FabSwingers.com forum: I need to break my couple virginity! X

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Advice on the best way to go about it, gratefully received!

I would love to meet a couple and, at some point, a woman for new experiences however I am finding it a challenge to attract the right people. I find the whole thing quite intimidating.

I'd love to find an attractive localish couple who share the same ideas as me however won't put me under any pressure. Think I need a coach!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I like to see the dynamics of the couple before I play. I only play with couples in clubs. If I don't like what I see socially then play doesnt happen. Jealousy, especially with the inexperienced swingers can turn v ugly. I wouldnt want to be home alone in that situation (and sometimes ive been v glad ive stuck to that) of course discuss boundaries - do you all play or not, attraction all round and most importantly only do what you are happy with. If not walk/run away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have a coach....but I can provide a minibus. And I'm a fully accredited driver!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ooh, makes it sound worse Ha!

Thanks hun. I have been to a club however it wasn't the greatest night for people. It did give me a thirst for more clubs however, just need to find someone willing to go with me. Definitely will go again and have thought that would be the best environment to play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking as a couple that have met a few single females, our advice would be to get the know the couple first, watch their body language and how they are together, make sure it's something they both want and not just the male half wanting to see his woman with another woman. Set your boundaries in advance of any play meets!

And lastly have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agree with the above and have seen first hand couples who don't have the right dynamic. We think it's best to meet up somewhere neutral have a drink and a chat and see where it leads.

C&S x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am finding it a challenge to attract the right people. I find the whole thing quite intimidating."

I have one piece of advice for you: do your own hunting.

Run your own searches, pick the ones that sound good to you, initiate contact. Be the one that picks, not the one that gets picked.

As a single woman it is very, very easy to get too used to sitting back and letting people (men!) do the approaching. But who could recognise a potential match better than you yourself? The userbase is yours for the taking, so work it! It may feel hard to be putting yourself out there in this way but believe me, not many couples will turn down communicating with you, if not more.

Also if you are really serious about meeting couples and women, you may want to focus on these exclusively for a while. Because once men are in the mix they will take most of your focus and time, through their sheer number and eagerness to interact. Good luck!

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

It doesn't seem to have been mentioned, but if you are confident chatting on the phone yourself, an early phone call can save you a lot of time and wasted energy. You will no doubt get a lot of 'couples' contacting you, and the easiest way to out the ones who are real is to chat to them both early on.

Speaking for ourselves, we tend to find that you get a very good measure of people over the phone too, far better than you will get from messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm glad you started this thread OP. I've been thinking lately that the whole FFM thing really involves a lot more connecting between people, getting to know each other, and getting a better sense of whether that extra F will work out OK sandwiched in there

This may take time and patience rather than rushing in there. In this sense I feel it takes a totally different approach from the usual NSA "don't ask my name just fuck me" approach we see most of the time on Fab.

There's been some really good posts on this thread. It highlights for me that any couples looking for that elusive unicorn needs to be more mindful of the different needs of that situation. Thx for sharing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are from the other side of the fence, a couple looking for the right female to join us! Have messaged a few now and do not even get a response let alone to the chatting stage! Any advice for a couple like us? We are articulate in our messages, non pushy, and polite, so not sure where we are going wrong?

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"We are from the other side of the fence, a couple looking for the right female to join us! Have messaged a few now and do not even get a response let alone to the chatting stage! Any advice for a couple like us? We are articulate in our messages, non pushy, and polite, so not sure where we are going wrong? "

Your profile says you are looking for men, not women. That won't help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We agree with the above and have seen first hand couples who don't have the right dynamic. We think it's best to meet up somewhere neutral have a drink and a chat and see where it leads.

C&S x"

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I came onto this thread thinking it d be a single male, goes to show every demographic may struggle allbeit for different reasons,

Have fun looking folks

One thing I d add op ... you could have entered the forum wet t shirt avatar contest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile says you are looking for men, not women. That won't help!"

Thanks appropriate adjustments made, fingers crossed.

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

OP, seek out your own couples - do the search and approach - its always the way its worked best for me.

Couples, we are not illusive unicorns, god i hate that... we are real people. The couples I click with both talk to me, and make it clear who chats in messages, are open and treat me like a person, not some additional toy to play with.

Quite often couples fail as they do not send pictures of them both together early on (and I'm not talking action shots) and they don't tell me whats on offer. I've had some great messages and some really offensive ones - be yourselves! And remember it can be bloody scary as a single female to meet an established couple, so go at her pace, and don't get pushy.

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By *indys loverCouple
over a year ago

Stratford on avon

keep on trying because when you find that special person / couple then some fantastic times are to be had

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

Some good advice on here. The first time we met for a private meet we swapped photos, let her know I was bi, as was she, met for a no pressure drink. All chatted and got on well suggested she came back to ours and there we go...

Also agree a club is a good place to make sure you feel comfortable first

Good luck and have fun

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This sums it up perfectly.

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By *an and wifeyCouple
over a year ago

n lincs

Were a no pressure couple looking for some great experiences. Very sociable apparently lol. Would love the chance of a sexy fem for some 3 way fun. Check our profile and and see if we sound like your cup of tea. We are your way on every month for Wakefield social's. Great place to meet up and chat and if no connection then there is always other couples there for you

just an idea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OK here's an honest 1st impression - you've now ticked the box to include women in your search but your profile text still mentions nothing specific to women - or as _adybee77 succinctly put it, you don't tell women what's on offer!

Your profile reads well/you sound nice BUT as a bi woman looking for a couple, I would be wary of a couple whose search appears to be led by the man, whose woman is bi-curious, and whose profile makes no mention of what *she* wants to do.

Bi-curious can mean anything from "gagging to try" to "may stroke a woman to please the husband". If you don't specify where exactly you fit on the spectrum, I will most likely assume the worst (ie. that she is not that interested), since this has been my general experience. I realise this may be specific to me, but that's that for all it's worth.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I came onto this thread thinking it d be a single male, goes to show every demographic may struggle allbeit for different reasons,

Have fun looking folks

One thing I d add op ... you could have entered the forum wet t shirt avatar contest

What's op??!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Were a no pressure couple looking for some great experiences. Very sociable apparently lol. Would love the chance of a sexy fem for some 3 way fun. Check our profile and and see if we sound like your cup of tea. We are your way on every month for Wakefield social's. Great place to meet up and chat and if no connection then there is always other couples there for you

just an idea

Thanks guys, I'm definitely up for the Wakey social on 2 August

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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"I came onto this thread thinking it d be a single male, goes to show every demographic may struggle allbeit for different reasons,

Have fun looking folks

One thing I d add op ... you could have entered the forum wet t shirt avatar contest

What's op??!

OP = original post(er)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have met many love single fems. I enjoy a threesome as much as hubby. I love sharing him, seeing him with another lady is such a turn on. We both enjoy giving and receiving pleasure. A full threesome. We don't go to clubs but chat in the sw room and have met ladies at socials. I think veris are a good guide.

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By *an and wifeyCouple
over a year ago

n lincs

Not booked a hotel yet but we will be there

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