FabSwingers.com forum: Met a girl

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi guys, met a lovely girl who is very conservative. Really like her, want to build a relationship. Not sure should I disclose my happy liberal views, mention swinging etc? Mind this might (most prob) will put her off. So should I rather opt not to disclose this now, and carry on. May be tell her about this later? Or not at all :-/ but that would be building a week relationship :-/

help!!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want to continue to play you need to let her know. Swinging is about being open and honest and consent. If you're not telling her you're just a cheat.

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

Relationships are built on trust and honesty, if you haven't got those there's no point. Why go into a relationship with secrecy and lies? Be honest with her, you never know. But if she is worth giving this way of life up for, then do it! Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't swing and not tell her...that's very simply cheating. Either tell her and see what occurs, or not tell her and stop! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Strangely in my experience it is the apparently conservative quiet girls that are the most adventurous.

Given the reassurance that they will not be judged harshly if they do something crazy & kinky they are often very keen.

Just a thought (& not a universal rule)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

All relationships even the most basic have to be built on trust to be successful. You don't say you want to swing with her or even carry on swinging, but you have to be open about who you are or she will be building a relationship with a man who isn't the real you.

I hope it goes well for you both

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By *extoysareusCouple
over a year ago

kinky heaven

Conservatives are the ones with secrets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said be honest about your views and liberal attitude, it's the best course of action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have feelings for her big enough to want to build a relationship, my advice would be to hide/delete your profile here so there is no temptation. Be honest and open but don't tell her all to start, that may scare her off.

Maybe in time you can bring it up but be prepared for her not to like the idea.

Remember this,,,, a good relationship is like a 3 legged stool, each leg is trust,friendship,sex , take one away and the stool falls over.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you have feelings for her big enough to want to build a relationship, my advice would be to hide/delete your profile here so there is no temptation. Be honest and open but don't tell her all to start, that may scare her off.

Maybe in time you can bring it up but be prepared for her not to like the idea.

Remember this,,,, a good relationship is like a 3 legged stool, each leg is trust,friendship,sex , take one away and the stool falls over.

Good luck "

I think that's great advice

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Maybe in time you can bring it up but be prepared for her not to like the idea.

Remember this,,,, a good relationship is like a 3 legged stool, each leg is trust,friendship,sex , take one away and the stool falls over.

Good luck "

. Good advice

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Maybe in time you can bring it up but be prepared for her not to like the idea.

Remember this,,,, a good relationship is like a 3 legged stool, each leg is trust,friendship,sex , take one away and the stool falls over.

Good luck "

Good analogy!

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By *kin BohnerMan
over a year ago

derby

You have to be honest with her and yourself. Chances are she may not share your liking for this lifestyle so the big question is can you change who you are to fit in with her? But who knows she may well be a swinger and not know it yet... your call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi guys, met a lovely girl who is very conservative. Really like her, want to build a relationship. Not sure should I disclose my happy liberal views, mention swinging etc? Mind this might (most prob) will put her off. So should I rather opt not to disclose this now, and carry on. May be tell her about this later? Or not at all :-/ but that would be building a week relationship :-/

help!!?"

gently sound her out, she might have the same views and desires etc, if she doesn't, as much as you like her, are you going to want a 'vanilla' sex life going forward ? All I would say is that I have made the mistake of being to open and honest at the cost of relationships, leading me to believe some secrets should be taken to the grave. If you want to settle down, and think you can, concentrate on her. Its who you are now, not who you was.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP dont be put of by the fact she votes Conservative, we all have our faults, Id be more concerned that you openly state you are a liberal, I would make haste and arrange an appointment with your Doctor, and not a spin doctor.

However neither of the above political persuasions are as bad as Labour, perhaps changing ones political bias completely and vote UKIP may help.

And here endeth a party political broadcast on behalf of the fucked up party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree with most of the previous posts;

if you carry on (& cheat) electing to tell her later you can pretty much guarantee the relationship will end at that point.

Just be honest. You say you are sexually liberal so why pretend to be something else? For her? Because you think she'd want you to be conservative?

We only get a limited number of years to enjoy in this life. Many of us, me included, have let too many pass by before we stop pretending and let ourselves run free.

Some never do and sit on the porch regretting the things they never did.

My advice to everyone is to be true to yourself.

I'd tell her about your lifestyle. If she runs for the hills she isn't for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive just started a relationship with someone, and ive now taken my profile off here and will not meet anyone while im getting to know him. If i never came back to 'swinging' i dont think i would notice a difference in my sex life as what we have is great.

You cant rush a relationship but if you start off by cheating or lying then its never going to last.

You need to work out what you want with this woman and sit down and talk it all through with her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Decide if you REALLY like her.

If you do, then tell her about the swinging and tell her you will stop it IF she doesn't like it.

If you don't (REALLY like her) then don't offer to stop and its her choice to stay or go.

