FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

MMF Performance anxiety!

Jump to newest
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester

Hiya,

I'm totally into women and I've never had a problem with those, I always perform well with them... but I have a problem when men are involved.

I've only ever had two MMFs in the past, one, the guy watched me with his wife and I performed well... Another, the guy and me were paying attention to the woman but I couldn't perform. I couldn't even get hard. That had previously never happened before... Ever!

I left the meet feeling bad about mesisng them about but they said that the majority of men they meet are the same. Regardless, I'm now nervous because that can't happen again!!!

Anyway, I've decided to try again with another couple. Have any of you guys got any tips on how to perform well? Or to overcome this anxiety?

I'm going to stay off the booze this time, thats for sure!

Cheers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah defo stay off the booze ! Ive had loads of threesomes, gang bangs etc and generally more often than not every time one guy cannot get it up x I tend to get all the others out the room and just concentrate on him - till the nerves go and he gets in the mood - then gently introduce the others back into the room and we all have fun xx its a very intimidating situation for some guys - so I am not surprised x GOOD LUCK xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

a shandy, if you're driving will probably help stem the nerves.. As far as fucking, I've been in positions where at the click of a woman's fingers or comment of 'give me a hard cock now' and you're supposed to be hard without foreplay. Its sometimes as if the sheer sight of a woman with her legs behind her head 2 seconds from getting into the bedroom is supposed to have you immediately hard. This isn't your fault just the inexperience sexually of those you are meeting.

Couldn't say how to get hard, just enjoy what you do and you'll get turned on in that respect .... if the woman is a bit naff, then show her what a decent fuck is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Yeah defo stay off the booze ! Ive had loads of threesomes, gang bangs etc and generally more often than not every time one guy cannot get it up x I tend to get all the others out the room and just concentrate on him - till the nerves go and he gets in the mood - then gently introduce the others back into the room and we all have fun xx its a very intimidating situation for some guys - so I am not surprised x GOOD LUCK xxx "

Cheers. Awww, you're so thoughtful!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"a shandy, if you're driving will probably help stem the nerves.. As far as fucking, I've been in positions where at the click of a woman's fingers or comment of 'give me a hard cock now' and you're supposed to be hard without foreplay. Its sometimes as if the sheer sight of a woman with her legs behind her head 2 seconds from getting into the bedroom is supposed to have you immediately hard. This isn't your fault just the inexperience sexually of those you are meeting.

Couldn't say how to get hard, just enjoy what you do and you'll get turned on in that respect .... if the woman is a bit naff, then show her what a decent fuck is "

This is exactly what happened to me! "Give me hard cock now"... That's what she said - or something similar. I was then embarrassed that I couldn't get hard instantly and spiralled out of control from there. There was no foreplay at all.

I've said to this new couple that igenerally don't do threesums. Anyway, I've had a social with them, they seem lovely and the woman is very keen. I've said that I need to be turned on and that I don't perform on demand. Anyway, the guy seems to understand me and apparently the woman likes the look of me....

I guess its just one of those things.... You've just got to 1, actually be turned on and 2, focus!

Cheers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Being honest, you only realise it after you've had decent shag s very regularly. Sex is sex and its a turn on and its all gravy but when you realise that a woman doesn't actually know what good sex is.. The pressure is off.

Its astonishing how some women are expectant like that, what's even more astonishing is how a guy that you know doesn't every get fucked is rock hard BEFORE his Jeans are down lol.

Don't sweat it, its ask about a good in the end

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Its all about a good laugh in the end (predictive text)

Some meets you just have to laugh at lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah defo stay off the booze ! Ive had loads of threesomes, gang bangs etc and generally more often than not every time one guy cannot get it up x I tend to get all the others out the room and just concentrate on him - till the nerves go and he gets in the mood - then gently introduce the others back into the room and we all have fun xx its a very intimidating situation for some guys - so I am not surprised x GOOD LUCK xxx

Cheers. Awww, you're so thoughtful!"

Ha ha ! I always look after my boys ! Especially if its their first MILF exerience as well x

You sound adorable - I'm sure it will all be fab

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's usually the personal pressure you put yourself under that affects your 'little soldier' (don't take the little personally lol). I had the same experience with my first and only MMF, but they were both really understanding and accompanying. I was soon turned on after she worked her magic and everything went according to plan after the initial "let-down" (excuse the pun). You've just got to master the art of blocking all pressure out of your mind and fully enjoy the moment buddy Let us all know how your next one goes!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Being honest, you only realise it after you've had decent shag s very regularly. Sex is sex and its a turn on and its all gravy but when you realise that a woman doesn't actually know what good sex is.. The pressure is off.

Its astonishing how some women are expectant like that, what's even more astonishing is how a guy that you know doesn't every get fucked is rock hard BEFORE his Jeans are down lol.

Don't sweat it, its ask about a good in the end"

But I do get shags regularly but not mmf shags!

Incidentally, when I meet ladies, I'm always rock hard under pants before I escalate the situation! If I don't get rock hard, I chat more and do some sex talk, touch a bit more.

