FabSwingers.com forum: 6 meets in 6 week, but feel empty

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/13 07:35:33]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey All

So this is my first post here, I've been lurking for a while, so hello to anyone who reads this! I've learned a lot in the 6 weeks I've been on here and definitely realised how hard being a single guy can be. Anyway, saying that I have been very lucky to have met up with some really,really nice women and a few couples and their veris make me blush just reading them. However, while I am sexual satisfied, and enjoy the experience of casual sex, I still feel sort of empty inside after meets. Does anyone else suffer these feeings of emptiness? How do others deal with casual sex? Is it possible to switch off and enjoy it for what it is? Thoughts/suggestions welcome! M

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you dont have to switch off and be numb to it dude, its nice to connect to the people you meet, maybe you're wanting more then just casual sex, try dating without the sex, see how it goes fella, good luck anyway

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ah thanks for the quick reply man! I do feel the connection then and there, it's just later on, but yes maybe dating without sex could be way forward, I do say I like to try new things lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

V has always said, after she split with her husband, she went on a mad one, and partook in a bit of casual sex, and she said she was left feeling empty afterwards.

so guessing it can be a byproduct of sex without feeling.

if you cant handle the feelings you are getting from it, then you should probably stop for a while until you feel you can either accept the feelings you have or decide you want to meet someone for more tan just emptying your sack

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Ah thanks for the quick reply man! I do feel the connection then and there, it's just later on, but yes maybe dating without sex could be way forward, I do say I like to try new things lol "

You are actually wanting 'something more' than scratching an itch, a lot of people are, you need something that engages your mind and emotions as well as your body I would say. I hope you find it, you sound like a gem!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have on occasion left a meet feeling a bit used and empty, for me it depends on the meet, if I meet a nice guy, have a drink, chatted and got on and moved onto sex where its been long and drawn out I have left feeling good, if I have met guys who just want to fuck and run I feel empty after, for me its not swinging that makes me feel like that but who I meet and how they treat me

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

i'm in the same boat too sometimes think there has got to be more to life than this

just last week had a meet with guy from another site that i've known years ;he came in hugged me then fucked me ,we chatted for a bit then he falls asleep on my sofa so i was bored and disillusioned with it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The secret is to turn it around, look at no strings meets ( swinging) as if you are using someone, rather than feeling used, cheap and empty.

See a sex meet for what it is, just emptying your balls.

The mistake many make is to think swinging is any more than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have on occasion left a meet feeling a bit used and empty, for me it depends on the meet, if I meet a nice guy, have a drink, chatted and got on and moved onto sex where its been long and drawn out I have left feeling good, if I have met guys who just want to fuck and run I feel empty after, for me its not swinging that makes me feel like that but who I meet and how they treat me"

This is Exactly how I feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The secret is to turn it around, look at no strings meets ( swinging) as if you are using someone, rather than feeling used, cheap and empty.

See a sex meet for what it is, just emptying your balls.

The mistake many make is to think swinging is any more than that.

not everyone wants to see others like that tho, im not after anything more than sex, ive been single for 5 years now and happy to stay that way, but just because I only want sex that does not mean sex had to be cold and clinical, I see nothing wrong with showing respect to someone you only want to shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 27/09/13 10:36:35]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

This is what you make it. I (F) would feel empty and used if we had one off quicky meets so we don't, we like to get to know people a little and establish an erotic connection first, lots of people wil be shaking their heads and saying that's an illusion and its still empty, no strings sex but its an illusion that works form me

In this life I'd say if you can avoid doing things that make you feel empty do so, it isn't good for a person.

I hope that you find whatever it is that you're looking for

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The secret is to turn it around, look at no strings meets ( swinging) as if you are using someone, rather than feeling used, cheap and empty.

See a sex meet for what it is, just emptying your balls.

The mistake many make is to think swinging is any more than that.

I certainly didn't say, not to show respect

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

I can relate to the OP and others posting on the thread 100%. That's why I don't do one off meets any more but have my FWBs. I can have fun, laughter, good conversation, great sex and lovely hugs at the end before they or I go off home again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The secret is to turn it around, look at no strings meets ( swinging) as if you are using someone, rather than feeling used, cheap and empty.

