FabSwingers.com forum: Orgasms

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok I'm sure this has been touched on before. I find it hard if not bloody impossible to cum full stop not just on a meet. I enjoy every min I'm with someone but it just doesn't happen. Any advice to help me relax?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok I'm sure this has been touched on before. I find it hard if not bloody impossible to cum full stop not just on a meet. I enjoy every min I'm with someone but it just doesn't happen. Any advice to help me relax? "

I guess this is something for another female to answer

Hope you find a solution though ...given all that women have to go through, their orgasms should regular and monumental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry about it, this is more common than you think. The main thing is that you still get pleasure.

In the meantime learn how to make yourself climax. If it takes a particular toy, then include this on a meet.

I don't ever rely on a guy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can with my bullet toy

I just get to the edge and my mind seems to freak out and won't let me go over sometimes even on my own!

I let my last meet use my toy. He was very good and very attentive and understanding and very nearly did

Thanks for all your advice x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can with my bullet toy

I just get to the edge and my mind seems to freak out and won't let me go over sometimes even on my own!

I let my last meet use my toy. He was very good and very attentive and understanding and very nearly did

Thanks for all your advice x"

I find it depends on where I am within my menstruation cycle. It can mean the difference between minutes and hours even with me knowing what buttons to press.

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

I'm the same hun. Its very frustrating isn't it? I get fantastic pleasure regardless of an orgasm but it would be nice to have one. I can orgasm but never know how or when its going to happen. With my own partner I'm more likely to but I think the emotion is attached there to be honest. Still. It can be very very frustrating for him too because he is good at what he does!

Give me a shout if a miracle comes along please....lol!

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

relax and either let them take you or, you do all the running. My mantra for best meets is "you've both got to be smiling at the end". By that I mean fits of laughter.

It may be the meets you are choosing .. just enjoy it and keep in mind you owe them nothing, it's you that is getting your rocks off not them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Girlies..im the same..i can manage it in my own but can never seem to relax enough with my partner let alone on meets x x very frustrating x x

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

I have been told by a few people I should write my memoirs.

If 50 shades can sell, I think I stand a chance!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends on the lady and the man, if they are not gelling together, she may never climax, but a tentative guy will do what ever brings her to orgasm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont agree ive been with my partner 16 years hes very attentive..think its all in our heads ladies x

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By *izzly1Couple
over a year ago

here

According to T... its a lot to do with breathing correctly and correct mental relaxation.. 50% to 75% of a female orgasm is mental (an average in studies..some women more some less).. so if the mind isnt there then body rarely follows thru without it... sometimes its good to know someone who knows all this crap and sometimes is bloody annoying... tho helped me no end hahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep fizzy totally agree x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some men are realy good they play with my clit the way i like it and i have the best orgasms ever especialy if i have another man to play with or suck.

the man must have very short fingernails though because i have sensitve skin, use lots of lube, relaxed but tensing my muscles from the waist down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone knows the Female Orgasm is a myth dont they ?runs for the Door

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By *izzly1Couple
over a year ago

here

"Yep fizzy totally agree x"

I will let tony know.. haha. Its part of his studies.. and im his sodding guinea pig... tho I complain it is bloody good fun... just dont tell him

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Girlies..im the same..i can manage it in my own but can never seem to relax enough with my partner let alone on meets x x very frustrating x x

Im the same and I hate feeling guilty that I cant do it.

It has always been difficult for me more so now I am on antidepressants.

Doesn't mean I enjoy it less.

It isnt anyones 'fault at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh cin same here cud be that ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if a man cant make me cum i use my lady bug rabbit vibrator, the more lube you use the better the sensation you get.

the rabbit ears stimulate my clit and the sides and around it.

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By *izzly1Couple
over a year ago

here

"Oh cin same here cud be that ?

Antidepressants? It depends on the type..

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"I can with my bullet toy

I just get to the edge and my mind seems to freak out and won't let me go over sometimes even on my own!

I let my last meet use my toy. He was very good and very attentive and understanding and very nearly did

Thanks for all your advice x

I find it depends on where I am within my menstruation cycle. It can mean the difference between minutes and hours even with me knowing what buttons to press.

Very interesting point, I've also noticed that mid cycle and just before a period I cum very easily, at other times it takes longer, although if your head/brain is in the right place, its half the battle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep get your sexy self up to Bonnie Scotland we can sort that little hiccup out in a jiffy.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Citalopram..Find it hard to cum at all on these

used to work better on Efexor but Doc insisted I change... Oh well one gets used to it.

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

"Girlies..im the same..i can manage it in my own but can never seem to relax enough with my partner let alone on meets x x very frustrating x x

I'm the same. On my own I can several times over! Its in the mind I think... x

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

"Everyone knows the Female Orgasm is a myth dont they ?runs for the Door

Lmao!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have sex with a woman (hint hint

)

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

It depends on the lady and the man, if they are not gelling together, she may never climax, but a tentative guy will do what ever brings her to orgasm

I definitely do not agree with this. My fella is extremely attentive but its psychological I'm afraid. Its all in the mind....well...mostly.

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

"Have sex with a woman (hint hint

)

Still doesn't work.... its not for not trying. God loves a tryer...

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

antidepressants don't help matters

if im not that keen on the bloke I find it difficult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd been having sex for 2 years before I had my first orgasm (which was with a woman......oh that's what it's supposed to feel like) didn't say much for my bf at the time (he woz shite!) Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd been having sex for 2 years before I had my first orgasm (which was with a woman......oh that's what it's supposed to feel like) didn't say much for my bf at the time (he woz shite!) Lol

The thought had crossed my mind ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Citalopram..Find it hard to cum at all on these

used to work better on Efexor but Doc insisted I change... Oh well one gets used to it.

If you suffer with high blood pressure then effexor is no good.

Message me if you want one-to-one chat about it.

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By *oojCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Go with the flow and enjoy the experience even if no orgasm at the end, did that myself and one time it did happen and has now developed into multi's.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Citalopram..Find it hard to cum at all on these

used to work better on Efexor but Doc insisted I change... Oh well one gets used to it.

If you suffer with high blood pressure then effexor is no good.

Message me if you want one-to-one chat about it."

Thank you if you meant me .. My blood pressure is quite low actually. I had been on it about 7 years maybe thought i needed a change. Cant message you i'm too old

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It helps if your partner can help you relax, i spend as much time as needed during foreplay just touching lightly and stroking gently her entire body but excluding genitals, to get my partner relaxed enough, so much so that ive often had her orgasm on the very first touch on her pussy.

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

"It helps if your partner can help you relax, i spend as much time as needed during foreplay just touching lightly and stroking gently her entire body but excluding genitals, to get my partner relaxed enough, so much so that ive often had her orgasm on the very first touch on her pussy."

Lucky lady! We have tried all sorts including the above. Its all in my mind because now and again I orgasm too quickly. That's a very rare occasion though....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a man and can suffer from this, I just need to be relaxed I've had it happen in play I'm just about to cum and a lady has asked me to shoot all over her Tits and that's it for live it money in not cumming

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh well this is not much help to you I know ! But I'm so glad I'm not alone here !!!!!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"antidepressants don't help matters

if im not that keen on the bloke I find it difficult"

Why on earth would you be having sex with someone you're not keen on?

Personally I don't have this problem but I always make sure I have a good mental connection. Plan the meet in advance so that you can have a bit of teasing and flirting before. The mental part has to be right before the body will get there.......and 100% never have sex with someone you're "not keen on"!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/11/13 08:49:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't let it worry me now and I'm more relaxed and enjoy myself much more than when I used to worry about it. I can gush and sometimes even squirt and my legs will turn to jelly and shake like crazy. It's a fantastic feeling lol but I don't always orgasm. I can when I use my toy on myself though

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

"I don't let it worry me now and I'm more relaxed and enjoy myself much more than when I used to worry about it. I can gush and sometimes even squirt and my legs will turn to jelly and shake like crazy. It's a fantastic feeling lol but I don't always orgasm. I can when I use my toy on myself though

Sounds exactly like me. All of the enjoyment is there but not always a grande finale...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds all very familiar. Yes I can gush, but that's not the same as an orgasm. That only happens if there's no rush, if I can relax totally, and if I can use fantasies/images in my head. It doesn't always work, mind. I used to get worked up about it, but now I just make sure I enjoy the meets. The aim of sex shouldn't be the orgasm. If there's not chemistry and overall pleasure, then indeed what's the point?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The aim of sex shouldn't be the orgasm. If there's not chemistry and overall pleasure, then indeed what's the point? "

I agree 100%.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life begins at 40. I had my 1st one after turning 40. But wasnt until I met my current partner before I experienced them more regular. Relaxing is the key

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

"Sounds all very familiar. Yes I can gush, but that's not the same as an orgasm. That only happens if there's no rush, if I can relax totally, and if I can use fantasies/images in my head. It doesn't always work, mind. I used to get worked up about it, but now I just make sure I enjoy the meets. The aim of sex shouldn't be the orgasm. If there's not chemistry and overall pleasure, then indeed what's the point? "

Spot on!

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By *oodles696969Woman
over a year ago

Chelmsford

You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always tell meets orgasms don't come easy. Never a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens? "

I dont as it's not an issue for me. Plus it would put them under pressure thinking it was something they had to try to achieve. Go with the flow is my advice lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens? "

I'm so very glad I'm not alone either!! Yes I normally say don't want to hurt the ego

. You always get the ones though who think it's a personal goal to achieve it which makes it worst for me ha ha

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By *leasures4Couple
over a year ago

East midlands

"You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens? "

We haven't had many meets. But i haven't/ wouldn't probably mention it due to the fact I get so horny and enjoy the pleasure immensely even if I don't orgasm..

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

can I add that some men do too much foreplay then I can get bored and want to finish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens? "

I never tell meets. Otherwise they get all uptight and have to prove how 'good' they are. Instant turn off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens?"

"I never tell meets. Otherwise they get all uptight and have to prove how 'good' they are. Instant turn off."

I just tell them not to concentrate on making me orgasm, as it's often not happening. And that's fine. Depends on the kind of bloke, methinks - the relaxed type.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens?

I never tell meets. Otherwise they get all uptight and have to prove how 'good' they are. Instant turn off.

I just tell them not to concentrate on making me orgasm, as it's often not happening. And that's fine. Depends on the kind of bloke, methinks - the relaxed type."

I think that is the best way.. not to be fixated on orgasm but enjoy what you are doing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You ladies have just made me feel much better! Glad I'm not the only one! Do you mention it to meets? Or wait and see what happens?

I never tell meets. Otherwise they get all uptight and have to prove how 'good' they are. Instant turn off.

I just tell them not to concentrate on making me orgasm, as it's often not happening. And that's fine. Depends on the kind of bloke, methinks - the relaxed type."

I tell guys I never rely on them to give me an orgasm as no matter how good they think they are, their tongue/fingers/cock will never buzz fast or hard enough

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I used to find it hard to orgasm as well. But I have had wonderful partners who saw that I was close but would fight it. They taught me that I had to push on through. Now I rarely just get one. They seem to come in waves.

I think you will have them when you are in the right frame of mind. An experienced and patient partner helps as well as I still struggle to give myself one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all about being relaxed, a nice massage, soft sensual touching / kissing, exploring the erogenous zones and not just diving in for the clit or g-spot, it's a marathon not a sprint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's all about being relaxed, a nice massage, soft sensual touching / kissing, exploring the erogenous zones and not just diving in for the clit or g-spot, it's a marathon not a sprint

Make it a nice stroll on a warm day, slow and intimate, and I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop worrying about it and don't thin k about it. Is it maybe that as you get near the edge you think about it & thus prevent yourself from letting go.

Stressing and worrying about it will only make it worse.

Too mush emphasis on making a women orgasm or gush/squirt. Just relax & enjoy the moment. Provided both parties are pleasured & have fun then all is well. xx

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

Try and work out what types of stimulation work for U, maybe try different toy types.

I often don't cum from sex, and im a male

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Guys thank you so much. I think a lot of it is a state of mind so going to try and relax and explain to the next man it's not a conquest lol x

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"It's all about being relaxed, a nice massage, soft sensual touching / kissing, exploring the erogenous zones and not just diving in for the clit or g-spot, it's a marathon not a sprint

Make it a nice stroll on a warm day, slow and intimate, and I agree "

Nothing better than having some quality time in the Tyne valley, indoors or outdoors, maybe some fun thrown in too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Citalopram..Find it hard to cum at all on these

used to work better on Efexor but Doc insisted I change... Oh well one gets used to it.

Citalopram does effect the ability to orgasm. When I was on them, I could rarely orgasm, and when I did, it felt like a let down

. Thankfully not on them anymore. X

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By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville

DIY

Do not rely on anyone to make you orgasm . Help your partner to help you .

But you need to know what gets you to those fizzy heights .

Most of the orgasm happens in the brain not the body parts

(for me anyway )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If this helps anyone, your moisture can decline after menopause..nette

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Become less straight and have sex with a woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If this helps anyone, your moisture can decline after menopause..nette

Want to see my dry cleaning bill?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If this helps anyone, your moisture can decline after menopause..nette

Want to see my dry cleaning bill?

"
lucky lady, some do, some dont..part of life

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By *renchbambi xWoman
over a year ago

Need to know basis

Its only happened twice and I put it all down to the person's skills and patience.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really can't help but feel some of you are having sex with the wrong people if you can't orgasm.

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