FabSwingers.com forum: profile advice giving...... can we come to some sort of general agreement

By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

we get a million and one threads asking about profile advice....

and lots of people will say "change this and change that"

can we at some point promote individuality... as we know when they change it it tends to become a generic mish mash!!

also how about not giving out specifics.. as there are certain things that are in profiles "red flags" for some, but when they are mentioned obviously people take them out and the people who follow are then none the wiser

for example... i say "basic common sense"... and for me, if you can't work out the rest, no amount of advice is going to help....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bless em but some people are hopeless at this profile writing lark.. but perhaps a basic instructive template for them would help get their thoughts down ? something asking questions they may not be able to think of when trying to get it together. Just an idea .. as there are so many asking for advice. Mind you, some are just cheekily trying to "up" their _iews.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"we get a million and one threads asking about profile advice....

and lots of people will say "change this and change that"

can we at some point promote individuality... as we know when they change it it tends to become a generic mish mash!!

for example... i say "basic common sense"... and for me, if you can't work out the rest, no amount of advice is going to help...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we get a million and one threads asking about profile advice....

and lots of people will say "change this and change that"

can we at some point promote individuality... as we know when they change it it tends to become a generic mish mash!!

for example... i say "basic common sense"... and for me, if you can't work out the rest, no amount of advice is going to help...."

So the requester should be encouraged to be individualistic, but those giving advice should attempt to avoid individual comments? Double standards surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about one piece of generic advice?

I'll go for "If you're having to ask how to write an informative profile about yourself or whether your pics are any good, then you've already failed and should just leave".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about one piece of generic advice?

I'll go for "If you're having to ask how to write an informative profile about yourself or whether your pics are any good, then you've already failed and should just leave".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about one piece of generic advice?

I'll go for "If you're having to ask how to write an informative profile about yourself or whether your pics are any good, then you've already failed and should just leave".

I don't think we should give people profile advice.... for this reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about one piece of generic advice?

I'll go for "If you're having to ask how to write an informative profile about yourself or whether your pics are any good, then you've already failed and should just leave".

looking at other profiles and working it out for yourself is hardly rocket science is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine would do my lecturer proud. It's like i'm writing another dissertation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've noticed on the last couple the op hasn't really changed a thing so don't really see the point in asking advice in the first place. Nice to see some take on board the advice given though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine is staying as is due top advice from the forumites.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

"How about one piece of generic advice?

I'll go for "If you're having to ask how to write an informative profile about yourself or whether your pics are any good, then you've already failed and should just leave".

looking at other profiles and working it out for yourself is hardly rocket science is it?"

And Or reading the advice threads,,,, There must be enough advice on the threads in the archives which if searched would outweigh the encyclopedia brittanica, read interpret and implement the generic advice given,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came on and asked once....and got some very sound advice and with the help of my peers have grown and developed into what I hope is someone who gets on in here and has made friends....I think _abio is right in the sense people shouldnt have their hands held and told what and what not to put in their profiles but at the same time, I was a newbie once and think a couple of pointers and some sound advice isn't necessarily a bad thing to give to the up and comers.....its a fine line between doing things for people and helping them help themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many that ask actually take the advice,I believe,and I may be wrong,buts it's more a "look at me" plea

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

my pearl of wisdom is 'if you can't get a shag on a swingers site, cause it ain't fucking rocket science'...

god help ya.

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"we get a million and one threads asking about profile advice....

and lots of people will say "change this and change that"

can we at some point promote individuality... as we know when they change it it tends to become a generic mish mash!!

for example... i say "basic common sense"... and for me, if you can't work out the rest, no amount of advice is going to help...."

It's for this exact reason that we don't list all our likes and wants from a meet on our profile, as we think it would tempt people to alter themselves to suit when messaging us, if that makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many that ask actually take the advice,I believe,and I may be wrong,buts it's more a "look at me" plea"

I would agree that a lot don't seem to take the advice....some seem to though....its a bit of a split between those who actually want a helping hand and humbly take advice and those who seem to take offence at having their profile 'critisized'

Hard to tell what type a person might be untill the thread gets rolling.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we get a million and one threads asking about profile advice....

and lots of people will say "change this and change that"

can we at some point promote individuality... as we know when they change it it tends to become a generic mish mash!!

for example... i say "basic common sense"... and for me, if you can't work out the rest, no amount of advice is going to help....

It's for this exact reason that we don't list all our likes and wants from a meet on our profile, as we think it would tempt people to alter themselves to suit when messaging us, if that makes sense

I do the same. In fact I don't think I actually say anything about me on mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many that ask actually take the advice,I believe,and I may be wrong,buts it's more a "look at me" plea

Hard to tell what type a person might be untill the thread gets rolling........."

No offence was meant by my post,but this type of post is a daily occurrence so it's not difficult to find advice given to others,which leads me to believe most(not all) are a look at me post.

But then finding a subject on the forums that hasn't been thrashed to death is like a breath of fresh air

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's already done. Admin set it up in the "tips for getting started" bit. Shame so many people don't or can't read this advice....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh wise Fabio x youre running up a greased pole with this one x

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Can I still sing my George Formby song?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many that ask actually take the advice,I believe,and I may be wrong,buts it's more a "look at me" plea

Hard to tell what type a person might be untill the thread gets rolling.........

