FabSwingers.com forum: What's wrong with people on this site?

By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Hi to everyone

My name is Giovanni I'm Italian and I'm new in Leeds (before I was in Scotland and in Brighton)

Though it is a long time that I'm a member on Fab I don't use it very often so I didn't have many meets so far.

But it is also true that writing to women and couple on here it could be very discouraging sometimes. I'm not Brad Pitt, but as many women say I'm a very good looking guy (my pictures are public so you can say) and I consider myself also pretty much confident and with a strong personality and sense of humour.

But many people on here just don't answer to my messages, or much worse they just delete them straightforward......My messages are never offensive, stupid or things like hey sexy, hi huni, may I come around tonight?

Although English is not my language I'm quite a clever and argumentative person, plus (I don't intend to be arrogant) but when I see the pictures of the guys have slept with these couples or women are very ugly and the things written on their profile don't reveal a particular high level of intelligence.....................so what? I mean I don't pretend that all the women in Yorkshire want to have sex with me but they have been playing with some monsters and they don't even want to give me the chance of a chat to see how we get on.

I have also thought that probably is a question of being in the right social cast.

Probably these men not particularly attractive have two three four five some all around UK because they know the right people, parties, clubs, etc

But also in this case I tried to chat to some people who were proposing on their profile to play in clubs but then they answered that they don't know when they go exactly and they sounded cold, distant which it makes me feel that this people is not genuine but they are also sponsors of these clubs.

I'm not desperate, I don't need Fab to have sex with women. But it is also true that I joined this web site with the hope of knowing open minded people with whom sharing fantasies and do new exciting experiences and not only sexually but also socially, but except some rare cases of fantastic people I met which they are still my friends (see my reviews) I found a wall made of rude people who mysteriously don't even want to try to know me although I'm good looking, polite and clever. Please I still want to try to enjoy Fab and have new experiences especially with couples, threesomes, parties and clubs, with the right people, if there is anyone on this site who can give me the right advice or much better involving me in parties, group sex, or also just social events I would be extremely grateful. Thanks for reading this long message

Giovanni

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above unfortunately, your profile is your advert! And its not selling much

you can clearly explain yourself on your post so try putting a little more on your profile

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 14/07/14 23:29:17]

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

To Tempting Devil

Good point, I'm not a profile fan, I think it is better go and find out yourself if you like the pictures....and however if you read my comments, you can already have a clue that I'm not a 4 words kind of lover. I can also update my profile, but you really want to make me believe that if a guy contact you and you like his pictures you don't even give it a go and try to know more about him by chatting just because he didn't write a long profile text....mmm, hard to believe honestly. I see your point and I can surely improve my profile but I think there is something else. Probably women like a cheeky english sense of humour that I don,t have unfortunately.....but most of all I believe there are casts on this site, that you have to build a sort of social ID within fab community

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress."

blimey you weren't kidding about the 4 word profile! lol

Giovanni - put some of that energy and passion from your post up there into your profile for gods sake man

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Hi to everyone

My name is Giovanni I'm Italian and I'm new in Leeds (before I was in Scotland and in Brighton)

Though it is a long time that I'm a member on Fab I don't use it very often so I didn't have many meets so far.

I have also thought that probably is a question of being in the right social cast.

Probably these men not particularly attractive have two three four five some all around UK because they know the right people, parties, clubs, etc

Giovanni "

OP, love the username but there is very little to see on your profile. I.e it doesn't stand out for me

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

oh my - lovely pics though!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They fell asleep halfway through the rant lol

Her

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Girls first of all thanks for reading my long rant

sorry if I'm in a mood tonight.

I see your point and I totally agree. But trust me this site is full of guys who just put 4/5 pictures of a cock (very often not even big or thick) two words in a bad English and they have 30 verifications and they have been with stunning women from 18 to 80

Much worse many other men put horrible pictures that a woman even after 20 gin and tonic would find sexy and four words and they have loads of verifications they have been involved in threesomes gang bangs and parties.

Some others they have more details profile but they are exactly a copy and paste of other thousands on here....so what's the point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrogance is SUCH a cool look

Gimp

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if you had taken that much time with your profile as you did with your OP rant, then maybe people would know a lot more about you...

your profile is your shop window to the world... and fab swingers hasn't started charging by the word quite yet so how about using some...

