FabSwingers.com forum: sexless marrage

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

any idears other than devorse ps i know i cant spell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"any idears other than devorse ps i know i cant spell"

talking about it. Its first step.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i can try she isnt bothered and knows im on here. but wont devorce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if she won't talk, leave you or put out and she knows your on here, I say crack on lad fill ya boots

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

The fact that she won't agree to a divorce doesn't mean you can't divorce her. It just takes longer.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

fair comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just divorce her ffs, it's not that difficult to sign a few pieces of paper to declare you're legally single again

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

If you get on together and the only problem is sex together. Why not have an open relationship. I dont know how long youve been married or what your issues are. Communication or lack of is the key or ruination of most relationships. Why not ask her if she'd like to swing or join in with you,it may add back a spark and get you back together or drive you apart. Talk to her but also listen to her too.

You must have had something at one time to have got married in the first instance. Has she always had a low sex drive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just divorce her ffs, it's not that difficult to sign a few pieces of paper to declare you're legally single again"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you get on together and the only problem is sex together. Why not have an open relationship. I dont know how long youve been married or what your issues are. Communication or lack of is the key or ruination of most relationships. Why not ask her if she'd like to swing or join in with you,it may add back a spark and get you back together or drive you apart. Talk to her but also listen to her too.

You must have had something at one time to have got married in the first instance. Has she always had a low sex drive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try and find out where the problems are cos there will be some somewhere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Question then OP. Other than no sex are you happy in your marriage ? Do you love your wife ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes"

Then why would you want to divorce her !

Sex isn't everything. If you can satisfy that missing bit elsewhere - ideally with her blessing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its not a proper marriage if you dont have sex. you are just friends.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thats y im on here

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"i can try she isnt bothered and knows im on here. but wont devorce"

You can still divorce her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are being selfish, even if she knows you're on here doesn't make it ok. I would still go through with the divorce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think its fair to immediately say divorce her if the OP is not having a fulfilled sex life with his wife and has turned to this site for sexual fulfilment. Nobody knows his relationship or his commitments re family life. I would say to the OP, that it's not all just about sex. It is indeed an extremely important part of a relationship and if there are problems there then before you throw the towel in try every avenue to resolve the issue. I'm sure it's not always been that way, so if not why did it change. Why does your partner not have any interest sexually. That there may well be an underlying issue, health, menopause, bad experience, no enjoyment is she self conscious. It may be linked to you how you are. The point I'm trying to make is simply will you get complete fulfillment by being with others when you could have a lifetime of love and wonderful enjoyment with your wife who you love and care for. She may well really need your help in why she feels as she does and by believing that it's just a sexual issue with her might just be premature in your thinking. I hope you manage to resolve it.

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"You are being selfish, even if she knows you're on here doesn't make it ok. I would still go through with the divorce"

No it isn't selfish at all. That is what is so wrong wiyh society today. Instead of fixing something they just replace it. Instead this gives OP what he needs and she doesn't feel pressured to have sex if she doesn't want to. Selfish is not meeting the needs of the one you love. So long as his heart is true to his wife and he is honest then wish him luck instead of slating. It may work for them and be just what their marriage neess to bring then closer.

Good luck OP hope it works out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just divorce her ffs, it's not that difficult to sign a few pieces of paper to declare you're legally single again"

Agreed just get on with it. No offence o p but put up or shut up so to speak.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a break from swinging and concentrate on your relationship.

Decide if you want to be with her or not and then talk to her. Tell her how you feel.

If talking is difficult go to a councillor.

They can help you split up less painfully or help you rebuild a new relationship.

You need to sort your home life out before you can swing.

Good luck xx

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

sit and talk.... tell her you need sex so if she don't like you going elsewhere you should separate

good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are being selfish, even if she knows you're on here doesn't make it ok. I would still go through with the divorce

Good luck OP hope it works out"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You are being selfish, even if she knows you're on here doesn't make it ok. I would still go through with the divorce

Good luck OP hope it works out"

I don't get your point? The "don't fix, bin it" mentality is selfish. Yet you're saying he isn't being selfish but she is?

Haven't a clue what's going on in OP's marriage, but to divorce because he's not getting his end away, and there's a refusal to talk about it is childish in my view.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I am getting the impression the OP isn't asking for relationship advice, more asking will he find fun on here.

