FabSwingers.com forum: would you mention an interest in femdom?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As title really, I do very much enjoy being sub to a mistress but the vast majority of women/couple on here seem to have a line on those profiles such as "no sub men" or "only real men" "only dominant men apply" etc.

While I do enjoy being a sub in more vanilla sex I am perfectly capable of taking the lead and being in charge etc an I did use to be switch so can be dom but more tie and tease or sensation play stuff as I don't really like hurting people.

Plus I don't always want bdsm meets I really like chilled out vanilla sessions too, but I feel of I mention that I sometimes like to be sub then I'm going to black list myself with a lot of people who id otherwise get on fine with. Also when I had something about it before I used to get shit loads of rather degrading messages from "dom" wannabe makes despite only liking to be sub to women

So fabbers what would you do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are seeking a Female Dominatrix then have the balls to say so on your profile - if you don't ask you wont get - then sit back and wait for nothing to happen

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By *my-blackTV/TS
over a year ago

Poole

Copy and paste your post into your profile. better still clearly state you can switch and are looking for.........

After all people will only know if you match their kinks if you describe them. the number of peoples profiles that consist of "on here for fun" and thats about it. hardly descriptive.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

"Copy and paste your post into your profile. better still clearly state you can switch and are looking for.........

After all people will only know if you match their kinks if you describe them. the number of peoples profiles that consist of "on here for fun" and thats about it. hardly descriptive.

A cracking idea, but maybe condense it a tad.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I'm here for my own hedonistic pleasure. I will not or ever want to appeal to everyone: no one can. Therefore I seek people who will enhance my pleasure and enjoyment.

If some men find me intimidating and don't contact me so what? I've lost nothing. My sub playmates are directors, bankers, senior managers etc all alpha males in high flying jobs, real "mens men" who need to relinquish control, so I do smile when the uninformed have "real men" only, one of my playmates is 6ft 4 and built like a brick outhouse, dressed in frilly panties I'd dare anyone to call him a big girl!

There are bi men masquerading as straight going for mass appeal and sub men hiding. On this site I've never contacted anyone as you seldom see sub men.

If you don't let people know what you want you won't get!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I suppose I'mjust worried that for the sake of slightly increasing the chances of getting a meet for a specific little fetish I'm gonna lose lots of potential fun meets from people.who see likes to be sub an run a mile cause they don't belive guys can be switch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah I suppose I'mjust worried that for the sake of slightly increasing the chances of getting a meet for a specific little fetish I'm gonna lose lots of potential fun meets from people.who see likes to be sub an run a mile cause they don't belive guys can be switch"

Just say you're switch. If they don't understand, are they worth meeting?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP. If they don't believe you can switch I would say they're not people you want to meet

It's up to you what you put on your profile and it's up to you who you meet. Stick to the ones that float your boat and you won't go far wrong. Hope you find your fun

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I'm Dominant myself so I don't seek out Dom men. I tend to actively avoid men who make a big deal of their Domness on their profile.

A man saying he likes to sub for the right woman wouldn't put me off at all, and I absolutely understand that it's not an aspect that has to be present in meets. I'm the same; I can be Domme, I can Top or I can play without any elements of BDSM at all.

I don't have that I am Domme on my profile now though because I get too many wannabes, guys who send me shopping lists of what they want and calling it submission and messages from men who "want to try that" with no actual idea of what they like, or their limits.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I never get the "I'msub I want you to do this this and this to me" kinda thing.

As a sub I enjoy being used by the other person for those pleasure. Which obviously makes it different for each dom.

exanple being, I only.like pain if it's from Someone who gets off on hurting people otherwise it's not fun for me etc

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Does it even need to be switching? I can Domme or Top but I can also just meet people for sex without any control or power exchange. I wouldn't call it switching because I don't sub.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Yeah I never get the "I'msub I want you to do this this and this to me" kinda thing.

As a sub I enjoy being used by the other person for those pleasure. Which obviously makes it different for each dom.

exanple being, I only.like pain if it's from Someone who gets off on hurting people otherwise it's not fun for me etc"

I understand that totally. There are things I can enjoy if my willing victim is enjoying them that otherwise do nothing for me.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Some guys who puport to be sub send me detailed descriptions and scenarios of what they want me to do to them.

They are always confused when I point out to them that's their fantasy and ask what they think I would get out of it. But you're Domme, they say, you'll enjoy my submission, won't you?

