FabSwingers.com forum: how many chances?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How many chances do you give a person to meet if they cancela first meet? Not talking about a "no show" but a call half an hour before saying sorry I am sick or something has come up. Do you give another chance if the person still seems keen to meet?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends I guess on work circumstances; I have two jobs, some guys work shifts or are on call in which case I would consider three chances otherwise two is plenty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I give them another chance because RL is more important than fab. I've had to cancel meets a few times because I've not been able to make it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ibanditMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Yeah, three strikes in general here, unless the excuse is feeble or non-existent and it's bye-bye.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With half an hours notice I'd view them the same as a no show. That's no real notice

If I believed the reason and they cancelled at reasonable notice they'd most likely get a second chance but I wouldn't inconvenience myself in meeting them - it would be local and at a time that suited me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

"How many chances do you give a person to meet if they cancela first meet? Not talking about a "no show" but a call half an hour before saying sorry I am sick or something has come up. Do you give another chance if the person still seems keen to meet? "

Absolutely not - not any more. One chance is all they get - and I would expect the same.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as crystal said, thats as bad as a no show.

half hour notice, we would already be where we had arranged to meet, as we prefer to be there first, so we would already be sitting waiting, wasting our time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ombshellWoman
over a year ago

islington

2 strikes and they are gone,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *utterflywingsWoman
over a year ago

Creswell Derbyshire

If they canceled 30 mins before a meet they wouldn't get a second chance, i have limited spare time and its precious to me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

If they canceled 30 mins before a meet they wouldn't get a second chance, i have limited spare time and its precious to me

Depends how keen I am to meet them!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Half a hour isn't really much notice - surely someone would know before then that they were unwell or couldn't make it. Most people would be on there way by then and near the meeting place.

We don't have a set rule on how many times. Depends on the reason for cancelling and if we actually believe them. Sometimes things do happen and are more important, we understand that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless something catastrophic has happened half an hrs notice is a bit late

It would depend on a number of things as to whether id make another arrangement,if id met them before and know them pretty well,If meeting was'nt going to involve going to the ends of the earth and back and lastly how much my intuition was telling me yes or no

Either way it'd be a long wait if I did make another arrangement,I mostly plan ahead and have a few playmates that id be seeing before I plan anything with someone thats let me down last minute

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It varies depending on the circumstances.

If it seems genuine then another chance. for sure.

If it is obvious we are being messed about then no other chances.

It's not just a first meet though. We have refused to organise any more meets with people we have already met more than once because they were so unreliable.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as I only play in my dungeon, which is on my farm, no shows don't cause me a problem, more than one cancellation, would mean no more invites.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *unwithus2.Couple
over a year ago

south kent

we had the same problem a guy not turning up but ringing half an hour before hand to say he wasn't well, wasn't except-able, i thought i would go on line under a different name and search for him to which i did he didn't know who i was, but found out he had a wank an hour before and lost interest in going

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Life can play up at times. I once got a message 2 hours after meeting time. Something happened just as he was on his way out, with no chance to phone or text until then.

Can happen. You have to be a bit flexible.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungle-FeverCouple (FF)
over a year ago

Bristol/Gloucester

It depends on the circumstances but we would probably give most a second chance. If they let us down again we would probably lose interest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends....a short notice cancellation?!...the excuse better be pretty good and the guy better be fairly hot for me to agree a second chance. But no third chance

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

None unless I've been notified it might happen. Had a meet who had a business trip up north. When we arranged the meet the Wednesday was free depending on the outcome of the Monday meeting. If that went tits up he'd have to drive to Harrogate on Tuesday not London: it went tits up!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends how far you're travelling.... if it's a very local meet that got cancelled within half an hour of meet-time, then maybe give a second (or even third) chance.

But if you had already prepped and left home before being cancelled..... NO! Under those circumstances, half an hour's notice is disrespectful.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *erbMan
over a year ago

SHEFFIELD

Depends upon the circumstances. I'm a chef, therefore my working hours vary and that sometimes makes arranging meets a little difficult...today for instance, had to cancel an afternoon arrangement due to the EHO paying a visit to my workplace. Now fortunately I do warn prospective play mates of my job situation and most seem to understand and take me on trust. That said, I hsve had some over anxious gits turn nasty and send me the usual "timewaster" diatribe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one chance. I've had times when I've been messed around re. the kids by my ex, so just not arranged any meets as I couldn't be 100% I wouldn't let people down.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only once have I broken my cardinal rule of no second chances, and he let me down again...block and move on!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"With half an hours notice I'd view them the same as a no show. That's no real notice

^^^ This..

