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ok ladys,, what do you want to read in a 1st message

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So lady's what do you look for that makes a man stand out from all the messages is it what's said or is it the photo's,, I seem to get little reply I hope its not that I'm pug ugly more just my inability to make the connection,, please give me a little insight into a woman's view, thank you for reading, I look forward to reading your posts, x

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By *eard-lincolnMan
over a year ago

near lincoln

Never message a lady first unless its to send a quick compliment on how great their boobs look. If they want you they will find you. Just make sure you update ur status every day and add new photos regularly that aren't cock shots.

Be patient they will cum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know you're looking for ladies to reply,. But from straight man to man, ditch the top picture...honestly the lighting and the pic of the woods behind does nothing...its a very harsh pic and people will go by that...try another one..I'm sure that one isn't the best representation, or hold pics back...until you start a chat...best of luck pal, you seem a genuine guy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you, & good advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know you're looking for ladies to reply,. But from straight man to man, ditch the top picture...honestly the lighting and the pic of the woods behind does nothing...its a very harsh pic and people will go by that...try another one..I'm sure that one isn't the best representation, or hold pics back...until you start a chat...best of luck pal, you seem a genuine guy "

Yep what he said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not all women will approach first, i rarely do.

the first message should let me know what about me you liked and why you are compatible with me. no one line messages, but not war and peace or something that looks like it's a copy and paste thing, either. we single girls get tons of messages though so don't lose heart when many don't respond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mind what someone messages but what gets me hooked is when personality comes across in the writing. If someone makes me laugh all the better.

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"not all women will approach first, i rarely do.

the first message should let me know what about me you liked and why you are compatible with me. no one line messages, but not war and peace or something that looks like it's a copy and paste thing, either. we single girls get tons of messages though so don't lose heart when many don't respond. "

Please, do not compare a single female profile with a single male profile. You have no pics yet get "tons of messages" and can pick and choose from the sincere blokes who tell you how wonderful you are based on your profile text alone.

A single guy on here if he doesn't have the banter, look like an Adonis or frequents clubs will struggle to get interest, never mind an actual meet.

A single female on here only needs to be female to get meets. She needs no profile pic, minimal profile text, no personality. She just needs to be willing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never message a lady first unless its to send a quick compliment on how great their boobs look. If they want you they will find you. Just make sure you update ur status every day and add new photos regularly that aren't cock shots.

Be patient they will cum"

ive never seached or messaged for men....

first message. face pic. reason why they messaged. what they are looking for etc

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By *eard-lincolnMan
over a year ago

near lincoln


"Never message a lady first unless its to send a quick compliment on how great their boobs look. If they want you they will find you. Just make sure you update ur status every day and add new photos regularly that aren't cock shots.

Be patient they will cum

ive never seached or messaged for men....

first message. face pic. reason why they messaged. what they are looking for etc"

Really... It's working pretty well for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"not all women will approach first, i rarely do.

the first message should let me know what about me you liked and why you are compatible with me. no one line messages, but not war and peace or something that looks like it's a copy and paste thing, either. we single girls get tons of messages though so don't lose heart when many don't respond.

Please, do not compare a single female profile with a single male profile. You have no pics yet get "tons of messages" and can pick and choose from the sincere blokes who tell you how wonderful you are based on your profile text alone.

A single guy on here if he doesn't have the banter, look like an Adonis or frequents clubs will struggle to get interest, never mind an actual meet.

A single female on here only needs to be female to get meets. She needs no profile pic, minimal profile text, no personality. She just needs to be willing."

So, so true. My single profile (not on here) had 83 messages within about 20 minutes and there were no pics. Once the pics went up I thought my PC might explode. Not bigging myself up, just a numbers game.

I never forget that nobody is that special!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"not all women will approach first, i rarely do.

the first message should let me know what about me you liked and why you are compatible with me. no one line messages, but not war and peace or something that looks like it's a copy and paste thing, either. we single girls get tons of messages though so don't lose heart when many don't respond.

Please, do not compare a single female profile with a single male profile. You have no pics yet get "tons of messages" and can pick and choose from the sincere blokes who tell you how wonderful you are based on your profile text alone.

A single guy on here if he doesn't have the banter, look like an Adonis or frequents clubs will struggle to get interest, never mind an actual meet.

A single female on here only needs to be female to get meets. She needs no profile pic, minimal profile text, no personality. She just needs to be willing."

Perfectly stated and expressed

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"

So, so true. My single profile (not on here) had 83 messages within about 20 minutes and there were no pics. Once the pics went up I thought my PC might explode. Not bigging myself up, just a numbers game.

I never forget that nobody is that special!!"

Your last sentence shows that for this site you are special. And a realist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I know you're looking for ladies to reply,. But from straight man to man, ditch the top picture...honestly the lighting and the pic of the woods behind does nothing...its a very harsh pic and people will go by that...try another one..I'm sure that one isn't the best representation, or hold pics back...until you start a chat...best of luck pal, you seem a genuine guy "

Agree, third pic is lovely, you look handsome. First one a tad stark.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had a few silly messages but I've had more good than silly. Had a good one today actually

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Well put sir

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By *ivWoman
over a year ago

Carmarthen

Demonstrate in the msg that you have actually read my profile, comment on it/or my pics. Dont send me a cock pic ever, but have one in privates on your profile.

Come across as confident but down to earth. nothing too long winded. no cut n paste erotic stories!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"not all women will approach first, i rarely do.

the first message should let me know what about me you liked and why you are compatible with me. no one line messages, but not war and peace or something that looks like it's a copy and paste thing, either. we single girls get tons of messages though so don't lose heart when many don't respond. "

See I don't agree with this (sorry fella this might not help you!)

I personally do message men and when I do I'm looking for the click. I don't need to be told why im liked, or provided with reasons why we're compatible, a read through a mans profile can help you glean a lot about that. (you know that thing we always moan about men not doing)

Is it flattery we're seeking from the level of interest or is it a tangible connection?

Also I once got a one line message so amusing that I knew there was something there. A one-liner worked with me, twice. As did a conversation that started 'hi, how are you?'

We should never forget how harsh this place is for guys too and the best advice I could give to a fella is try to let your character shine when you write and in your profile, have a couple of decent images and go with your gut.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"So lady's what do you look for that makes a man stand out from all the messages is it what's said or is it the photo's,, I seem to get little reply I hope its not that I'm pug ugly more just my inability to make the connection,, please give me a little insight into a woman's view, thank you for reading, I look forward to reading your posts, x "

Can be both or either. Few can really engage with their first message it has to be said, it is difficult, so I would say most of the time it is just a few lines to say hi and bring your profile to her attention. Then it is down to the pics. You need more pics! I would personally tidy up the grammar on your profile too.

And I am another female who virtually never searches or messages first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Spot on

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By *eard-lincolnMan
over a year ago

near lincoln


"not all women will approach first, i rarely do.

the first message should let me know what about me you liked and why you are compatible with me. no one line messages, but not war and peace or something that looks like it's a copy and paste thing, either. we single girls get tons of messages though so don't lose heart when many don't respond.

See I don't agree with this (sorry fella this might not help you!)

I personally do message men and when I do I'm looking for the click. I don't need to be told why im liked, or provided with reasons why we're compatible, a read through a mans profile can help you glean a lot about that. (you know that thing we always moan about men not doing)

Is it flattery we're seeking from the level of interest or is it a tangible connection?

Also I once got a one line message so amusing that I knew there was something there. A one-liner worked with me, twice. As did a conversation that started 'hi, how are you?'

We should never forget how harsh this place is for guys too and the best advice I could give to a fella is try to let your character shine when you write and in your profile, have a couple of decent images and go with your gut."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st"

Why does it have to be up to the guy? If I have the hots for someone I'm happy to make the move. And im just as comfortable with being knocked back.

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By *eard-lincolnMan
over a year ago

near lincoln


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st"

They do. And not bragging my inbox is full of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a swinging site not a dating site people come on here to have sexual fun. I don't understand if someone write a short or long message as long you breaking the ice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read the profile first before the message, so someone who can be bothered to actually write a decent profile is a good start.

First message; I look for people, again, who can actually be bothered to write something. If they can't be arsed to write a decent message or profile then what's the sex going to be like!

It helps if I know you've read my profile and understand what I'm looking for. I'm not looking for compliments either, just honesty. Oh, and I do message male profiles if they catch my eye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have thought that "Hi, I have a yacht, a Porsch and a Million pounds in the bank" would work for most women....lol

That was a joke ladies, before you all start throwing knives in my direction!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always read the profile first before the message, so someone who can be bothered to actually write a decent profile is a good start.

First message; I look for people, again, who can actually be bothered to write something. If they can't be arsed to write a decent message or profile then what's the sex going to be like!

It helps if I know you've read my profile and understand what I'm looking for. I'm not looking for compliments either, just honesty. Oh, and I do message male profiles if they catch my eye. "

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st"

That's your personal experience. I haven't initiated contact with anyone for five months and yet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Next weeks lottery numbers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

Why does it have to be up to the guy? If I have the hots for someone I'm happy to make the move. And im just as comfortable with being knocked back."

I am also someone who makes the initial contact, if a profile attracts me, so it does happen. It doesn't always go my way, just the same as for single guys that send first messages. But, as my profile is deliberately sparse, I put a lot of thought and detail into my initial contact.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Some interesting points,, but it does seem its all a mix bag of sweets on here,, a real lucky dip,, thanks for your Post's,,

Keep smiling x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some interesting points,, but it does seem its all a mix bag of sweets on here,, a real lucky dip,, thanks for your Post's,,

Keep smiling x"

Best of luck , you're a very good looking chap, sure you'll get on fine.

xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

That's your personal experience. I haven't initiated contact with anyone for five months and yet..."

