FabSwingers.com forum: How would you tell them?

By *ohn_1983 OP Man
over a year ago

South of Norwich

I was set up on a blind date a few days ago. It went well and we've been messaging a lot.

Neither of us are looking for "the one" or any commitment, as life is complicated for us both but there is mutual attraction although we haven't yet gone beyond making out.

Looking to be honest with this women, when or how would anyone suggest I break the news of Fab?

General chat suggests she's no shrinking violet but I would like some ideas?

Next "date" is tomorrow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bring up topic of swinging, see what her views are before deciding of you should tell her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Youve just met a woman and the first thing your thinking about is telling her about fab, guesing that your hoping she will be 'up for it' and join you as a couple, why dont you just see how things work out b4 you go rushing into somthing like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was set up on a blind date a few days ago. It went well and we've been messaging a lot.

Neither of us are looking for "the one" or any commitment, as life is complicated for us both but there is mutual attraction although we haven't yet gone beyond making out.

Looking to be honest with this women, when or how would anyone suggest I break the news of Fab?

General chat suggests she's no shrinking violet but I would like some ideas?

Next "date" is tomorrow."

Yeah, tricky one! It's not something I'd bring up on a first or second date probably, but rather wait til you both have a few drinks inside you and nice and relaxed with each other's company and she's opening up to you.

Maybe start a jokey conversation about things you'd both like to try and fantasies etc. If she opens up to you and suggest something that involves a third party then you could use that as your cue to fess up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her what she thinks of online dating and hookup sites, her response should give you everything you need

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By *ohn_1983 OP Man
over a year ago

South of Norwich

That's certainly what I was thinking, my only concern is how she'd react if she found after a few more dates...

Would she see it as lying to her?

I won't arrange any meetings on here though.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Both of us are big fans of honesty from day one it means you can both move forward with all the facts. Telling someone something six months, six weeks or however long down the line always raises the question of why did you wait that long, what else have you been hiding? That said if you don't intend to ever be any more than good mates is it any if her business?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I'd hide your profile for a bit & see how it goes - she might be on this site already!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What exactly are you thinking of telling her? The fact that you are bi-sexual (judging by verifications) could well be a deal breaker and is something that you should be upfront about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

like the others on here, I'd not arrange meets, flirt or anything else, bring up swingers in general vonversation, get her views on the subject then decide which way you go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't ever tell a date about this side of my life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't ever tell a date about this side of my life.

Me neither, my friend of 4 years knows but it's just sex with him x

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By *ohn_1983 OP Man
over a year ago

South of Norwich

I have no wish to hide anything from her. I'm not shy about being into swinging but I don't flaunt it either.

Because we've been setup means I feel very obliged to not sabotage it by putting my size tens init by "doing" or "not doing" the right thing.

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By *ohn_1983 OP Man
over a year ago

South of Norwich

[Removed by poster at 10/10/13 18:29:44]

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

We brought it up on our first date I think and the bisexuality I think (waits for Hollie to remember)

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I have no wish to hide anything from her. I'm not shy about being into swinging but I don't flaunt it either.

Because we've been setup means I feel very obliged to not sabotage it by putting my size tens init by "doing" or "not doing" the right thing.

You're in a fairly difficult position and might possibly be damned if you do and damned if you don't. I hope it goes we'll whatever you decide

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Youve just met a woman and the first thing your thinking about is telling her about fab, guesing that your hoping she will be 'up for it' and join you as a couple, why dont you just see how things work out b4 you go rushing into somthing like that"

Exactly what I thought!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I wouldn't be interested in knowing the details and certainly wouldn't be sharing mine: *however* I'm monogamous in a relationship so wouldn't entertain a bi male and I enjoy the Domme side of me so once talk of sex comes up I'd mention it then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You both may not be sexually compatible so I'd wait till you've had sex with her first and if it's good for you both and she seems open minded then id ask her straight out xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're looking to be honest changing your profile to at the very least bi-curious,would be a good start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was set up on a blind date a few days ago. It went well and we've been messaging a lot.

Neither of us are looking for "the one" or any commitment, as life is complicated for us both but there is mutual attraction although we haven't yet gone beyond making out.

Looking to be honest with this women, when or how would anyone suggest I break the news of Fab?

