FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on profile!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not posted on here before, so please be gentle! We are finding it hard to find women who want to meet and are getting sick of the fakes! If any of you have the time, or inclination, we would be really grateful if you could look at our profile and give us any pointers as to where we are going wrong! thanks in advance xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would suggest a phone call between you. At least then if it's a guy with a fake profile he'll try making excuses as to why a phone call isn't possible. Won't stop it completely but it may help a little.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

You are taking the proverbial

7 weeks, 6 veris

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"You are taking the proverbial

7 weeks, 6 veris

All cam veris tho.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

i think I know what you are saying but please explain? Is it because when we first joined we thought that the chat rooms were the place to meet women and also to chat to others? We soon realised our mistake! We haven't been on cam for a while now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"You are taking the proverbial

7 weeks, 6 veris

Mostly from men though. That might be giving females the wrong idea about who the OP will meet.

Also I would recommend putting more about the male role in this. Watching? Participating? Down the pub? Bit more detail needed I suspect.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As has already been mentioned... Possibly the verifications are putting people off. You could hide them.

You also say you only want to converse with women you find attractive... Maybe explain what that is? What you are looking for? How you envisage those meets going? How the Mrs would like her journey into exploring her Bi side going. Give people a clue

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would suggest a phone call between you. At least then if it's a guy with a fake profile he'll try making excuses as to why a phone call isn't possible. Won't stop it completely but it may help a little. "

This is how we have spotted the fakes. It feels such a waste of time to even get to that point but I guess it's just a part of the site we'll have to live with like everybody else...SO frustrating though! x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not wrong or a mistake its just you are going after something which is hard to find

Personally I would say you are on the wrong site for what you are after, I would switch to one with a subscription charge then you will out the morons as they are less likely to pay to post a profile

Patience and perseverance I suppose your profile looks fine and pics are fantastic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

Where's Mr T Fabio when you need him

He explains everything implicitly

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What is in it for the woman that meets you? Must admit that I can't see anything that would inspire, if anything the oppositte as it all seems about fulfilling your fantasy.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok, we're hearing the advice on verifications. I think we thought it was good to have a few so that people would know we are genuine. But I can see that they are not ideal!

Also giving more detail on what we are looking for is a good idea, but feels hard as we don't want to appear too picky or insult anyone! But there must be ways that we could word it that we could work on. Hmmmmmm.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I quite like your profile. It's short and to the point. I suspect it won't matter as men don't read profiles anyway.

Maybe you could do a search and check to see if any of the ladies you like the look of are bi.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally I would say you are on the wrong site for what you are after, I would switch to one with a subscription charge then you will out the morons as they are less likely to pay to post a profile "

really?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simple. Single bisexual women are rare as rocking horse shit.

Try clubs is my advice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

[Removed by poster at 19/08/13 20:59:41]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try clubs is my advice. "

Good call

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Simple. Single bisexual women are rare as rocking horse shit.

Try clubs is my advice. "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Where's Mr T Fabio when you need him

He explains everything implicitly

thanks for the build up.... fiver in the post!!!!

okay... here comes my pearl of wisdom:

men are to couples, as couples are to single fems

lots of the former... not so many of the latter....

so you have to put yourself in a different mindset....

you will probably have to give the people reasons as to why they should meet you!

after all.... there are loads of other couples out there looking for the same thing, so why are you different? what makes you stand out???

most single bi-fems I know hate the thought of being treated as another couples "plaything"..... and that is the mistake most couples make

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok, well, lots of good advice in there! Thanks all! I think perhaps the nail on the head moment was realising that every couple is looking for the elusive single fem! We will have a go at making our profile more specific and perhaps hide the verifications....although does that not suggest they are bad? Regarding clubs, we're not sure that we feel confident enough to try them or that we like the publicity of a club situation, but we will continue to bear it in mind! xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

most single bi-fems I know hate the thought of being treated as another couples "plaything"..... and that is the mistake most couples make

yes, we are definitely aware from a friend on here that he doesn't like to feel like that, not many do deeep down i suspect and that is certainly not how we would want anyone to feel/be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

There are a few of us single bi fems around that quite like being a little play thing occasionally

But yes, we are quite rare.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, well, lots of good advice in there! Thanks all! I think perhaps the nail on the head moment was realising that every couple is looking for the elusive single fem! We will have a go at making our profile more specific and perhaps hide the verifications....although does that not suggest they are bad? Regarding clubs, we're not sure that we feel confident enough to try them or that we like the publicity of a club situation, but we will continue to bear it in mind! xx

Hmmm.. wondering how you can comment on the 'publicity' of the club environment when you haven't been to one...?

OP - if I may be so bold... I think you have fallen in to the classic trap which people/couples who were lucky when the good looks and great bodies were handed out fall into. It's the 'we look hot so why doesn't anyone want to meet us?'. And the answer is simple. It can be very off-putting for the rest of us mere mortals.

