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Safety when meeting

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?"

Hi.Tried to reply straight to you but it wouldn't let me. Wouldn't ever invite someone back or go to theirs until your sure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes I can understand that, even as a man meeting another bloke at their house you often wonder. Unfortunately it would be the same if you just started dating someone and went to their place for diner without knowing them that well. Thankfully most people have an instinct when somebody doesn't seem 'right' and there are always veris as a starting point.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. "
why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

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By *wbbabeWoman
over a year ago

clacton

I prefer the parties and clubs.but also prefer to meet for a coffee first.then see how we get on.its the best way and the safest way.

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By *oxic1998Woman
over a year ago

Belfast


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. "

Couldnt agree more. Always first meet is somewhere public....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

Hi.Tried to reply straight to you but it wouldn't let me. Wouldn't ever invite someone back or go to theirs until your sure. "

Same here but amazed how many do....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. "

I do the same...but its always just a coffee on first meet. Had one guy accuse me of being married and hiding something because I wouldn't invite him back to mine!!! Tough!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise "

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!"

Maybe I have been lucky ... but I have never had any safety issues at any of my meets. Maybe it's a bloke thing; maybe it's because I generally get to know the people before I meet. Maybe it's because my veris all show I'm a safe person to met.

Before I meet anyone new - I always stress if they have any concerns/worries - then NOT meeting me is the best bet unless we can agree other arrangements.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!

Maybe I have been lucky ... but I have never had any safety issues at any of my meets. Maybe it's a bloke thing; maybe it's because I generally get to know the people before I meet. Maybe it's because my veris all show I'm a safe person to met.

Before I meet anyone new - I always stress if they have any concerns/worries - then NOT meeting me is the best bet unless we can agree other arrangements."

Yes..but then you are giving her an ultimatum arent you? That would put me off anyway.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I always meet socially first with no chance of a play meet. Some of my playmates want to meet me socially several times before we play which I understand. I'm much bigger than my playmates and I have restraints, wall brackets, gags, chains and cuffs!

You don't walk into that kind of set up without feeling safe, it's not just us ladies that have to be mindful!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well its good to know I am not just some paranoid scaredy cat! The way some guys are...they seem to think I am strange. I have even had guys ask why I am on this site then???? Apparently I am supposed to feel fine about giving out my address to anyone. ...

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

If they don't want to do the coffee meet then I wish them luck and move on.

I have been accused of looking for dates before but if they can't see how this is a simple but effective safety measure then I doubt we'd get on.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 21/12/13 17:43:11]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!"

People put up "meet today", meet in hotels without preamble, car parks etc. Certainly not for me but if it suits others...hey ho!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!

Maybe I have been lucky ... but I have never had any safety issues at any of my meets. Maybe it's a bloke thing; maybe it's because I generally get to know the people before I meet. Maybe it's because my veris all show I'm a safe person to met.

Before I meet anyone new - I always stress if they have any concerns/worries - then NOT meeting me is the best bet unless we can agree other arrangements.

Yes..but then you are giving her an ultimatum arent you? That would put me off anyway. "

Absolutely not. I'm saying that if someone doesn't feel completely at ease meeting me (having chatted beforehand) - then it's OK to say no thanks.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

lots of attached men prefer to meet at the womans house because its easier and cheaper

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!

Maybe I have been lucky ... but I have never had any safety issues at any of my meets. Maybe it's a bloke thing; maybe it's because I generally get to know the people before I meet. Maybe it's because my veris all show I'm a safe person to met.

Before I meet anyone new - I always stress if they have any concerns/worries - then NOT meeting me is the best bet unless we can agree other arrangements.

Yes..but then you are giving her an ultimatum arent you? That would put me off anyway.

Absolutely not. I'm saying that if someone doesn't feel completely at ease meeting me (having chatted beforehand) - then it's OK to say no thanks."

Its just that I have had guys who want to either meet for guaranteed sex or not all. So I am expected to go to theirs to they come to mine which I wont do. They are not happy with just a coffee meet so they say what you say.....if you arent happy to meet (for sex) then don't. ..which sounds like an ultimatum to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?"

First meets have to be public IMO. Ironically everyone I have met have agreed with my stance but it's a rare one who hasn't met a woman at her place .

Last week a guy agreed to get a hotel and yet wanted my address to get something local to me. I ceased the conversation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Its just that I have had guys who want to either meet for guaranteed sex or not all. So I am expected to go to theirs to they come to mine which I wont do. They are not happy with just a coffee meet so they say what you say.....if you arent happy to meet (for sex) then don't. ..which sounds like an ultimatum to me."

I've had a guy who told me 95% of women here meet for coffee and sex... so I told him to go get himself one and stop wasting my time

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Its just that I have had guys who want to either meet for guaranteed sex or not all. So I am expected to go to theirs to they come to mine which I wont do. They are not happy with just a coffee meet so they say what you say.....if you arent happy to meet (for sex) then don't. ..which sounds like an ultimatum to me.

I've had a guy who told me 95% of women here meet for coffee and sex... so I told him to go get himself one and stop wasting my time "

Good for you! !!!

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!

Maybe I have been lucky ... but I have never had any safety issues at any of my meets. Maybe it's a bloke thing; maybe it's because I generally get to know the people before I meet. Maybe it's because my veris all show I'm a safe person to met.