Real relationships are 1000% more important.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone... One thing is common and that is carrying on and not telling is definitely a no no

Stopping here and not telling is a possibility

or better, stopping and telling at a later stage, with prospect to swing together

Or telling up front now and risk, her running for the hills :-/

Thanks everyone for your great feedback, much appreciated

thank you!

I think, I shall stop here and see how things go... if things develop and I feel I can share my past with her I will otherwise might have to take this secret to the grave :-/

and who knows how things develop

thanks again you lovely fabbers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe in time you can bring it up but be prepared for her not to like the idea.

Remember this,,,, a good relationship is like a 3 legged stool, each leg is trust,friendship,sex , take one away and the stool falls over.

Good luck "

Thanks!! That's probably the most sensible way forwards... Thanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Thanks everyone... One thing is common and that is carrying on and not telling is definitely a no no

Stopping here and not telling is a possibility

or better, stopping and telling at a later stage, with prospect to swing together

Or telling up front now and risk, her running for the hills :-/

Thanks everyone for your great feedback, much appreciated

thank you!

I think, I shall stop here and see how things go... if things develop and I feel I can share my past with her I will otherwise might have to take this secret to the grave :-/

and who knows how things develop

thanks again you lovely fabbers"

How would you feel of you discovered she had maintained an active profile on a dating site in six months time? I'm not meaning this in a harsh way but how will you explain your profile to her of she does agree to join you here?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Humm :-/ that's actually a good point... If I am deciding not to tell get just now, probably best to delete profile all together, otherwise it's a different issue all together :-/ even if she's happy to swing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thought you meant someone like Claire Perry, Conservative MP for Devizes?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Thought you meant someone like Claire Perry, Conservative MP for Devizes?

That sounds a bit too perverted for my liking

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

If she likes you as much as you like her, then your past will be taken for what it is, what had made you the person you are now.

The swinging doesn't have to be in your present, but you shouldn't have to hide part of your past from someone you want in your present and future. If you do, I'd question that the relationship has a chance of working.

The best relationships are built in same way all the best buildings are: make the foundations the strongest they can be and anything built upon them will last

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe in time you can bring it up but be prepared for her not to like the idea.

Remember this,,,, a good relationship is like a 3 legged stool, each leg is

trust,friendship,sex , take one away and the stool falls over.

Good luck "

Love it so true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thought you meant someone like Claire Perry, Conservative MP for Devizes?

That sounds a bit too perverted for my liking

Was only an example, was going to be Margaret Thatcher!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why not graphically describe every sexual encounter you have ever had straight away too?

whats that?

that would be wierd?

well, so would telling someone you have only just met about swinging.

why on earth would you?

is this part of life more important than wanting to be with someone you have a real connection with?

many people have said yes, personally, i feel they just havent met 'the one' yet.

and, as has been said, its the quiet ones you need to watch.

she may well suprise you in the months and years to come, and be a dirty wee minx, much more than you could ever imagine.

why destroy a potentially happy relationship for the sake of having sex with random strangers?

it really does make no sense to me at all

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"why not graphically describe every sexual encounter you have ever had straight away too?

whats that?

that would be wierd?

well, so would telling someone you have only just met about swinging.

why on earth would you?

is this part of life more important than wanting to be with someone you have a real connection with?

many people have said yes, personally, i feel they just havent met 'the one' yet.

and, as has been said, its the quiet ones you need to watch.

she may well suprise you in the months and years to come, and be a dirty wee minx, much more than you could ever imagine.

why destroy a potentially happy relationship for the sake of having sex with random strangers?

it really does make no sense to me at all"

Simply: this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its important to define for yourself if you're truly a swinger. Or is it something you did for a while to explore sex but happily would give it up if the right one comes along. And would you be able to be faithful in a relationship? Or would that be hard for you? Also what is the ideal relationship for you? A monogamous one or one in which you would swing with your partner? Be true to yourself and honest but I dont think you've to tell everything straight away. First get your head around what you want from this relationship and if you think you'd miss the swinging. Wishing you all the best!

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Decide what is more important to you swinging or the relationship. If it's the relationship, drop the swinging and don't cheat. If it's swinging, you could always try and introduce her - you never know, but be careful what you wish for as she might get so into some aspect of it that you are not comfortable with - own goal!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your messages and feedback...

I think, I am off now... had a fabulous time on here met some lovley folk, made some good friends.

But now it is time for me to take myself away from here... may be for only a period of time maybe for ever :D

Exciting times ahead...

Wish you all all the best and happy fun times on here. Stay safe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wish you the best of luck! You're doing the right thing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally would've liked to hear whether you told your new gf about fab or not and if you did how she responded. Guess we'll never know.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i would imagine he hasnt, and has decided whilst this new chapter of his life is opening up, this is a side of things he wants to leave behind, for now at least, and focus on making a go of it with this new woman.

fair play to him.

if only all were so brave and decisive.

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Met a girl - very conservative