See a sex meet for what it is, just emptying your balls.

The mistake many make is to think swinging is any more than that.

I certainly didn't say, not to show respect

I would say seeing someone as just somewhere to empty your balls as not showing them respect

I guess we have different ideas of what respect is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

time is the most precious gift we have, and by choosing to spend time with someone, that is respect and special x

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By *p4u77Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

Think we have all been there matey I've made some fantastic friends through here it's all part of it just try and remember we are all still human and the emotions do come with it especially if u get on with the person in question xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the question i would ask, not only to the OP, but to all others that experience similar feelings, why are you doing it if it makes you feel this way?

ok, we all have scratches to itch, but is meaningless sex the answer if you arent left with a nice feeling afterwards?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think we have all been there matey I've made some fantastic friends through here it's all part of it just try and remember we are all still human and the emotions do come with it especially if u get on with the person in question xx "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you are missing is the closeness and emotional attachment shared between two people who care for each other. You need to feel connected emotionally to the person you are being intimate with. Just doing one off meets as you have discovered, doesnt offervthat connection unless you are very lucky or have the ability to switch it on or off yourself.

My advice would be to find one or two that you like and respect, become regulars or and i hate this term "Fuck Buddies" or Friends With Benefits. This will allow you the connection enotionally as you see more and more ofvthat person or persons.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What you are missing is the closeness and emotional attachment shared between two people who care for each other. You need to feel connected emotionally to the person you are being intimate with. Just doing one off meets as you have discovered, doesnt offervthat connection unless you are very lucky or have the ability to switch it on or off yourself.

Exactly what I was going to say.

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By *p4u77Woman
over a year ago

Norwich

This is true, far to many people go on about it being NSA sex, and we should do this, shouldn't do that, wrong place to find love blah blah blah but at the end of the day swingers are still human and show all the same emotions as everyone else and sometimes we cant control or feeling only the way we act upon them"
I know it has for me and others sometimes not easy to switch on and off keep the good ones as friends they are more than worth their weight in gold hate the cold clinical type that say keep it NSA sometimes it isn't that simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After the initial thrill of casual sex when I initially started swinging I now find casual sex not as satisfying as it lacks passion

So I now prefer to get to know ladies or couples before meeting so there is some connection - passionate sex is by far the most fulfilling

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

thats why all of this has been so hard for me ,thats what when i started out as a single gal on a swing site year ago but not on here was just meet guys on a regular basis getting to know them and connect with them but sadly its not worked out that way .some guys are always wanting me to meet others with them .

feel so disillusioned with it all now x

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By *ubberdollieWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

yep I too can relate to this .

I have a regular chap I see off here and he is now a good friend, I never feel like that when he leaves because we make a real night of it ( a meal, sex, chat, a brew etc).

But I've had a couple of meets recently where the guy has literally come for a fuck and then left asap. That left me feeling used, cross and deflated.

So, now I am going to stick to guys who I have built up a friendship with.

Maybe that would work for you OP?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey All

I'm NOT a psychologist so the following maybe yet more of my inane drivel but PERHAPS after coitis u are left empty because when u engaged in the sex act u were seeking some kind of approbation that u are unlikely to find from encounters on a sex site??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why i think NSA is wrongly used and thought of by so many people.

NSA is No Strings Attached meaning neither party want any sort of commitment or relationship from the other. It doesnt have to mean cold and clinical sex.

You are permitted to feel emotionally toward your partner and still have NSA sex with them. If anything it makes it better if you do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been dating a bit recently and I enjoy it a bit more than being here sometimes. Mainly because their interest in me and mine in them is different than being approached here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the best OP and subsequent reactions I've read so far. It's great to hear others are having to deal with their emotions as well, that sex never should be clinical, that a bond with partners is actually desirable.

Continuity with a few that you feel comfortable with, can talk to, be friends with, is priceless. The scratch needed is often not just physical.

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By *ubberdollieWoman
over a year ago

Stoke

"Hey All

I have no idea what an 'approbation ' is! For me it's the come down if I've been looking forward to the meet, spent ages getting ready , then the guys wipes his dick and goes. As I say, that's why i'm now meeting those i am friends with.