Before I meet anyone new - I always stress if they have any concerns/worries - then NOT meeting me is the best bet unless we can agree other arrangements.

Yes..but then you are giving her an ultimatum arent you? That would put me off anyway.

Absolutely not. I'm saying that if someone doesn't feel completely at ease meeting me (having chatted beforehand) - then it's OK to say no thanks.

Its just that I have had guys who want to either meet for guaranteed sex or not all. So I am expected to go to theirs to they come to mine which I wont do. They are not happy with just a coffee meet so they say what you say.....if you arent happy to meet (for sex) then don't. ..which sounds like an ultimatum to me."

Nope - still can't figure out where the 'ultimatum' is in my comment - I'm not the one in the position to propose the ultimatum (if I was female - then I could understand that, but I'm not). I see it as offering an 'are you sure?' option.

I do (and am happy to) meet socially first for those that wish to go down that route.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always have a social meet first, If someone insisted on coming to my home then I would walk away from them, and I would never insist on meet at someones home for a first meet

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By *inecrestMan
over a year ago

West Yorks

Even as a single male, I am also wary of new people, and normally insist on a social meet in public first. I have had several couples contact me on here and on the basis of exchanging a few short messages, want to drive straight round to mine. No doubt there are couples who don't have free time very often and feel that social meets are a waste of valuable shagging time, but my advice is to stick to your guns and lay down your own conditions for a first meet, whatever you feel comfortable with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well thankyou all....I feel happy that I am not alone in what I think is right x

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I can see how singles of either sex, but especially women, can feel a little (or a lot!) unsure or unsafe when meeting.

From chatting to people at socials and parties etc, some like that sense of anxiety/excitement... its a buzz.

As the male of a couple, I too am careful, probably more so than many singlies, for one reason... Jayne.

Meeting on my own wouldn't bother me, I am more than capable of looking after myself in any situation, but add Jayne to the mix and my "battle antenna" twitches like a hares whiskers in March!

Even in a party situation where we know most of the attendees, when there are strangers it takes time for me to relax.

I'm always in awe of the single ladies who breeze into a party or club completely on their own, takes real balls lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same view as OP. Though I will meet for coffee in public .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we usually try and meet in a neutral venue

V would love to meet a single lady, but she is very wary of inviting someone round and then having them cry rape afer the fact or something.

at least if we meet in a pub first, there are witnesses to say she left of her own accord and seemed happy to or something.

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. why would anyone not do this its a no brainer and just common sense good advise

You would think so... but so surprised how many people still risk it!

Maybe I have been lucky ... but I have never had any safety issues at any of my meets. Maybe it's a bloke thing; maybe it's because I generally get to know the people before I meet. Maybe it's because my veris all show I'm a safe person to met.

Before I meet anyone new - I always stress if they have any concerns/worries - then NOT meeting me is the best bet unless we can agree other arrangements."
i think its different for blokes it wouldnt bother me to not meet for a social first but if i was female i would want to for safety reasons

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By *heDevilsinthedetailMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Always a social meet first now after a very bad experience when I was younger. Went to a house to meet a very nice well written more mature lady off another site with very sexy pictures to be met with her 'husband' at the door. Once inside it was very clear there was only 2 males in the house and I made a bolt for the door! I consider myself very lucky to this day that I managed to get out without finding what the hell they were up to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If they don't want to do the coffee meet then I wish them luck and move on.

I have been accused of looking for dates before but if they can't see how this is a simple but effective safety measure then I doubt we'd get on. "

Agree.

If I'm meeting on my own I always have a coffee meet first. No chance of it turning into a play meet.

I still wouldn't go to someone's house unless I'd met them a few times. I never have anyone back to my house.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I prefer clubs, parties and hotel meets for the security, but I have been to a gentlemans house on more than one occasion, and felt totally safe. Arranging a social meet and using female intuition often comes in handy when deciding who to meet in a more intimate setting.

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By *oi_LucyCouple
over a year ago

Barbados

Yes meet in a public place first. Coffee shop, pub, etc.

Also you could consider a safe-call. Get someone you know and trust to call you 20 minutes after you are due to meet the person to check you are ok. Clearly you need to let this person know where you are meeting and any details you know of the person you are meeting. (Eg name, phone number, site name etc).

-Matt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes meet in public, sometimes I'll invite guys to mine, or I'll stay at theirs...I've never really had an issue with safety, but then I chat for months sometimes years before meeting, it depends how long it takes me to trust that individual!

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

when i was single and on a different site i did invite guys to mine, i didn't really have any concern for my safety. Looking back now i think i'm really lucky nothing bad happened as i was quite reckless. I know in a way it's no different to meeting a guy in a pub/club however I'm now more cautious.

If i do meet alone then it's a social drink first and Master is aware of who/where I'm meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid "

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?"

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped "

Yeah...because rapists never follow people from coffee shops! , that doesn't justify calling others stupid!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only ever meet in a club, nowhere else. and I get stick for it...Oh I'm sorry for being concerned for my own safety

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well its good to know I am not just some paranoid scaredy cat! The way some guys are...they seem to think I am strange. I have even had guys ask why I am on this site then???? Apparently I am supposed to feel fine about giving out my address to anyone. ... "

There is more to swinging than the playing. You have to get to know the person/people you are interested in playing with. The social side to swinging is as important. Playtime is a bonus not a given. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well its good to know I am not just some paranoid scaredy cat! The way some guys are...they seem to think I am strange. I have even had guys ask why I am on this site then???? Apparently I am supposed to feel fine about giving out my address to anyone. ...

