FabSwingers.com forum: advise needed please

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi people im looking for some good advise.

Having come out of a relationship recently I took time away to gather myself. Came back a few weeks ago but seem to have lost all confidence in meeting people.

I used to be great at going to clubs on my own etc and held my own but for some reason dont have it to go alone anymore.

Was wondering if maybe social meets would help altho not many people seem to do that these days. I want to get back to the way I was especially regarding the club scene as I love it.

Helpful advice appreciated x

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

"Hi people im looking for some good advise.

Having come out of a relationship recently I took time away to gather myself. Came back a few weeks ago but seem to have lost all confidence in meeting people.

I used to be great at going to clubs on my own etc and held my own but for some reason dont have it to go alone anymore.

Was wondering if maybe social meets would help altho not many people seem to do that these days. I want to get back to the way I was especially regarding the club scene as I love it.

Helpful advice appreciated x"

Hey, well you look fine and let's be honest, women rule the clubs. Women are very much sought after.

What exactly is it that holds you back? The fear of rejection? What is it?

Maybe just gently ease yourself into it. Some men will do socials too.

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi people im looking for some good advise.

Having come out of a relationship recently I took time away to gather myself. Came back a few weeks ago but seem to have lost all confidence in meeting people.

I used to be great at going to clubs on my own etc and held my own but for some reason dont have it to go alone anymore.

Was wondering if maybe social meets would help altho not many people seem to do that these days. I want to get back to the way I was especially regarding the club scene as I love it.

Helpful advice appreciated x

Hey, well you look fine and let's be honest, women rule the clubs. Women are very much sought after.

What exactly is it that holds you back? The fear of rejection? What is it?

Maybe just gently ease yourself into it. Some men will do socials too.

Xxx"

Thats my problem I dont actually know whats knocked it its just gone. But I do know I want it back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe find a female buddy that would go to a club with you purely as a social visit. You'd have someone to chat to and you could have a wander and chat to people with no pressure. Hope you feel better soon. x

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Hi, I've just noticed, I get the impression that you only meet in clubs?

If that's right, you're really limiting yourself. The reason being, a lot of single guys don't go to clubs as they simply don't need to.

I don't go to clubs because I don't like to pay those high rates to be mixed with a load of other guys when I can meet one on one with a woman on here.

Not only that, the £40 I'd spend there, I'd spend probably £10 - £15 on drinks, chocolate for the lady I meet on here. It's win win...

So maybe that initial bit of confidence you need which you could get from meet may not be easily accessible because of this reason.

Just a thought though.

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi, I've just noticed, I get the impression that you only meet in clubs?

If that's right, you're really limiting yourself. The reason being, a lot of single guys don't go to clubs as they simply don't need to.

I don't go to clubs because I don't like to pay those high rates to be mixed with a load of other guys when I can meet one on one with a woman on here.

Not only that, the £40 I'd spend there, I'd spend probably £10 - £15 on drinks, chocolate for the lady I meet on here. It's win win...

So maybe that initial bit of confidence you need which you could get from meet may not be easily accessible because of this reason.

Just a thought though.

Xxx"

Hi. Thats not always set in stone It was just mainly a safety issue for me meeting in clubs plus theres no pressure that way.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe find a female buddy that would go to a club with you purely as a social visit. You'd have someone to chat to and you could have a wander and chat to people with no pressure. Hope you feel better soon. x"

Thank you that sounds like a plan

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

"Hi, I've just noticed, I get the impression that you only meet in clubs?

If that's right, you're really limiting yourself. The reason being, a lot of single guys don't go to clubs as they simply don't need to.

I don't go to clubs because I don't like to pay those high rates to be mixed with a load of other guys when I can meet one on one with a woman on here.

Not only that, the £40 I'd spend there, I'd spend probably £10 - £15 on drinks, chocolate for the lady I meet on here. It's win win...

So maybe that initial bit of confidence you need which you could get from meet may not be easily accessible because of this reason.

Just a thought though.

Xxx

Hi. Thats not always set in stone It was just mainly a safety issue for me meeting in clubs plus theres no pressure that way. "

Ok, my view on this is slightly different. The way I'd tackle it is to chat up a nice guy, have a few meets with him. Get comfortable with hum then go to the club with him...

Eventually, you can let go of him but still have the confidence which you gained while there. Carry on going on your own after building your confidence back up.

I think a man will build your confidence up better than a woman would.

But, if you take this advice, PLEASE be careful and make sure the guy is not a weirdo. I'd hate for anything to happen. Trust me, there are nice guys on here!

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

remember one thing single ladys at clubs get plenty of protection tell staff your alone they will watch out for you and some will introduce you to regulars they know and trust to chat with , so you don't have to be alone ,

maybe just bite the bullet and go you will soon relax and enjoy as you already know how things work at clubs

and also get a fem friend or guy escort as long as he understand he is escort nothing else unless you want him to be more

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By *erendipity99Woman
over a year ago

Runcorn

"Hi people im looking for some good advise.

Having come out of a relationship recently I took time away to gather myself. Came back a few weeks ago but seem to have lost all confidence in meeting people.

I used to be great at going to clubs on my own etc and held my own but for some reason dont have it to go alone anymore.

Was wondering if maybe social meets would help altho not many people seem to do that these days. I want to get back to the way I was especially regarding the club scene as I love it.

Helpful advice appreciated x"

Take your time. Do it at your pace and when you are ready. Spend time online getting know a potential meet. When you feel ready to meet insist the first meet is social only. Play by your rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi people im looking for some giood advise.

Having come out of a relationship recently I took time away to gather myself. Came back a few weeks ago but seem to have lost all confidence in meeting people.

I used to be great at going to clubs on my own etc and held my own but for some reason dont have it to go alone anymore.

Was wondering if maybe social meets would help altho not many people seem to do that these days. I want to get back to the way I was especially regarding the club scene as I love it.

Helpful advice appreciated x"

If you need advice give up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont know if you drive, but if you do, maybe just meet in local pubs, socially, ofr a drink/meal.

there is a lot less pressure doing that than meeting in a sex club, even if it is just a social (you never know, the person you are meeting socially may well have further things in mind, whereas there is no further it can go in your local harvester).

thats what i would personally do, if i was having a crisis of confidence.

meet new 'friends' and, in time, the old confident you will come back.

dont rush things

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

Maybe you just need to jump in, or build up your confidense by either meeting guys, or pubs and clubs.

Looking at your profile you have a lovely body, can't see anyone turning U down

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

After just looking at your profile pictures .wow I can't see any problems getting your confidence back .hope you.can pluck up enough nerve to go back to clubs we would certainly like to bump into someone as fit as you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for replies. I think am struggling with the first initial step of meeting and ggoin to a cclub once iv done that I think normal service will be resumed I hope x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you have any friends to gfo with you?, when i've been in clubf there were people just having a look round.. fully clothed. perhaps if you could do that.. you may find familiar people to get chatting.

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