General chat suggests she's no shrinking violet but I would like some ideas?

Next "date" is tomorrow."

If you haven't agreed you want a mutually exclusive relationship then don't tell her. Doesn't matter where you meet people for sex, she knows she isn't the only one you are having sex with. Or does she think you don't have sex with other women?

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By *ohn_1983 OP Man
over a year ago

South of Norwich

My experience on here has been with couples and mmf/mfmf groups. I'm not bothered by bi males being part of it and the verifications come from that.

I'm flattered that some have taken such a detailed look at my profile.

The OP asked for advice regarding how to introduce and/or when you might discuss swinging with a new partner.

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By *erendipity99Woman
over a year ago

Runcorn

"I was set up on a blind date a few days ago. It went well and we've been messaging a lot.

Neither of us are looking for "the one" or any commitment, as life is complicated for us both but there is mutual attraction although we haven't yet gone beyond making out.

Looking to be honest with this women, when or how would anyone suggest I break the news of Fab?

General chat suggests she's no shrinking violet but I would like some ideas?

Next "date" is tomorrow."

It sounds like you are hoping you have found a new swinging partner. She may run a mile if you tell her. She may also love the idea. It's a chance you will have to take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

havent read the whole thing, so bear with me.

if things are complicated in your lives now, imagine what its going to be like after you tell her you trawl the internet for no strings sex with strangers.....

why would she find out ever, let alone after a few dates?

its not serious so why are you worrying?

my word, do you share bank statements and bring out the family tree with people you meet off here? lol

just enjoy her company while you have it, and if it becomes something more, then maybe hide your profile until your share fantasies and hers is to have no strings sex with strangers, then you can use the 'oo, a mate of mine was talking about that at work. he mentioned this site....' line.

it works

you tell her now, and it goes tits up, you think she wont tell her friends the reason it didnt work out???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My experience on here has been with couples and mmf/mfmf groups. I'm not bothered by bi males being part of it and the verifications come from that.

I'm flattered that some have taken such a detailed look at my profile.

The OP asked for advice regarding how to introduce and/or when you might discuss swinging with a new partner."
mate your not fooling any1 you can see youve met that fella by yourself, no mention of women being there at all and he refers to you as 'a big hairy bear' which most of us know is a gay term

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was set up on a blind date a few days ago. It went well and we've been messaging a lot.

Neither of us are looking for "the one" or any commitment, as life is complicated for us both but there is mutual attraction although we haven't yet gone beyond making out.

Looking to be honest with this women, when or how would anyone suggest I break the news of Fab?

General chat suggests she's no shrinking violet but I would like some ideas?

Next "date" is tomorrow."

Having been in the exact same position myself very recently i would say follow your gut instinct. I have made certain suggestive comments on our dates and guaged his reaction...i decided not to tell him...amongst other pointers, the fact that he thought me going to a burlesque based excercise class was 'too kinky' for him i realise he's really not prepared to hear anything about my swinging life and would probably have a heart attack lol, anyway I've decided he's not for me and won't be seeing him again. Be true to yourself. I would want to know, as it would be hurtful further down the line not to. If she runs for the hills then she's clearly not for you xx Good Luck xx

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"havent read the whole thing, so bear with me.

if things are complicated in your lives now, imagine what its going to be like after you tell her you trawl the internet for no strings sex with strangers.....

why would she find out ever, let alone after a few dates?

its not serious so why are you worrying?

my word, do you share bank statements and bring out the family tree with people you meet off here? lol

it works

you tell her now, and it goes tits up, you think she wont tell her friends the reason it didnt work out???"

We all have different way of approaching things but this pretty much sums up my view!

I think because we've embraced meeting strangers off the internet for casual sex sex as the norm and sharing the minutiae of our lives on social media networks some believe that's applicable to everyone: it's not!

You don't discuss your salary, the value of your house, your debts etc straight off the bat so why would you discuss taking part in threesomes etc?

I'd be put off if a potential boyfriend broached anything sexual after one date!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the word 'swinging' brings up all the wrong connotations to those outside it. All those images of wife swapping, car keys in the bowl parties.

We were surprised at how different it was when we first started.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"What exactly are you thinking of telling her? The fact that you are bi-sexual (judging by verifications) could well be a deal breaker and is something that you should be upfront about."

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