FabSwingers.com forum: Couples playing separately

By *aughty monkey31 OP Man
over a year ago

Walsall

Just looking for advice really. Wife likes the idea of us playing separately but I'm not 100% convinced by the idea. Any couples out there that play separately had problems when they started playing separately?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We don't play separately but I would say if you're using the words convinced and not 100% you should be saying no and your wife should respect that.

There are plenty of couples for who it's a big success and just as many for who it brings out insecurities and resentment. Be very sure it's what you both want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we play separately, but we always meet who we intend to play with as a couple, and is there is any doubts from either of us we wont do it, more as a security thing for the females

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I have to ask, why have you got a single profile & a couples one if you aren't sure?

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By *aughty monkey31 OP Man
over a year ago

Walsall

Yeah my wife has met single guys separately but only socially and in a public place. I think you do have to be care when you're a single female meeting strangers off the internet.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Your veris appear to be from meets on your own already...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I think that as you are not convinced nor 100% certain, then don't do it. Also, single women get more offers to meet than a single guy, would that start to cause jealousy to raise its ugly head? xx

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By *aughty monkey31 OP Man
over a year ago

Walsall

"I have to ask, why have you got a single profile & a couples one if you aren't sure?"

Tbh wife had the idea of me having single profile to boost my confidence and she wanted to try it as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we have that so we can both go into chatrooms

we thought it made more sense to have the single fem profile than male one, as I play more alone than him

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By *aughty monkey31 OP Man
over a year ago

Walsall

"Personally I think that as you are not convinced nor 100% certain, then don't do it. Also, single women get more offers to meet than a single guy, would that start to cause jealousy to raise its ugly head? xx"

Yeah coming from a couples profile it has been an eye opener, can see why single guys get so frustrated as it very difficult just to strike up a conversation with a single female or couple.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I have to ask, why have you got a single profile & a couples one if you aren't sure?

Tbh wife had the idea of me having single profile to boost my confidence and she wanted to try it as well. "

I see, do you find that your confidence is being boosted? I don't know how your relationships works but truly if you don't want either of you to meet alone you must say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we both play sepretartly we find s long as u tell each other who it is with and wewre u are goiung and keep in contact within the evening we do like to say what we did when we have sex afterwards must say it a big turn on for us

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By *aughty monkey31 OP Man
over a year ago

Walsall

"we both play sepretartly we find s long as u tell each other who it is with and wewre u are goiung and keep in contact within the evening we do like to say what we did when we have sex afterwards must say it a big turn on for us "

I think my wife likes the idea of me going with another woman and then telling her all about afterwards, finds it a real turn on.

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By *aughty monkey31 OP Man
over a year ago

Walsall

"I have to ask, why have you got a single profile & a couples one if you aren't sure?

Tbh wife had the idea of me having single profile to boost my confidence and she wanted to try it as well.

I see, do you find that your confidence is being boosted? I don't know how your relationships works but truly if you don't want either of you to meet alone you must say."

Would say it was but not at the moment, alot of my messages get deleted so abit disheartening. Didn't think I was that bad looking lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my wife likes the idea of me going with another woman and then telling her all about afterwards, finds it a real turn on. "

You mention what your wife wants almost exclusively...do you know what you want? This hobby for couples can be a minefield for relationships unless you're both 100% sure about stuff and have frank and open communication between you about how things make you feel without getting defensive or having recriminations...a threshold, once crossed can never be uncrossed...be very sure about what you both want and feel...

Separate room is not for us for many reasons and yes, we have tried it but those who it appears to work for for both partners seem to have very solid relationships and have their boundaries sorted...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

very well said, x

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By *hell and jWoman
over a year ago

Worksop

I have just had full permission of hubby to meet alonex xif I like and feel relaxed with the guy I will play x but hubby like pics too big turn on for him andme also x x but must say social meet Iis not green light to get Iin my pants x x and the lads I have meet hubby has met and I allwaystell him x x 100 %

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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago

Dublin and London

"I have just had full permission of hubby to meet alonex xif I like and feel relaxed with the guy I will play x but hubby like pics too big turn on for him andme also x x but must say social meet Iis not green light to get Iin my pants x x and the lads I have meet hubby has met and I allwaystell him x x 100 %"
Open and honest communication is key to all this. Also the social meet tell you if the attraction is there. J x

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

I've met on my own as a single for a while now. It's something that evolved and what we both want, but even so, it can still open things up in a relationship that you weren't prepared for.

Unless everyone is 100% then it is a recipe for disaster & truthful & open communication is the only way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funnily enough I (the female) met a guy alone for the first time last night !

We were both on and off with the idea so arranged a social meet. This way if it didnt feel right at the time it was a drink so didnt matter !

My hubbie was so turned on within minutes of me leaving the house lol so it became more than a social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a few times in the past.was fun telling each other what we been up to

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I have to ask, why have you got a single profile & a couples one if you aren't sure?

Tbh wife had the idea of me having single profile to boost my confidence and she wanted to try it as well.

I see, do you find that your confidence is being boosted? I don't know how your relationships works but truly if you don't want either of you to meet alone you must say.

Would say it was but not at the moment, alot of my messages get deleted so abit disheartening. Didn't think I was that bad looking lol"

I'll be completely honest with you I can't decide of this is a thread to get people to look at your profile which is no bad thing in itself, you're unsure and seeking reassurance or you really don't want to do it and you're looking for reasons not to play separately. Someone mentioned that this seems to be about what your wife wants rather than what you want, if that is the case I suggest that it is her you should be discussing your doubts with. I haven't seen you say anywhere that the thought of playing alone does anything for you and you don't mention how the thought of your wife playing alone makes you feel.

We go through this with one foot hovering over the brake at all

times it's better to stop if you aren't sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have to ask, why have you got a single profile & a couples one if you aren't sure?

Tbh wife had the idea of me having single profile to boost my confidence and she wanted to try it as well.

I see, do you find that your confidence is being boosted? I don't know how your relationships works but truly if you don't want either of you to meet alone you must say.

Would say it was but not at the moment, alot of my messages get deleted so abit disheartening. Didn't think I was that bad looking lol

We go through this with one foot hovering over the brake at all times it's better to stop if you aren't sure."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we would play in separate rooms with couples we have built up a good level of trust with

not on a first meet

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Try what we did, I told Sugar I fancied a girl at work and started texting her one day to say this girl was coming onto me and wanted to go for lunch.

It was a summers day and I text home to say she had been sat outside opposite me flashing me and giving me the come on and wanted to meet after work.

Sugar said go for it, I did and text her after work saying we were in the pub and she wanted me to follow her into the ladies, again Sugar said go for it.

I text her on way home say say we'd had a play in there - not full sex and when I got home she couldn't keep her hands off me.

She was gutted when I confessed I'd made the whole day up, although we did have pub lunch together lol, but at least we both knew it was something to try for real in the future!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have an open marriage so we play together and seperatly. My wife is shy so she prefers to play seperatly. We have a great marriage and we both make each other feel loved. So we have no jelousy issues or resentment. I hope this helps

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I can imagine a scenario whereby a couple meet a couple socially, meet again at their house and have drinks in the sittingroom, then they swap partners in different rooms. Nothing wrong with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As far as I'm concerned we are are a couple and meet as a couple and I whouldnt do the meet separately thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet alone, as I am looking for something that would not work for us to do together.

My husband does not meet alone as he has no desire to do so.

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By *ompip3Couple
over a year ago

Paisley

"I can imagine a scenario whereby a couple meet a couple socially, meet again at their house and have drinks in the sittingroom, then they swap partners in different rooms. Nothing wrong with that. "

We've done this with separate hotel rooms, both couples play all together in one room, then after a while Pip will go back to our room with the other guy, and we have some separate time with the other halves....It works for us, but we haven't progressed to individuals going out on a meet on their own. dont think we will because for us the fun is in doing it together...even if we are in different rooms for part of the night.

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By *sf1200nCouple
over a year ago

Winslow

I understand this totally. Mrs GSF1200n really wants to play separately but we have agreed that as I am not comfortable about it she will not.

I want to be able to say go for it ( and got 95% of the way there once but asked her to not go through with it in the end)

The strange thing is that this only applies to guys. If she plays alone with women ( which she had done a many an occasion) I have no issue.

I can't explain why - it's just me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me and Dee do meet seperate and alone but always in agreement with each other as I have to know my Princess is safe. We have agreed boundaries and stick to them for any meet alone or together and so have never had a problem. We both know if one if us wants to stop solo meet then we only have to say and we will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've discussed at length the idea of me meeting alone.

MissD isn't as yet comfortable with it so we haven't gone through with it but the idea does turn her on massively.

Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.

Silk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Me and Dee do meet seperate and alone but always in agreement with each other as I have to know my Princess is safe. We have agreed boundaries and stick to them for any meet alone or together and so have never had a problem. We both know if one if us wants to stop solo meet then we only have to say and we will"

may want to change point 1 on your profile then

lol

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

"We have an open marriage so we play together and seperatly. My wife is shy so she prefers to play seperatly. We have a great marriage and we both make each other feel loved. So we have no jelousy issues or resentment. I hope this helps"

We are the same. It is great.

Steve

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By *eendeeCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

Both of us have met alone and mr dee as a fuck buddy who he meets every now and then but must add we only meet alone with people we both know and have met together and maybe in some cases we have played with. We find it a turn on talking bout what we did and also a turn on talking about what we would like to do, mrs dee loves mr dee to play alone but mrs dee isn't really to bothered bout playing alone unless it's someone she likes as a person physically and sexually so at end of the day you both need to want this and need to be secure mentally with it, as you will have gathered we love it xxx

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