You're looking for the elusive single bi-fem, yes? And you state clearly in the first line or two of your profile that she must be 'hot'. What, exactly, is 'hot'? A single bifem looking at your pics and reading that will probably be thinking 'Well, I won't be hot enough for them'... and move on to the next.

Spend a little time and be brutally honest with yourselves how you come over to anyone viewing your profile.

I would also go along with the earlier advice that you really should try clubs, as all your veris are by webcam - and the truth is, the more of those you have, the less will be your chances of getting them by meeting.

ted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

I would like to add, if you aren't confident enough to go to a club, maybe try a social? For me personally it was the best way to meet people in a social environment where maybe you won't feel so much pressure. You just come, meet some people, have a drink, a laugh and go home. If you meet someone you like either you can take advantage then and there or arrange to meet up another time. Works really well for me and many other people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You're looking for the elusive single bi-fem, yes? And you state clearly in the first line or two of your profile that she must be 'hot'. What, exactly, is 'hot'? A single bifem looking at your pics and reading that will probably be thinking 'Well, I won't be hot enough for them'... and move on to the next."

Just came back to forum after editing our profile, we had realised that the profile was a little presumtious about people knowing what we find 'hot' and also therefore quite impling negativity about what other people might find 'hot'. We have eradicated this word (and others like it) from our profile and have tried to be more specific!

So to come back and find that you have confirmed our thoughts was great!Thank you.

With regards to clubs when we talk of the publicity of them I guess we mean about having sex in 'reallife' in front of multiple people, which may be an assumption but I understood that that was what clubs were about? But yes, I don not know for certain.

However, the information about social nights sounds quite interesting.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are a few of us single bi fems around that quite like being a little play thing occasionally

But yes, we are quite rare.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There are a few of us single bi fems around that quite like being a little play thing occasionally

But yes, we are quite rare.

Thanks for the advice. Don't forget to let us know if you're ever having one of those occasional moments! x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

"There are a few of us single bi fems around that quite like being a little play thing occasionally

But yes, we are quite rare.

Thanks for the advice. Don't forget to let us know if you're ever having one of those occasional moments! x

Ah if only you were closer

Good work on your profile changes too

If you want to know about socials, have a look at the meet requests and parties thread in the forums. Socials are often advertised in there and there is always one going on somewhere. No doubt one will pop up soon that is near to you if there isn't one there already!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ah if only you were closer

London is only 1 hour direct on the train from here, we do go!

Will keep an eye out for the posts, thanks x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

Your profile is still off putting for single females -

". We are looking for someone who we find pretty and with what we consider to be an attractive figure(size 12ish or under)ideally you will be filthy, like us"

We meet ladies all sizes & they have all been lovely, reading your first paragraph its very off putting for any lady as you have such a narrow margin.

Meeting singles ladies is like gold dust & wanting a certain type/size will make it almost impossible.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

"Your profile is still off putting for single females -

". We are looking for someone who we find pretty and with what we consider to be an attractive figure(size 12ish or under)ideally you will be filthy, like us"

We meet ladies all sizes & they have all been lovely, reading your first paragraph its very off putting for any lady as you have such a narrow margin.

Meeting singles ladies is like gold dust & wanting a certain type/size will make it almost impossible. "

Profiles are difficult as you can't possibly please everyone. Personally I don't find their profile off putting as it clearly states what they want. They aren't going to meet someone they don't find attractive and neither do most people. Most people are actually only attracted to a certain type or size. It's just how it is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *imjohnCouple
over a year ago

Clacton on sea, Essex

"Your profile is still off putting for single females -

". We are looking for someone who we find pretty and with what we consider to be an attractive figure(size 12ish or under)ideally you will be filthy, like us"

We meet ladies all sizes & they have all been lovely, reading your first paragraph its very off putting for any lady as you have such a narrow margin.

Meeting singles ladies is like gold dust & wanting a certain type/size will make it almost impossible.

Narrowing it down this much will be like looking for leprechaun gold...we wish them luck but only time will tell.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your profile is still off putting for single females -

". We are looking for someone who we find pretty and with what we consider to be an attractive figure(size 12ish or under)ideally you will be filthy, like us"

We meet ladies all sizes & they have all been lovely, reading your first paragraph its very off putting for any lady as you have such a narrow margin.

Meeting singles ladies is like gold dust & wanting a certain type/size will make it almost impossible. "

OP - I would go along with _imjohn (think you ought to look up their profile and see what qualifies them to comment in the way they have...). After reading your amended profile since my last comment, I have to ask if either or both of you are in Direct Sales? On reading your profile again, I was half expecting to find the term 'must be thrusting and dynamic; in there somewhere!

You are looking for the most elusive, and in-demand, category of person in the whole world of Swinging, and yet your profile comes over as so demanding as to put the very kind of person you're looking for off right from line 1.

I think you need a complete rethink about the approach you are using, or your profile will end up with the words 'user no longer on site' at the top very soon I fear.....

ted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think you need a complete rethink about the approach you are using, or your profile will end up with the words 'user no longer on site' at the top very soon I fear.....

ted."

This is so very difficult. The main advice on here was that it looked as though we were only all about ourselves and not considering the single woman and also that we were not clear about what we wanted out of a meet, what type of woman we want and what we find as 'hot' rather than just using a word that doesn't let anyone know what we specifically find attractive.

We decided to kind of do a tongue in cheek 'what we are looking for, what we can offer you' kind of approach to make it simple and easy to read. Usually our instinct is to go with a written prose style and that is how we started out, but realised we just waffle!

KimJohn has some valid thoughts they commented "We meet ladies all sizes & they have all been lovely" and we don't doubt that this is true, we're not suggesting that anyone of any size can not be lovely. Don't we all meet lovely people in the world who are all shapes and sizes? But this is about sex and what we find attractive. It's only natural to say that we also want to be physically attracted to the people we meet for sex isn't it? And if we know we won't meet anyone who is larger than Mrs Filth, then it seems a waste of any women's time NOT to write that. We understand the point is that we should widen our eyes and be open to all women and experiences, but that is hard if you aren't actually attracted to them. We could delete the line, in order not to offend, but it would still be true in who we select. This is what I said earlier about how do we be more specific without offending or sounding demanding!? It's a catch 22.

I guess asking for advice on here will always give conflicting advice and we just have to pick out what we feel suits us from it and we felt that the ideas about being more specific about what we are looking for and explaining what any woman may get out of us was good advice and we decided to do a kind of jokey resume style approach. Perhaps we should introduce it as that as it obviously doesnt come across that way!

We agree that the profile goes 'straight' into the 'what we are looking for' thing, and coud sound cold and we have been thinking about adding a little more o an introducton beforehand, so we take that on board. Thank you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Your profile is still off putting for single females -

". We are looking for someone who we find pretty and with what we consider to be an attractive figure(size 12ish or under)ideally you will be filthy, like us"

We meet ladies all sizes & they have all been lovely, reading your first paragraph its very off putting for any lady as you have such a narrow margin.

Meeting singles ladies is like gold dust & wanting a certain type/size will make it almost impossible. "

Totally disagree with this. There is no point not being specific about who you find attractive in case it puts people off who wouldn't fit your criteria anyway.

It's tough to meet single women who fancy both of the couple and who the couple also both fancy, there is no doubt about that. But your advice essentially amounts to 'try to be less choosey, and you'll get more meets'.

Whilst that is no doubt true, that's not necessarily going to make anyone happier in the end.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly hello and welcome to the forums!

It's hard for anyone to give you advise on your profile..... As its your personal profile!

If your just looking for single Fems then be prepared to do some leg work and to build a rapport with a few of them!

As its already been said there are a lot of couples looking for the same as you! So just have a little patience and maybe look further afield

Good luck

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read your initial question with interest and really wish I could have read your original profile, before the changes were made, as what you have on there now is most offputting.

why can't you just say you are looking for a bifem with a similar frame to yourself, that way you won't alienate the most of the ones that read the first bullet point! also I see you are asking for whoever contacts you to send a face pic...yet there are no clear face pics of either you or you hubby on your profile? and lastly, you say you are looking for a connection but because of your demands in the looks/build department you just come across(to me at least) as being rather shallow! maybe you should inject some humour into it, to take the edge off the fact that you are (quite rightly) rather fussy......after all, we bifems are also rather fussy and that's why you probably have more chance of finding fairies at the bottom of your garden!!

Good luck!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I read your initial question with interest and really wish I could have read your original profile, before the changes were made, as what you have on there now is most offputting.

Good luck!!

Thanks for your advice, we have taken it on board and I really liked you suggestion about saying 'a similar frame to Mrs' that seems like a perfect way to put it without being so blunt. Thank you.

We have also made other changes just to the style and decided against the bullet points (itjust isnt us!) and gone for the written prose instead!

However I feel the comments about face pics are slightly unfair. There are at least two clear face pic of me (Mrs) (and one other blurred one) and one side pic of Mr's face. We are also very happy to send face pics to anyone who asks, just like we ask, and we always include a face pic with our first messages.

But I have added a sentence about being happy to send one to anyone who in interested. Thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks everyone for your advice. We certainly won't have got everything perfect (is that even possible!?) but hopefully we have made some improvements! Some people will like them and some won't I guess...but we'll keep trying to learn! Always open to improving!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *livia_KWoman
over a year ago

South London

I like your profile now, but I liked it before too! I personally didn't find it off-putting it all.

Just please do not make the mistake of trying to please everyone - it is not possible!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like your profile now, but I liked it before too! I personally didn't find it off-putting it all.

Just please do not make the mistake of trying to please everyone - it is not possible!"

thanks xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread