FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Quite Frightened

Jump to newest
 

By *TownGHole OP   Man
over a year ago

Johnstone

I was wondering if anyone had any advice when it all goes a bit tong and there's threats of violence made towards you off site? Someone thinks I've recorded our meet (totally haven't, never would) and uploaded it. Individual is quite paranoid and I've tried to reassure them countless times, but terrified I'm going to get killed.

Has anyone experienced this before? I am unsure what to do? Do I just continue to reassure and hope it all goes away?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

report the person, do they know where you live. What makes them think you have recorded the meet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are not being overly dramatic and genuinely believe that he might kill you, surely the only thing you can do is speak to the police?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TownGHole OP   Man
over a year ago

Johnstone

They're no longer on the site. This is all happened off site through a messaging app. I had no idea this had happened and they know where I stay. They're saying people have acted weird to them and they just believe I've put out pics or videos of a meet. I 100% haven't. I don't even know why that'd be an option. They have just jumped to this conclusion and no matter how many times I say, it still repeats.

I don't know whether to stop replying cause I think it's my reassurances that are stopping it escalating, but there are threats of violence in case I have. Which I know I haven't so there's "nothing to show". But still... freaking out. Just want it all to stop so badly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there are threats of violence then inform the police and stop replying to their messages!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Police. In my opinion your only option unless you know someone who can have a quiet word but this individual sounds slightly unhinged. You will need a diary of times and dates a note of what has been said and any evidence in the form of texts, voicemails or messages.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stop replying, delete them from your messaging app & anything else you communicate on ie fabs / email. If you feel that threatened I would speak to the police for advice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TownGHole OP   Man
over a year ago

Johnstone

Thank you.

I've got all the messages as they don't delete. I wouldn't mind if they didn't know where I lived because although I know that there's nothing for them to "discover" online, their paranoia has led them to threatening to stab or cut me. They vanished for a month, but messaged out the blue earlier today and it's got me so worked up in my home, I'm now really panicky.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Police. In my opinion your only option unless you know someone who can have a quiet word but this individual sounds slightly unhinged. You will need a diary of times and dates a note of what has been said and any evidence in the form of texts, voicemails or messages."

This

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you.

I've got all the messages as they don't delete. I wouldn't mind if they didn't know where I lived because although I know that there's nothing for them to "discover" online, their paranoia has led them to threatening to stab or cut me. They vanished for a month, but messaged out the blue earlier today and it's got me so worked up in my home, I'm now really panicky."

If you are truly worried about your safety in your own home then don't waste anymore time! Call the police and inform them!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

So basically its a chap who is not out terrified that you have filmed taken pics.. He is feeling guilty having met you and is now paranoid about people looking and suspecting him.

Oh dear, maybe a lesson that you never take anyone home with you, never give a stranger your real name. Make sure what is said is documented if threats are being made go to the police with details. Change ur fone number or just block the chap,

be more careful in future.

good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You usually find that if someone threatens you with violence nothing comes of it

If he/she was going to fill you in they would just do it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TownGHole OP   Man
over a year ago

Johnstone

Thanks to everyone for their messages. Valuable lessons have been learned indeed. Just being able to actually voice my fears makes them seem a lot easier to handle. Difficult when I've got no-one I can really speak to about it. But yes, lesson has been learned from this.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

You're welcome and I hope it all ends well.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

get some pepper spray .. £9.99 online and handy for spaghetti if not?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had this problem with a girl who I didn't want to be friends with anymore was threatening to put me in hospital and she knew where I live, she now has a police warning for harassment but luckily I have had no trouble as of yet so keeping my fingers crossed until I move in 5 or 6 months

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"I was wondering if anyone had any advice when it all goes a bit tong and there's threats of violence made towards you off site? Someone thinks I've recorded our meet (totally haven't, never would) and uploaded it. Individual is quite paranoid and I've tried to reassure them countless times, but terrified I'm going to get killed.

Has anyone experienced this before? I am unsure what to do? Do I just continue to reassure and hope it all goes away?"

Guilt has set in. Think about it, if he's so paranoid you've taken pictures do you really think he's going to attack you and risk having his name and face plastered across the tabloids in "gay" crime?!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uy4couplesMan
over a year ago

south kent

get some cameras up that tape 24 7 28 days of a month the (swann make with 4 camreas) so if they did come anywhere near your home they will be vioed then you have the evidence of who they are , for the police to knock on there door

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uy4couplesMan
over a year ago

south kent

like the op said its guilt , if he sent you a face picture and like vesa, his realized that anyone can add there picture to there site, maybe he doesn't want his wife knowing or kids so it could be his way out is for him to give you threats to avoid his wife knowing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff


"Thank you.

I've got all the messages as they don't delete. I wouldn't mind if they didn't know where I lived because although I know that there's nothing for them to "discover" online, their paranoia has led them to threatening to stab or cut me. They vanished for a month, but messaged out the blue earlier today and it's got me so worked up in my home, I'm now really panicky."

I would have thought it's a good thing you can't delete them. Could come on handy of you want the police to see what's going on here.

All the best with this. The closest I came to this was getting text messages off someone I once met. They didn't know where I lived though. It seemed impossible to believe at the time, but eventually they got bored by my lack of response.

I'm not saying it's the same as your situation though - I'd go to the police.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like he has the closet guilt jitters and is lashing out.

I'd inform the police of the threat but I doubt he would come near you again.... He will want to keep his distance. Best to not respond I reckon.

