are happy and boundaries aren't crossed.

I don't think it's about married or not. It's about respect for everyone's happiness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We both swing apart but also meet married men x who am I to judge weather married or not x there life there choice xxx "

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Fine by me.

As with any dynamic involving others it can cause problems but I'm open-minded on it.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

My hubby bunkerd plays on his own and i play on my own .Full knowledge of what's happening and it works well for us . No hassles with child care and no explanation to in laws why we are going out ect lol. We are happy to meet cpls together but found the logistics a night mare at times . So when opportunity to meet singles on our own came up just made logical sense .

So there are plenty who are happy to meet married folks playing with each others knowledge . If that's due to both of us being here I don't know . Maybe It would be different if only one was on here as could shed a little doubt on how much the other partner actual knows .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have permission. My husband tends to go over the rules we have with a guy before I meet him.

So all parties are happy and boundaries aren't crossed.

I don't think it's about married or not. It's about respect for everyone's happiness."

Same here, & my hubby always looks at any potential meets profile, pics . Veri's etc. he always knows where i'll be. I text a couple of times during the meet. Just to let him know I am safe & comfortable with the person. We don't see it as a taboo. After all this site is about sexual liberation & having fun. Why shouldn't married people be allowed to enjoy it? We are after all. 'Swingers' - single people who only meet single people technically aren't swingers but they seem to get up on their high horses about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and my oh had great fun in our early swinging days x I'm here alone now x he's fully aware but I class myself as a singleton x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this post interesting, I am married, & very much happy & in love, we swing together & also alone. I find from a female point that no guys are bothered wether the lady is married or not. In fact a lot of them find it a turn on. But my hubby sadly struggles to get meets because he is always upfront about being married with consent to play alone. (even though he is bloody fit & great in the sack!) I think a lot of people on here are disillusioned as to what 'swinging' actually is, & just assume that there will be 'baggage' & 'hassle' from meeting one half of a couple,

As long as all parties involved have spoke & confirmed & happy then I don't see how it's any different from any other form of meet. Mfmf fmf mfm. - they can all easily come with baggage & hassle of their own. Partners getting jealous watching their partner having what they see as too much fun etc etc.

I think a lot of it is definitely down to the other people's lack of understanding, some couples enjoy meeting solo. We do, & it doesn't mean that it's going to be any different from meeting a single person. & it definitely doesn't cause any problems, quite the opposite in fact. - the sex we have together after a solo meet is bloody mind blowing "

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We usually meet in clubs, and frankly we never ask if a guy is married or not. It's none of our business.

Probably a fair percentage of guys in there are married, particularly those who are there in the daytime, but who cares? This isn't a dating scenario, we are not looking for relationships, just some fun. What people do in their own lives is up to them. It's their choice!

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I find this post interesting, I am married, & very much happy & in love, we swing together & also alone. I find from a female point that no guys are bothered wether the lady is married or not. In fact a lot of them find it a turn on. But my hubby sadly struggles to get meets because he is always upfront about being married with consent to play alone. (even though he is bloody fit & great in the sack!) I think a lot of people on here are disillusioned as to what 'swinging' actually is, & just assume that there will be 'baggage' & 'hassle' from meeting one half of a couple,

As long as all parties involved have spoke & confirmed & happy then I don't see how it's any different from any other form of meet. Mfmf fmf mfm. - they can all easily come with baggage & hassle of their own. Partners getting jealous watching their partner having what they see as too much fun etc etc.

I think a lot of it is definitely down to the other people's lack of understanding, some couples enjoy meeting solo. We do, & it doesn't mean that it's going to be any different from meeting a single person. & it definitely doesn't cause any problems, quite the opposite in fact. - the sex we have together after a solo meet is bloody mind blowing "

I'd say that's a pretty good take on it.

For me though, it's not about lack of understanding, it's about once bitten, twice shy. A bad experience is tough to put behind you and whilst one shouldn't compare or tar everyone with the same brush, it's not always that simple. There are so many singles out there, for me it's easier to do that than risk the drama.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this post interesting, I am married, & very much happy & in love, we swing together & also alone. I find from a female point that no guys are bothered wether the lady is married or not. In fact a lot of them find it a turn on. But my hubby sadly struggles to get meets because he is always upfront about being married with consent to play alone. (even though he is bloody fit & great in the sack!) I think a lot of people on here are disillusioned as to what 'swinging' actually is, & just assume that there will be 'baggage' & 'hassle' from meeting one half of a couple,

As long as all parties involved have spoke & confirmed & happy then I don't see how it's any different from any other form of meet. Mfmf fmf mfm. - they can all easily come with baggage & hassle of their own. Partners getting jealous watching their partner having what they see as too much fun etc etc.