There is more to swinging than the playing. You have to get to know the person/people you are interested in playing with. The social side to swinging is as important. Playtime is a bonus not a given. Xx"

I've been told I shouldn't be on here because I don't play x

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?"

If you approach any meet in a 'girlie' fashion, some people will take the piss absolutely. Though nerves are one of the aspects that makes meets so good but there are good and bad nerves.

If you turn up and are absolutely in fear of the guy oposite - make an excuse to leave, and make your exit.

By "girlie fashion", I mean, being so clueless as to let them have the upper hand without voicing what you like, making you look vulnerable.

It's more than likely that (s)he will be as nervous as you, but if you don't exercise at least a little contol before you get down to it, then you are not going to enjoy it.

At the end of the day, you know where they live, you have their phone number, pictures etc, if you are that worried - tell someone close you are having a date that eve and potentially give them numbers.

Make simple securites and you will give you confidence to do as you like and you will enjoy it.

I had the same fears 18 yrs ago thinking 'right I'm meeting a couple, they could easily do this or that'. Had that for years, but actually - you gain an idea what they are like prior to meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped

Yeah...because rapists never follow people from coffee shops! , that doesn't justify calling others stupid! "

Except I am talking about those who meet in the home first time and don't bother with the social in a coffee shop!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped

Yeah...because rapists never follow people from coffee shops! , that doesn't justify calling others stupid!

Except I am talking about those who meet in the home first time and don't bother with the social in a coffee shop! "

You realise there are dangers everywhere at everytime?

I understand the principle of meeting publically, but fab is a swinging site. Yes there are idiots but a) a profile lets you know a little about them b) so does your messages c) verifications help you determine if they are any good d) so does any phone conversations prior to meeting.

Whether you meet in a coffee shop or at your home, there is no less imposition other than YOUR OWN comfort zone.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

to add... I have been meeting for 18 yrs. I have only met 4 people/couples socially that I can remember. 2 of them had a pre booked hotel and meal anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I went for pretty much my first meet I realised for the first time what single girls must go through.

The location was one that I knew very well - all the streets, parking and alley incase I had to do a bunk.

When I met her something didn't seem right so made my excuse and left - it only occured to me after that it was drugs paraphenalia that I'd only half noticed - but was enough for me to feel on edge.

Also messaging a girl on her who was very sexy but as soon as she mentioned 'Charles' and 'lines' it turned me off instantly.

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

LOL, I know a woman that was near proposed to on a meet she had. They were in a shopping centre having a coffee, he leaned over and relayed his undying love for her. Something about he'd been wanting to meet her for ages. She went shopping to try to lose him and finally managed it in a shoe shop, legging out of another entrance lol

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I meet at people's homes. Hotels etc. We normally have dinner first with an understanding that if we get on, I will spend the evening.

Before I meet them I explain that I will be giving their full details to someone I know. Each one has not had an issue with that.

I do social onlys with people I am unsure of. So far, none of these have resulted in a second and more intimate meet.

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By *omethingSoGoodAboutSofiaWoman
over a year ago

Blackburn/Preston

I'm either very lucky or a good judge of character, I don't do social meets in public places, always meet people in their homes as I can't accommodate and thankfully all my meets have been great! I personally really try and get to know the people I'm meeting beforehand over the phone and messages etc...I have started conversing with some and realised they're not for me (pushy etc) by asking certain questions and stopped any communication...I guess it depends on what you're wanting off others that determines how you go about arranging and having meets...my meets with new people I say quite directly to them are 'social with the intention of fucking' that way there isn't any pressure and if there isn't a connection then we can have the social and move on...luckily I am a good judge of character, get to know my meets well beforehand, lay down the rules and have had fun on all my meets...I guess it's also a test of how strong you as a man/woman, I know myself enough to know exactly what it is I want out of a meet and am comfortable with saying no to anyone but that's because I communicate with the people I'm meeting and give myself and them a chance to say no, if there does come a time when I'm in trouble and things go horribly wrong then I've put myself in that position and basically the consequences of doing so will be the outcome...that being said I'm tougher than most blokes out there! It's not a laughing matter I know but if you don't humour yourself about it and are constantly thinking of the dangers of meeting then none of us would ever meet...Some of us are bigger risk takers than others but nobody has the right to call others stupid for inviting people into their homes, every single one of my veris proves that as I was invited over! Happy swinging and each to their own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/13 18:52:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

95% of my meets are at clubs and partys which are very safe enviroment

Some I meet social,occasionally have gone to man or couples house I haven't had a problem,I won't meet at mine as had clingons who wanted more,so don't give address anymore

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

problems can arise if you meet in your home as a single then there is no partner to worry them

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"95% of my meets are at clubs and partys which are very safe enviroment

Some I meet social,occasionally have gone to man or couples house I haven't had a problem,I won't meet at mine as had clingons who wanted more,so don't give address anymore"

Even in clubs though - if people get to d*unk and too mouthy, aggression will put you off going back. There are pros and cons wherever you meet, and always a story from someone who did something somwhere to someone.

