FabSwingers.com forum: Advice about first meets please

By *ailrulez OP Couple
over a year ago

stourbridge

Hi everyone

, were new and totally inexperienced at this but would really like to make our fantasies come true..anyways weve had a fair bit of interest from other couples, swapped pics etc.. but as soon as we say we'd like to meet at a pub or such for a drink first numerous people have gone quiet on us, is this making us appear as timewasters? last thing we want to do is waste peoples time, but i dont think weve got the confidence yet to go straight round someone unknowns house or them come to ours and get into it....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking from personal experience I always like a social meet first over a coffee or glass of wine in a neutral place ie cafe pub. You can relax and discuss likes dislikes with the others involved and if you feel the slightest hesitation you can all walk away.

Don't ever do anything you are not comfortable with and go at your own pace, don't be forced or coerced into anything.

Stick to your own principles.

Good luck and lots and lots of happy swinging in the near future. xxxxxx

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By *ailrulez OP Couple
over a year ago

stourbridge

Thanks Laine, we agree with everything you say, just strange when we tell people were new and nervous, they say they understand but then expect us to get 'straight' into it. We understand a lot of people wont see us as a 'guaranteed' meet...anyway the right peeps are bound to come along at some point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks Laine, we agree with everything you say, just strange when we tell people were new and nervous, they say they understand but then expect us to get 'straight' into it. We understand a lot of people wont see us as a 'guaranteed' meet...anyway the right peeps are bound to come along at some point

A great way to meet people without any pressure to play is to go along to an organised social, check out the forums for one near you. You can arrange to go or meet with a group and most often play meets are a natural progression after making contacts at those!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi everyone

Good for you ! It's not that you lack confidence to walk into a strangers house it's that you possess the intelligence NOT to.

If someone just wants you to nip round .... what kind of person are they?

What is so difficult about meeting somewhere public?

I'd never go straight to someones house EVER.

Stick by your guns. If they wont meet you cos you want half an hour in the pub they are no loss.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We echo all the advice above.

We love social meets, although we have only done a few as most of our meets happen at parties or clubs.

Our absolute rule though, is that we never swing with people we wouldnt want to be friends with, and no matter how quickly we get down to it, there has to be a "connection" before anything happens.

If you are unsure, or nervous (and we still get nervous), then a social meet is the ideal way to ease yourselves into it, and if someone isnt up for that, then there is a good chance you wouldnt want to play with them anyway.

Stick to what you want, and you will have lots more fun than if you jumped into bed with someone and then regretted it after.

And a definate fun night out where you can meet lots of people is a local organised social meet, best way to put names to faces and have a laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been called a 'timewaster' for not wanting to invite someone round to my house...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been called a 'timewaster' for not wanting to invite someone round to my house...

As a single mum too, I agree with you about not inviting anyone for meets at home, you can never be too careful about looking after your family and yourself. 'timewaster' is an often used word thrown at people by others when they don't always get everything their own way!

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By *pecial bbCouple
over a year ago

london

We have done meets at peoples houses and at hotels but find we have great fun at spas and clubs. That way you know if you connect straight away and you are under no pressure to play with people. You might find that playing together in a club next to another couple (soft swing) and then moving on to full swap suits you best. Look in the club tab for clubs near you, and like the other posters say, do what you are comfortable doing and have fun x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been called a 'timewaster' for not wanting to invite someone round to my house...

Me too. Got a message saying 'I can be at yours in 30 mins'. When I politely declined as I wasn't looking for single males. His response was, 'what are you doing on a site like this then if you are not up for it' ???

Am such a timewaster, lol.

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By *ailrulez OP Couple
over a year ago

stourbridge

Wow thanks so much everyone for your replies and messages

youve made us happy and confident were going about it the right way. Its just frustrating, maybe people forget what it was like when they started

looks like we will have to be brave and give chameleons a go

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