4 words doesn't scream "i am different to others and you should pick me over others because..........." 4 words scream "i am too lazy to even bother selling myself"

if you cannot be bother to help yourself, why should others invest the time in helping you?????

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By *iss-PinkWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

I personally wouldn't respond (regardless of how nice pictures may or may not be) because of the poor profile text - I'm one of those who reads the profile before opening the message.

Really - 15 minutes invested in your profile now will possibly make your life so much easier on this site.

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Girls so may of you have 3 words profile because you know that men are so horny that they won't waste time reading. Others instead spend the 95% of the texts to intimidate men because they are shocked from the big quantity of freaks on this site (at least I'm a gentleman and you can see that by my verifications) so why a woman should pretend a romance from me but she cannot be bothered to write something to sound interesting to men rather than write down a codes of practice book?

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

there is a lovely phrase.....

if you give a person enough rope... they will eventually hang themselves with it...

slagging off others for your own faults isn't the most attractive trait.... you are doing yourself no favours......

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By *ingersnthumbsMan
over a year ago

London

The guy has a very good point!! And I've seen profiles where it's just says "fill later!! Or .... But yet they have meets and verifications? So it doesn't really come down to selling yourself on you're profile! What it really comes down to, is your initial first contact, you're first message and whether you get a reply from it!! I'm I wrong? The art of it, is not all about telling them stuff, about themselves! It's ok having a little chat about them, they got nice pictures, I like your profile ect ect, but what you need to, is put questions in there!! and then they will/maybe respond to you answering your questions! Then you can go from there...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Girls so may of you have 3 words profile because you know that men are so horny that they won't waste time reading. Others instead spend the 95% of the texts to intimidate men because they are shocked from the big quantity of freaks on this site (at least I'm a gentleman and you can see that by my verifications) so why a woman should pretend a romance from me but she cannot be bothered to write something to sound interesting to men rather than write down a codes of practice book?"

Ok heres a Gimps top tip, You are a Man, I am a man..Women have what we want and so they have the right to be selective, I'm lucky in that i have a partner but for the single blokes it is always going to be harder, You need to stand out and make an effort,Believe it or not the Birds wont come flocking because you think yourself better looking than the blokes they have shagged, Quite the opposite in fact.

Calling other Blokes ugly is not only disrespectful to the blokes concerned but more importantly its disrespectful to the Ladies that you are trying to impress

Gimp

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Surely there’s a middle ground between "2 word profile" and "some bills hut cut and pasted from elsewhere" that an intelligent man could exploit to his advantage?

Frankly, there is no excuse for OP to effectively choose one end of the scale just because he doesn't like either end of the scale.

Single men are ten a penny around here, so like it or not you'll need either some means of differentiating yourself or a lady-person to accompany you.

Man up and write a profile....

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Bloody hell Fabio....I was having a read to your incredibly long list of verifications.....you are my idol on Fabio

certainly an inspiration, such a shame you don't live in Leeds otherwise I would like to have a friend like you in town to go together to parties sometimes and have some advice. You are right maybe I'm a bit negative because I come from a tough moment and now being new in Leeds I feel bit lonely which it makes me insecure. Maybe reading your profile I will find some inspiration and if you like when I will have written it down you might check the grammar if you want. However thanks a lot not many men help each other in this kind of things, you really are a nice man

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Thanks to everyone I'm really surprised for the many answers I have received although as you have underlined my post was a bit annoying, this shows that this is a real community and not just a cold butcher window as I thought sometimes. My biggest mistake it was to don't think about using the forum in all this time I have been member on fab. Thanks again and I hope to can discuss other times with you, especially about the social side of Fab in the real world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP:

Don't worry babe, Fab's not for me either, soooo many other/better ways to organise fun.

Em x

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

for example?

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By *ingersnthumbsMan
over a year ago

London

"for example?"

Pmsl well one guy on another discussion reckons Sainsbury's

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

what did he mean?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To Tempting Devil

But here on fab couples and ladies have a lot of choice when it comes to single guys... many won't bother to go and find stuff out if you don't have it on your profile. You don't need to write a novel but something is better than nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there is a lovely phrase.....

if you give a person enough rope... they will eventually hang themselves with it...

slagging off others for your own faults isn't the most attractive trait.... you are doing yourself no favours......"

I always liked "give me six lines written by an honest man and I will find in them something to hang him"

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

Maybe you're too good looking and intimidate the women you approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread doesn't give a good write up for blokes in Yorkshire, does it? Monsters, ugly with small willies! So I've read, anyway. Do the fair maidens of Yorkshire agree?

Seriously, OP, you have said some awful things in your post. Time to retract?

Yours, Angry (though not from Yorkshire)

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By *ighland_RoseCouple
over a year ago

Brigadoon

The biggest cock I ever met was from Yorkshire.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This thread doesn't give a good write up for blokes in Yorkshire, does it? Monsters, ugly with small willies! So I've read, anyway. Do the fair maidens of Yorkshire agree?

Seriously, OP, you have said some awful things in your post. Time to retract?

Yours, Angry (though not from Yorkshire)"

Totaly too us it makes him sound like he gods gift.

My self personaly stop using furums to try an slag all off so op feels bigger better. This maybe your problem. We think we found ours it lead to s meet tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Others may have short profile but they are not the ones worried about meets. Your o.p. was well written and does say a lot about you so what's wrong with putting more into your profile.

The more you put in the more you will get out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I knew what was wrong too but heyho that's fab life and moving on with mine

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"To Tempting Devil

All I have to go on is what I look for And what the Fab women of my acquaintance say they look for. As a forum and social regular I have a long list of Fab women of my acquaintance and I'm familiar with their views on this and other profile issues.

The "will fill in later" or "if you want to know just ask" variety of profiles may be accompanied but pictures of really hot men but there are plenty of really hot men on site who put the effort into writing a decent, informative profile which gives a clue to their personality.

And yes, personality counts. If you expect me to go into a locked and private space with you and get naked then I have to be comfortable with you - if you want less discerning women then try POF. Swinging is about sex but not only about sex. It is about satisfying, fantasy-fulfilling sex with a partner who will treat you and your kinks with respect even if it's a one-off meet at relatively short notice.

I'm not looking for long profiles, you don't need to write War and Peace (despite the fact that you are obviously capable of it going by your opening post) but a little bit explaining what you're looking for, what you have to offer and the type of meets you prefer would help. Many Fab women will read between the lines: there are aggressively written profiles and depressed ones and angry ones which all give away more than they realise - why would I put myself naked in a locked and private space with a man who is clearly angry with women?

Add in the fact that most of the replies since mine have echoed the surprise at your lack of profile text and I think you will now see that I'm not alone in my view.

Advice is given freely (albeit with a healthy dose of sarcasm and irony on here) and it is completely your choice as to whether you accept it or decline it.

And welcome to the forums, join in and enjoy, just keep a tin hat handy cos it can get feisty sometimes!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Forgot to reply to the bit about chatting if you like the look of someone's pics but they have no profile text: do you have any idea about the volume of messages women often receive on here? An inbox of over a hundred messages since you last logged on is not unheard of. And some people use fake pics.

So a profile with no text and great pics will be treated with caution even if they are showing a couple of veris ( they can be dodgy too). And if you also have messages from ten hot men with great pics and a well written profile then I know who I'm replying to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why Italians pee me off, I live with one and he too is arrogant, thinks English people are ugly/stupid and blames his misfortune on them instead of accepting advice on how to improve things for himself.

Just remember these so called ugly men are getting meets, you're not! So ask yourself what you're doing wrong? Listen to the advice on here, some of it is good advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe its the ." I'm so great looking and all the other men are ugly " is where you are going wrong ...just saying

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

As others have said, it doesn't matter how gorgeous a guy looks, if he has a crap profile and puts the onus on me to find out about him, I'm not going to bother.

I have other options that don't think they're so great they don't have to make any effort.

If someone won't make an effort to get a meet, what might they be like at a meet?

It's not all about looks, which is demonstrated by the "ugly monsters" getting meets when you aren't.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Put as much effort into your profile as you have your thread....

'ugly' is so subjective, isn't it? But they are still getting meets, so whatever they are doing, the uglies are getting sex and you're not. Maybe they are beautiful inside....?

I find it hilarious when men post in the forum about their lack of success despite having a big cock etc blah de blah and it turns out that they have no substance to their profile, their communication and social skills are minimal and they whine and whinge about no meets like a little kid whose dropped his toy. I don't mean you in this last paragraph, Giovanni, just saying what I'm thinking out loud.

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

People like you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your pics alone are not enough as it's difficult for your personality to show. You need to update your profile. I'm being honest and not mean when I say it makes you look lazy x. For me (Fi) if you can't make me laugh I'm not interested no matter how gorgeous you think you are x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put as much effort into your profile as you have your thread....

'ugly' is so subjective, isn't it? But they are still getting meets, so whatever they are doing, the uglies are getting sex and you're not. Maybe they are beautiful inside....?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You really shouldn't waste effort on trying to work out why those you consider to be less attractive that you are successful. Rather put that energy into improving your own profile. It doesn't have to say that much, but it could make that difference you are looking for. Good luck.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Be honest, who doesn't look at an empty profile with good pics and assume they were nicked from somewhere?

Veri's don't mean an awful lot unless you actually know the people who left them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't read the whole of your post. At the point it got arrogant and nasty I gave up. And I suspect if I read the thread advice is falling on deaf ears?

Your post starts off articulate and interesting. You have good pictures, maybe put some effort in to your profile as it is non existant.

And reconsider your user name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at the 5th paragraph in the OP. Have you ever considered that what you may consider ugly with a low intelligence others may find attractive and a good laugh? Maybe that's why they met them. There is, I agree, a need for physical attraction but that said, there are many other factors that attract me to someone other than looks. Ugly on the inside is highly unattractive however good looking the person may be.

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By * Busty HotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

"I didn't read the whole of your post. At the point it got arrogant and nasty I gave up. And I suspect if I read the thread advice is falling on deaf ears?

Your post starts off articulate and interesting. You have good pictures, maybe put some effort in to your profile as it is non existant.

And reconsider your user name"

Absolutely and look to yourself before calling others.

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By *ichaelangelaCouple
over a year ago

notts

As my mother used to say.

Self praise is no recommendation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We English have been fucked by an Italian for years hunny. (Pirlo) ones enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have I woken up in some parallel universe where guys do all the selecting of women?

No.

Guys have to sell themselves as we are but meals on the menu. The women of fab have all the power and so can be as picky as they like and rightly so.

If the OP wants to be noticed on the menu he has to make himself look and sound delicious enough to try.

Summary- write a bloody profile that tells the girls all about yourself and stop bloody arguing about it otherwise you'll put all of them off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I could murder a slice of pizza though.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

And your profile shows how intelligent you are does it?

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"I personally wouldn't respond (regardless of how nice pictures may or may not be) because of the poor profile text - I'm one of those who reads the profile before opening the message.

Really - 15 minutes invested in your profile now will possibly make your life so much easier on this site. "

This

Arrogance and putting down other people is really not an attractive trait.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway "

Change that to SOME people don't read what you write. Then it would be more accurate..

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

"I could murder a slice of pizza though. "

He'll be saying how everyone makes crap pizza next, apart from him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway

Change that to SOME people don't read what you write. Then it would be more accurate..

I always read them, if helps me get an idea about that person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have no text in your profile!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Doesn't matter if you are male or female. Nobody reads what you write anyway

Change that to SOME people don't read what you write. Then it would be more accurate..

Some people.

Some people will mail anything. I get mails from stupid couples and males when I have no pics and only "..." (3 dots) as profile text. Sad but true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress."

this ... You get what you put in

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By *abcouple11Couple
over a year ago

Truro

"What's wrong with people on this site?"

We are all swingers - by definition a bunch of deviant sociopathic incompatible misfits !!!!!

;-)

Some might know the significance of the Dorian Gray reference ("The Picture of Dorian Gray", Oscar Wilde) - rather repulsive character. !!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"To Tempting Devil

But true for a lot of people....if you make no effort on your profile it looks like you can't be arsed to put any effort in.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok having read the OP again, I think if you mail people the same way ie that you are better than the people they may have met, it might be a huge turn off

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By *trawberry-popWoman
over a year ago

South East Midlands NOT

Right OP, DorianGray is not a great profile name, 4 word profiles are totally unappealing. Get a grip of yourself-there is nothing wrong with the people you are messaging, you just haven't done nearly enough to stand out from the crowd. I'd definitely ignore your message!

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Forgot to reply to the bit about chatting if you like the look of someone's pics but they have no profile text: do you have any idea about the volume of messages women often receive on here? An inbox of over a hundred messages since you last logged on is not unheard of. And some people use fake pics.

exactly

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By *eliciouslyNastyMan
over a year ago

London

If you are only after sex or an fb.

A couple of lines and 3 photos on Tinder.

A good looking Italian guy hitting the 30-45 demographic, guaranteed to get between 4 & 10 matches a week.

Obviously not the same as swinging, but for sex, perfect.

I understand you not wanting to write too much, I know a few intelligent foreign individuals who are still a little self conscious about their English (even when they speak better than most natives).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The profile is the first impression..yours is almost empty..Tell something about you..what you are looking for etc.. You have to catch the users eyes somehow.

I think you are cheeky handsome but only some pics are not enough .

Hope you will find what and how you want

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Wow !!!!

When I woke up this morning I found loads of answers to my post, the point is that while last night people who answered was trying to give me helpful advice, this morning I found also many people who was definitely angry for few things I said in my post,(some people even messaged me in private telling me awful things and blocking me without giving me any chance to write back)

I think I need to give an explanation about my post. I start apologising if I have offended anyone it wasn't my intention (and however I wasn't talking about people in Yorkshire because I have lived also in Sussex and Scotland).

I said awful things but how many of you think every day awful things.....the fact that you don't say what you really think in public make you feel better than me?

Actually the women I'm after on Fab are not exactly the top models type, because for me attraction is something really personal and I love the idea of a world where an "ugly man" thanks to his sex appeal can have more encounters than cristiano ronaldo. Serge Gainsbourg famous French song writer was extremely ugly but he had the most beautiful women in the world (like Bridgitte Bardot) after him.

So you are not dealing with a material and stupid Italian guy and I don't consider myself handsome I have been for years really insecure about my look as many people is. (I just report what women in real world tell me in order to analyse a situation I don't understand)

If you read carefully my post I didn't say I don't understand why women like ugly monsters. I said probably some women don't answer because I have a 3 words profile...... so why many men that are absolutely ugly and they don't show any personality because they also have 2 3 words like me in they profile, they have 100 verifications???....probably they belong to a social cast then, that's it!

Of course if a man is not Brad Pitt but he got personality he has all my

admiration.

About cock, I haven't said anything about mine in fact I don't show any picture on my profile, I was just reasoning again about what people say about the presentation, and once again there are men with 2 3 words profile that don't even show their face, but just 4/5 pictures of their cock, which I find really pathetic (personal opinion) and although these poor presentation they have plenty of verifications. And please allow me a bit of sarcasm when I say not even thick and big, it is just a way to make a bit of fun of these macho men that identify themselves in a cock photo.

So, I didn't mean to offend anyone I was just thinking aloud and when we all think we often think awful things, but please rather than attack straightforward read again what I write including it in the specific context and not just reading what you want to read.

I appreciate the advices from who without knowing me thought of helping me that was great. And I apologise again to who felt offended by my words, I'm actually a very sensitive and not material person, it was just a midnight outburst.

However you have no idea how much is hard to write the right profile, I have tried in the past but British women can be really fussy about what you write. You are too dirty, or too nice, to cheesy, too rude, too serious or too playfull, sometimes I think that all the attention of such a high number of horny men can make them feel a bit like virtual pop stars.

Plus unfortunately for many women it is a huge turn on a type of cheeky/naughty talking and sense of humour who is strictly British and an Italian guy will never be able to copy.

However I will do my best to write a good and intriguing profile and if some of you who has been so nice with me wants to come around and leave a comment about how is written I will definitely appreciate it.

Thanks and have a nice day

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

There is no social cast or secret club though...it really doesn't work like that....if someone has loads of verifications they have found a way to be interesting or attract meets, there's nothing bubbling away beneath the surface... It is what it is, a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A looong rant but a four word profile

You do realise that many women will check out the profile first, often even before reading the message. A poor or non-existent profile does not impress."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks to everyone I'm really surprised for the many answers I have received although as you have underlined my post was a bit annoying, this shows that this is a real community and not just a cold butcher window as I thought sometimes. My biggest mistake it was to don't think about using the forum in all this time I have been member on fab. Thanks again and I hope to can discuss other times with you, especially about the social side of Fab in the real world"

Just want to say there are loads of nice Italians in Leeds who are around (not saying all on here) but as Fabio did say right a profile is the "selling point" of anyone. Okay ours is blunt to the point of rude but then again have to deal with those who don't read just look at pictures... Fabio was right a good profile draws attention and helps to make friends..also going to a social meeting people will help...forget about the others with 1 liners look for yourself

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

I know actually Fabio gave me the best answer so far, he didn't judge me as many people on here but talked to me as a friend who wanted to open my eyes about something stupid I was saying. However at the beginning of my post I was saying that probably one of the best way to have more consideration is to live Fab also outside the virtual circle and attend some social event it would be a great way. Do you know anything about that? (I know that I could browse on the site but there are so many and I have the feeling that many of them are just abojut money, I would like to attend a social meeting with genuine people where sex is a consequence of having a nice time together.) Any advice?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you keep mentioning social cast

there is no social cast well not that i've ever noticed but what i will say there is a very fun social scene to be enjoyed and that is very often the way many end up with heaps of verifications

check out the meets requests and parties forum or the clubs events forum and you will find lots of social events going on, pop your name down for a few and once you get into the swing of things peeps will get to see the real you not just the virtual you and before you know it you'll have a whole heap of verifications too

only thing that would put me off on initial contact though is your user name immediately gave me a poor impression of you before i read a thing so might be worth coming up with something new there maybe?

whatever way you deal with this i hope you end up having lots of fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know actually Fabio gave me the best answer so far, he didn't judge me as many people on here but talked to me as a friend who wanted to open my eyes about something stupid I was saying. However at the beginning of my post I was saying that probably one of the best way to have more consideration is to live Fab also outside the virtual circle and attend some social event it would be a great way. Do you know anything about that? (I know that I could browse on the site but there are so many and I have the feeling that many of them are just abojut money, I would like to attend a social meeting with genuine people where sex is a consequence of having a nice time together.) Any advice?"

would like to point out reading thread took so long you posted this while i was writing lol

there are many that don't cost a penny, one i'm doing is in a pub so no entry fee but others have organised others that require a fee but they have never made a penny in fact often left the organiser out of pocket but they organise it as they enjoy the fact they get to bring together like minded peeps for a fabulous night of friend making and merriment

well worth attending some socials trust me, been doing this for over 10 years and we have made some top friends via the social scene

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi to everyone

My name is Giovanni I'm Italian and I'm new in Leeds (before I was in Scotland and in Brighton)

Though it is a long time that I'm a member on Fab I don't use it very often so I didn't have many meets so far.

I have also thought that probably is a question of being in the right social cast.

Probably these men not particularly attractive have two three four five some all around UK because they know the right people, parties, clubs, etc

Giovanni "

Put more effort into your profile,talk about your likes and dislikes etc... although I have to say you look bloody gorgeous, I am not sure I'd be reading much...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't consider myself handsome I have been for years really insecure about my look as many people is. "

But in your opening post you described yourself as 'a very good looking guy'?

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Again...read the post better all the sentence "women say....I'm a very good looking guy",which is true, and I'm not saying that because I want to show off, I have actually been insecure for years, I was just reporting this information for a more generic analysis. But people keep on reading just what they want. I shouldn't have used certain words, but I'm passionate and last night I was upset so I talked in a very colourful way, but bloody hell at least I'm true and genuine and say what I think taking the responsibility and apologising if I'm wrong.....better than many moralist then think things much worse than the ones I said but on the forum are shocked about my words. Are you really better than me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1... your profile is crap 2... if you put more time into your profile like you have to your post then maybe you might stop moaning

3... im off for a brew as me eyes hurt

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Hey I didn't know you had someone with a gun pointed behind your neck who ordered to read my boring post, next time go to the next

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A single male for us should be funny personable and aesthetic. First impressions count for us and that's why we have voted with our feet in this case.

Socials and clubs opened up the party world for us. That and we like to thing we are friendly with no ego. Certainly would not insult other fab users to get ahead of the game.

Shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, unfortunately in the forums, if you ask a question you could get answers you might not like

just remember that people who use the forums may also use peoples response to build up an understanding of the person behind the profile!

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

I haven't insulted anyone read my messages better (and however I don't think you are a saint to tell me shame) I have just used wrong words because I was crossed, but who has a bit of brain on this site fortunately has understood what I meant and tried to open my eyes friendly, while some of you like you for example are just attacking me without knowing anything about me for the pure pleasure of hurting me. You think of being better than me? A person who is better than me make me notice where I'm wrong and in a friendly way offers me a different point of view, you are not better than me actually at least I'm able to apologise you go around judging people and say to be ashamed....who are you???!!!! Please you make me feel sick

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

I'm not here to judge or to be judged and most of all if I say something wrong I'm ready to apologise, but these people who attack me without knowing me is not certainly better than me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O dear... who wants popcorn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O dear... who wants popcorn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't insulted anyone read my messages better (and however I don't think you are a saint to tell me shame) I have just used wrong words because I was crossed, but who has a bit of brain on this site fortunately has understood what I meant and tried to open my eyes friendly, while some of you like you for example are just attacking me without knowing anything about me for the pure pleasure of hurting me. You think of being better than me? A person who is better than me make me notice where I'm wrong and in a friendly way offers me a different point of view, you are not better than me actually at least I'm able to apologise you go around judging people and say to be ashamed....who are you???!!!! Please you make me feel sick"

I'm not sure anyone has personally attacked you or that anyone thinks they are better than anyone else but anyone saying disrespectful things about other people's meets tend to provoke a reaction on here but you have apologised. No one knows much about anyone on here but why not try and change that by writing a profile which puts your personality, what you're here for, what you can offer etc across so that they have some idea of where you're coming from.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You seem so angry ignore the posts you dont like you asked for advice and you got some very good advise use it to your advandage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only you could transfer this passion to your profile then you would be a winner.

You clearly see everything as a personal attack yet refer to "Ugly" men who have a great verification history and then get defensive.

We simply put our approach to swinging and you fly of the handle.

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

However I know what this people's game is they are just trying to tease me to build up arguments manipulating what I said because during the day they have nothing better to do than playing at the jeremy kyle's show. So my participation at this forum ends now in order to don't get involve in their freaky moralist theatre. I just want to apologise to anyone who found some of my words offensive, as I said one hundred times it wasn't my attention, I was crossed and most of all they haven't been manipulated by some people. But most of all I want to say thank you to those people that without knowing me made me notice that I was saying something stupid but being friendly and not judgemental this is a real community, a constructive way to fix problems and give me an optimistic outlook on my experience on Fab, I hope to meet you again on other discussions.

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well this thread is going well!

I'd say your profile is entirely to blame for your lack of success. In a quick check of this area there are indeed a lot of faceless/profile- less men who have been verified. But in nearly all cases its from webcam or dogging meets, and not always from women. Some have clearly fucked anything offered. It's usually the only veri on the profile also. Some of the veris are what I'd call suspect.

On the other hand, the ones with pics and a decent write up, where they do have veris seem to have a lot of them.

You're to be commended for having a face pic public, as most don't. And you're attractive(I think so at least) but if you had ever mailed me I would have probably deleted it as you have no write up at all. It'd leave me wondering if you'd make any effort for me if you can't be arsed to write something about yourself.

And getting arsey with people in here isn't doing you any favours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not here to judge or to be judged and most of all if I say something wrong I'm ready to apologise, but these people who attack me without knowing me is not certainly better than me"
op we have posted twice in this post, both times offered advice regarding your original question, your continued angry ranting and disregard for anyone elses view but your own might be making people notice you for what could be called the wrong reasons??, you are quick to tell others that if they don't like something then not to read it but you set yourself up for criticism early on by ignoring constructive critism when you asked a question??

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

" Serge Gainsbourg famous French song writer was extremely ugly but he had the most beautiful women in the world (like Bridgitte Bardot) after him."

Sorry am French and may be I got the wrong idea here but what is it with the 'good looking' and the 'ugly' and the 'extremely ugly'

What about internal beauty and personality?!

Serge Gainsbourg was a character and had lots of charisma. He had a personality and had various interests... May be these 'good-looking' ladies liked his company because he could actually entertain them and pick their curiosity!

Don't judge a book by it's cover

That's my opinion anyway.

