FabSwingers.com forum: Are any Males able to relate to this?

By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

I had a whole load of stuff written down about me & my partner, but essentially, I just need to talk to someone who'll listen to me and can hopefully give me advice.

I really want to make my partner happy and give her what she wants, but I need to talk to someone and listen.

I'm trying to deal with my emotions and with my feelings and while I doubt it would end our relationship, I would like advice on how to stop things before they start if anyone has any please.

Anyone who genuinely thinks they can help please PM me.

I shall also watch the thread too.

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is the problem

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By *he devil wears pradaWoman
over a year ago

gosport ish

"I had a whole load of stuff written down about me & my partner, but essentially, I just need to talk to someone who'll listen to me and can hopefully give me advice.

I really want to make my partner happy and give her what she wants, but I need to talk to someone and listen.

I'm trying to deal with my emotions and with my feelings and while I doubt it would end our relationship, I would like advice on how to stop things before they start if anyone has any please.

Anyone who genuinely thinks they can help please PM me.

I shall also watch the thread too.

Thank you.

"
You need to give a clue as to what the issue is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can't Pm you sorry you have blocked males from messaging you.

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

A fairly cryptic post OP. What's the issue bud

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By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

I'll give this as it was what I just wrote to someone:

The problem is an MMF 3some. I just don't think I'm ready yet to perform in front of another male.

I'm not homophobic, I'm not shy, (I used to work in the dirtiest job in the world so getting naked for the showers etc was and still isn't a problem.

I'm a bit overweight, but not massively so. I'm neither tiny nor massively endowed either.

I'm just, shy I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/11/13 20:19:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll give this as it was what I just wrote to someone:

The problem is an MMF 3some. I just don't think I'm ready yet to perform in front of another male.

I'm not homophobic, I'm not shy, (I used to work in the dirtiest job in the world so getting naked for the showers etc was and still isn't a problem.

I'm a bit overweight, but not massively so. I'm neither tiny nor massively endowed either.

I'm just, shy I guess.

Are you, or are you not shy?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

" I would like advice on how to stop things before they start if anyone has any please".............if things haven't started, how can you stop them?

Do you mean your wife wants a 3sum but you're unsure?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

If you are not comfortable with the idea then don't do it.

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By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

I think that's the crux of it Steve.

To clarify.

We'd initially wanted an Mff 3some, and we'd set our sights on one, and all the while we'd talked about it, MMF had also cropped up occasionally. She'd love one as much as an FFM.

Like I say, I want her to be happy, I want to make her happy too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the main rules is to make sure that both of you are comfortable with whatever you are doing.....

If you aren't comfy with it don't do it.....

Good luck!

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By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

changed message settings so singles can answer.

Sorry for earlier. "Technical difficulties"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always get very nervous when other guys are in the same room when swinging.

On more than one occasion I just could not manage to get a hard on (feeling the need to perform)

Maybe you need to speak openly to her about your feelings and see what she thinks.

Much better than what us lot think.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might she not read this?

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

"One of the main rules is to make sure that both of you are comfortable with whatever you are doing.....

If you aren't comfy with it don't do it.....

Good luck!"

this says it all mate. Good luck

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Well, you could go along with it and try it. You might like it. You don't have to 'perform' in front of the other guy, you could sit and watch (although I'd advise keeping the witticisms to a minimum) and join in when you feel like it. Or not. Whatever you feel comfortable with. You're more likely to be more confident with the situation if you get involved in the choosing. Try not to be self conscious. Try low music, a glass of wine, a warm room and a few candles and relax and see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The main thing is feeling comfortable with each other and to be confident with each other too.

..best thing would be, is to speak to someone who you all feel comfortable around and you won't feel shy or insecure.

Be confident in yourself and take it slow and just go with the flow. Be on mutual grounds and just enjoy the experience once you get round to it.

Good luck.

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By *ulsedriver2Man
over a year ago

wakefield

talk , talk and talk some more to your partner and iron out any issues or insecuritys you have , swinging can make or break a couple if you rush into things but always happy to chat if you need it

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By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

Thank you.

Will probably take you up on that. And we had a long talk about it today.

Thank you. It's much appreciated.

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By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

Thank you.

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By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

"Might she not read this?

It's fine, we have discussed it and talked about it. If we're to enjoy and grow from this we know we have to share and talk about things. So we did.

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By *ackspop OP Couple
over a year ago

Wymondham

I think this has died now.

To everyone who answered and responded and messaged me, thank you. All of your advice has helped me and given me a better insight into things.

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

would an MMFF not be a good solution?

that way you can both play and hopefully feel a bit more equal for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not to far away if you need the extra male

lol

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I'm not to far away if you need the extra male

lol"

Well done for reading the thread and actually answering the guys query instead of just seeing it as an opportunity to dip your wick.

Oh, wait

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the main rules is to make sure that both of you are comfortable with whatever you are doing.....

If you aren't comfy with it don't do it.....

Good luck!"

Exactly this. You should both be happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging as a couple Is about enjoying that experience but as in all relationships communication is key. And also self analysis. Is it that your shy or that you don't want to share her with another guy. If it's shyness can you overcome it or would it be better to no do something that you won't enjoy. If you want to lose weight for yourself. Do it. I lost 3.5 stone using the myfitnesspal app and feel more confident now than I used to.

Talk to your partner about how you feel and see if there's a way past it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once you have done it once Jon the shyness should start to go. Dont worry about "performing" will only make it worse.Enjoy the mmf, even if only watching. You can then have a great horny play with your lovely wife once the other guy has gone.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Another option to consider is to have partially clothed sex, if getting naked in front of a guy, where there's a sexual situation, is the issue. As someone pointed out, you don't need to be having sex, you could just be there for your partner etc.

If you create a situation where the only aim is for sex to occur, then it magnifies your focus on it, and then onto any underlying issues, such as discomfort being naked. But, if you were - in contrast - not to be in a bedroom, say just in the lounge, then you could be having some nibbles/a drink, viewing some porn, with some pieces of fun interspersed.

That way it's not like all going upstairs, getting the clothes off and then it's 3,2,1 NOW FUCK. The latter is likely to increase stress etc, but keeping it more casual and relaxed - with some clothes on - should enhance your confidence and not minimise it.

Otherwise, you could have a similar situation at a club, where there's some banter, a little play and then graze socially or socially in bits and bobs, as seems right for you all.

Reduce the intensity of the stressers, and you'll more than likely feel a lot better than if not. Choose the right environment, the right partner(s), how much clothing is worn, what sex any of you actually gets down to, and it's all much more manageable.

If there are other underlying issues, then get those addressed too. You need to be right for the next step, rather than have an experience anyone might regret.

Another option is to just visit a club with the strict understanding that you're only likely to go to just chat and look around. It'll again reduce any pressure, and allow you to plan how you could use that club as part of your involvement with others.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fella, im the same as you, ie, not that confident around other people, especially naked, but sure, if you arent happy, you arent happy, and no amount of talking will change that.

did she agree to an MFF just so you had to agree to the other?

would say maybe you should stick to socials until you find someone, or indeed people, that you feel you would be comfortable around, and take things slowly.

you dont have to jump to the final act as soon as look at someone.

and dont be pushed into anything either (usually saying this to women lol) you both have to be happy, not just one of you

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