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Distance

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I've mailed people who are a good distance away who can accomodate, but when i mail them, IF they can be arsed to reply is to say i'm too far away!

If I'm doing the travelling what's the problem? they never say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe they think that when the time comes to meet you may decide you'd rather stay on the sofa and have a wank than make the effort of travelling a long way for a fuck

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Preference...

I for one will only travel so far... and won't meet people who would be travelling further than I'd be willing to.

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By *lexavierWoman
over a year ago

north birmingham

Also the time taken whilst someone a long distance from you is travelling to you... can be spent so much better with someone local!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Also

the time taken whilst someone a long distance from you is travelling to

you... can be spent so much better with someone local! "

well yes, but it'll be easy for you being a woman. being a single fella I've exhausted the local ones and lookin further. not too far though.. lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Maybe

they think that when the time comes to meet you may decide you'd rather

stay on the sofa and have a wank than make the effort of travelling a

long way for a fuck "

you mean they think i could be a timewaster

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I refuse to meet people outside my local area because I wouldn't expect someone to travel 100s of miles just for sex. If they're already in the area for a trip though then no problem.

In the 3 years I've been on this site I have had many messages from men who have volunteered to travel miles to meet me and 9 times out of 10 they've cancelled. So it's being pragmatic to assume that its not likely to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps it's just a nice way of saying that they aren't interested. Blaming distance rather than saying you're not their type.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Perhaps

it's just a nice way of saying that they aren't interested. Blaming

distance rather than saying you're not their type. "

the thought had crossed my mind.

i'm not travelling 100s of miles..

usually lookin upto no more than 50. another thought was they may think i'd be pushy after travelling and they wern't interested.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had someone travel over 150 miles to see me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had someone travel over 150 miles to see me "

bloody hell..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had someone travel over 150 miles to see me

bloody hell.. "

Its not that shocking,One of my friends drove from Wales to Kent to meet us for the evening

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had someone travel over 150 miles to see me "

this is a typical example. she's been on here 3 months and had 9... nine.. NINE!?!!!! feckin meets and I havenlt even been told to get lost or bugger off email.. not fair at all I tell yer!

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

We drove 230 miles at the weekend to meet, well worth the effort though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had someone travel over 150 miles to see me

bloody hell..

Its not that shocking,One of my friends drove from Wales to Kent to meet us for the evening "

oh wow.. you mean someone you already know as friends drove that far?

not exactly in the same context though is it?!. lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had someone travel over 150 miles to see me

bloody hell..

Its not that shocking,One of my friends drove from Wales to Kent to meet us for the evening

oh wow.. you mean someone you already know as friends drove that far?

not exactly in the same context though is it?!. lol "

no but don't worry if you did'nt understand ....lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We drove 230 miles at the weekend to meet, well worth the effort though "

I'll say! love the pics.. just been perving them xlol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've mailed people who are a good distance away who can accomodate, but when i mail them, IF they can be arsed to reply is to say i'm too far away!

If I'm doing the travelling what's the problem? they never say. "

We had someone who travelled over 2 hours to see us when he arrived was nothing like his pictures or how he had portrayed himself on the phone and in messages...because he'd travelled for so long we felt such a sense of obligation to him that despite our sense of better judgement, we allowed him to join us and the other local friend we had here and it was truly awful...and then we couldn't get rid of him both on the night and following on...we vowed never to do that again, a social beforehand is an absolute requirement and if you're too far away to make that feasible them we won't go ahead...by the way, he's no longer on site and this was under a different profile name in case anyone is offended on his behalf...

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By *ucy and CarlCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

In the past we have found that people who say they will travel miles cancel at the last minute. Not only that if they turn up and they are not my type there is a sense of pressure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe they think that when the time comes to meet you may decide you'd rather stay on the sofa and have a wank than make the effort of travelling a long way for a fuck "
bloody good idea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would feel obliged to have sex with someone if they traveled too far but what if we didnt like each other ..so I would only meet someone local and have a social first wouldnt want someone to put themselfs out too much then I or he decides it not what they want ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won't let people travel a distance I cannot; meeting halfway is okay but I really couldn't afford to do it regularly plus I would worry having travelled say 3-4 hrs and booked a hotel, they would expect sex as someone else has said so whilst I have chatted and turned down guys I would love to say yes to, the distance they would have to travel to meet me, I will just stick to my guns and turn them down

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We often say that people are too far away and its because we insist in meeting socially and wouldn't ask anyone to travel more than an hour for that, when we say accommodate we don't mean overnight or sometimes its a nice way of bringing the conversation to an end. Also sometimes peoples geography isn't great and they assume that the outer Hebrides is a ten minute drive from the south coast.

Don't lose heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fairly early in our Fab life we realised that the more a person had to travel for a meet the more likely they were to cancel. Thats an undeniable fact.

If there were a shortage of 1st class local opportunities then we might be prepared to take the risk of increased cancellations but there is not.

So why bother?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had someone travel over 150 miles to see me

this is a typical example. she's been on here 3 months and had 9... nine.. NINE!?!!!! feckin meets and I havenlt even been told to get lost or bugger off email.. not fair at all I tell yer! "

The first two verifications were guys I met under a different incarnation. .

I've been on and off fab for over 18 months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are 50 people within 10 miles of most of us, travelling any further comes across as desperation.

Also no reply is a nice way of saying your not my type.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do travel with work occasionally, but am wary if saying "I'm in your area " as I know it is often frowned upon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There are 50 people within 10 miles of most of us, travelling any further comes across as desperation.

Also no reply is a nice way of saying your not my type."

Actually it can say the opposite .

At the end of the day it depends on the two people involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I accomodate but its a bit risky having someone you dont really know staying the night. I was seeing someone who used to travel from london, i only agreed to meet him because he lied about how far away he was and said he lived much nearer.

He came to see me for a few months then he met someone else and wasnt so keen.

He said there was too much trafic on the road, being the school summer holidays, he was late so i called him, and he said he would have to turn round and go back home because it would be too late by the time he got here.

Some men in the past have said they didnt mind driving, then they moaned about how far it was and the trafic when they got here. Its pointless realy.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People make a decision on whether to proceed based on their own factors - we will likely never know what these are for each of them, and what they state as the reasons may not always be the case.

Most of us want major factors such as simplicity, ie lack of complications, lack of pressure and flexibility on how to proceed, once we've met potential partners. Long distance increases possible complications, pressure and reduces some flexibility. What if people would prefer at least one social short meet, prior to sex happening, if it even does? If someone is visiting and staying for a few days in an area then that may be possible, but for repeated trips, with the sole purpose of a social meet or possible sex, people won't definitely say it, but they may feel some level of dissonance, where they're not quite comfortable with it.

The benefit of more local meets is that, coupled with a heavy dose of life committments, such as families, work etc, they can be fairly rapidly completed, should other partners also be available, at reasonable short notice. This diminishes over distance.

I meet people for long distance meets, as I travel a fair bit - the travel is sometimes a pain, but some fun can redress this. I don't though travel exclusively for a meet, the meet is just coincidental.

If the op is regularly in another area, then perhaps you could add that place into your profile: it won't magically alter people's preferences, but could help them to understand that you may be a potential regular meet: some of us prefer regular vs. one-offs.

If you fancy casting your net further afield, consider arranging other activities somewhere, potentially booking a hotel etc, and then post in the meets section. If you don't get a meet, you'd still enjoy the Tate Gallery, the new Birmingham Library, the Museum of Fans, the Pencil Museum etc. I'm sure you'd find some better stuff to also do. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"People make a decision on whether to proceed based on their own factors - we will likely never know what these are for each of them, and what they state as the reasons may not always be the case.

Most of us want major factors such as simplicity, ie lack of complications, lack of pressure and flexibility on how to proceed, once we've met potential partners. Long distance increases possible complications, pressure and reduces some flexibility. What if people would prefer at least one social short meet, prior to sex happening, if it even does? If someone is visiting and staying for a few days in an area then that may be possible, but for repeated trips, with the sole purpose of a social meet or possible sex, people won't definitely say it, but they may feel some level of dissonance, where they're not quite comfortable with it.

The benefit of more local meets is that, coupled with a heavy dose of life committments, such as families, work etc, they can be fairly rapidly completed, should other partners also be available, at reasonable short notice. This diminishes over distance.

I meet people for long distance meets, as I travel a fair bit - the travel is sometimes a pain, but some fun can redress this. I don't though travel exclusively for a meet, the meet is just coincidental.

If the op is regularly in another area, then perhaps you could add that place into your profile: it won't magically alter people's preferences, but could help them to understand that you may be a potential regular meet: some of us prefer regular vs. one-offs.

If you fancy casting your net further afield, consider arranging other activities somewhere, potentially booking a hotel etc, and then post in the meets section. If you don't get a meet, you'd still enjoy the Tate Gallery, the new Birmingham Library, the Museum of Fans, the Pencil Museum etc. I'm sure you'd find some better stuff to also do. Good luck!"

So eloquently put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Indeed. I had someone travel 2.5 hrs to meet me, and despite the fact it was wonderful, there won't be a repeat as he really underestimated the travel involved. Once over halfway he decided to continue, but there won't be a follow up. Understandable but a pity nevertheless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If anyone travelled a good distance for a meet I doubt very much they be physically or even mentally in the right frame of mind.

Travel can be and is often quite stressful and a good meet needs all concerned to be happy and relaxed.

Best to stay local imo and to say you've exhausted the local talent,is not a great thing to say either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once....when I was young and very very adventurous, went to Seattle for a shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If anyone travelled a good distance for a meet I doubt very much they be physically or even mentally in the right frame of mind.

Travel can be and is often quite stressful and a good meet needs all concerned to be happy and relaxed.

Best to stay local imo and to say you've exhausted the local talent,is not a great thing to say either

"

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I once had an Australian come from 0z and was working here for a couple of months so came straight from the airport to me

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By *indys loverCouple
over a year ago

Stratford on avon

a man with full balls will travel miles to empty them

luckily my tanks never get to half full before the chain gets pulled and therefore no need to travel hundreds of miles ,

but in fairness we do have some good friends who we are very willing to drive a couple of hours to see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If anyone travelled a good distance for a meet I doubt very much they be physically or even mentally in the right frame of mind.

Travel can be and is often quite stressful and a good meet needs all concerned to be happy and relaxed.

Best to stay local imo and to say you've exhausted the local talent,is not a great thing to say either

"

Its more about the first meet being a social, yes you could get on and decide to book a room but if you don't, the person who has travelled potentially could have lost a whole day

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