Btw going off on a tangent.... my eyesight is bit shite and I am convinced that is a horse behind you on your avatar?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey All

Btw going off on a tangent.... my eyesight is bit shite and I am convinced that is a horse behind you on your avatar? "

Actually it's an eagle owl

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By *esperatewifeWoman
over a year ago

Spalding

"the question i would ask, not only to the OP, but to all others that experience similar feelings, why are you doing it if it makes you feel this way?

ok, we all have scratches to itch, but is meaningless sex the answer if you arent left with a nice feeling afterwards?"

Sex is a human need, yes even if we are old, ugly or disabled. If we are unlucky enough to be in a sexless relationship, or not in one at all, sometimes something is better than nothing. That's why some of us do it, regardless of the emptiness afterwards.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the question i would ask, not only to the OP, but to all others that experience similar feelings, why are you doing it if it makes you feel this way?

ok, we all have scratches to itch, but is meaningless sex the answer if you arent left with a nice feeling afterwards?"

Between a rock and a hard place...hate cheap meaningless sex...but hate doing without for goodness knows how long while I wait for someone special to come along.

I know some lady friends of mine...a year, year and a half, two years without sex! I cannot do that. My drive won't allow it, and besides I get cranky

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

wow guys and girls! Never thought this would generate so much interest. I was busy yesterday but when I logged in this morning, I was like woah! So it seems a lot of people feel like I do, which is sort of reassuring, but also a little sad. As one of the posters put it,I'm no psychologist,but it would seem I need to find someone who I can connect with on multiple levels! Any intellectually sexy people out there?!? Seriously thank you all, I think I might post again on this forum malarky

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By *irtyslutgirlWoman
over a year ago

Warwickshire

"I have on occasion left a meet feeling a bit used and empty, for me it depends on the meet, if I meet a nice guy, have a drink, chatted and got on and moved onto sex where its been long and drawn out I have left feeling good, if I have met guys who just wan't to fuck and run I feel empty after, for me its not swinging that makes me feel like that but who I meet and how they treat me"

Absolutely! For me, it about the type.of meet, if it's just a case of any holes a goal, you will feel empty afterwards. If it's about having a mutually enjoyable time, you won't feel so empty x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean. Its one of the reasons I don't accomodate, having someone come round for a shag then leave made me feel like an unpaid prostitute.

I now only do new meets at clubs or I meet a few regular guys and we have 'date nights'. Dress up, go for a meal, back to his after for some lovin :D.

The only guy who spends the weekend is my fb, and we play together as a couple then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also have a self imposed rule that I only meet when the kids are at their dads, which can be weeks in between! The enforced abstinence increases the anticipation

then one mahoosive weekend, the last one I clubbed 3 nights in a row, and a date night as well!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

having someone come round for a shag then leave made me feel like an unpaid prostitute.

I agree a bit with this, I usually accom so when I'm left all alone after I do think, god did that just happen and oh is THAT it now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to let a (non-FAB) gent stay for the odd fun weekends, had sexy fun and fed ourselves in between sessions etc...

Although the sex was good, I always felt being slightly "used" afterwards, as he got fed well, and drank well.

In addition, I had to put up with his "politics" and he smoked pot in my house.

Never again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very difficult to separate the fun of no strings sex from your emotions. I have an acceptance that some meets are going to be better than others. I see for most people here, the better ones have a friendly connection. It doesn't have to be romantic. For myself, I 100% agree the attraction has to be more than physical.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Hey All

I know what you mean: one of the reasons I've hidden my profile and not meeting.

It's fun. My playmates I meet socially, sometimes several times before play and I enjoy my time with them, but I began to feel empty after they left: especially if my meets were close together.

Spreading the meets out helped a bit, but in all honesty I think most of us experience this low at some point.

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By *avindaWoman
over a year ago

North Wales

"This is why i think NSA is wrongly used and thought of by so many people.

NSA is No Strings Attached meaning neither party want any sort of commitment or relationship from the other. It doesnt have to mean cold and clinical sex.