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

I'm not getting arsey with people, why should I get arsey with you for example, you just tell me your opinion and criticise mine in a constructive way and trying to open my eyes (which it should be the aim of a forum) I'm arsey just to few ones, that is people who is clear browsing all day among the posts to find someone to attack because he said something wrong or that could be misunderstood. A bit like those fake celebrities who are paid to be on TV judging and giving opinions about people in the reality shows. I hate it you dont like what I say? Let's talk about it but don't shoot on me without knowing me you are not better than me when you are alone with your thoughts. However let's come to an end of discussion you are all right I will soon write a new profile using the advice of who has been kind with me. But if I have to keep on answering on this forum I will never do it. So bye and thanks to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I haven't insulted anyone read my messages better "

So to clarify nothing in your ipening post is insulting? Seriously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, OP, you have been given some good advice from some on here. If you choose to heed what's been said is ultimately up to you. I'd suggest you do. I'd also recommend trying to get over the sense of rejection that comes with being a single man in this world. All single men will understand the bewilderment that you can feel when someone you're interested in knocks you back and chooses someone you can't see has much to offer. But keep that feeling to yourself. Using words like monster and ugly are less than becoming. Women and couples will make their own choices for their own reasons. Focus instead on those who are interested in you. That or take a break from swinging. I have been involved for several years and know that knock backs can be bad for your self esteem. Sometimes just taking a break from that can be good.

As for social cast, that might seem the case but is a wrong assumption. People will get to know one another through socials, clubs and word of mouth. Networking, in a way. Be a part of that or not. But it is wrong to think that there is any social demographic issue. And be more careful with what you say about others! Best advice I can give

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

And yours is the best advice indeed. You could teach to some people on this forum how is important trying to understand reasons that push a man to write something wrong because is crossed and trying to help him to open his eyes on a constructive way rather than read just some parts if a text and judge with no expiration being aggressive. Also because you must agree that nobody on here as a conscience so clean to be so judgmental. thanks I really appreciate your answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I find it highly degrading when men openly complain about not getting any sex on here

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I m going to cut you some slack (being a yorkshireman from Leeds I m not sure I should!) however as English isn t your first language its likely that the words you re using arent exactly what you re meaning or intending to say, if I m wrong I ll be back,

So my advice there are countless threads on the database where guys have asked for profile advice I d read a couple of them they will mostly say the same things, variety of pictures tell them about you tell them what you might bring that different to other guys etc,

Early on in this thread it was mentioned your 4 word profile would do you no favours yet after all this time its still 4 words long, good looks might garner interest from people keeping it will need a bit more effort,

This old Yorkshire guy has stuff to do,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And yours is the best advice indeed. You could teach to some people on this forum how is important trying to understand reasons that push a man to write something wrong because is crossed and trying to help him to open his eyes on a constructive way rather than read just some parts if a text and judge with no expiration being aggressive. Also because you must agree that nobody on

here as a conscience so clean to be so judgmental. thanks I really appreciate your answer

You have to accept, whether you like it or not, that when you post a topic in the forums, you will, depending on the content of your thread, get judged. Rightly or wrongly, its human nature and as long as people reply within the form rules, they can express their opinions as they see fit based on what's written in front of them. As others have said, put as much fire and passion into your profile as your threads and you'll get much better results. Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perhaps attending a swingers club would help?

getting your face known and chatting to people are the best ways to get your personality across.

thats the advice i'd give any single guy trying to get into 'the scene'.

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By *orianGray OP Man
over a year ago

london

Ok let's end to this thread because I'm alone against a crowd and although the majority of your critics are totally right and I'm the first to admit it, some of you instead sadly are commenting just because they want some blood. So for last time I apologise if I said something awful I was crossed I'm ready to pick up all the previous advices and do a restyle of my profile asap. So what else to say? Thanks to the people tried open my mind and for the others I hope we will have the chance to meet in the real world so you will see that I'm a good guy and sometimes by typing behind a computer it's really hard to communicate.

I go for my restyling guys hope to see you around!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP your profile is still very poor with only 4 words on there nearly a day after your first post, and you are simply not as attractive as you may think as sorry to say but there are better looking guys on this site than yourself without goatee beards :-0 !!

Alot of women dismiss arrogant vain guys and want a down to earth person to meet with who has a good personality as well as a decent physique, and someone to enjoy themselves with in and out the bedroom.

Maybe have a think about your message you send over to potential meets as well as they have to stimulate peoples minds as well, if your using one liners etc then your going to not impress anyone.

Yes this is a site to have sex, but also a site to meet long term swingers who treated right can become regular sex partners!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

DorianGrey:? Can you make good pizza?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Please remember, if you post a question on a forum then people will answer. Because it isn't what you want to hear doesn't mean it is abusive.

Maybe time to leave it there now.

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