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In a bit of a tizz...

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By *ionaScarlet OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee

So recently an ex girlfriend I haven't seen in over 15 years gets in touch with me on FB, and after the last couple of nights chatting to her its become pretty clear that there's no way we could be trusted alone in the same room together for more than 5 minutes. The spark is so still there and basically my world has just been slammed right upside down.

The trouble is... she's married and I'm supposed to be... well frickin' gay! WTF! My head is screaming "flee" while my heart is doing backflips!

I have no idea what I'm doing here...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pick a side and stick to it!

Or go for the hedonist option, if it makes you feel good........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't be so quick to pigeon hole your sexuality. By labeling things you're only missing out on opportunity.

The heart is a funny thing as it has the ability to overcome reason and logic.

Firstly does she know about your sex life and secondly what's going on in her marriage.

Its not an easy position to be in. Good luck my friend.

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By *ionaScarlet OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee

lol - its not me that's pigeon-holing - friends/family etc all had to be told something... and gay was what they accepted. Now.... this!

Jeezus why can't things be easy instead of all star cross'd n dramatic...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does she know your Fiona side? If not could you live without Fiona if you got together again, trouble with suppressing and hiding your true inner sexuality is it always rears its head in the future

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try Bisexuality on for size and see how it fits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you do in your private life behind closed doors is your business & the person you are with. It is no concern of anyone elses. You are not firkin gay - bi sexual .. Yes.

If you want to meet her then go meet her. See where is leads with no expectations. x

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By *ionaScarlet OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee


"Try Bisexuality on for size and see how it fits. "

lmao - I think you missed the point - I *am* bisexual But you are from up my way... you know yourself that being gay is barely a thing up in that part of the world - let alone the idea of gender fluidity and bisexuality lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

did you not know that black people and white people can make love and have babies that are both.

see

not everything in life is black and white.

the fact you still find her alluring/attractive/sexy suggests you arent gay at all.

one could also summise that its maybe, just maybe, the fact the feelings of all those years ago may well be clouding your judgement.

have had it myself where i would have cheated on my ex wife with one of my ex girlfriends (my first love as a matter of fact) but when we met, she had changed so much, and so had i, we werent the same people and those old feelings that had got me to agree to go for a drink soon dissipated.

maybe a face to face meet, in a pub somewhere, with no alterior motive would settle things once and for all.

either way, dont stop yourself from being you just to make others hapy or more accepting

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By *ionaScarlet OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee


"Does she know your Fiona side? If not could you live without Fiona if you got together again, trouble with suppressing and hiding your true inner sexuality is it always rears its head in the future "

No she doesn't... and I don't know how that will go. Probably it might be easier if it put her off me a bit, cos if it doesn't then all I can see is train wreck. But that's my head talking...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

she's married.....your sexuality is second consideration

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By *ionaScarlet OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee


"she's married.....your sexuality is second consideration "

I know... I'm getting from her that she's not real happy but at the same time I don't wanna be responsible for causing any further problems... again - head talking...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"she's married.....your sexuality is second consideration

I know... I'm getting from her that she's not real happy but at the same time I don't wanna be responsible for causing any further problems... again - head talking..."

I have never listened to my head in my life but I'm very good at telling other people to .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try Bisexuality on for size and see how it fits.

lmao - I think you missed the point - I *am* bisexual But you are from up my way... you know yourself that being gay is barely a thing up in that part of the world - let alone the idea of gender fluidity and bisexuality lol."

oh I dunno, doing my best to push it here now. We have an LGBT club night here now, and last night I was making men question their sexuality all over town. So things change.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try talking!!! Lust is one thing. Destiny and love is another.

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By *ionaScarlet OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee


"Try talking!!! Lust is one thing. Destiny and love is another. "

ummm we do.. late into the night.. on the phone and on FB... thats kinda causing the problem. I should clarify... when I lost this girl I didn't just lose a girlfriend - I lost my best friend too. We used to do everything together.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Try talking!!! Lust is one thing. Destiny and love is another.

ummm we do.. late into the night.. on the phone and on FB... thats kinda causing the problem. I should clarify... when I lost this girl I didn't just lose a girlfriend - I lost my best friend too. We used to do everything together."