I think a lot of it is definitely down to the other people's lack of understanding, some couples enjoy meeting solo. We do, & it doesn't mean that it's going to be any different from meeting a single person. & it definitely doesn't cause any problems, quite the opposite in fact. - the sex we have together after a solo meet is bloody mind blowing

I'd say that's a pretty good take on it.

For me though, it's not about lack of understanding, it's about once bitten, twice shy. A bad experience is tough to put behind you and whilst one shouldn't compare or tar everyone with the same brush, it's not always that simple. There are so many singles out there, for me it's easier to do that than risk the drama. "

But how many single guys have you met that turn out to be married or in a relationship? And decided to meet them anyway? Or decide it's not for you and back out of the meet. By this time over the weeks you've been talking and getting to know them you've over looked many married legit guys just because of one event or the stigma or the say so of a forum poster?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The couples dynamic is what we're looking for so it wouldn't matter how much permission they had even if they ticked our other boxes...it's just not worth the added complications...and makes us wonder why their partner doesn't want to play with them...If they don't, why would we want to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, hope your all well.

I've read many posts regarding people's choice on playing with married people who's partners do not know (cheating).

I'm interested to see if anyone's views differ to someone who's married but has full permission from their partner.

I'm curious because in cuckolding / hotwife lifestyles, ladies are encouraged by their husbands to seek out men for both their enjoyment, whether the husband is present or not. This is viewed as ok by most I would say.

However, being here before (about a year ago) and back again now, I've experienced couples looking for men but say no to married men.

I accept that "some" married men may say their partner knows and is lying. But that can be said of a "single" man who is married but lying.

So I'm asking, couples or ladies looking for a man. Is it acceptable or would you change your opinion if he has permission?

"

Absolutely never no room for cheating or dishonesty in swinging ! With regard to permission how the hell can that ever be confirmed

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"

But how many single guys have you met that turn out to be married or in a relationship? And decided to meet them anyway? Or decide it's not for you and back out of the meet. By this time over the weeks you've been talking and getting to know them you've over looked many married legit guys just because of one event or the stigma or the say so of a forum poster? "

Personally I don't meet very many people so that's not really a concern for me.

I've only once turned up to a spontaneous meet to find the guy was married. I finished my drink then left.

I don't object to married men as such, I object to dishonesty. I'd rather people were up front so that I can make an informed choice.

Couples can be complicated. I like a simple life without drama.

I certainly don't take advice from fellow forum posters about who I should/shouldn't meet so I'm not sure what you meant by that. I don't read verifications either, I have a mind of my own and my instincts are usually pretty good so I rely on myself rather than others.

I waste no-one's time here but my own. Hope that answers all your questions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The couples dynamic is what we're looking for so it wouldn't matter how much permission they had even if they ticked our other boxes...it's just not worth the added complications...and makes us wonder why their partner doesn't want to play with them...If they don't, why would we want to?"

That's fine and when we first started the group sex was great the couple fun tended to be a bit harder to arrange and the meets weren't the best infact every bad experience we had was from a couples. So we started playing separately and haven't looked back and stil have the odd mmf or 4sum with people we already know. As for wondering why there oh wouldn't play with them is easily answered, because we have the choice. We wonder why other couples don't is it because there not as open as us?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The couples dynamic is what we're looking for so it wouldn't matter how much permission they had even if they ticked our other boxes...it's just not worth the added complications...and makes us wonder why their partner doesn't want to play with them...If they don't, why would we want to?

That's fine and when we first started the group sex was great the couple fun tended to be a bit harder to arrange and the meets weren't the best infact every bad experience we had was from a couples. So we started playing separately and haven't looked back and stil have the odd mmf or 4sum with people we already know. As for wondering why there oh wouldn't play with them is easily answered, because we have the choice. We wonder why other couples don't is it because there not as open as us? "

I can't speak for them but we don't because we enjoy it together more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The couples dynamic is what we're looking for so it wouldn't matter how much permission they had even if they ticked our other boxes...it's just not worth the added complications...and makes us wonder why their partner doesn't want to play with them...If they don't, why would we want to?

That's fine and when we first started the group sex was great the couple fun tended to be a bit harder to arrange and the meets weren't the best infact every bad experience we had was from a couples. So we started playing separately and haven't looked back and stil have the odd mmf or 4sum with people we already know. As for wondering why there oh wouldn't play with them is easily answered, because we have the choice. We wonder why other couples don't is it because there not as open as us?

I can't speak for them but we don't because we enjoy it together more. "

The perfect answer

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland

If we can meet socially with the other half to confirm that said permission/agreement is there then we have no problem, but we are not here to help people cheat and wont knowingly do it, that is not swinging, if people want to cheat thats upto them but they shouldnt unwittingly use swingers to do that, everyone involved should no what they are getting into, the whole idea of swinging is nsa, if 1 person is cheating then theres always strings there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If we can meet socially with the other half to confirm that said permission/agreement is there then we have no problem, but we are not here to help people cheat and wont knowingly do it, that is not swinging, if people want to cheat thats upto them but they shouldnt unwittingly use swingers to do that, everyone involved should no what they are getting into, the whole idea of swinging is nsa, if 1 person is cheating then theres always strings there."

Fair play to you for taking the time out to see if the guy is genuine sadly many dont bother. It is obvious that my point will never come across , some have posted with the same issues but already cheating has been mentioned along with strings and baggage subconscious negative thoughts have found there way into all that read this post.

The world is not a fair place and fabbed is no different unlike others I have play mates and friends and a wife I trust that trusts me and would never break that trust. I wish everyone a happy trouble free swinging experience especially to all the couples out there who invite people into there relationships but spare a thought for the married man we are bloody good lol x

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By *ench and StripeCouple
over a year ago

Stenalees

We are happy to play solo though we haven't as yet. But any people who want to meet solo we are happy to meet socially 1st as a couple, in fact we would prefer this.

Solo play just offers different dynamic situations to couple play and we enjoy both.

Why would we worry. Elle will return to me and I will return to Elle after with naughty stories to e cite each other with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have a problem to see a hotwife or a single woman who is married and cheating from here, infact the thought turns me on even more

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

As long I have spoken to the 3rd party and they are cool with it I have no problems playing with the other half...

The key word is permission....

I'm not out to help someone cheat behind their partners back... So on more than one occasion if I don't speak to them it goes no further

I'm here for fun, not to break an innocent persons marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't have a problem to see a hotwife or a single woman who is married and cheating from here, infact the thought turns me on even more "

Shock horror! Where are your morals lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As long I have spoken to the 3rd party and they are cool with it I have no problems playing with the other half...

The key word is permission....

I'm not out to help someone cheat behind their partners back... So on more than one occasion if I don't speak to them it goes no further

I'm here for fun, not to break an innocernt persons marriage "

Permission implies that you own that person where as in a swinging relationship you should only need your blessing and usually a lift to the venue there meeting in lol .

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

Away from fab, my current lover has permission from his partner to play. I have spoken to her, and she has agreed. They have their rules that he abides by, and I am happy to meet him. She has her reasons just now for not being very interested in sex, and realises I am no threat to their relationship.

As long as it suits all 3 of us, and noone is getting hurt then its fine.

On here, I would not meet a married man to assist in him cheating. I've been the wee wife sat home being cheated on and would not do that to someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't have a problem to see a hotwife or a single woman who is married and cheating from here, infact the thought turns me on even more

Shock horror! Where are your morals lol"
lol I know. I don't got any

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

Permission implies that you own that person where as in a swinging relationship you should only need your blessing and usually a lift to the venue there meeting in lol . "

No... Permission in this case means that everyone that needs to know has given consent..if I don't have that consent it goes no further .

Nothing about ownership perceived or otherwise ... That's word twisting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have permission. My husband tends to go over the rules we have with a guy before I meet him.

So all parties are happy and boundaries aren't crossed.

I don't think it's about married or not. It's about respect for everyone's happiness."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have permission. My husband tends to go over the rules we have with a guy before I meet him.