He did mention divorce first though and why people commented on that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just get your wife to join you on here....job done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can learn a lot from our forebears. Should I face a similar predicament in time, I will practice the teachings of my ancestors and simply eat the offending spouse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a little good advice, plenty of shite, mind.

have you tried relationship councilling?

you really need to sit her down and discuss what is missing, not just sex, as it is very rarely just that which is the problem when it disappears.

unless it was always so, as in she never bothered with sex, which would beg the question why would you marry someone if you werent getting sex from them.

but ultimately, talk, talk then talk some more.

you will hear things you dont want to hear

she will say things you dont want to agree with

but ultimately shagging around the place isnt the way to a healthy loving long lasting marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i can try she isnt bothered and knows im on here. but wont devorce"

who wont divorce her, or do you mean you don't want to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We can learn a lot from our forebears. Should I face a similar predicament in time, I will practice the teachings of my ancestors and simply eat the offending spouse. "

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By *itzWoman
over a year ago

south wales

"I don't think its fair to immediately say divorce her if the OP is not having a fulfilled sex life with his wife and has turned to this site for sexual fulfilment. Nobody knows his relationship or his commitments re family life. I would say to the OP, that it's not all just about sex. It is indeed an extremely important part of a relationship and if there are problems there then before you throw the towel in try every avenue to resolve the issue. I'm sure it's not always been that way, so if not why did it change. Why does your partner not have any interest sexually. That there may well be an underlying issue, health, menopause, bad experience, no enjoyment is she self conscious. It may be linked to you how you are. The point I'm trying to make is simply will you get complete fulfillment by being with others when you could have a lifetime of love and wonderful enjoyment with your wife who you love and care for. She may well really need your help in why she feels as she does and by believing that it's just a sexual issue with her might just be premature in your thinking. I hope you manage to resolve it.

The above post is right, there could be many reasons why your wife has gone off sex. As other posters have suggested, talking is the way forward, facilitated by marriage or sex counselling if needs be. You love your wife so i dont feel that divorce is the right thing to do before trying every other avenue first. Love is a special thing and should not be thrown away easily as the grass is not always greener on the other side. Best of luck OP xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

many relationships sex life fades away probably due to routine sex on a one day a week basis, ie every sat morning with the same positions ect,

talk to her tell her you would like more and in diferent ways ect experiment, find out if she has any fantasys which she has never acted out and promise to help her achieve them no matter what they may be ,

she may feel the same way as you about your boreing sex life but like you are not sure how to fix it or scared to ask

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By *adyGardenWoman
over a year ago

LONDON (se)

"You are being selfish, even if she knows you're on here doesn't make it ok. I would still go through with the divorce

Good luck OP hope it works out

I don't get your point? The "don't fix, bin it" mentality is selfish. Yet you're saying he isn't being selfish but she is?

Haven't a clue what's going on in OP's marriage, but to divorce because he's not getting his end away, and there's a refusal to talk about it is childish in my view. "

No another person called him selfish for swining I was saying if she agrees and knowd there is nothing selfish about that.

I wa saying denying a mans basic need is selfish not that she is selfish as she is allowing him to access the need

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By *exystargirlWoman
over a year ago

Warrington

"You are being selfish, even if she knows you're on here doesn't make it ok. I would still go through with the divorce

Good luck OP hope it works out"

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By *enny the lip lickerMan
over a year ago

bath bristol

Shag her sister!! you will get a divorce quick enough then !!!

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By *rs and Mr PandoraCouple
over a year ago

LUTTERWORTH

"any idears other than devorse ps i know i cant spell"

If you love her and don't want to divorce and she knows you are on here and accepts it or turns a blind eye, then who are we to comment. We don't walk in your shoes.

Do you feel guilty and thats why you are asking?

I just wish you luck and happiness

Pandora x

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By *randmrsminxyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

While your on here , you will never move forward . Give the site up for a while . Talk and then talk more . its the only way youll know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you still love each other there is hope.

Sit and talk,maybe see how she feels about joining you on here

Nette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't agree with this more. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"any idears other than devorse ps i know i cant spell"

You could try asking her what your doing wrong ,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The grass is only greener where you water it

Talk talk and more talk, there could be 101 issues why your wife does no longer feel the same, and on many levels.

My husband and I are the same. He is ten years older, we have a young child and work opposite shifts.

Complacency breeds contempt!

On the whole he is a good guy and after much tears and conversation our relationship is working for us both now. Not perfect. .. but better.

We are a disposable society and choose to leave something if it no longer satifies or fulfils. You have history together.... work on it.

Write letters if you cant talk?!

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By * a u lMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Well said........
"If you get on together and the only problem is sex together. Why not have an open relationship. I dont know how long youve been married or what your issues are. Communication or lack of is the key or ruination of most relationships. Why not ask her if she'd like to swing or join in with you,it may add back a spark and get you back together or drive you apart. Talk to her but also listen to her too.

You must have had something at one time to have got married in the first instance. Has she always had a low sex drive?

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