FabSwingers.com forum: for the couples

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi we've had a couple of mmfs before which we both enjoyed but admittedly it was when we was under influence, now we don't do anything like that an has been a long time and would like to try swinging again but uncomfortable/paranoid thoughts have popped up on both sides, are we just being silly an go for it or should we take more time and wait till we feel more ready?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi we've had a couple of mmfs before which we both enjoyed but admittedly it was when we was under influence, now we don't do anything like that an has been a long time and would like to try swinging again but uncomfortable/paranoid thoughts have popped up on both sides, are we just being silly an go for it or should we take more time and wait till we feel more ready? "

Sometimes you just have to walk into the unknown and take the first step... then if you feel uncomfortable discuss what made it like that and move on... It's all about fun and pleasure at the end of the day

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't do it unless you are both 100% happy. You mention paranoid thoughts these never go away by seeing the cause of the paranoia enacted in front of you. If you have even a shred if doubt step back, talk honestly to each other, respect each others views and be honest with yourself. In my opinion the fact that you need to ask means you shouldn't do it.

Hope things go well

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i do want to an have done before, just being silly i guess, maybe it doesnt help we havnt had sex as much between us lately an need to reconnect to help us feel more secure with eachother, we do trust eachother and everything, just this is new, im more then happy for soft meets though so may just have a couple of those and see if they progress

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP ur profile seriously needs a rewrite, uve confused urselves and others by what ur after.

no single men unless we want u is fine, but then ur basically going on about wanting an mmf

take a bit more time writing it out and updating it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Reconnect first would be my advice. Swinging is like water it will find the smallest crack in the strongest relationship so you need to be able to have that connection to rely on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nobody can really advise you before they know what the " uncomfortable/paranoid thoughts" concern?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"i do want to an have done before, just being silly i guess, maybe it doesnt help we havnt had sex as much between us lately an need to reconnect to help us feel more secure with eachother, we do trust eachother and everything, just this is new, im more then happy for soft meets though so may just have a couple of those and see if they progress"

Is this the woman writing? Your profile says what your partner wants but nothing about what you want. I'm a nosey, interfering old bag I have a daughter your age and I would say this to her.....do not do this unless you absolutely want to. I get a very uncomfortable feeling from your profile and posts, why do you think you are being silly for having doubts for instance? You are entitled to express doubt without having you feelings belittled or patronised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suggest that unless you KNOW you will be ok in a MMF threesome you do not do it. Suck it and see can be poisonous!

Foursomes are a far better environment if you have concerns. The affection of the other couple towards each other helps to calm any emotional fears you may have about your own partner.

In any event consider it well and do not do it unless you are certain.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

the warning bells are ringing loud for me because its a couples profile but contains the phrase "I want" and no mention of "we" anywhere.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

personally if the sex between me and my OH wasn't as regular as i wanted i wouldn't think of swinging.

this is an addition to a happy relationship for us and i would want to make sure my own house was in order before inviting anyone else in

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"personally if the sex between me and my OH wasn't as regular as i wanted i wouldn't think of swinging.

this is an addition to a happy relationship for us and i would want to make sure my own house was in order before inviting anyone else in"

Exactly!

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"personally if the sex between me and my OH wasn't as regular as i wanted i wouldn't think of swinging.

this is an addition to a happy relationship for us and i would want to make sure my own house was in order before inviting anyone else in"

Wise words indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile I would agree needs work on as sounds very male orientated.

I think you both need to ask yourself, is swinging for you?

You have already said things are not 100% right between you, that should set alarm bells off.

Is one of you "doing" swinging to please the other? Because it comes across that way and without pointing the finger it sounds like the male is more keen on it.

Only you two know what you are paranoid about and your reservations.

However if you do not have boundaries set in agreement with each other before you meet other people then your relationship is in jeopardy and you are going to find the cracks widening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your profile I would agree needs work on as sounds very male orientated.

I think you both need to ask yourself, is swinging for you?

You have already said things are not 100% right between you, that should set alarm bells off.

Is one of you "doing" swinging to please the other? Because it comes across that way and without pointing the finger it sounds like the male is more keen on it.

Only you two know what you are paranoid about and your reservations.

However if you do not have boundaries set in agreement with each other before you meet other people then your relationship is in jeopardy and you are going to find the cracks widening.

MMMmmmm widening cracks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your profile I would agree needs work on as sounds very male orientated.

I think you both need to ask yourself, is swinging for you?

You have already said things are not 100% right between you, that should set alarm bells off.

Is one of you "doing" swinging to please the other? Because it comes across that way and without pointing the finger it sounds like the male is more keen on it.

Only you two know what you are paranoid about and your reservations.

However if you do not have boundaries set in agreement with each other before you meet other people then your relationship is in jeopardy and you are going to find the cracks widening.

MMMmmmm widening cracks

Trust you

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales

Cannot give advice unless we know what the concerns are, but definitely know that swinging isn't the best way to spice up a dying relationship, it will only make matters worse in the end. It can definitely spice one up that's already working well though..

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