So all parties are happy and boundaries aren't crossed.

I don't think it's about married or not. It's about respect for everyone's happiness.

Same here, & my hubby always looks at any potential meets profile, pics . Veri's etc. he always knows where i'll be. I text a couple of times during the meet. Just to let him know I am safe & comfortable with the person. We don't see it as a taboo. After all this site is about sexual liberation & having fun. Why shouldn't married people be allowed to enjoy it? We are after all. 'Swingers' - single people who only meet single people technically aren't swingers but they seem to get up on their high horses about it "

Pot kettle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its,fine but if they have a partner and have full permission have the balls to put it on there profile . And dont just sling it in after a few messages . If its on your profile then people can choose to or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this post interesting, I am married, & very much happy & in love, we swing together & also alone. I find from a female point that no guys are bothered wether the lady is married or not. In fact a lot of them find it a turn on. But my hubby sadly struggles to get meets because he is always upfront about being married with consent to play alone. (even though he is bloody fit & great in the sack!) I think a lot of people on here are disillusioned as to what 'swinging' actually is, & just assume that there will be 'baggage' & 'hassle' from meeting one half of a couple,

As long as all parties involved have spoke & confirmed & happy then I don't see how it's any different from any other form of meet. Mfmf fmf mfm. - they can all easily come with baggage & hassle of their own. Partners getting jealous watching their partner having what they see as too much fun etc etc.

I think a lot of it is definitely down to the other people's lack of understanding, some couples enjoy meeting solo. We do, & it doesn't mean that it's going to be any different from meeting a single person. & it definitely doesn't cause any problems, quite the opposite in fact. - the sex we have together after a solo meet is bloody mind blowing

I'd say that's a pretty good take on it.

For me though, it's not about lack of understanding, it's about once bitten, twice shy. A bad experience is tough to put behind you and whilst one shouldn't compare or tar everyone with the same brush, it's not always that simple. There are so many singles out there, for me it's easier to do that than risk the drama. "

I totally agree with you. Each meet & each person is different, but there are a lot of genuine swingers who do play separately & have no problems with it within their own relationship, so I don't see why other people should write them off. & the whole bad experiences thing. I had one too. With a single guy! Put me off meeting for nearly a year.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't meet male half's of couples even if their wife's knows I just find single guys less complicated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have permission. My husband tends to go over the rules we have with a guy before I meet him.

So all parties are happy and boundaries aren't crossed.

I don't think it's about married or not. It's about respect for everyone's happiness.

Same here, & my hubby always looks at any potential meets profile, pics . Veri's etc. he always knows where i'll be. I text a couple of times during the meet. Just to let him know I am safe & comfortable with the person. We don't see it as a taboo. After all this site is about sexual liberation & having fun. Why shouldn't married people be allowed to enjoy it? We are after all. 'Swingers' - single people who only meet single people technically aren't swingers but they seem to get up on their high horses about it

Pot kettle"

??

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

Permission implies that you own that person where as in a swinging relationship you should only need your blessing and usually a lift to the venue there meeting in lol . "

I do find it interesting that of all the people that used the word permission. The op who used it as a title, the countless ppl who used it before me, I am the one who gets accused of using it as a byword for something else... But there you go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I used to play with married men and women who had permission to play alone.

Then I met a man, met his wife in McDonald's to have a chat. She confirmed she was happy for him to seek it elsewhere. A month or so down the line, we've met a few times, we text each other whilst we are going about our daily lives.

Then I get a text from the wife asking to meet. Turns out she's happy for him to get sex elsewhere, but the texting and the chatting is a huge problem for her. She'd tried talking to him, he'd told her not to be so stupid.

I walked away. Sometimes it isn't the sex elsewhere that is an issue. People forget that. "

My OH had said to me that she wouldn't have a problem with me having a one night stand but would have a problem if I had a relationship with someone. Her logic is that I would then be giving my love to someone else, not her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Permission implies that you own that person where as in a swinging relationship you should only need your blessing and usually a lift to the venue there meeting in lol .

I do find it interesting that of all the people that used the word permission. The op who used it as a title, the countless ppl who used it before me, I am the one who gets accused of using it as a byword for something else... But there you go"

It's Ok call it a school boy error regarding couples lol

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I have been seeing someone for over 3 years who has permission, his wife meets single men as well and they also play as a couple meeting other couples.

The reason why I initially felt comfortable with the situation is that they have a joint profile saying they also meet singles alone and both had verification to support this fact.

I have meet his wife a few times and there are no issues/problems, he does occasionally text me, but it is never about anything sexual, just a quick catch up unless we arranging a repeat meet. So it does work if everyone is on the same page

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

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By *ombshellWoman
over a year ago

islington


"I don't meet male half's of couples even if their wife's knows I just find single guys less complicated "

Snap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just meet a single guy less complicated for me that way, I do not want to have to talk to his wife to make sure it is all ok so it would not be for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couldn't care less from a moral stance. I am the guardian of my own morals - no-one else's!

If you're looking for regular meets with the same person - married's seem to be more reliable for daytime meets - and singles for evening/weekend meets!

I just prefer attached guys to be straight with me so I can make darned sure that I don't get emotionally attached to them in any way - as I have no intention of being party to a couple splitting up! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area. "

Sorry to appear a bit thick, but it has been said that the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'. How does that fit in with cheating?

There is a big difference between not being 'truly' honest, being dishonest and cheating in our opinion.

Speaking as a couple, isn't the underpinning thing in swinging all about honesty and openness between partners?

We define cheating as not being honest with your partner if you have one.

Still interesting what other people think, but let's be honest, we know what opinion we are going to get from the hundreds of people who ARE cheating on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its,fine but if they have a partner and have full permission have the balls to put it on there profile . And dont just sling it in after a few messages . If its on your profile then people can choose to or not "

Even more disappointing when they are great fun and drop in the 'married and lying' info on the second meet. Respect to the honest guys...we all have our reasons for being here and they are best out in the open.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Couldn't care less from a moral stance. I am the guardian of my own morals - no-one else's!

If you're looking for regular meets with the same person - married's seem to be more reliable for daytime meets - and singles for evening/weekend meets!

I just prefer attached guys to be straight with me so I can make darned sure that I don't get emotionally attached to them in any way - as I have no intention of being party to a couple splitting up! Xx"

Great posting and a superb profile. Totally agree. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd want to speak to the OH. Scared off a few asking that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Its,fine but if they have a partner and have full permission have the balls to put it on there profile . And dont just sling it in after a few messages . If its on your profile then people can choose to or not

Even more disappointing when they are great fun and drop in the 'married and lying' info on the second meet. Respect to the honest guys...we all have our reasons for being here and they are best out in the open."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would just meet a single guy less complicated for me that way, I do not want to have to talk to his wife to make sure it is all ok so it would not be for me."

i agree when i meet a guy i don't want to speak to his wife to get her approval too, the whole point of meeting single men is so it's just me and him and noone else to worry about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi all, hope your all well.

I've read many posts regarding people's choice on playing with married people who's partners do not know (cheating).

I'm interested to see if anyone's views differ to someone who's married but has full permission from their partner.

I'm curious because in cuckolding / hotwife lifestyles, ladies are encouraged by their husbands to seek out men for both their enjoyment, whether the husband is present or not. This is viewed as ok by most I would say.

However, being here before (about a year ago) and back again now, I've experienced couples looking for men but say no to married men.

I accept that "some" married men may say their partner knows and is lying. But that can be said of a "single" man who is married but lying.

So I'm asking, couples or ladies looking for a man. Is it acceptable or would you change your opinion if he has permission?

"
We would just assume you overpower her with what you want and she is powerless in your relationship,then again we dont meet single men anyway and we dont meet couples where the man has to get someone else in to satisfy his wife

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By *ittletonCplCouple
over a year ago

cannock

We chose a married man without permission. Makes it a treat - keeps it fresh and we all know what we and what we don't....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/10/14 19:33:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single woman my personal preference is to stear clear of marrieds who do not have the approval of their partners.

Consent given by the OH by meet I'd be perfectly happy to play with married. Each couple will have their own boundaries and I would wholly respect those as the relationship must come first. Just because ppl swing does not mean they are cheating. Ppl who swing are open about it and often both parties get something out of extra play either together or apart. For me cheating is deceit.

I'd love to be in a loving relationship with a guy who understands the lifestyle but in the real world meeting ppl who accept that sex and love can be separated and enjoyed is not so easy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With permission is fine to me.

Tbh though there are plenty of definitely single guys in here so I would choose them over the hassle of trying to figure out if a guy is married or in a relationship and has permission or not. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most "single" guys but really married (the cheats) are pretty easy to dot....not accommodating is usual tell tale sign.

The biggest problem is their lack of reliability! Hence best avoided.?

I wonder if the attitude is different to married women?

Personally I couldn't give a monkeys...the "cheating" if any is on their heads.

I have played with several married "single" women. Some with and some without partners knowledge....no problem for me..

One of my fairly regular playmates has not had sex with her hubby (or anyone else) for the best part of two years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used to play with married men and women who had permission to play alone.

Then I met a man, met his wife in McDonald's to have a chat. She confirmed she was happy for him to seek it elsewhere. A month or so down the line, we've met a few times, we text each other whilst we are going about our daily lives.

Then I get a text from the wife asking to meet. Turns out she's happy for him to get sex elsewhere, but the texting and the chatting is a huge problem for her. She'd tried talking to him, he'd told her not to be so stupid.

I walked away. Sometimes it isn't the sex elsewhere that is an issue. People forget that. "

Very similar, my wife knows where I go, however she doesn't want to know who with or what happened. It works for us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Wow!! It was like waiting for a Bus!! Nothing for 7 weeks & then an influx of messages!!

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who contributed with your own views & opinions, all of which are valid & true to you.

I started reading all the comments & I got about half way & started gathering my own thoughts, just as someone had messaged kind of what I was thinking.

"TRUST & HONESTY"

Swinging is NOT cheating, it's for people to enjoy an alternative lifestyle based on trust & honesty, with those they play with & with their partners (if they have them).

So even when someone is being HONEST, some still have no TRUST. They want to call & speak to their partner as they have no TRUST in you. So, some will then become DISHONEST, with whom some will TRUST. They will later find out about the DISHONESTY & then have no TRUST in any "Single" men.

People with permission, play on here or clubs for their own personal reasons. Why some of you feel the need to have to involve partners to obtain their permission bemuses me at times, they, like yourselves have a choice on whether they want to be involved or not.

My wife chooses not, at this time anyway. She also chooses to not want any details. I have a very loving relationship with my wife, it is not because I am controlling in any way (thanks to one poster), it was her suggestion!

It's funny because, I have some text messages that I took a snapshot of. It explains her telling me to go & have some fun. But I know that if I said to someone about them, they would still say that it was not enough proof!

Again, no TRUST!

So, married with permission, we continue to be patient just as many couples & singles would advise.

Those that we meet along the way, that are able to TRUST & understand your HONESTY will probably become very good friends.

That's what I'm looking for anyway. Then if my darling, loving wife decides that she does want to dip her toes again, I will have some great friends to introduce to her.

Thanks again though

Shame most of those that are willing to meet married with permission are many miles away from me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol check "what am I doing wrong thread", big dramas there about cheating to

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area. "

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty."

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both play solo with each others permission. Sara set up a single profile for her and I tend to use the this one for myself and the occasional times we meet together.

We both are 100% honest with any potential play friends and so far not one has asked to speak to the other to verify this. But I tend to offer this if they at all worried about my honesty but not one have taken me up on the offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we played alone we both had single profiles

Myself ( Auds ) met a few nice guys

Jas ... Nope not a sausage lol

And that was us saying in his and our cpls profile that he was free to play alone lol

X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest."

Totally true & cheating is still cheating however it is dressed up if the partner does not know about it.

But it's fair to say that some "swinging couples" play seperately or in my case, she doesn't play at all. But she is happy for me to play alone.

Surely that's not considered cheating?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest.

Totally true & cheating is still cheating however it is dressed up if the partner does not know about it.

But it's fair to say that some "swinging couples" play seperately or in my case, she doesn't play at all. But she is happy for me to play alone.

Surely that's not considered cheating? "
As she ever comfirmed shes happy for you to meet over the phone or in person with any meets?

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I used to play with both couples and with men who had permission, but after being in the middle of some very strange dynamics I made the decision to only play with actual single men.

Yes you may have permission but is your other half genuinely ok with you playing? Am I going to get grief or unwanted messages?

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest.

Totally true & cheating is still cheating however it is dressed up if the partner does not know about it.

But it's fair to say that some "swinging couples" play seperately or in my case, she doesn't play at all. But she is happy for me to play alone.

Surely that's not considered cheating? "

Of course its not cheating if you can prove that to be true, but many will say that hoping people will just take there word for it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I used to play with both couples and with men who had permission, but after being in the middle of some very strange dynamics I made the decision to only play with actual single men.

Yes you may have permission but is your other half genuinely ok with you playing? Am I going to get grief or unwanted messages?"

My other half is absolutely ok with me playing. She has been encouraging me to go out to tonight, however I have a bit if a cold (not man flu) & not sure if I'm quite up for it. So I've put up a meet for tomorrow.

She has never asked for contact details of whom I've met as she doesn't want to know who I meet or anything that goes on.

I've asked her (poster above this one) if she would confirm on the phone, she's said she would rather not. As I had mentioned earlier in the thread, she doesn't want any details but is happy for me to play occasionally.

I was cheated on by my ex wife,she slept with my so called best mate. I know how much it hurts & how devastated I was for some time. I would not wish that pain on my wife, I love her & she loves me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest.

Totally true & cheating is still cheating however it is dressed up if the partner does not know about it.

But it's fair to say that some "swinging couples" play seperately or in my case, she doesn't play at all. But she is happy for me to play alone.

Surely that's not considered cheating?

Of course its not cheating if you can prove that to be true, but many will say that hoping people will just take there word for it."

Yes, many will say that & I do understand why people would be wary. However, it's a case of guilty until proven innocent. There is no trust even when someone is being honest.

It's like stating "I'm a professional" do people need to prove they're not claiming job seekers?

As I've said previously, I could send a couple of text messages that she has sent me telling me to go out (one from earlier today), but that would still not be enough for some people. They would say anyone can make up a text!

Everyone's circumstances are different, but some people are very untrusting. I would not lie to someone for sex, there's no point, I get plenty at home, just nice now & then to have something a bit naughty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

Sorry to appear a bit thick, but it has been said that the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'. How does that fit in with cheating?

There is a big difference between not being 'truly' honest, being dishonest and cheating in our opinion.

Speaking as a couple, isn't the underpinning thing in swinging all about honesty and openness between partners?

We define cheating as not being honest with your partner if you have one.

Still interesting what other people think, but let's be honest, we know what opinion we are going to get from the hundreds of people who ARE cheating on here!"

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I dont know what category i fall into tbh married playing with permission and wifey is also on here playing solo we also have cpls profile ...but whether people want to meet me or not for WHATEVER reason is fine by me it doesnt bother me in the slightest for every 100 that doesnt want to meet me theres 1 that does so im happy with my lot

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By *dventuroususCouple
over a year ago

sunderland


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest.

Totally true & cheating is still cheating however it is dressed up if the partner does not know about it.

But it's fair to say that some "swinging couples" play seperately or in my case, she doesn't play at all. But she is happy for me to play alone.

Surely that's not considered cheating?

Of course its not cheating if you can prove that to be true, but many will say that hoping people will just take there word for it.

Yes, many will say that & I do understand why people would be wary. However, it's a case of guilty until proven innocent. There is no trust even when someone is being honest.

It's like stating "I'm a professional" do people need to prove they're not claiming job seekers?

As I've said previously, I could send a couple of text messages that she has sent me telling me to go out (one from earlier today), but that would still not be enough for some people. They would say anyone can make up a text!

Everyone's circumstances are different, but some people are very untrusting. I would not lie to someone for sex, there's no point, I get plenty at home, just nice now & then to have something a bit naughty. "

That none trust and urge to check things out is down to the amount of people on here that do just lie straight out, many people here dont want to be caught up in a web of lies or named in a divorce case or have angry husbands/wives turning up to confront them, so they either wont go there or check things out 1st, however having said that, there are people that dont care and will turn a blind eye to it all, as they believe it doesnt concern them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest.

Totally true & cheating is still cheating however it is dressed up if the partner does not know about it.

But it's fair to say that some "swinging couples" play seperately or in my case, she doesn't play at all. But she is happy for me to play alone.

Surely that's not considered cheating?

Of course its not cheating if you can prove that to be true, but many will say that hoping people will just take there word for it.

Yes, many will say that & I do understand why people would be wary. However, it's a case of guilty until proven innocent. There is no trust even when someone is being honest.

It's like stating "I'm a professional" do people need to prove they're not claiming job seekers?

As I've said previously, I could send a couple of text messages that she has sent me telling me to go out (one from earlier today), but that would still not be enough for some people. They would say anyone can make up a text!

Everyone's circumstances are different, but some people are very untrusting. I would not lie to someone for sex, there's no point, I get plenty at home, just nice now & then to have something a bit naughty.

That none trust and urge to check things out is down to the amount of people on here that do just lie straight out, many people here dont want to be caught up in a web of lies or named in a divorce case or have angry husbands/wives turning up to confront them, so they either wont go there or check things out 1st, however having said that, there are people that dont care and will turn a blind eye to it all, as they believe it doesnt concern them."

Yeah your right, like everything else in life, minority ruin things for the majority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The focus of this thread is interesting because of what people define as cheating and not cheating, which relies on 'permission' and a level of honesty.

Yet the nature of this site doesn't always lend itself that much to being truly 'honest'.

I think it's all a very grey area.

the nature of the site and the nature of swinging is all about openess and honesty.

We agree totally and thanks for being another voice!

Of course, most single guys will say anything because, well, most of them are desperate single guys!

True swinging couples however, believe in being open and honest with their partners. Whilst we have read about the different reasons people may have to cheat, it is still that; cheating.

People can always choose not to cheat, can't they?

Would love to hear their theory on how cheating is being honest.

Totally true & cheating is still cheating however it is dressed up if the partner does not know about it.

But it's fair to say that some "swinging couples" play seperately or in my case, she doesn't play at all. But she is happy for me to play alone.

Surely that's not considered cheating?

Of course its not cheating if you can prove that to be true, but many will say that hoping people will just take there word for it.

Yes, many will say that & I do understand why people would be wary. However, it's a case of guilty until proven innocent. There is no trust even when someone is being honest.

It's like stating "I'm a professional" do people need to prove they're not claiming job seekers?

As I've said previously, I could send a couple of text messages that she has sent me telling me to go out (one from earlier today), but that would still not be enough for some people. They would say anyone can make up a text!

Everyone's circumstances are different, but some people are very untrusting. I would not lie to someone for sex, there's no point, I get plenty at home, just nice now & then to have something a bit naughty.

That none trust and urge to check things out is down to the amount of people on here that do just lie straight out, many people here dont want to be caught up in a web of lies or named in a divorce case or have angry husbands/wives turning up to confront them, so they either wont go there or check things out 1st, however having said that, there are people that dont care and will turn a blind eye to it all, as they believe it doesnt concern them.

Yeah your right, like everything else in life, minority ruin things for the majority. "

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

I have never worn a wedding ring,me and wife swung together and solo,yes I have her permission and she has mine,we normally play at club together and have solo meets else where,I don't want to be bothered with people phoning up an saying please sir may I screw your wife and vice versa,as long as I know she is safe,I'm OK with it, we are only on this site for fun,if we play solo we always spill the beans after and have fun ourself after,we find plenty wife's and husbands at club without their partners knowledge but that's none of our business, what goes on at club stays at club,we do draw the line if invited to a private home,we enjoy the lifestyle of having sex with others,at least we won't end up divorced like some people we know who could not be open and honest with each other, now divorce with broken family's,we been together 28 years last five swinging enjoying every minute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

either way its a no go for me. simply bad expierences

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By *ohn and KellyCouple
over a year ago

Cannock

It's a big old nope for me, it's either the couple or none at all. No chance would I put myself at risk like that, too much drama for my liking if it all goes wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We prefer to play with single men and I haven't ever asked if they were in a relationship or married. To be honest its none of my business. I presume that the man is a responsible adult who is old enough to make his own choices in life. I'm there for a good time and as long as my house is in order who am I to tell someone else what they are doing is right or wrong.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

^^^^Exactly this!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and mr b play solo as well ( need to check and see if its still on our profiles) as our jobs dont lend themselves to much free time together so when we do have free time we do like to either keep it for us or go to a club.

Im aka mrs b vouyistic so get off on him playing solo we do tell each other everything and i will either arrange it for him or speak to the person, and we do follow rules with it x

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