You are permitted to feel emotionally toward your partner and still have NSA sex with them. If anything it makes it better if you do."

Thats a great comment. Its exactly the way l like to feel. Nice to see a man who said this as well.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe sex can never be uncomplicated then?

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"Maybe sex can never be uncomplicated then?"

It can. Just depends on the type of person you are, and the mindset with which you approach it.

Uncomplicated sex isn't within the reach of everyone. Others enjoy nothing more.

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By *ohn_1983Man
over a year ago

South of Norwich

Good discussion with honest comments.

Have I felt used...on occasion yes but that's more to the behaviour of the others involved. Needless to say I won't see them again.

Find the right people and it'll be worth it.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Maybe sex can never be uncomplicated then?"

Multi person sex can be physically complicated at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two weeks ago I had a meet with a guy I have met several times but went home early as I felt terrible, empty and sad.

I thought maybe it was that he and I had just come to the end of our sexual friendship. My choice not his.

Then last night I had a meet with a new guy and again left early feeling exactly the same!

Oh don't get me wrong the sex in both cases was great but that's all it was sex!

So now I have a lot of thinking to do as to where and how I go forward.

Mr Op it aint just you!

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

omg i so echo that ,and i thought it was just me that perhaps i'm doing it all wrong but looking at this thread makes me think i have to go about this better.

and the guys who just want a quick fuck are not worth bothering with i want someone to come to see me cos they like me as a person not just cos i'm on a swing site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Xxxxxx group hug xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why i like sites with a thriving forum community, cos on occasion, you get someone post an inciteful thread that makes everyone stop and think and go " oh yeah i see it now"

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"an inciteful thread that makes everyone stop and think and go " oh yeah i see it now" "

Somehow that worked this time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like good advice to me. I felt much like the o p when I first got into swinging.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

As others say, it's great to see some really valuable feedback/input here.

My bit, for what it's worth - is that it's always important to pay attention to your emotions. There's something important to pay attention to, when you don't feel right.

I really put a lot of effort into meeting the right people, and learn from how it goes when we have sex. Sometimes things aren't so good, if I've not really focused enough on either what I needed, or what was there for me to read, but didn't actually see it.

Your emotions may just be saying that you've met the wrong people, or at the wrong time for the wrong things. If it's different connections you need, then the poster, and others, have suggested how you could alter this. Perhaps you need a relationship, where there's different intimacy, love develops, even if you also want swinging/NSA sex too. Only each of us can really know what we need, wisdom comes when we get to understand ourselves better, and we don't swim against the tide, doing what's not really fulfilling for us.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well put. Good post.

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By *orflondonerMan
over a year ago

Wood Green

[Removed by poster at 28/09/13 18:21:23]

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By *orflondonerMan
over a year ago

Wood Green

I went through a stage of wondering why I am doing this and feeling empty after meets/clubs etc.It was down to a mate(one of the few I told) going on about how sad it was and pathetic.In January I met a female friend (outside of the scene) who was a swinger.She is giorgeous ,fit and a girl any man would be proud of.She swings and was proud of it.She made me feel good about myself again I love what I do and have no intentions of stopping.oh and the bloke who thought I was sad,let slip that he was in a sexless relationship for 3 years.His mrs then lef thim after having an affair.I don't take any joy in that,but it did explain why he was so scathing about my swinging lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have passed thro various emotions and in different meets. Many occasions I have thort how much I enjoyed the meet. Other occasions it has felt vacuous. Only fairly recently I met someone for a fourth time who let a seemingly innocuous phrase slip which pretty much almost scuppered going on with the bedroom activity. I did recover my composure without it noticing n completed the meet

Afterwards however, I gave the whole fab thing a serious review n decided I was meeting too many people for too many wrong reasons.

I've since determined there are some people I shall not meet again nor shall I be so compliant when new people come thro.