You just have to forget it and go with what you are after. Good bloody fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a meet last weekend with a man I had been chatting to for a few weeks. We had discussed on and off here arranging to meet.

He actually invited me to his home and cooked dinner.

I had told a friend I was going, let her know when I got there etc.

I appreciate not everyone would agree what I did was right but I felt safe and had no concerns at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"problems can arise if you meet in your home as a single then there is no partner to worry them"

Absolutely

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I find most men that contact me want to meet at my place usually cos their partner would object lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped

Yeah...because rapists never follow people from coffee shops! , that doesn't justify calling others stupid!

Except I am talking about those who meet in the home first time and don't bother with the social in a coffee shop!

You realise there are dangers everywhere at everytime?

I understand the principle of meeting publically, but fab is a swinging site. Yes there are idiots but a) a profile lets you know a little about them b) so does your messages c) verifications help you determine if they are any good d) so does any phone conversations prior to meeting.

Whether you meet in a coffee shop or at your home, there is no less imposition other than YOUR OWN comfort zone."

Except if I am outside in a coffee shop or pub, I've more chance of escaping than in my own home so my comfort zone is a social meet in either if those and would only meet at theirs or a hotel if there was a mutual attraction and I felt safe with them, even that is no guarantee

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Each does whqat they feel happy with!!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

[Removed by poster at 22/12/13 19:27:58]

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped

Yeah...because rapists never follow people from coffee shops! , that doesn't justify calling others stupid!

Except I am talking about those who meet in the home first time and don't bother with the social in a coffee shop!

You realise there are dangers everywhere at everytime?

I understand the principle of meeting publically, but fab is a swinging site. Yes there are idiots but a) a profile lets you know a little about them b) so does your messages c) verifications help you determine if they are any good d) so does any phone conversations prior to meeting.

Whether you meet in a coffee shop or at your home, there is no less imposition other than YOUR OWN comfort zone.

Except if I am outside in a coffee shop or pub, I've more chance of escaping than in my own home so my comfort zone is a social meet in either if those and would only meet at theirs or a hotel if there was a mutual attraction and I felt safe with them, even that is no guarantee "

but that is your own comfort zone, as I tried to highlight. Others, obviously have theirs too. It's not mad/stupid or other - just something that as yet, you are not open to.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

fact is even if you chat for months before meeting you still don't know the person you are meeting wherever you meet

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"fact is even if you chat for months before meeting you still don't know the person you are meeting wherever you meet"

dont have sex with anyone you dont know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will always be happy socially first but more often than not its been great chat and down to business.

The old adage " if in doubt, just get out"

Suss them out at a neutral place if you must but go with instinct and you should be fine....

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"fact is even if you chat for months before meeting you still don't know the person you are meeting wherever you meet

dont have sex with anyone you dont know. "

so true but it happens

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"fact is even if you chat for months before meeting you still don't know the person you are meeting wherever you meet

dont have sex with anyone you dont know.

so true but it happens"

there lays my point. Sometimes you've just to to roll with it.

(though as said previously, I can understand social meets)

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By *rsK69Woman
over a year ago

Neath

I've always met at guys' homes for a first meet. Never had any problems. Just because you have met someone for coffee before it doesnt mean they couldnt turn into a raving lunatic when you eventually meet them at home. If you think that because you have met for coffee previously then you are guaranteed safety then that seems a little naive to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped

Yeah...because rapists never follow people from coffee shops! , that doesn't justify calling others stupid!

Except I am talking about those who meet in the home first time and don't bother with the social in a coffee shop! "

Yeah...I am one such person...and I'm pretty far from stupid, what I am, is very careful, patient, and good at reading people!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I've always met at guys' homes for a first meet. Never had any problems. Just because you have met someone for coffee before it doesnt mean they couldnt turn into a raving lunatic when you eventually meet them at home. If you think that because you have met for coffee previously then you are guaranteed safety then that seems a little naive to me "

It's not just about raving lunatics though.

I've met guys with fake pics. One of them was 6ft8, broad shouldered (big bellied too) and very miffed that I was saying no to him cos his pics were about 5 years and 4 stone out of date. Dealing with his strop in a public place was uncomfortable but definitely preferable to dealing with it in a locked room/house.

Then there was the recently divorced guy who cried for most of the meet but still tried to stick his hand up my skirt. In a busy cafe! I suspect he would have been very hard work if we had been somewhere private!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I've always met at guys' homes for a first meet. Never had any problems. Just because you have met someone for coffee before it doesnt mean they couldnt turn into a raving lunatic when you eventually meet them at home. If you think that because you have met for coffee previously then you are guaranteed safety then that seems a little naive to me "

It's not just about raving lunatics though.

I've met guys with fake pics. One of them was 6ft8, broad shouldered (big bellied too) and very miffed that I was saying no to him cos his pics were about 5 years and 4 stone out of date. Dealing with his strop in a public place was uncomfortable but definitely preferable to dealing with it in a locked room/house.

Then there was the recently divorced guy who cried for most of the meet but still tried to stick his hand up my skirt. In a busy cafe! I suspect he would have been very hard work if we had been somewhere private!

