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The Undateables! Just a thought!

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Ok, The undateables has just been on, and after all the look at me and profiles asking for advise, I really don't understand why you can't see it for yourself!

I mean, they can get themselves out there...so my question is....why can't you? What are you struggling with, seeing as most of these people have a mental illness or something to overcome, they still try and help themselves, so my question is...why do you find it so difficult on here, and please be honest! Even if you slag yourself off, as I think will be the case for most to be honest!

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

It's cause I'm a minger

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm undateable, because I have been single for years! I like my space! But guys who complain, could you really put a bit more effort in? Be truthful!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, The undateables has just been on, and after all the look at me and profiles asking for advise, I really don't understand why you can't see it for yourself!

I mean, they can get themselves out there...so my question is....why can't you? What are you struggling with, seeing as most of these people have a mental illness or something to overcome, they still try and help themselves, so my question is...why do you find it so difficult on here, and please be honest! Even if you slag yourself off, as I think will be the case for most to be honest! "

Well to be honest I've not been here long and I think it's the first message that I send to someone. Not really sure what to put and I don't like to talk about sex until the woman starts to. The other thing is there are more blokes on here with gym fit bods, I'm not one of them either

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh


"

Well to be honest I've not been here long and I think it's the first message that I send to someone. Not really sure what to put and I don't like to talk about sex until the woman starts to. The other thing is there are more blokes on here with gym fit bods, I'm not one of them either "

You have good pics and a decent profile, much better than some who have been here ages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Well to be honest I've not been here long and I think it's the first message that I send to someone. Not really sure what to put and I don't like to talk about sex until the woman starts to. The other thing is there are more blokes on here with gym fit bods, I'm not one of them either

You have good pics and a decent profile, much better than some who have been here ages "

Thank you

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"Ok, The undateables has just been on, and after all the look at me and profiles asking for advise, I really don't understand why you can't see it for yourself!

I mean, they can get themselves out there...so my question is....why can't you? What are you struggling with, seeing as most of these people have a mental illness or something to overcome, they still try and help themselves, so my question is...why do you find it so difficult on here, and please be honest! Even if you slag yourself off, as I think will be the case for most to be honest!

Well to be honest I've not been here long and I think it's the first message that I send to someone. Not really sure what to put and I don't like to talk about sex until the woman starts to. The other thing is there are more blokes on here with gym fit bods, I'm not one of them either "

I get that, but what I am speaking about is do you have a profile that sells you? Do you have one that someone else would read and think I want to find out more about them? Or When you think about it, would someone read yours and think I like the sound of that! NOT!

This is just a little hint at all the guys that initially think this site is instashag.com!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"

Well to be honest I've not been here long and I think it's the first message that I send to someone. Not really sure what to put and I don't like to talk about sex until the woman starts to. The other thing is there are more blokes on here with gym fit bods, I'm not one of them either

You have good pics and a decent profile, much better than some who have been here ages

Thank you

"

Get yourself to the Sheffield Pub Social and meet some of us in the flesh!

http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/meets/237608

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

There you go, another helping hand!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There you go, another helping hand! "

Thank you guess I'll have to have a re-think on my profile. Not too sure about the social though, I'm a little shy to be honest

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I hope I ain't bloody undateable...but I do find it difficult to let people in

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By *isscheekychopsWoman
over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

I hope my profile portrays me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I hope I ain't bloody undateable...but I do find it difficult to let people in "

fit a new handle on the door then lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm undateable, I have dyspraxia, I still have trouble and have been single for a year and a half, I'm a hermit and quite like it like that but someone always tries to change me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably not but can anyone really sell their self? I think most people talk down about them self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm undateable, because I have been single for years! I like my space! But guys who complain, could you really put a bit more effort in? Be truthful!"

Same here single for 8.5 years Like to star fish in the middle of a kingsize bed!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm undateable, because I have been single for years! I like my space! But guys who complain, could you really put a bit more effort in? Be truthful!"

You undatable, I'd bloody marry you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you want it you've got to go out and take it.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Selling yourself is overrated. Instead, have a profile that lets people see in advance what a miserable bugger you are.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Ok, The undateables has just been on, and after all the look at me and profiles asking for advise, I really don't understand why you can't see it for yourself!

I mean, they can get themselves out there...so my question is....why can't you? What are you struggling with, seeing as most of these people have a mental illness or something to overcome, they still try and help themselves, so my question is...why do you find it so difficult on here, and please be honest! Even if you slag yourself off, as I think will be the case for most to be honest! "

Peoples personality traits aren't obliterated by having a learning difficulty and the programme you saw will have selected people who are naturally wiling to try things and put themselves out there. It isn't a case of making the effort despite their perceived problem in my opinion more a case that some people will put the effort in and some won't whatever their problems in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, The undateables has just been on, and after all the look at me and profiles asking for advise, I really don't understand why you can't see it for yourself!

I mean, they can get themselves out there...so my question is....why can't you? What are you struggling with, seeing as most of these people have a mental illness or something to overcome, they still try and help themselves, so my question is...why do you find it so difficult on here, and please be honest! Even if you slag yourself off, as I think will be the case for most to be honest!

Well to be honest I've not been here long and I think it's the first message that I send to someone. Not really sure what to put and I don't like to talk about sex until the woman starts to. The other thing is there are more blokes on here with gym fit bods, I'm not one of them either "

You have a lovely body! Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm undateable because I don't get out enough, and I'm too demanding.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I'm undateable because I am a single mum who is very against bringing a new bloke into my child's life and risk it not working out and him being hurt or let down in anyway. So the barriers are well and truly up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/14 10:30:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Peoples personality traits aren't obliterated by having a learning difficulty and the programme you saw will have selected people who are naturally wiling to try things and put themselves out there. It isn't a case of making the effort despite their perceived problem in my opinion more a case that some people will put the effort in and some won't whatever their problems in life."

I was so much more succinct.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Peoples personality traits aren't obliterated by having a learning difficulty and the programme you saw will have selected people who are naturally wiling to try things and put themselves out there. It isn't a case of making the effort despite their perceived problem in my opinion more a case that some people will put the effort in and some won't whatever their problems in life.

I was so much more succinct. "

Indeed you were.

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By *onderTongueMan
over a year ago

Bury


"I'm undateable, I have dyspraxia, I still have trouble and have been single for a year and a half, I'm a hermit and quite like it like that but someone always tries to change me! "

I too have dispraxia, and can identify with the hermit idea. I've never been confident in social settings but then again everybody has their quirks...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i absolutely Love this Program

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's cause I'm a minger "

I am a ginger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/14 15:25:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you for that Misspickles xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh forgot I also wear hearing aids and some shallow people don't like being seen out with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm undateable because I am a single mum who is very against bringing a new bloke into my child's life and risk it not working out and him being hurt or let down in anyway. So the barriers are well and truly up! "

swap the genders, and this just about sums things up for me too.. It would be nice to be close to someone, but we have enough complications to deal with already with my ex for me to want to add another relationship dynamic into the mix..

so since we have that in common, I would happily un-date you MissHottie!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some of the women on that program are very attractive though.

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By *onderTongueMan
over a year ago

Bury


"some of the women on that program are very attractive though."

Ahh but confidence is the key, of which I have none!

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By *r Mahogany70Man
over a year ago

Leicester

I'm undateable due to my irresistible compulsion to wrestle my date to the ground and fart on her head.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I'm undateable due to my irresistible compulsion to wrestle my date to the ground and fart on her head. "

that can be seen as a bar to a nice evening I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm undateable due to my irresistible compulsion to wrestle my date to the ground and fart on her head. "

It's an acquired taste, I agree, but there will no doubt be a niche market for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm undateable, I have dyspraxia, I still have trouble and have been single for a year and a half, I'm a hermit and quite like it like that but someone always tries to change me!

I too have dispraxia, and can identify with the hermit idea. I've never been confident in social settings but then again everybody has their quirks... "

I haven't even been tested for it but I know I have it! I'm uncomfortable in social situations even when I go for an interview, I get so uncomfortable and nervous I start rambling :/ my dad always pesters me to get out more but I'm happy in my room

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By *onderTongueMan
over a year ago

Bury


"I'm undateable, I have dyspraxia, I still have trouble and have been single for a year and a half, I'm a hermit and quite like it like that but someone always tries to change me!

I too have dispraxia, and can identify with the hermit idea. I've never been confident in social settings but then again everybody has their quirks...

I haven't even been tested for it but I know I have it! I'm uncomfortable in social situations even when I go for an interview, I get so uncomfortable and nervous I start rambling :/ my dad always pesters me to get out more but I'm happy in my room"

This makes perfect sense to me.... I can land an interview quite easily but get all messed up when they start asking questions which any other time would be easy to give a Corking answer too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm undateable, I have dyspraxia, I still have trouble and have been single for a year and a half, I'm a hermit and quite like it like that but someone always tries to change me!

I too have dispraxia, and can identify with the hermit idea. I've never been confident in social settings but then again everybody has their quirks...

I haven't even been tested for it but I know I have it! I'm uncomfortable in social situations even when I go for an interview, I get so uncomfortable and nervous I start rambling :/ my dad always pesters me to get out more but I'm happy in my room

This makes perfect sense to me.... I can land an interview quite easily but get all messed up when they start asking questions which any other time would be easy to give a Corking answer too."

I think it's what's holding me back from getting a job :/ I feel like giving up tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"some of the women on that program are very attractive though.

Ahh but confidence is the key, of which I have none!"

Lot of men arent bothered if a woman lacks confidence if she is good looking though where as women are usualy more fussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty crap to be honest! I just fail to put the effort and commitment in to complete a meet. I don't message on here. I'm not the most handsome person by a long shot. I just work with what I got.

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I'm pretty crap to be honest! I just fail to put the effort and commitment in to complete a meet. I don't message on here. I'm not the most handsome person by a long shot. I just work with what I got."

Finally someone who understood what I meant and was honest about it!

The difference being, did you ever post a look at me or please help...where am I going wrong?

My original post was meant to be along the lines of the effort you put in, should match your success...as if they are really unaware of what/where they are going wrong?

Compared to the all poor woe is me, that is constantly going round, when they hardly ever take the advise on board, so thank you!

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

[Removed by poster at 17/01/14 20:50:48]

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By *ingjayMan
over a year ago

exeter

[Removed by poster at 17/01/14 20:53:22]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm pretty crap to be honest! I just fail to put the effort and commitment in to complete a meet. I don't message on here. I'm not the most handsome person by a long shot. I just work with what I got.

Finally someone who understood what I meant and was honest about it!

The difference being, did you ever post a look at me or please help...where am I going wrong?

My original post was meant to be along the lines of the effort you put in, should match your success...as if they are really unaware of what/where they are going wrong?

Compared to the all poor woe is me, that is constantly going round, when they hardly ever take the advise on board, so thank you!

"

Well I did join before and I did do a look at me thread a few times on my old account Tattoo-Lover30! I did have 2 meets. Now though I am much more relaxed about things. I think you need to be proactive if you want a meet but not obsessed.

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"

Well I did join before and I did do a look at me thread a few times on my old account Tattoo-Lover30! I did have 2 meets. Now though I am much more relaxed about things. I think you need to be proactive if you want a meet but not obsessed. "

That is what I meant, so thank you for being honest! It makes a refreshing change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Well I did join before and I did do a look at me thread a few times on my old account Tattoo-Lover30! I did have 2 meets. Now though I am much more relaxed about things. I think you need to be proactive if you want a meet but not obsessed.

That is what I meant, so thank you for being honest! It makes a refreshing change "

No worries little miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suddenly found myself in an odd situation where my social circle almost literally dried up overnight due to marriages and babies etc.

Also work in a family business and doing exams to get a different career so getting out there can be a bit odd as I literally have few friends.

Sorting this is far harder than getting meets

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I suddenly found myself in an odd situation where my social circle almost literally dried up overnight due to marriages and babies etc.

Also work in a family business and doing exams to get a different career so getting out there can be a bit odd as I literally have few friends.

Sorting this is far harder than getting meets"

Welcome to my world, I've been there for the last 10 years! You'll get used to it I promise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A group of us from uni got together recently and I overheard one girl say to another how I hadn't aged much and that I 'looked good'

It was flattering so I have some amount of confidence I can turn it around.

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"A group of us from uni got together recently and I overheard one girl say to another how I hadn't aged much and that I 'looked good'

It was flattering so I have some amount of confidence I can turn it around."

See! Sounds good to me, so go get them Tiger x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/12/14 19:27:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its easy, the ratio is 100 men to 1 woman or more, so hard for most men lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks Foxy, although back to thread I have a real downer on these type of programmes - I always think the producers are ever so slightly taking the piss out of people who might not know better or can't stand up for themselves.

Like one about some very intelligent people who were peculiar - it painted them as oddballs rather than focus on the fact they were developing cures for cancer or exploring sub atomic particles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

most of a swinging site members are not your typical dating material. It's not called an alternative lifestyle for nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't master the art of dating. I can get the initial interest and secure a first date but after that I'm at a loss. A few year back I did an advanced diploma in psycotherapy and counselling though I didn't finish it because I fell pregnant in the final year. From studying and assignments I recognise that I display a lot of the same traits found in someone that has borderline personality disorder. I think I'm going to see my GP for a referral and see if I have got it and if so get treatment for it. 5 years single and every guy I meet who seems keen in the beginning but then decides I'm too full on is not just a coincidence, it's something I am doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm at a loss when you like someone but not enough to date - some girls don't take kindly to being friend zoned I've found.

To most guys it seems to be a recurring theme.

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I can't master the art of dating. I can get the initial interest and secure a first date but after that I'm at a loss. A few year back I did an advanced diploma in psycotherapy and counselling though I didn't finish it because I fell pregnant in the final year. From studying and assignments I recognise that I display a lot of the same traits found in someone that has borderline personality disorder. I think I'm going to see my GP for a referral and see if I have got it and if so get treatment for it. 5 years single and every guy I meet who seems keen in the beginning but then decides I'm too full on is not just a coincidence, it's something I am doing. "

Well good for you! My brother has been diagnosed with the same thing but has done nothing about it and he is getting worse if anything.

So make the first step and hopefully you will turn things around x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The initial first message is always hardest. Usually it's because I don't know what to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have not been here long so not worried about not meeting as yet. I do however find it hard to make that initial contact, never know what to put. Also not sure what pics to have on profile, body or cock?

I have had a few conversations but these tend to stop quickly when I send a face pic, guess I am not everyones "cup of tea".

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"The initial first message is always hardest. Usually it's because I don't know what to say. "

Of course, it depends on what has attracted you to contact them, the main theme of this thread was initially why don't a lot of people put the effort into having a decent profile, therefore contact the one's who have made the effort, then I'm sure it will be easier to master the initial first message in order to gain a response.

Just my opinion of course x

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford

I'm great at the social side of dates but people piss me off if I see to much of them so I'm a bit of a hopeless case I'm afraid x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I can't master the art of dating. I can get the initial interest and secure a first date but after that I'm at a loss. A few year back I did an advanced diploma in psycotherapy and counselling though I didn't finish it because I fell pregnant in the final year. From studying and assignments I recognise that I display a lot of the same traits found in someone that has borderline personality disorder. I think I'm going to see my GP for a referral and see if I have got it and if so get treatment for it. 5 years single and every guy I meet who seems keen in the beginning but then decides I'm too full on is not just a coincidence, it's something I am doing. "
this!

Similar here. I've studied psychology a few years back and I've suffered from anxiety and depression but all the NHS do is try to give me high strength anti depressants. I recognise I have episodes of almost mania.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually do put effort in. I tailor all my messages, I provide face pics and I have a couple of genuine veris. But 99% of messages either get deleted either read or unread. I must just be a complete munter!

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By *oxy_minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen


"I'm great at the social side of dates but people piss me off if I see to much of them so I'm a bit of a hopeless case I'm afraid x"

I feel your pain! I'm very much similar to you

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By *icky-discoMan
over a year ago

oxford


"I'm great at the social side of dates but people piss me off if I see to much of them so I'm a bit of a hopeless case I'm afraid x

I feel your pain! I'm very much similar to you "

xx

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