FabSwingers.com forum: nerves

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi can someone understand when I say how nervous I am when an arranged meet with my fb us planned. First experience wasn't very successful and next one planned for Wednesday but scared it will end up the same way which was me not getting anything from it. Fine if I'm warmed up by fb but not just straight swop. Adhock meets at cupids are fine no nerves no problem

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Why have a fuck buddy that doesn't work for you?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Why have a fuck buddy that doesn't work for you?"

seems a little strange that you have met once, it didn't work as well as it could have.

good luck with your second meet and hope you get the connection that is needed for a great sexual partnership.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks I think it's me whose nervous and needs relaxing first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi can someone understand when I say how nervous I am when an arranged meet with my fb us planned. First experience wasn't very successful and next one planned for Wednesday but scared it will end up the same way which was me not getting anything from it. Fine if I'm warmed up by fb but not just straight swop. Adhock meets at cupids are fine no nerves no problem "

Maybe clubs is just more suited to you...straight swapping isn't for everyone...

I always get nervous but know that my pleasure is always uppermost in the monkey's mind...maybe your fb needs to support and reassure you more...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks I think it's me whose nervous and needs relaxing first "

Are you meeting just your FB or are you meeting someone else with him for a 3sum?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No meeting another couple with my fb it's fine when fb has made me horny and then we swop but it's the going in a room and just getting down with it. The first time was so bad for me and I didn't stop it just lay there till it was over. But then if I stop it and leave the room I spoil it for everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No meeting another couple with my fb it's fine when fb has made me horny and then we swop but it's the going in a room and just getting down with it. The first time was so bad for me and I didn't stop it just lay there till it was over. But then if I stop it and leave the room I spoil it for everyone "

Have you discussed this with him?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes but he said he can't understand why I get so nervous

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes but he said he can't understand why I get so nervous "

Perhaps you need a social meet with them first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had that with someone too. Made me feel like he was just using me as 'bait' to get him meets. Figure out if that's what he's doing. If he is... you're worth more than that. x

I wqlked out of a room once because it was clear I was only there as bait. I'd do it again. My feelings are more important, I don't care if it offends them as they clearly didn't care about me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We did that with the last couple and everything was fine till we got in cupids and everything was taken over my opinion about things weren't listened to by anyone. I think I just need to be more assertive about what I want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We did that with the last couple and everything was fine till we got in cupids and everything was taken over my opinion about things weren't listened to by anyone. I think I just need to be more assertive about what I want. "

Do you really want to play with couples or is it him that wants to,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do play with couples when it's a casual meet in the club no problem cos I've been made horny first by fb. So I know everyone enjoys it when it happens like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do play with couples when it's a casual meet in the club no problem cos I've been made horny first by fb. So I know everyone enjoys it when it happens like this "

So if hes played with you then your fine, so does he just get you wanting sex them you meet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No I enjoy and want to play it's just when it's an arranged meet I get nervous from the walk to the club and it's the have a drink chat for a bit then in a room and here you you have her and I'll have this one lol well that's what it felt like the last time x

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Time to get a FB that considers your wants and needs I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I enjoy and want to play it's just when it's an arranged meet I get nervous from the walk to the club and it's the have a drink chat for a bit then in a room and here you you have her and I'll have this one lol well that's what it felt like the last time x "

You are not alone. Mrs is exactly like you. Just stop planning meets and let things happen naturally. We go frequently to cupids also but rarely play with others. I'm sure you wont be nervous after you let the time do the job. Happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for all your help feel less nervous that have done all night I'm gonna suggest some things to fb and see what happens x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't just you. We are not keen on meets that go like that either. We have found that a lot of foreplay with all involved leading up to swapping works much better for us than just a straight swap. You need to talk to him (and the people you are meeting) and make your feelings clear. Otherwise it just ends up being a bad meet for you xx

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

OP as you are a single woman, I bet you have a way that you choose your partners. Do you use the same way for couples? Whatever is important when you choose a single guy will probably have the same importance with a couple. Maybe you aren't connecting with them prior to the meet. Also who chooses these couples? You, him or is it a joint decision?

I btw would not do a straight swap with a fb as my partner. I would rather have group fun, play with both of them myself, or just choose another singe guy to have a 1on1 with. After all we are single aren't we?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Time to get a FB that considers your wants and needs I think."

A real swinging partner would ensure this.

Why we dont play with FB or couples that dont seems to care for their partner, which is easily sourced by their interaction together (body-language).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP as you are a single woman, I bet you have a way that you choose your partners. Do you use the same way for couples? Whatever is important when you choose a single guy will probably have the same importance with a couple. Maybe you aren't connecting with them prior to the meet. Also who chooses these couples? You, him or is it a joint decision? "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Time to get a FB that considers your wants and needs I think."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Time to get a FB that considers your wants and needs I think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All comes down to respect and trust. Are you able to trust him to respect your boundaries/rules?

...from what you have said, he doesn't seem to be worth all the stress. The enjoyment's meant to be mutual, not one way.

You can do better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well, sounds like he is just using you to get a bit, being honest.

would it really be so difficult for him, and yourself, to start playing with each other ,then intermix with the other couple.

thats how we play with others.

we like to start together, then all move in together.

its the best way to play.

if he is just getting another couple in a room, then handing you over to the other male, then really think you need to be going alone or looking for a better partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well, sounds like he is just using you to get a bit, being honest.

would it really be so difficult for him, and yourself, to start playing with each other ,then intermix with the other couple.

thats how we play with others.

we like to start together, then all move in together.

its the best way to play.

if he is just getting another couple in a room, then handing you over to the other male, then really think you need to be going alone or looking for a better partner."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to add, if you're not happy you should tell him. He might think you're ok with how you do things.

If you tell him and he still does the same thing... then is he really worth being miserable? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to add, if you're not happy you should tell him. He might think you're ok with how you do things.

If you tell him and he still does the same thing... then is he really worth being miserable? x"

Yes talk to him and if it does not change, then change him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just wanna say thank you to all who supported me today talked to fb who fully understood then surprised me by saying that was the way he thought it would be anyway with us being with me first then gentle swopping when I'm ready. All that panic for nothing thanks again everyone I love this site xxx

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