No offence was meant by my post,but this type of post is a daily occurrence so it's not difficult to find advice given to others,which leads me to believe most(not all) are a look at me post.

But then finding a subject on the forums that hasn't been thrashed to death is like a breath of fresh air

No offence was taken.....not by me anyhow

And I do know exactly what you mean like.....

I do suppose when newbies come into the forums then they don't know what subjects have gone before and don't necessarily know how to use all the forum tools such as the forum search.....it took me a wee bit to find my feet..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes,i apologise to newbies,but you see some been here many months looking "advice"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes,i apologise to newbies,but you see some been here many months looking "advice""

True.....there was a dude who'd been on five years looking for advice as he'd never got a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, just wading in without reading...

It's all kind of subjective anyway, I screw my face up a little with some of the advice given but never comment as I don't really see myself as being qualified (and I'd rather not disclose secrets, muhahaha).

Sticky threads would help this we just the basic/general advice and then people can be directed there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely a profile is a reflection of a person or couple, and their personality and gives a idea of the person behind it if its written by template or on the advice of other surely it then ceases to be so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we get a million and one threads asking about profile advice....

and lots of people will say "change this and change that"

can we at some point promote individuality... as we know when they change it it tends to become a generic mish mash!!

for example... i say "basic common sense"... and for me, if you can't work out the rest, no amount of advice is going to help....

It's for this exact reason that we don't list all our likes and wants from a meet on our profile, as we think it would tempt people to alter themselves to suit when messaging us, if that makes sense

People do change their profile to try and match what you want, but if I have already seen the profile I ignore any changes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Surely a profile is a reflection of a person or couple, and their personality and gives a idea of the person behind it if its written by template or on the advice of other surely it then ceases to be so."

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By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

this was always my arguement....

there are 2 main thinks I hate.... the fact they change a profile to because a bland generic mish mash of what they think people want to hear....

and the "deception by omission"... where people said they were married.. and then took it out, or where people hard bareback pics.. and then took them off... based of what others have said.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We hate 'profiles written by forum consensus' but in all honesty it is never going to stop.

People will put what they think others want to hear.

The forums will always spew the same advice, hide this, hide that, say this, say that.

I dont even respond to any of them anymore. Actually I dont even read them.

Whether it is done openly on the forums or in pm. Just avoid the 'consensus profiles' we do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this was always my arguement....

there are 2 main thinks I hate.... the fact they change a profile to because a bland generic mish mash of what they think people want to hear....

and the "deception by omission"... where people said they were married.. and then took it out, or where people hard bareback pics.. and then took them off... based of what others have said....... "

our profile is our profile granted it's not the best nor is it the worst. it will appeal to some and not to others it will In fact deter some. we could remove some pics and remove any bdsm and fetish content which will then attract people who don't like it but we then may not get contact from those that do. we would much prefer to be true to ourselves and suffer the consequences than to sell out as such and try to appeal to everyone, at Least that way when we do meet there is a good chance of compatibility and we are what we say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women, if you want to be popular add anal to your profile, it attracts straight men.

Men, take anal off your profile, it attracts "straight" men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I do fully agree with the theme behind this, I do think a profile top tips in FAQ or as a sticky in the forums would help. Something general and helpful.

1. Make your pictures varied and don't display too many of the same thing.

2. Minimise the use of text speak and acronyms.

3. Run it through a spell checker.

4. Make it individual, it's your shop window and how you attract people in here.

It's generic but covers the main points?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst I do fully agree with the theme behind this, I do think a profile top tips in FAQ or as a sticky in the forums would help. Something general and helpful.

1. Make your pictures varied and don't display too many of the same thing.

2. Minimise the use of text speak and acronyms.

3. Run it through a spell checker.

4. Make it individual, it's your shop window and how you attract people in here.

It's generic but covers the main points?"

5. Use the filters the site has to offer, they are extensive & varied. Giving you the ability to only be contacted by the people you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst I do fully agree with the theme behind this, I do think a profile top tips in FAQ or as a sticky in the forums would help. Something general and helpful.

1. Make your pictures varied and don't display too many of the same thing.

2. Minimise the use of text speak and acronyms.

3. Run it through a spell checker.

4. Make it individual, it's your shop window and how you attract people in here.

It's generic but covers the main points?

5. Use the filters the site has to offer, they are extensive & varied. Giving you the ability to only be contacted by the people you want.

6, respect what others put on their profile, and do not send a pm if you are clearly outside what they are looking for (age/location/gender/sexual orientation/etc)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It strikes me that many requests for help produce no change in the profile because the OP is unable to rationally look at what they have to offer from the readers point of _iew, and write it up accordingly.

If you are not relaxed with the written word, no amount of coaching will help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I don't think the profile is the be and end all; for some maybe but I have seen single male profiles with anything ranging from 'fill this in later' to a few lines and no photos yet they have a long list of verification's and not club meets either. So for some a profile maybe incredibly important, and I for one would wonder about contacting someone who has so little on a profile, yet what are these guys doing that gets them meets? Maybe its the fact that they go about their daily business without moaning and whining on the forums and have lots of patience and I would love to know what they put in their messages that gets them meets as that is what it must boil down to and maybe word of mouth

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