I really had to tell myself I'm not some kind of ' free object' working on the fringes of the sex industry trying to prove something

I'm fact I just viewed a profile wiv over 100 verifications ALL for sex n none were social n my thort was 'what are you looking for that you are never finding which takes THAT many meets in just over a year ' their choice of course so no criticism from me just curiosity

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Again, thanks to all who have replied and told me about your own issues, so glad i posted. Time to think about all this!x

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By *iPeopleMan
over a year ago

London

" I can have fun, laughter, good conversation, great sex and lovely hugs at the end before they or I go off home again. "

Me too!

Have a read of "Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton - its very good!

And she's speaking in London in dec so if anyone fancies going let me know.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

ive got two long term fbs who are NSA a husband who loves me seeing them

I had a relationship but soon realised that was not love so I prefer the NSA any day

I love variety and exploring new mens bodies .. it can make you feel empty sometimes tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Xxxxxx group hug xxxxxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great profile, OP!

Yes, sadly it happens to me as well.. Casual sex has left me quite disconnected. I DO believe the reason is all scientific. The endorphin rush from the momentary connection with another is difficult to come down from when you realize that at the end of it, you're alone(for singles). Yes, yes, we can tell ourselves we used the other person or that it was mutual usage. But the soul knows..

As for myself, I believe there's something else lacking but I haven't figured out quite what..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Insightful post, that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Great profile, OP!

As for myself, I believe there's something else lacking but I haven't figured out quite what.."

Interesting, yes there is rush, I wonder if its a come down thing then? What I'm also finding interesting is that a lot of the replies tend to be from women, very few other men!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meeting for NSA fun just leaves me cold now, so I very rarely meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Insightful post, that.

Thank you .. I've put a lot of thought into why..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Interesting, yes there is rush, I wonder if its a come down thing then? What I'm also finding interesting is that a lot of the replies tend to be from women, very few other men!"

Maybe men can bury or disregard the mental impact better? (the whole big boys don't cry thing)? Men SAY they're more simplistic, enjoy the moment for what it is.. Can they (generally speaking, of course) or is it that they haven't put thought into what "the moment" actually is?

Or can the issue be that thinking beyond the physical pleasure of a moment complicates things unnecessarily and takes something away from the moment just enjoyed?

I believe there's a whole psychology to the whole thing. As soon I think I grasp it, it slips away because I've tried a different point of view..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Insightful post, that.

Thank you .. I've put a lot of thought into why.."

If I translate my own emotions when I feel that low hit afterwards - it's the clearing up after Someone's left.

It'd be nice if the winding down could be done together; wash up, make coffee, nibble on a snack, snuggle up...

It's when the look on the watch happens, and the clothes come on again, and you know it's already over. I never had a whole evening, or a sleep-over, let alone a whole weekend where you go for a walk in between, and afterwards resume the cuddling and arousing...

Always two hours at the most.

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

as i live alone i come on here a lot to read the forums and this thread has touched me more than any other ,

cos i can see its not wrong to think i want something more than a quick shag .

i know its nsa sex and all that but as someone said it shouldnt't be cold clinical sex either ,we are human after all xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"as i live alone i come on here a lot to read the forums and this thread has touched me more than any other"

And you're not alone in that.

there should be a hug-emoticon, really.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I genuinely feel that men are socialised into presenting a 'big boys don't cry' front to others around them and even themselves, but be good to get more

male opinions on this!I'm so glad my musings have touched people, hope you all find what your looking for x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I genuinely feel that men are socialised into presenting a 'big boys don't cry' front to others around them and even themselves, but be good to get more

male opinions on this!I'm so glad my musings have touched people, hope you all find what your looking for x"

Absolutely, it's even more so for for people of my generation and older, when if you are the male of the house, you were expected to behave like a man, and take it on the chin and not show the world you are scared or emotional. Comes from my father who went through the war and his father who went through the WW1.

You were thought less of a man like that, also i presume why many homosexual men remained hidden legality aside.

I can only ever speak from personal experience and observation of others and other people i have talked to, and there are many more that dont frequesnt the forums here that feel the same way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Insightful post, that.

Thank you .. I've put a lot of thought into why..

If I translate my own emotions when I feel that low hit afterwards - it's the clearing up after Someone's left.

It'd be nice if the winding down could be done together; wash up, make coffee, nibble on a snack, snuggle up...