In a way, I think its that which I need for an mmf!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

John Jones I think you've pulled lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oger ThatMan
over a year ago

essex

[Removed by poster at 11/10/13 17:08:52]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oger ThatMan
over a year ago

essex

This happened to me and I couldn't believe it. Before the meet I was pretty much hard all day... Got to the meet and got started then realised it wasn't rising. Fortunately it wasn't really noticed and once the females got hold of it and started with a BJ it rose to probably 75% and I cum. It was my first meet and I think the nerves and unusual circumstances play a big part.

Here's to the next time!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Yeah defo stay off the booze ! Ive had loads of threesomes, gang bangs etc and generally more often than not every time one guy cannot get it up x I tend to get all the others out the room and just concentrate on him - till the nerves go and he gets in the mood - then gently introduce the others back into the room and we all have fun xx its a very intimidating situation for some guys - so I am not surprised x GOOD LUCK xxx

Cheers. Awww, you're so thoughtful!

Ha ha ! I always look after my boys ! Especially if its their first MILF exerience as well x

You sound adorable - I'm sure it will all be fab "

Ha, thats good to know. If you're ever near Chester area, send me a message. I know about my age range but erm, you look very good! Ha!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"It's usually the personal pressure you put yourself under that affects your 'little soldier' (don't take the little personally lol). I had the same experience with my first and only MMF, but they were both really understanding and accompanying. I was soon turned on after she worked her magic and everything went according to plan after the initial "let-down" (excuse the pun). You've just got to master the art of blocking all pressure out of your mind and fully enjoy the moment buddy Let us all know how your next one goes! "

Cheers! Will do.

And don't worry, I call him the 'lil guy' myself.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a mmf where the guy got stage fright so made light of it, had a cup of tea till he felt comfortable and all ended well, but then we dont view the invited male as a performing seal, its a 3 way thing for us and all 3 should leave happy

Being the male of the couple I can understand the anxiety of the visiting male, take it for what it is mate, relax and enjoy the moment and dont start thinking of your previous stage fright on the way to the meet as it will make you stress,

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville


" its a 3 way thing for us and all 3 should leave happy

Being the male of the couple I can understand the anxiety of the visiting male, take it for what it is mate, relax and enjoy the moment"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah defo stay off the booze ! Ive had loads of threesomes, gang bangs etc and generally more often than not every time one guy cannot get it up x I tend to get all the others out the room and just concentrate on him - till the nerves go and he gets in the mood - then gently introduce the others back into the room and we all have fun xx its a very intimidating situation for some guys - so I am not surprised x GOOD LUCK xxx "

that's what I would do. Good thinking

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do not drink and its good you realise it maybe a factor in the performance as such if you think nerves are the issue try something non alcoholic like kalms etc.

Good luck.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hiya,

I'm totally into women and I've never had a problem with those, I always perform well with them... but I have a problem when men are involved.

I've only ever had two MMFs in the past, one, the guy watched me with his wife and I performed well... Another, the guy and me were paying attention to the woman but I couldn't perform. I couldn't even get hard. That had previously never happened before... Ever!

I left the meet feeling bad about mesisng them about but they said that the majority of men they meet are the same. Regardless, I'm now nervous because that can't happen again!!!

Anyway, I've decided to try again with another couple. Have any of you guys got any tips on how to perform well? Or to overcome this anxiety?

I'm going to stay off the booze this time, thats for sure!

Cheers"

Viagra ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's harder 4 a man a women can fake it lol but ur putting 2 much pressure on ur self I think just relax , if it happens again try Viagra , as 4 the females if they don't understand then I'd say by by 2 her and move on ... Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had a few guys get performance anxiety. I think my cock being close by puts them off lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha ha ha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester

Thanks everyone!

Viagra! Hahaha!! Seems a bit extreme but then again... Lol!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's harder 4 a man a women can fake it lol but ur putting 2 much pressure on ur self I think just relax , if it happens again try Viagra , as 4 the females if they don't understand then I'd say by by 2 her and move on ... Good luck "

Thing about Viagra is it doesnt get you hard only keep you hard

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to suggest cyalis. It's easier to get hard on it with (so I have been told).

I have been at a few meets where I am so glad I am not a man... Women don't have near the pressure.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was going to suggest cyalis. It's easier to get hard on it with (so I have been told).

I have been at a few meets where I am so glad I am not a man... Women don't have near the pressure.

Mrs "

Cialis has some very nasty side effects and can last upto 36 hours. i have the sildenafil drugs under perscription, Cialis is the strongest but most dangerous. none will give a man a hard on, just make it much easier to maintain once its up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was going to suggest cyalis. It's easier to get hard on it with (so I have been told).

I have been at a few meets where I am so glad I am not a man... Women don't have near the pressure.

Mrs

Cialis has some very nasty side effects and can last upto 36 hours. i have the sildenafil drugs under perscription, Cialis is the strongest but most dangerous. none will give a man a hard on, just make it much easier to maintain once its up."

Cyalis is dangerous? we like it lasts 36 hrs... He can keep going & going.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ubberdollieWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

I've been in situations ( mainly parties) where guys can't get hard and it is usually because they feel under pressure to be a sexpot supreme.

I never ever expect a guy to just come in and get it up, a lady should do her part to get the guys aroused.

You blokes don't half give yourselves a hard time ( no pun intended!)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

if a bloke needs Cialis or Viagra I don't think id bother ..... I wouldn't when so many DONT need it lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire


"I was going to suggest cyalis. It's easier to get hard on it with (so I have been told).

I have been at a few meets where I am so glad I am not a man... Women don't have near the pressure.

Mrs

Cialis has some very nasty side effects and can last upto 36 hours. i have the sildenafil drugs under perscription, Cialis is the strongest but most dangerous. none will give a man a hard on, just make it much easier to maintain once its up."

Viagra has some mean side effects too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We too have seen it happen at parties to other guys. Think the group situation can be a little heavy for some.

But relax and enjoy the company and you may find a natural rise..lol

Keep your pecker up!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester

Cheers everyone..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry don't understand?? cant get hard when having sex sorry doesn't compute

Have seen it happen to other guys (im lucky and touching wood at moment that it hasnt happened to me yet) at parties and in mmf situations usually its a temporary thing and with some stimulation they get over the nerves and get it up.

Its a mind thing and pressure thing also booze isnt always the problem if legless then yes but a couple of units should relax you.

Good luck and hope it doesnt put you off and you get it up this time, no pressure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illybare partyMan
over a year ago

hotel in teeside once a month

Hi five and carry on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

This is where clubs can help, if you get used to performing in a club with other guys around, an MMF will then not seem like much compared to that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is pretty common especially in the beginning...this is why I prefer one-one meets with guys before I start grouping them together!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"This is where clubs can help, if you get used to performing in a club with other guys around, an MMF will then not seem like much compared to that "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have seen it happen to other guys (im lucky and touching wood at moment"

Was that deliberate?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have seen it happen to other guys (im lucky and touching wood at moment

Was that deliberate? "

of course the double entendre is always a stable of my humour

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ohnjones3210 OP   Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Have seen it happen to other guys (im lucky and touching wood at moment

Was that deliberate? "

Haha! That did make me laugh out loud!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have seen it happen to other guys (im lucky and touching wood at moment

Was that deliberate?

Haha! That did make me laugh out loud!"

funnily enough i was touching wood at that exact moment

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

leave it to the professionals

more for us without the wannabies

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

I think its less pressure if anything as there are 2 guys to satisfy the lady, if you do get the flops as everyone does at various times there are other things you can do while recovering & they most probably wouldn't even notice.

John

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville

Forever ARGI+ . L-Arginine firms nitric oxide , permitting greater blood flow and may improve sexual function . £60 with 60 day money back guarantee .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *em4ejacWoman
over a year ago

Cougarville

Forever ARGI+ . L-Arginine forms nitric oxide , permitting greater blood flow and may improve sexual function . £60 with 60 day money back guarantee .

Many other health benefits too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

SPAM!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why do MMF if your anxious about it? Maybe a MFF would be better for you. leave it to the bi/bicurious guys.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Employ a fluffer to accompany you to the meet!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire


"Forever ARGI+ . L-Arginine forms nitric oxide , permitting greater blood flow and may improve sexual function . £60 with 60 day money back guarantee .

Many other health benefits too "

Or buy it for a quarter of the price from Holland and Barrett?

And that's even if you want it!

As I said earlier get to clubs, get used to it and being around other guys then an MMF will not seem like a problem

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"SPAM!"

Spam gets you horny?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"SPAM!

Spam gets you horny? "

The post above mine certainly got my juices flowin'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened to me before mate all was going well, until I popped on one of those extended pleasure condoms, it killed my erection which really killed my confidence on the night.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/12/13 19:50:28]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best to just make light of it. Had this happen first meet with two couples. Excused my self from the room and gave my cock a damn good talking too,slapped it about and told it to pull itself together.

Or pop a Viagra the once and have the memory that you were hard the next time you do mmf and hopefully be over the mental block.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hiya,

I'm totally into women and I've never had a problem with those, I always perform well with them... but I have a problem when men are involved.

I've only ever had two MMFs in the past, one, the guy watched me with his wife and I performed well... Another, the guy and me were paying attention to the woman but I couldn't perform. I couldn't even get hard. That had previously never happened before... Ever!

I left the meet feeling bad about mesisng them about but they said that the majority of men they meet are the same. Regardless, I'm now nervous because that can't happen again!!!

Anyway, I've decided to try again with another couple. Have any of you guys got any tips on how to perform well? Or to overcome this anxiety?

I'm going to stay off the booze this time, thats for sure!

Cheers"

I know its easier said than done, but believe me, the more you worry about it, the more likely it will happen again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe stop thinking of it as a 'performance'putting pressure on your self,meeting people for the first time can be a big expectation to do things how everyone likes/wants,don't think taking viagra the real answer,meets should be fun,just my opinion.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top