FabSwingers.com forum: Deleting messages etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We often chat with people with lots of messages flying back and forth. Then when we've met or played we find most or all of the messages we sent have been deleted.

What would you make of it? We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest.

Are we reading too much into it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We often chat with people with lots of messages flying back and forth. Then when we've met or played we find most or all of the messages we sent have been deleted.

What would you make of it? We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest.

Are we reading too much into it?"

Yes you are over thinking things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We often chat with people with lots of messages flying back and forth. Then when we've met or played we find most or all of the messages we sent have been deleted.

What would you make of it? We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest.

Are we reading too much into it?"

If you dont delete some it takes ages to sort back through

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I delete a message as soon as I've replied to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read and delete every message once I've read it. I don't think there is a specific etiquette to it all, but as I never look in my sent mail, I wouldn't know if someone has read, not read or deleted anything I've sent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete a message as soon as I've replied to it."

this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you cant save them all, if you have read them and don't need to save anything on them, delete

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I delete a message as soon as I've replied to it."

I delete most of mine without reading them at all

To the OP, as I don't usually meet more than once I find deleting messages the best thing to do. No point in them hanging around when there's more people to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to save messages then get rid of them from my in box so it may look like it's deleted but it's still there.

I have to admit I delete my sent messages quite often so I have no idea if the recipient keeps or deletes them.

Best not to worry too much about it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't save ALL messages, obviously lol that should have said I save some messages!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We save important ones and delete the rest when we get round to it. You must do what's best for you in this regard and not worry too much about what other people think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Add the ones you wanna chat to ur email address or use kik, cos imbox can be filled up in no time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To the op ..... yes you are

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I never bother deleting any and don't bither checking to see if any of mine have been either.

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By *hortieWoman
over a year ago

Northampton

"I delete a message as soon as I've replied to it.

I delete most of mine without reading them at all

To the OP, as I don't usually meet more than once I find deleting messages the best thing to do. No point in them hanging around when there's more people to meet. "

I keep messages for a while if i think there is something there. messages are also the best way for me to find their profile, cause i'm horrendous at remembering their username

so i just go down the messages looking for their profile pic :P

i can see the message chain history from any message in that chain, so useless having more than one bit for every message.

If I were on the ball I'd put some messages as saved lol, but always tend to keep the important ones like meet times / contact details

yes - you're worrying too much about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete a message as soon as I've replied to it."

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We often chat with people with lots of messages flying back and forth. Then when we've met or played we find most or all of the messages we sent have been deleted.

What would you make of it? We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest.

Are we reading too much into it?"

Yes you are,some people delete all messages as soon as they're read or sent

Others like me have a mass clear out everynow and then,its not a personal thing at all so don't worry,when they stop replying is when they have lost interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you're overanalysing it, I always delete mine unless, like others have said, they have contact details (or a good pic attached or are just funny!)

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By *jandjbCouple
over a year ago

Nr Manchester

Not much choice really, the number of messages you can see on your list is quite restricted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes

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By *lleyCat1969Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

"I never bother deleting any and don't bither checking to see if any of mine have been either. "

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I delete a message as soon as I've replied to it.

this"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep the ones I'm interested in and delete the rest.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

I keep the latest message from a conversation thread - and then reply to all the rest apologising for deleting the message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest."

Oh my goodness! Is that what you think when you see your messages deleted? I hope not! People are not their messages, the messages are just a tool.

Personally I hate deleting messages but the way the inbox is set up on this site I have to regularly cull convos in order to get to the ones that have scrolled off. I've yet to find a way that works for me. I sometimes glance to see what others do (with mine) and have seen those that delete immediately, those that delete some keep some, and those that don't delete at all. So I know there's no extra meaning in keeping or deleting, it's just communications management

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I just bulk delete every so often, I don't mean anything by it! I just need to see messages I may have missed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We often chat with people with lots of messages flying back and forth. Then when we've met or played we find most or all of the messages we sent have been deleted.

What would you make of it? We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest.

Are we reading too much into it?"

Probably reading too much into it if people have issues over you deleting then they are probably a bit over sensitive.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I delete everything unless it's got a face pic or some important info. I get annoyed if my messages take up more than one page lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete them when I reply otherwise it takes ages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go through now and again and delete though I tend to keep the last message from a person and occasionally a message containing a pic if I liked it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I delete them as soon as I've replied. The supporters feed shows message history and anything with a phone number or face pic I save then delete from my inbox. I like a nice tidy inbox

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its easier to keep the office tidy that way

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Yes your reading too much into it...

We like to keep a tidy inbox, so generally do a bulk delete once a week or so.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone. We were reading too much into it as usual. Time to delete some of our messages!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We often chat with people with lots of messages flying back and forth. Then when we've met or played we find most or all of the messages we sent have been deleted.

What would you make of it? We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest.

Are we reading too much into it?"

Save one so the Convo history is saved delete the rest is a good option if it still works.

Fabs does have the most outdated and appealing message system though.

Having to delete messages just so you can see older ones is just silly

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Whats a message ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone I was chatting to deleted my messages I'd think he was either not interested or was married or had a partner and was scared old messages would link him to someone in other words a slimy cheating bugger I expect my messages to be kept for eternity !!! And if deleted I'd not bother sending any more !!

I'm not just after a bit of fun though .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats a message ?

A message is something women get a lot of but men don't

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BSE

Like shoes ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We save important messages from people we like but mass delete our inbox and outbox every 10 days or so

O.P. you could be overthhinking this

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By *et a roomCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

We save messages with photos that we want to keep and other important details.

Otherwise we delete all messages as soon as we have both read them. Never considered that this may offend people, but maybe they are looking for more than we are in that case.

We rarely check whether our messages have been read and /or deleted. If people want to reply to our last message they will. If not we wouldn't push for a reply so tend not to keep sent messages either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I have a string of messages I normally delete all except the most recent.

With friends I will often delete all fairly quickly...I can easily message again..or in many cases just text em as I have swapped numbers with most.

No real etiquette tbh. Some people just save space. Once it's read it's read or dealt with.

Delete without reading May be seen as ignorant - but really it often just a lazy way of saying "no thanks"?

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

We don't always use the Site Supporters thing, just when we think about it. If we delete messages, they are gone for good!

Like the OP, we also think about why people have deleted our messages just after we sent them, surely people want to be able to refer to what they said? We do! There have been quite a few times when we have just not typed again, because we thought that either they didn't like our pictures or they had decided not to to pursue it any further for another reason.

All those people who we may have been able to meet, some really nice ones too.. Oh the shame of it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We delete all but the last message in a thread so that each other can see the conversation

I have to say, we do use deleting messages with people we're not interested in as a way of drawing the communication to a close...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do the same as above leave the last message, or maybe another one if pictures and phone numbers have been sent. Why clog up an inbox?

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"We often chat with people with lots of messages flying back and forth. Then when we've met or played we find most or all of the messages we sent have been deleted.

What would you make of it? We're paranoid about not deleting messages in case people think we've lost interest.

Are we reading too much into it?"

yes you are we delete messages to keep things tidy lol

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