Yep!

When I was meeting as a single I rarely sent first messages. Most of my meets came via the inbox - often off the back of forum posts or club visits.

Women often send as many messages as guys. But in my experience more of them knew to engage in decent conversation before diving in with 'so when can we meet?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/03/14 20:45:16]

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

a "when can we meet" email? what's one of those?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

That's your personal experience. I haven't initiated contact with anyone for five months and yet...

Yep!

When I was meeting as a single I rarely sent first messages. Most of my meets came via the inbox - often off the back of forum posts or club visits.

Women often send as many messages as guys. But in my experience more of them knew to engage in decent conversation before diving in with 'so when can we meet?' "

Fabulous profile and very inventive pics.

No wonder you generate interest really.

Been ogling and fabbing all over you.

Mrs D.

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

They do. And not bragging my inbox is full of them. "

There must be something special about you then. I'm not being cheeky, just stating a fact. Because if I didn't send out initial messages I can hand on heart say I'd have had about 5 messages in the two & a bit years I've been on here.

I've had 2 first contact messages come my way this year, one from a bi guy offering to suck me off, one from a woman who liked a forum post of mine. Everyone will be different, but in my personal experience as a single guy I need to send out messages to get messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never message a lady first unless its to send a quick compliment on how great their boobs look. If they want you they will find you. Just make sure you update ur status every day and add new photos regularly that aren't cock shots.

Be patient they will cum"

Ha - says man that messaged me first lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never message a lady first unless its to send a quick compliment on how great their boobs look. If they want you they will find you. Just make sure you update ur status every day and add new photos regularly that aren't cock shots.

Be patient they will cum

Ha - says man that messaged me first lol"

But you have got great boobs. lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

That's your personal experience. I haven't initiated contact with anyone for five months and yet...

Yep!

When I was meeting as a single I rarely sent first messages. Most of my meets came via the inbox - often off the back of forum posts or club visits.

Women often send as many messages as guys. But in my experience more of them knew to engage in decent conversation before diving in with 'so when can we meet?'

Fabulous profile and very inventive pics.

No wonder you generate interest really.

Been ogling and fabbing all over you.

Mrs D."

Thanks. as I've always said to anyone asking advice in threads - effort in = effort out.

But there's plenty of guys out there enjoying themselves just as much as I did. There's no magic formula - just being yourself usually works!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never message a lady first unless its to send a quick compliment on how great their boobs look. If they want you they will find you. Just make sure you update ur status every day and add new photos regularly that aren't cock shots.

Be patient they will cum

Ha - says man that messaged me first lol

But you have got great boobs. lol."

Why Ty lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi OP

Like some, not all, women I read a profile before I read a message from the sender, a profile which shows the writer's personality and hopefully a sense of humour makes me more likely to read that message ahead of others as I like to "connect" with the people I chat to and/or meet.

For women who do the same I can't help but wonder whether the opening line of your profile might be a little off putting for some, we are not all so egocentric that we consider ourselves beautiful so if you mean that literally it might deter some from replying to messages, not a criticism just an observation.

Good luck and keep at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't mind what someone messages but what gets me hooked is when personality comes across in the writing. If someone makes me laugh all the better."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

Why does it have to be up to the guy? If I have the hots for someone I'm happy to make the move. And im just as comfortable with being knocked back.

I am also someone who makes the initial contact, if a profile attracts me, so it does happen. It doesn't always go my way, just the same as for single guys that send first messages. But, as my profile is deliberately sparse, I put a lot of thought and detail into my initial contact."

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By *portyndNaughtyMan
over a year ago

Nearby Hinckley


"not all women will approach first, i rarely do.

the first message should let me know what about me you liked and why you are compatible with me. no one line messages, but not war and peace or something that looks like it's a copy and paste thing, either. we single girls get tons of messages though so don't lose heart when many don't respond.

Please, do not compare a single female profile with a single male profile. You have no pics yet get "tons of messages" and can pick and choose from the sincere blokes who tell you how wonderful you are based on your profile text alone.

A single guy on here if he doesn't have the banter, look like an Adonis or frequents clubs will struggle to get interest, never mind an actual meet.

A single female on here only needs to be female to get meets. She needs no profile pic, minimal profile text, no personality. She just needs to be willing."

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"Women dont send messages its up to guys to send 1st. never had a message from a fm on here only if if contacted then 1st

That's your personal experience. I haven't initiated contact with anyone for five months and yet...

Yep!

When I was meeting as a single I rarely sent first messages. Most of my meets came via the inbox - often off the back of forum posts or club visits.

Women often send as many messages as guys. But in my experience more of them knew to engage in decent conversation before diving in with 'so when can we meet?' "

Tart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to send loads every days didn't get responses, I was told to chill out and it's actyally working, not got meets yet but chatting to really nice people and it's all from chatting on the forums. Give it time.

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