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By *rsK69Woman
over a year ago

Neath


"I've always met at guys' homes for a first meet. Never had any problems. Just because you have met someone for coffee before it doesnt mean they couldnt turn into a raving lunatic when you eventually meet them at home. If you think that because you have met for coffee previously then you are guaranteed safety then that seems a little naive to me

It's not just about raving lunatics though.

I've met guys with fake pics. One of them was 6ft8, broad shouldered (big bellied too) and very miffed that I was saying no to him cos his pics were about 5 years and 4 stone out of date. Dealing with his strop in a public place was uncomfortable but definitely preferable to dealing with it in a locked room/house.

Then there was the recently divorced guy who cried for most of the meet but still tried to stick his hand up my skirt. In a busy cafe! I suspect he would have been very hard work if we had been somewhere private! "

The raving lunatic comment was a little tongue in cheek. And if i turned up at soneones home and they opened the door and were nothing like their pics etc then i would simply walk away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always arrange a brief drinks meet first. Usually in a chain coffee shop (busy places are always better so you can talk about all kinds of things) in a shopping centre not so far from me.

That way we can suss each other out for the cost of a latte and both decide if we want to take things further. There's plenty of free parking and anyone can find it.

It also means if he turns out to be lying about his pics or a total social inept I can make my excuses and melt into the crowd and he has no idea where I live. "

I always do at least a coffee prior to arranging anything else for exactly the same reasons.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I always say they can go if they don't want to proceed or I am not how they expected but id be mortified if they did just go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if I click with someone I tend to chat on kik/ whatsapp & then arrange to meet socially first. The fact that I have a busy schedule means an imminent meet is not possible so I get to 'know' them a little more this way.

If someone's not prepared to do this then that's cool but I don't take it any further ~ so far only 1 person has taken that stand.

trust your instinct, always x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"95% of my meets are at clubs and partys which are very safe enviroment

Some I meet social,occasionally have gone to man or couples house I haven't had a problem,I won't meet at mine as had clingons who wanted more,so don't give address anymore

Even in clubs though - if people get to d*unk and too mouthy, aggression will put you off going back. There are pros and cons wherever you meet, and always a story from someone who did something somwhere to someone.

You just have to forget it and go with what you are after. Good bloody fun! "

I havent had problem with the club and partys I go to,they are well staffed and have bouncers x don't think I be put of by one or two peoples behaviour,its not the club or party fault,I feel safer than going to people's homes,hence don't do it much and have to really get to know them

We all have to be carefull however we meet and its a risk we all take unfortunately

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"I've always met at guys' homes for a first meet. Never had any problems. Just because you have met someone for coffee before it doesnt mean they couldnt turn into a raving lunatic when you eventually meet them at home. If you think that because you have met for coffee previously then you are guaranteed safety then that seems a little naive to me

It's not just about raving lunatics though.

I've met guys with fake pics. One of them was 6ft8, broad shouldered (big bellied too) and very miffed that I was saying no to him cos his pics were about 5 years and 4 stone out of date. Dealing with his strop in a public place was uncomfortable but definitely preferable to dealing with it in a locked room/house.

Then there was the recently divorced guy who cried for most of the meet but still tried to stick his hand up my skirt. In a busy cafe! I suspect he would have been very hard work if we had been somewhere private! "

surely if they are not what you expected, then they dont get past your front door?

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"I've always met at guys' homes for a first meet. Never had any problems. Just because you have met someone for coffee before it doesnt mean they couldnt turn into a raving lunatic when you eventually meet them at home. If you think that because you have met for coffee previously then you are guaranteed safety then that seems a little naive to me

It's not just about raving lunatics though.

I've met guys with fake pics. One of them was 6ft8, broad shouldered (big bellied too) and very miffed that I was saying no to him cos his pics were about 5 years and 4 stone out of date. Dealing with his strop in a public place was uncomfortable but definitely preferable to dealing with it in a locked room/house.

Then there was the recently divorced guy who cried for most of the meet but still tried to stick his hand up my skirt. In a busy cafe! I suspect he would have been very hard work if we had been somewhere private!

surely if they are not what you expected, then they dont get past your front door?"

The guy who cried held it together for about ten minutes before he started so it would have been even more awkward in a private place. As for the other guy I don't really want to have to stand on my doorstep trying to get rid of men or have to try to make an escape from his doorstep!

Which is why I always meet in a cafe first.

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By *istalloverCouple
over a year ago

Pays de la Loire -Normandie -Brittany borderFrance

We had one tonight who wouldn`t meet in a pub but wanted to meet at their home .

then they refused to meet us .

a so called genuine couple or maybe not .

who knows nowadays .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After the case of the women who murdered three men earlier this year in Peterborough.

I only ever meet for a coffee on the first meet, you just never no these days.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I had a meet last weekend with a man I had been chatting to for a few weeks. We had discussed on and off here arranging to meet.

He actually invited me to his home and cooked dinner.

I had told a friend I was going, let her know when I got there etc.

I appreciate not everyone would agree what I did was right but I felt safe and had no concerns at all."

Are you sure you werent on 'dinner date'??? Lol....only kidding ..but

he sounds quite the gentleman...though personally I would still not meet someone in their home that I didn't know. I appreciate everyone feels different but I have to go with my instinct and I would rather any bad instincts kicked in at a public place than inside mine or their home when it might be a bit late!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've not read any comments just what you put as your post but from a male perspective to help a woman i'd say just make sure the initial part of your meet wherever you're going to go is in a very public place maybe with cctv etc too ,

and always try and video call before meeting in person as well but other than that yeah surely everybody's just here for mutual fun and i say all the safety stuff to a woman first so she'll be more comfortable oh and less shy lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I only ever meet in a club, nowhere else. and I get stick for it...Oh I'm sorry for being concerned for my own safety "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/14 00:15:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I have always.. and always will meet socially in a public place!!! Thankfully, all the people I have met have been more than happy with this. Just keeping myself safe!!! Hope this helps. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet socially first, then go from there. If they want to meet a second time then its a hotel or their place but I don't hold my breath anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I turn up in full leather or kevlar body armour, a helmet and about of gloves that have built in knuckle dusters :p

There are some advantages to travelling by motorbike :p

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a meet last weekend with a man I had been chatting to for a few weeks. We had discussed on and off here arranging to meet.

He actually invited me to his home and cooked dinner.

I had told a friend I was going, let her know when I got there etc.

I appreciate not everyone would agree what I did was right but I felt safe and had no concerns at all."

I've done this before after a couple of socials, no dinner though, I have to make do now without the friend backup although I do have one friend I could give info to if need be

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?"

Meet them socially if you are nervous. If they dont have condoms, make sure you have some!

When it comes down to it, they will be at your front door and it can easily be closed if they are nothing like described. If they are but you aren't attracted, make it clear that all they are getting is a drink if you do let them in?

I would explain both of these in messages prior also if you are dubious

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've always met at guys' homes for a first meet. Never had any problems. Just because you have met someone for coffee before it doesnt mean they couldnt turn into a raving lunatic when you eventually meet them at home. If you think that because you have met for coffee previously then you are guaranteed safety then that seems a little naive to me

It's not just about raving lunatics though.

I've met guys with fake pics. One of them was 6ft8, broad shouldered (big bellied too) and very miffed that I was saying no to him cos his pics were about 5 years and 4 stone out of date. Dealing with his strop in a public place was uncomfortable but definitely preferable to dealing with it in a locked room/house.

Then there was the recently divorced guy who cried for most of the meet but still tried to stick his hand up my skirt. In a busy cafe! I suspect he would have been very hard work if we had been somewhere private!

surely if they are not what you expected, then they dont get past your front door?"

There is a naivety about that comment that is so unbelievable, I cant quite fathom it! So you think that she is going to stop a 6'8 crazy nutter from pushing the door in? Well at least we all know how YOU operate.

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By *heScotandthegirlCouple
over a year ago

London & Edinburgh

There's always a risk... If someone wanted to how easy would it be to stay polite and relaxed during a coffee only to change mood once alone!

You have to do what's right for you and trust your gut

Ruby x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There's always a risk... If someone wanted to how easy would it be to stay polite and relaxed during a coffee only to change mood once alone!

You have to do what's right for you and trust your gut

Ruby x"

Absolutely! Of course there is no guarantee but I still think common sense would surely suggest that it is better to test that gut instinct in a public place first. I read of some women who even invite men to their home for the first meet while their child is in bed asleep! I just cannot excuse such irresponsible behaviour to be honest. ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi, I have always.. and always will meet socially in a public place!!! Thankfully, all the people I have met have been more than happy with this. Just keeping myself safe!!! Hope this helps. x"

Good for you! For me, any man who raises objections to a public social meet first, is a red flag to me so I wouldn't meet them at all if they protested. Just not worth the risk and I am not desperate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?"

Not being disrespectful to o p but you have quite a few verifications surely this should been considered before in my humble opinion.

Before i agree to meet anyone whether single lady or couple i insist on phone chats first before giving my address out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

Not being disrespectful to o p but you have quite a few verifications surely this should been considered before in my humble opinion.

Before i agree to meet anyone whether single lady or couple i insist on phone chats first before giving my address out."

I don't quite follow your point about my verifications?? Every single person I met was in a public place the first time. The verifications either reflect just the social meet or when we played at a follow up meet on another occasion. No exceptions!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

Not being disrespectful to o p but you have quite a few verifications surely this should been considered before in my humble opinion.

Before i agree to meet anyone whether single lady or couple i insist on phone chats first before giving my address out.

I don't quite follow your point about my verifications?? Every single person I met was in a public place the first time. The verifications either reflect just the social meet or when we played at a follow up meet on another occasion. No exceptions! "

Then please accept my apologies as i made an assumption without knowing your meets quite rightly in public place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Every meet is a chance taken. One of my very first experiences was a bit shocking. After meeting in public and thinking this guy was cool, we met at his place where he turned a bit nutty (not in a good way) and tried to trap me. He did not fare well. Lol

Always be on your guard.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

Hi.Tried to reply straight to you but it wouldn't let me. Wouldn't ever invite someone back or go to theirs until your sure.

Same here but amazed how many do...."

We don't do clubs meets as they are just not for us. So only meet privately, we have on a few occasions met at someone's house for a first meet and have never had any issues. But then we don't just arrange to meet after one message, we have a screening process that works well for us.

Equally we are just as happy to meet socially in apub / cafe etc.

Different things work for different people.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

Hi.Tried to reply straight to you but it wouldn't let me. Wouldn't ever invite someone back or go to theirs until your sure.

Same here but amazed how many do....

We don't do clubs meets as they are just not for us. So only meet privately, we have on a few occasions met at someone's house for a first meet and have never had any issues. But then we don't just arrange to meet after one message, we have a screening process that works well for us.

Equally we are just as happy to meet socially in apub / cafe etc.

Different things work for different people.

"

Big fundamental difference though....you are a couple...so if I was part of a couple with a big strapping man with me....then the risks are at least less than being a single female on her own.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Even as the male half of couple I would always ensure the first meet be in a public place .playing solo or as a couple .makes sure both party's feel safe .we now mainly play at club so it no longer affects us .and if we are playing solo I will not let wife meet anyone unless we have met before as a couple .it works for us .if I'm busy or away with work I know she. Has choice of 3 guys if she wants some fun and I know she is safe .And like wise with a FB I know ...but clubs are better and safer for single people I think

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Even as the male half of couple I would always ensure the first meet be in a public place .playing solo or as a couple .makes sure both party's feel safe .we now mainly play at club so it no longer affects us .and if we are playing solo I will not let wife meet anyone unless we have met before as a couple .it works for us .if I'm busy or away with work I know she. Has choice of 3 guys if she wants some fun and I know she is safe .And like wise with a FB I know ...but clubs are better and safer for single people I think"

I prefer clubs as a single woman for the safety element because if someone gets unruly then security can sort them out rather than me...and also there is no risk of them stalking me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you meer them at theirs/yours and you think theyre a threat to your safety, you could always pre-empt them and murder them first.

mind you, be prepared to be up all night flushing bodyparts down the bog...lol

KIDDING

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the best thing is a coffee shop or pub, somewhere public.

I will only go with Gary no plans to meet alone, but as a single lady, it can be a worry I have been there.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"I can see how singles of either sex, but especially women, can feel a little (or a lot!) unsure or unsafe when meeting.

From chatting to people at socials and parties etc, some like that sense of anxiety/excitement... its a buzz.

As the male of a couple, I too am careful, probably more so than many singlies, for one reason... Jayne.

Meeting on my own wouldn't bother me, I am more than capable of looking after myself in any situation, but add Jayne to the mix and my "battle antenna" twitches like a hares whiskers in March!

Even in a party situation where we know most of the attendees, when there are strangers it takes time for me to relax.

I'm always in awe of the single ladies who breeze into a party or club completely on their own, takes real balls lol! "

Totally agree with you - on all the points you've made!

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk


"I turn up in full leather or kevlar body armour, a helmet and about of gloves that have built in knuckle dusters :p

There are some advantages to travelling by motorbike :p"

Excellent point! I must get round to learning to ride a motorbike.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always met people at my house. Usually after several weeks of chat and calls.

I have never had a problem with anyone . And im good friends with all of the people ive met.

I have no wish for coffee and chats somewhere.

But thats my decision.

I am aware of the risks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally like to meet people first in a neutral location just to see if any chemistry and if happy then move onto a more fun time after..

Equally if someone has a stack of veris/meets I have gone and met them at their place etc ..

Generally though to get round the not looking like in pics I wouldnt meet anyone that cant spend a few min on cam in the verified chatroom .. this day and age all laptops/pcs/macs have webcams etc ..

Clubs/Parties are not really my thing as I dont like being infront of lots of people .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always practise safe sex, I wear a hard hat, in case I fall off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't under any circumstances invite someone I had not met into my home, nor would I go to theirs and I don't quite understand how anyone can be that stupid

That's extremely RUDE, to assume others who DO are stupid?

Could it be that closed mind that stopping you from understanding? Eh?

No it isn't because I would worry what they would do if I said no as I don't want to be raped

Yeah...because rapists never follow people from coffee shops! , that doesn't justify calling others stupid!

Except I am talking about those who meet in the home first time and don't bother with the social in a coffee shop!

You realise there are dangers everywhere at everytime?

I understand the principle of meeting publically, but fab is a swinging site. Yes there are idiots but a) a profile lets you know a little about them b) so does your messages c) verifications help you determine if they are any good d) so does any phone conversations prior to meeting.

Whether you meet in a coffee shop or at your home, there is no less imposition other than YOUR OWN comfort zone.

Except if I am outside in a coffee shop or pub, I've more chance of escaping than in my own home so my comfort zone is a social meet in either if those and would only meet at theirs or a hotel if there was a mutual attraction and I felt safe with them, even that is no guarantee

but that is your own comfort zone, as I tried to highlight. Others, obviously have theirs too. It's not mad/stupid or other - just something that as yet, you are not open to."

I would like to especially as its been a long time since I had fun but the thought of inviting someone round then deciding they are not for me and them helping themselves scares me so I will stick to socials in a public place first

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I used to have social meets but someone who behaves well can be very different once alone.

Now I meet at mine and chat over coffee before we both decide if it's going any further.

Only had one guy get arsey when told nothing was going to happen. He was through the bloody door sharpish. Guests in my home do not misbehave (unless I want them to ).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe meet in a public place for a coffee.

Also verifications mean very little.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always do a social meet first and if I and it is always I .... Decide to go further I always text a friend ( who knows I'm on here) the time name and address of where I'll be.

I'm all for fun and any man would and should respect that as a single woman your safety is imperative.

My first meet the guy done the exact same by texting a mate so I think it works both ways at times

Be wise

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

We did a thread on here last year about being text buddies! So that people who didn't what their 'friends' to know what they did, could contact someone on here, might be time to resurrect???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We did a thread on here last year about being text buddies! So that people who didn't what their 'friends' to know what they did, could contact someone on here, might be time to resurrect??? "

Wouldn't be a bad idea for those who haven't or don't feel confident confiding in someone about meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We did a thread on here last year about being text buddies! So that people who didn't what their 'friends' to know what they did, could contact someone on here, might be time to resurrect??? "

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Ok, I'll easily start one and collate people/areas who wouldn't mind being a safety buddy?

Obviously no numbers will be posted, just a list of usernames/area who other people could contact before/during a meet....

Just add to the thread or PM me direct?

Or I'm happy for someone else to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok, I'll easily start one and collate people/areas who wouldn't mind being a safety buddy?

Obviously no numbers will be posted, just a list of usernames/area who other people could contact before/during a meet....

Just add to the thread or PM me direct?

Or I'm happy for someone else to do "

I'm on that thread list so anyone local feel free and please add me to your new list. redscorpio63 x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive read this post with interest as ive been approached by a couple and they wanted to meet at their house. I've refused and was wondering if I was being silly...

I feel better now xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

until recently i hadnt thought about it too much, my husband is always in the house, downstairs and i have got a dog.

only a just recently it has occured to me that certain people may be giving others my address, phone number etc.

i have been contacted by someone who i had blocked because he was pushy, he has more than one profile.

I told him last week again i didnt want to see him, only as i was getting ready yesterday to see someone he sent me a text message, not leaving his name.

saying was it still on for meeting me today and because i thought it was the man i was meant to be meeting, i said yes, i thought it was funny that he had asked for directions of how to get to my house, only i told him how to get to my house and my house number, then after explaining that i had made a mistake he still turned up on my doorstep, i didnt answere the door though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive read this post with interest as ive been approached by a couple and they wanted to meet at their house. I've refused and was wondering if I was being silly...

I feel better now xx"

Don't ever do anything you're not comfortable with. Doesn't matter if someone else thinks it's silly, it's you that matters.

I won't ever go to someone's house or have anyone back to mine either. I don't think you're being silly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive read this post with interest as ive been approached by a couple and they wanted to meet at their house. I've refused and was wondering if I was being silly...

I feel better now xx

Don't ever do anything you're not comfortable with. Doesn't matter if someone else thinks it's silly, it's you that matters.

I won't ever go to someone's house or have anyone back to mine either. I don't think you're being silly."

It would be my first meet with a couple by myself and only a social as I'm not sure I can... I have made it clear but do feel better. I've also pretty much always met at clubs x so it's two things that are new to me x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet in a public place first, its amazing how many men offer to come pick me up and take me dogging etc, I've done some stupid things in my time but to get into a car with a total stranger and let him drive me into the middle of nowhere really?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

absoluetly always make the first meet a social meet in a public place even the admin on this site recommend people to do that. I find the ones that are really geniune are willing to do so and understand your safety issues, especially if like me its the home you share with your children. Granted I have come across a few that get offend by you suggesting a social because they are a "nice guy", surely if they were nice they wouldnt be offended and mind, at least thats my way of thinking anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No matter what there's always an element of risk when meet strangers. I always ensure it a public place first for a coffee or something. Plus would be horrified having someone over at mine or going to there's and not funding them attractive.

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By *irstTime4everythingCouple
over a year ago

Reading

We never meet people straight off a brief chat on here, quiet often when guys want a meet after literally saying hi.......what's your address? As soon as we say we're noting going to just hand out personal info they become nasty and with that it's good bye! You have no idea who they are and how many of them could turn up! A brief drink gets the juices following and it's always more fun when your relaxed and the juices are following stay safe people always think what if..........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm very new to everything, and I had my first meet about 2 weeks ago and hadnt thought about any of these (now very obvious) safety issues. I just assumed that everyone would be as nice as they came across in our messages. After a week of speaking we arranged our meet, he picked me up in his car and drove me to an area i didnt know, to his friends house, so we could have sex. I was so fortunate that he was just as lovely as he sounded, but i think now about how differently it could have gone! since our meet I have heard some proper horror stories from women who have had multiple guys turn up, been robbed and other things happen, so now will take things much more carefully!

I'm sure 99% of the guys on here are lovely genuine lads, but you only have to meet that 1%...

Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?"

There's always the hotel option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

There's always the hotel option "
as a single woman I'd never meet someone at their hotel first x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just been chatting and got me thinking...

I have always been slightly nervous about meeting complete strangers in their home or inviting them to mine. After all...I dont know them! They might turn up as someone completely different or bring friends with them! Maybe I am paranoid but safety comes in more guises than just condoms! So for this reason I have tended to prefer parties and clubs...

What are others views?

There's always the hotel option as a single woman I'd never meet someone at their hotel first x"

I have met a fair few guys in hotels when they have been working in my area, but I always meet them in the bar first, it suits me well actually as if we meet and I don't want to play I don't feel guilty as they would be in the hotel anyway, but I see that as no different as meeting in a pub and going back to someone's home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/02/14 17:02:04]

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