It usually ends with them saying I'm not a real Domme because I'm not jumping to fulfil their fantasies according to their exact wants.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does it even need to be switching? I can Domme or Top but I can also just meet people for sex without any control or power exchange. I wouldn't call it switching because I don't sub."

Yeah that's what I mean most of the time I just like good ol vanilla stuff but a lot of people.won't meet for vanilla if you're a "sub guy" which is weird. But I suppose it's the same as people who won't meet bi guys just those preference. Even though it makes.no impact on the meet unless they say they want me sub or dom.

Heck my favorite meets are the ones where we spend a lot of time in bed/the sofa just having foreplay while watching a film it something between rounds lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Some guys who puport to be sub send me detailed descriptions and scenarios of what they want me to do to them.

They are always confused when I point out to them that's their fantasy and ask what they think I would get out of it. But you're Domme, they say, you'll enjoy my submission, won't you?

It usually ends with them saying I'm not a real Domme because I'm not jumping to fulfil their fantasies according to their exact wants."

Silly girl don't you know "real" doms love to be told what to do

My pet hate is the wanna be find who think being dom.is an excuse for those terrible performance in bed, basically a kind of "oh they get off one being used so it doesn't matter if I cant make Them cum or provide them.pleasure, as after all it's all about me"

Real.doms have to care about their subs in my opinion. A sub gives you their mind and body, it's like a pet or a child they've given you a great gift it shouldn't be taken for granted or squandered in my.book

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

I could do with a sub to finish off the things I need to get done before I can go to bed! I'm knackered and achey.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

added a section to the profile, what do you guys think? too weird, to verbose or ok? any suggestions welcome :D

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally think your profile is great. It details what you are like as a person and yoyr interests. At no point does is read that your 'kink' is a must. It also comes across very personal rather than generic. Sarah x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yay :D

thanks i tried to take as much advice from here as i could im shit at bigging myself up/selling myself so just tried to be as honest as possible.

wish i got more messages that were more detail than "hey wanna suck my cock" lol

but fortunatly most of the good messages i get turn out to be from good people who make good meets so i suppose its working well :D

just need some tips now on writing first messages, i never really know what to say lol or i end up adressing everything on thier profile and sending an essay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yay :D

thanks i tried to take as much advice from here as i could im shit at bigging myself up/selling myself so just tried to be as honest as possible.

wish i got more messages that were more detail than "hey wanna suck my cock" lol

but fortunatly most of the good messages i get turn out to be from good people who make good meets so i suppose its working well :D

just need some tips now on writing first messages, i never really know what to say lol or i end up adressing everything on thier profile and sending an essay "

I think with initial messages it is completely dependable on the people you are messaging. What we tend to do is rather than list all the stuff you liked, focus on the one that stood out for you and say why. As I say its hard to give advice on an initial message as it depends on who it is your messaging. Just be yourself and if that doesnt work... the meet wouldnt have either! Plenty of fish and all that jazz x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I personally think your profile is great. It details what you are like as a person and yoyr interests. At no point does is read that your 'kink' is a must. It also comes across very personal rather than generic. Sarah x"

I would agree with this completely, it is one of the best written profiles I have seen giving the reader an idea what you can offer as well as what you are looking for

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks guys i dont tend to get many messages from couples or fems get lots from guys an tgirls though which is great.

in your opinions is there anything i can add that you as couples or fems would like to know/see about me on the profile?

also are the veris good any you think i should take down for any reason?

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

Femdom.. wasn't that the female version of the condom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As title really, I do very much enjoy being sub to a mistress but the vast majority of women/couple on here seem to have a line on those profiles such as "no sub men" or "only real men" "only dominant men apply" etc.

So fabbers what would you do?"

OMFG NEVER MENTION THAT WORD !!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Femdom.. wasn't that the female version of the condom?

nah thats the femidom :p

have you seen the anti rape one with barbs/teeth!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliantly written profile. As for the veris - leave them; they are usefully diverse and informative.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Brilliantly written profile. As for the veris - leave them; they are usefully diverse and informative.

thanks wasnt to sure if the one from the guy wasa little too extreme lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can anyone just check the veris do you think the one from.the guy is a bit too extreme?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's extreme to you take it down, it's your profile and you choose what to put on it including the veris

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though if you where closer it wouldn't put me off messaging you as the others are more balanced

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