Always two hours at the most. "

You have got it spot on there Yoni. We have all done it, glanced at the watch, sending that signal that the fun's now over. Time constraints are the bane of this lifestyle, we are forcing ourselves to cram in to minutes what would naturally take weeks or months of socialising normally and it is effecting our basic needs for company.

I am like you. I yearn for the chance to have a longer time, no clock watching, stopping at a natural break in rhythm to make a cuppa or a sandwich for both of you and resume later.

It's not just about sex for me, it's the whole package. Yes you can satisfy the physical need in a couple of hours but you have to feed the emotional need too and that takes a hell of a lot longer unfortunately.

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By *aughtyinguMan
over a year ago

swindon

I've had the same after meeting, feeling hollow. But in my case I do want more than a couple of holes, and I do give plenty of affection

, I think for me there is a element of coming down, like drug users get but without drugs, I just don't have alot of happy in my head :/, and it gets used up when with someone, then after...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great profile, OP!

As for myself, I believe there's something else lacking but I haven't figured out quite what..

Interesting, yes there is rush, I wonder if its a come down thing then? What I'm also finding interesting is that a lot of the replies tend to be from women, very few other men!"

Well seeing as you've said that...

I actually read all of this last night and wrote quite a lot in response, but in the end I decided not to post it. It didn't quite come out right!

I've had NSA one off meets before, and quite enjoyed them too. That was when I was on here quite a few years ago, and I've had relationships in between and been on and off Fab.

What I really wanted to say though, was that these days I too tend to have much more than NSA with at least one of the people I'm seeing.

I like to have one person I see regularly, who's a friend I can get on well with AND have good sex with. We can have evenings where we go for a drink, have some food, go back and enjoy ourselves, cuddle up and fall asleep. In the morning we go back to our lives, after sex and or breakfast if we want/have time.... or it could be a weekend together.

We even tend to keep in touch in between too if we like, as with any other friend I give my time to, with the added plus you can be planning what things you want to get up to next!

In the meantime, if you need or like, you can add other NSA meets in to suit your desires too, and be open and honest about them to the other person, even including them if everybody is happy!

For those people that really know they aren't looking for a relationship, but still want to have someone there so you don't feel lonely, it's ideal. Personally I just feel trapped having a girlfriend and I still want to be able to enjoy myself! So for me it works well... I don't have to think about getting laid, I can focus on my life and have fun breaks as and when needed, there's no relationshippy strains or "where's this going?" (unless we're referring to my penis!

), and then you can go off and complement that by having a different kind of meet altogether that gets your heart racing, and go home, but still have someone to share it with.

So in short, to the OP... perhaps finding something like this may suit you better if you're sure you aren't interested in dating!... and to all the other ladies that are feeling a bit hopeless, there are guys out there who are looking for this!

I don't come into the forums so much any more, mostly due to the repetition and unnecessary conflict in here. I really enjoyed this thread though, it's quite original and I guess it connected with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a nice, encouraging, post. I guess most of us would opt for such a set-up. Finding such a fwb is sheer luck. It's good to hear that the need of something more than just a shag is not just a woman-y thing.

This thread has been such an eye-opener. It connected with lots of people.

Good luck to you all, and may you find what you're longing for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems to me like you have been like a kid in a candy store and are now left feeling a little ill.

I think a lot of people come here and go for every meet they can because they can... Racking up the verifications like they are collecting stickers for an album.

The meets are nice enough but some do leave you feeling empty and used as it isn't what you were expecting... This is the time you are working out what you want and it seems like you have figured that out now...

Maybe go for the select few for regular meets and be sure to have the social element of the meet.

From my personal experience I went through the same thing. I realised to always meet somewhere that meant conversation first and left me with a get out clause. I got to know them pretty well before I would meet. I would never bring people home as I want to be the person who walks away. And I need someone who stimulates my mind and makes me laugh before I can entertain the thought of going to bed with them... I learnt that through a few meets that left me feeling the same way.

Hope you work things out and work out the way forward for you.

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By *uby0000Woman
over a year ago

hertfordshire

I will admit I only like a couple of hours with a man selfish maybe but that's just me

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