Good luck mate, be careful who you invite over in future.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lentyoffun40Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

Switch your secret camera back on

If they come to get ya .. It's all on tape again !!

;-)

Serious note ... Just ignore them

People who make threats are full of shit in general

If people are so annoyed they just react without thinking

Chill out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I was wondering if anyone had any advice when it all goes a bit tong and there's threats of violence made towards you off site? Someone thinks I've recorded our meet (totally haven't, never would) and uploaded it. Individual is quite paranoid and I've tried to reassure them countless times, but terrified I'm going to get killed.

Has anyone experienced this before? I am unsure what to do? Do I just continue to reassure and hope it all goes away?

Guilt has set in. Think about it, if he's so paranoid you've taken pictures do you really think he's going to attack you and risk having his name and face plastered across the tabloids in "gay" crime?!!"

As ever, reasoned comment.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *unkydesignCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

I firmly believe that all threats should be taken seriously. Threats to stab or cut you are a serious matter.

Save the messages. Inform the police. They will contact him and give him a warning. If he still persists they will arrest and charge him, which would probably lead to his friends and family discovering his "secret". It sounds like that would be the last thing he wants.

Don't let a pathetic little bully ruin your life. The police will see him off for you. Good luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had similar problems with a few men and i went to the police who had a word with said men and i have had no trouble from them since.

I dont think the guys thought i would go to the police but swinging isnt a crime and the police were brilliant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 12/12/13 07:16:48]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

This is the reason I keep all contact on here and don't give out my number until I'm really comfortable with someone.

Swinging is not illegal, not even if it's with a married person of the same sex. Go to the police - a visit from some uniforms and a warning will be very effective for someone who is paranoid about being found out!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe that a person gets threatened and asks for advice on here. Surely you must go and report it. You have evidence on phone so do it before it gets out of hand.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

[Removed by poster at 10/03/20 06:34:45]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

Do bear in mind the police will probably confiscate your computers and phone to check you have no video. They are helpful that way.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

Just ignore and move on, your giving it to much thought....keyboard warriors

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this has been opened after a year the guy may not be living now

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

You never know .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etwifeandhim69Couple
over a year ago

Darlington


"Thank you.

I've got all the messages as they don't delete. I wouldn't mind if they didn't know where I lived because although I know that there's nothing for them to "discover" online, their paranoia has led them to threatening to stab or cut me. They vanished for a month, but messaged out the blue earlier today and it's got me so worked up in my home, I'm now really panicky."

Stop communicating and go to the police. Either the person is a lunatic or it's a build up to an extortion attempt.

Eitherway, if they're doing it to you they'll do it to someone else. Best to protect yourself and nip this in the bud now.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aulupforitMan
over a year ago

Corbridge


"this has been opened after a year the guy may not be living now "

The guy that posted the first message is online tonight so all must be well unless somebody has stole his ID etc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent


"this has been opened after a year the guy may not be living now

The guy that posted the first message is online tonight so all must be well unless somebody has stole his ID etc"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this has been opened after a year the guy may not be living now

The guy that posted the first message is online tonight so all must be well unless somebody has stole his ID etc

"
ahhhh sigh of relief, wonder if vids still circulating

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

Video of what ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

[Removed by poster at 13/03/20 22:56:38]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm intrigued...what happened?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etite_delightWoman
over a year ago

BunnyLand


"I'm intrigued...what happened? "

me too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent


"I'm intrigued...what happened?

me too "

Anyone know ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ral ExtraordinaireMan
over a year ago

Kent

?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *TownGHole OP   Man
over a year ago

Johnstone

Lol I'm alive and well. Nothing happened or came of it. Never heard from him again and now I'm extra careful with meets. Lesson was learned!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aidForSharingWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire


"You usually find that if someone threatens you with violence nothing comes of it

If he/she was going to fill you in they would just do it "

Not true. Try watching a few murder documentaries. Threats sometimes go on for years before a victim is killed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago

N Peterborough.


"You usually find that if someone threatens you with violence nothing comes of it

If he/she was going to fill you in they would just do it

Not true. Try watching a few murder documentaries. Threats sometimes go on for years before a victim is killed."

This.

And everyone saying go to police have obviously had no real life experience of this sort of situation. Police won't protect you, only fill out a witness statement after anything has happened. They're one side of the same coin, criminals are on the other. Best to avoid the situation, if anything develops into a problem then resolve it yourself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aulupforitMan
over a year ago

Corbridge

Pleased you came on here to say all is well.Good Luck & stay safe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aulupforitMan
over a year ago

Corbridge


"Lol I'm alive and well. Nothing happened or came of it. Never heard from him again and now I'm extra careful with meets. Lesson was learned! "

Pleased you came on here to say all is well.Have fun& Stay Safe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If there are threats of violence then inform the police and stop replying to their messages! "

Totally. Only way to go.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe stay off the drugs OP

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol I'm alive and well. Nothing happened or came of it. Never heard from him again and now I'm extra careful with meets. Lesson was learned! "

I’ve been waiting over a year for you to tell me this. What a cliffhanger

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had something similar with someone who knows me irl - in fact they introduced me to fab, but couldn't accept it was over.

I ended up deleting my old profile (this one has a slightly different name) ...and spent 3 weeks sleeping with the light on and doors double locked .. I was frightened for my life at one point, but it sounds dramatic saying it now.

Advice I got at the time was to save everything, go to the police

Glad you are ok.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top