If someone cancels with enough time for me to arrange something else... I may well give another chance. Half an hour before would count the same as a no show to me and I wouldn't be arranging anything with them again.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucy and CarlCouple
over a year ago

Broadstairs

No second chance here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

30 mins notice is a complete lie to be suddenly taken ill & unless there is a life threatening panic then no other reason to cancel at very short notice.

So on that basis I would be out and no second chance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very much dependant on the circumstances and whether or not i have had to go to lengths to have the meet in the 1st place.

I use a 1 strike rule unless the excuse dont hold water, then its sorry, next!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not - not any more. One chance is all they get - and I would expect the same."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I've given people second chances when they've cancelled with a plausible excuse only to be cancelled on again. So regardless I now never meet them if they cancel.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If call only half hour before meet then no I wouldn't give them another chance

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Yes same here .half an hours notice would be same as a no show .at least if it was a couple of hours .we could arrange something else orvisit a club .longer notice iI would feel they were more genuine giving us time to make other arrangements .but we plan our meets for clubs now so we always have a backup plan

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andWCouple
over a year ago

Pontypridd

About. 5 years ago we had to cancel on a guy half an hour before, we felt terrible but it was a no brainer.

A close family member who has a history of mental illness text me a goodbye message and saying they had taken 100 paracetamols. I tried ringing them, ringing other family members but nothing, so Scott sorted out cancelling and we both raced to their house the whole thing was very upsetting, ending up with police and ambulances.

Ever since that I've been a lot more forgiving on cancelations because as someone said further up real life is important, and you never know what could get thrown at people, even half an hour before x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"About. 5 years ago we had to cancel on a guy half an hour before, we felt terrible but it was a no brainer.

And that is the flip side. We cancelled once at short notice as we had to have an ambulance for our little boy as he couldn't breathe.

We were meeting a couple with kids themselves. Once it was under control we even sent them a picture of the hospital as we felt so bad about it. We didn't even get a reply or hope he is ok. They just posted another meet.

Which we thought was a bit rough. But hey ho.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair even half an hours notice is better then no notice at all and no shows are the pits.

If it does happen again then perhaps people are not really in a position to meet much anyway so perhaps should be politely forgotten about. Plenty of fish and all that.

"About. 5 years ago we had to cancel on a guy half an hour before, we felt terrible but it was a no brainer.

And that is the flip side. We cancelled once at short notice as we had to have an ambulance for our little boy as he couldn't breathe.

Which we thought was a bit rough. But hey ho. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We have learned the hard way to only give a second chance under extenuating circumstances. Some people are serial cancellers usually identifiable by increasingly plausible yet dramatic reasons.

This is no strings fun, neither party owes the other anything but respect and good manners.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I had a cancellation due to a real life drama. Guy badly broke his leg that afternoon. Had to have surgery with metal plates and pins in. Would have taken months to recover.

Then the numpty changed his status a couple of weeks later to say he was off to France skiing.

No more second chances from then on. Particularly when the creep had a go at me for a snippy message asking why he'd not been in touch. Made me feel really lousy and it was all a lie. Now that doesn't mean that everyone who cancels is lying but my meet time is not often so one cancellation and I'm done.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not - not any more. One chance is all they get - and I would expect the same."

So if someone had a genuine and serious reason for cancelling you wouldn't consider then again??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believed some one once and gave them a few chances only to find they still used crappy excuses further down the line .hence only one chance now and if its a follow up meet where you trust the people .two then no go again.poppyxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I believed some one once and gave them a few chances only to find they still used crappy excuses further down the line .hence only one chance now and if its a follow up meet where you trust the people .two then no go again.poppyxx

Seems like the women on here have a zero tolerance policy regrading cancelled meets, do any of you ever make back up plans??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we never make back up plans.

we have a lovely evening together doing what we would have done if with a meet, just with fewer people lol.

this shit is merely a passtime, an addition to the wonderful life we share.

we ask for a meet, and it happens.

on the rare occasion it doesnt happen, we dont cry about it

dont come on here and post about timewasters or ask whats wrong with us

we have a lovely evening wherever we are, possibly a nice meal, we retire to our palace of sin, and have a bloody good session.

this way we never have a bad night, however those that let us down have missed out on a great time lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we tend to give two/three chances as sometimes it just cant be helped, whereas if they are friends we tend to be fairly easy going as we know their situation and they us, recently we have had to cancel a few meets, because I (f) have ended up in hospital which could'nt be helped but we as a couple totally understand if those we have cancelled on didnt want to arrange to meet up again, its really just the way it is

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we never make back up plans.

we have a lovely evening together doing what we would have done if with a meet, just with fewer people lol.

this shit is merely a passtime, an addition to the wonderful life we share.

we ask for a meet, and it happens.