I'm inclined to think that if people are meant to be together, if they really want to be but one of them is married then they should be honest with themselves, each other and the partner who stands to be hurt. If however you don't really want to be together but enjoy the thought of star crossed lovers kept apart by fate and circumstance I would say move on and use your energy on a relationship that is going to go somewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Try talking!!! Lust is one thing. Destiny and love is another.

ummm we do.. late into the night.. on the phone and on FB... thats kinda causing the problem. I should clarify... when I lost this girl I didn't just lose a girlfriend - I lost my best friend too. We used to do everything together.

I'm inclined to think that if people are meant to be together, if they really want to be but one of them is married then they should be honest with themselves, each other and the partner who stands to be hurt. If however you don't really want to be together but enjoy the thought of star crossed lovers kept apart by fate and circumstance I would say move on and use your energy on a relationship that is going to go somewhere."

nicecouple speaks some true words there if only life was so black and white!! Not always as easy as that

what i will say however life moves on... Maybe you both missed your path

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By *ionaScarlet OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Dundee


"Try talking!!! Lust is one thing. Destiny and love is another.

ummm we do.. late into the night.. on the phone and on FB... thats kinda causing the problem. I should clarify... when I lost this girl I didn't just lose a girlfriend - I lost my best friend too. We used to do everything together.

I'm inclined to think that if people are meant to be together, if they really want to be but one of them is married then they should be honest with themselves, each other and the partner who stands to be hurt. If however you don't really want to be together but enjoy the thought of star crossed lovers kept apart by fate and circumstance I would say move on and use your energy on a relationship that is going to go somewhere."

You're right of course - I'm making a drama out of this aren't I. Jeez... honestly.. I'm not usually this kind of batshit crazy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So recently an ex girlfriend I haven't seen in over 15 years gets in touch with me on FB, and after the last couple of nights chatting to her its become pretty clear that there's no way we could be trusted alone in the same room together for more than 5 minutes. The spark is so still there and basically my world has just been slammed right upside down.

The trouble is... she's married and I'm supposed to be... well frickin' gay! WTF! My head is screaming "flee" while my heart is doing backflips!

I have no idea what I'm doing here..."

You are luxuriating in the drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So recently an ex girlfriend I haven't seen in over 15 years gets in touch with me on FB, and after the last couple of nights chatting to her its become pretty clear that there's no way we could be trusted alone in the same room together for more than 5 minutes. The spark is so still there and basically my world has just been slammed right upside down.

The trouble is... she's married and I'm supposed to be... well frickin' gay! WTF! My head is screaming "flee" while my heart is doing backflips!

I have no idea what I'm doing here..."

You are luxuriating in the drama

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Try talking!!! Lust is one thing. Destiny and love is another.

ummm we do.. late into the night.. on the phone and on FB... thats kinda causing the problem. I should clarify... when I lost this girl I didn't just lose a girlfriend - I lost my best friend too. We used to do everything together.

I'm inclined to think that if people are meant to be together, if they really want to be but one of them is married then they should be honest with themselves, each other and the partner who stands to be hurt. If however you don't really want to be together but enjoy the thought of star crossed lovers kept apart by fate and circumstance I would say move on and use your energy on a relationship that is going to go somewhere.

You're right of course - I'm making a drama out of this aren't I. Jeez... honestly.. I'm not usually this kind of batshit crazy!"

Lol! Being batshit crazy is ok and having the odd drama is fine it keeps the adrenalin pumping. You at least take comments in the spirit they are intended which makes me think that you are now only bat crazy you are over the shit part

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Welcome to the curse of Facebook

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By *uck_us_hardCouple
over a year ago

N.E Lincolnshire

What does she want? Yes she may want to get in your knickers but does she intend to take things further or even leave her partner? If not the decision has been made for you I'm afraid

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