on the rare occasion it doesnt happen, we dont cry about it

dont come on here and post about timewasters or ask whats wrong with us

we have a lovely evening wherever we are, possibly a nice meal, we retire to our palace of sin, and have a bloody good session.

this way we never have a bad night, however those that let us down have missed out on a great time lol"

I didn't think I was asking what was wrong with me or calling anyone a timewaster, just making conversation as I had this happen to me. Stuff does happen I know that and I am not upset by it just curious about others views x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we never make back up plans.

we have a lovely evening together doing what we would have done if with a meet, just with fewer people lol.

this shit is merely a passtime, an addition to the wonderful life we share.

we ask for a meet, and it happens.

on the rare occasion it doesnt happen, we dont cry about it

dont come on here and post about timewasters or ask whats wrong with us

we have a lovely evening wherever we are, possibly a nice meal, we retire to our palace of sin, and have a bloody good session.

this way we never have a bad night, however those that let us down have missed out on a great time lol

im sorry you took that personally.

i was answering a post about making back up plans or not.

wasnt referring to your OP at all.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we never make back up plans.

we have a lovely evening together doing what we would have done if with a meet, just with fewer people lol.

this shit is merely a passtime, an addition to the wonderful life we share.

we ask for a meet, and it happens.

on the rare occasion it doesnt happen, we dont cry about it

dont come on here and post about timewasters or ask whats wrong with us

we have a lovely evening wherever we are, possibly a nice meal, we retire to our palace of sin, and have a bloody good session.

this way we never have a bad night, however those that let us down have missed out on a great time lol

im sorry you took that personally.

i was answering a post about making back up plans or not.

wasnt referring to your OP at all.

Thank you for clarifying xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I had a cancellation due to a real life drama. Guy badly broke his leg that afternoon. Had to have surgery with metal plates and pins in. Would have taken months to recover.

Then the numpty changed his status a couple of weeks later to say he was off to France skiing.

When people lie etc when a similar situation arises you're not forgiving.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Things can happen that do take priority. A year or 2 ago I was literally 10 mins from a meet and someone decided to ram the back of my car at a junction. Luckily the lady offered a second chance and we met a week later. We had a fabulous time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we never make back up plans.

we have a lovely evening together doing what we would have done if with a meet, just with fewer people lol.

this shit is merely a passtime, an addition to the wonderful life we share.

we ask for a meet, and it happens.

on the rare occasion it doesnt happen, we dont cry about it

dont come on here and post about timewasters or ask whats wrong with us

we have a lovely evening wherever we are, possibly a nice meal, we retire to our palace of sin, and have a bloody good session.

this way we never have a bad night, however those that let us down have missed out on a great time lol

im sorry you took that personally.

i was answering a post about making back up plans or not.

wasnt referring to your OP at all.

Thank you for clarifying xx

thats fine.

im sure if we organised anything, there would only be 1 thing standing up lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *RYBBWCouple
over a year ago

Leeds.

One chance only. If we turn up and they don't that's it.

If they cancel with good notice then another day and time can be arranged.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes I give them another chance because RL is more important than fab. I've had to cancel meets a few times because I've not been able to make it.

Me too. Sometimes RL just gets in the way. But the good ones understand and rearrange

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i suddenly developed the shits..yeah I'd cancel...unless that was their thing..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it really depends on the reason, how long we have been chatting and how much notice.

Half an hour isn't that much time really. I imagine most people would have spent quite a bit of time getting ready at that point and, if meeting for a social, would probably be on their way.

I think after even a first cancelation I would be a lot more cautious.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Half hour too short notice - bin and move on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

half an hour we had 15 mins away a bbc twat his loss xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

Absolutely not - not any more. One chance is all they get - and I would expect the same.

So if someone had a genuine and serious reason for cancelling you wouldn't consider then again??"

See my last post. Excuses may sound genuine and 'real' but I would have no way of knowing that. The only thing I would know for sure would be that I'd been cancelled on. I make it clear on my profile that I give no second chances. Any guy who doesn't like it can choose not to contact me. I do what I like. It works for me and I see no reason to change it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ohn_1983Man
over a year ago

South of Norwich

One and only one chance.

A missed first meet is an absolute No go. Cancelling last minute is not acceptable.

Saying that those I have met with in the past I will only give one chance.

There's so many genuine people looking I won't waste my valuable time on those who aren't worth it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I have not booked a non-changeable/refundable hotel room, then I may, just may, consider giving a second chance if I believe the reason for cancellation is legitimate.

Otherwise, no second chance.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *.nottsbloke..Man
over a year ago

the vale

i guess it sort of depends on the amount of notice if its hour or 2 before then sure another chance if its at the exact moment of meet then probs not

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread